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Thread: Instinct workshop notes sp,so,sx

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    Default Instinct workshop notes sp,so,sx

    This is a repost of notes taken from an enneagram workshop that was conducted in spring 2012. There are a couple of good points covered here regarding the instincts.

    edit: added some more information in a post below


    Introductory notes:

    ~ instincts are "the intelligence of life" -- intelligence of billions of years of evolution
    ~ personality is an activity; instincts are where the personality gets energy for that activity
    ~ ego issues feel like life and death because the activity of the ego is "plugged into" the instincts
    ~ instinctual matters feel non-negotiable / these are where the ego puts its foot down
    ~ the non-dominant instincts (even the blind spot/last instinct) are not missing. they just aren't as much of a preoccupation
    ~ fixation is imbalance
    ~ when other people are acting out the neurotic version of our personal blind spot instinct, it drives us nuts

    ~ presence is the only source of choice. without presence we have no choice but to keep running the same ego programs. presence brings the gift and capacity to do something different
    ~ when we're not present, the heart feels abandoned/rejected. the pain of that is the source of the passion. the story on compulsive replay is the fixation
    ~ personality is "the reaction to loss of presence that we call type x"

    ~ inner work cannot be done by negating things. grace is the bringing in of that which is in line with what the person more deeply needs. (in terms of the instincts, this means that squashing the dominant instinct doesn't work; instead, it's helpful to become more attentive to the genuine functioning of the non-dominant instincts - they already exist and operate in us, we just have to learn to let them into our awareness and give them enough space)
    ~ awareness to recognize where the seeds within us already are for bringing our own authentic expression of the blind spot into being. (iow, working with the blind spot instinct by discovering where it already exists authentically within us, and nurturing our own authentic expression of what is there)
    ~ we can only be truly aware of the undistorted instincts when we are present, and to the degree we're present
    ~ when we're present, we're listening to what the body needs moment to moment instead of making decisions based on our history and reactions


    All three instincts manifest in one-on-one and intimate settings.

    All three instinct manifest as different flavors of love:


    SP: building a nest, having a life together. it's easier to create a foundation together. wanting continuity, stuff you can rely on

    SX: activation, immersion in the other. spark / fire / spice

    SO: buddy, a person you can take on life with. helping each other do things, being "for" each other


    ~ each instinct can be distorted through slackness or through rigidity/overdoing
    ~ for each instinct, Russ described three arenas or "zones" (his word) that the instinct deals with. He said most people have stronger and weaker areas within each instinct, that very few people are strong in all three zones for a particular instinct, even their dominant one. I'll mostly use the word "areas" because I associate "zones" with hierarchical divisions and these are not hierarchical or progressive, just different.
    ~ obsessing about an instinct is not superior to overlooking it


    It was mentioned that many people who thought they were soc-last, later find out they are soc-middle or soc-first once they actually understand the instinct. Social instinct is not about "liking to be in groups" or liking to socialize.

    It's worth repeating that we do experience even our blind spot instinct. So when you read through the notes about each individual instinct, don't assume something's wrong just because you KNOW that's your blind spot and yet your experiences don't quite match. Stack is a weighting of how much attention and ego activity gets directed around the matters pertaining to each instinct. No one is completely devoid of any of the instincts.

    Keep in mind that a person who has a particular instinct dominant in their personality does not necessarily express all the characteristics of the unfixated instinct. For instance, depending on the person, an ego distortion of the soc instinct might cause a soc-first individual to be preoccupied with excluding people or gatekeeping, whereas the undistorted instinct is very accepting and cooperative. Another example, also on soc instinct, is that an ego distortion depending on type) might cause a soc-first individual to try and squelch individuality in an attempt to achieve a "smooth" group dynamic; whereas the undistorted instinct is interested in who you really are and supportive of individuality. So if a characteristic in the list strikes you as "wtf??", maybe consider whether it might have to do with the difference between the natural instinct vs. the ego distortion.

    In our blindspot instinct, we tend to feel perpetually like little kids, feeling unable to handle things in that area, putting ourselves down "I'll never get it together" in that instinct. Try to notice the ways in which you already do handle some aspects of the blind spot successfully. Find where you're already doing your blind spot instinct and doing it well, and start from there.

    Also, in our blind spot instinct there is a tendency to procrastinate. Maybe we even feel the impulse of that instinct, but we put off acting on it. Again, bringing attention is a good place to start.


    SP Instinct

    ~ "life tries to have life in abundance"
    ~ conserves energy a lot (contrast with sx spending) - noted that most wild animals spend a large amount of time resting / even so, the sp instinct knows how much is enough, and when rested enough will get up and do other things
    ~ "the journey toward a sense of wellbeing"
    ~ kind attentiveness to ourselves
    ~ concern about resources, having enough/fear of scarcity
    ~ safety/security, comfort, back-up plans
    ~ awareness of "chronos" time (clock time, quantitative time); "crisper about deadlines"
    ~ time as a resource: how you use it, accounting for it
    ~ when rigid or anxious about this instinct, there can be a sense of chronos time being scarce, time always running out
    ~ when sp is dominant, one-on-one relationships emphasize someone to nest with, build a castle with; long term relationships common due to focus on stability. sp is realistic about commitment, not going with every whim of feeling. the ability to look back and say "look at what we've built/created together" -- things are taken care of and now we can enjoy it; cozy. endurance in relationship builds love and trust
    ~ one distortion is go-go too much, another distortion is lethargy. if you attend to the body's messages, either of these will correct itself.
    ~ sp-dominant tend to feel self-contained and place higher value on privacy
    ~ a danger for sp-first is to remain fearful/limited/stuck in a rut


    sp areas:
    ~ health and wellbeing: physical needs such as hunger, fatigue; noticing what the body feels like after one thing or another
    ~ practical know-how / finances, work / establishing your practical foundation in life / attention to what needs to be dealt with
    ~ domesticity and nesting, making home a nice place to be

    Please note that the descriptions of enneagram's sp instinct closely correlate to those of socionics Si - link. This does not mean that all sp stackings are Si valuing or that all Si types value sp. A clear distinction between the two has never been drawn, but it is likely that Socionics Si has borrowed qualities of the SP instinct. For individuals who strongly express self-pres traits this often serves as a point of confusion in their socionics typings.


    SX Instinct:

    ~ spends energy a lot (contrast with sp conserving)
    ~ "intelligence of the evolutionary process" / the drive to evolve / the sx instinct is what "attracts us to go beyond what's comfortable for us"
    ~ doesn't care about comfort; makes us leave the comfort zone to explore new things
    ~ throwing caution to the wind and going for it
    ~ attraction: what we're attracted to and what we attract / magnetism (and its opposite, repulsion)
    ~ display/showing off to get the other interested
    ~ on the most refined level, sx is the fuel for choosing to grow/evolve (e.g. inner work)
    ~ Russ differentiated between "liking" or "being inspired" vs. being "turned on"/aroused. the sx instinct is about turning-on/arousal. (my comment, think about the irresistible pull implied by "magnetism")
    ~ when we are tuned into the sx energy, we're more aware of the energy itself (e.g. the sense of arousal) than "the relationship" / a sense that the energy is pushing us into certain behaviors / sense of being compelled toward something (again, the flip side of this is revulsion, being compelled away from something)
    ~ sx makes you feel more alive, vigorous
    ~ awareness of "kairos" time - sense of it being the right time for something in a qualitative sense
    ~ fear is of not "getting to something" (climax, literally and figuratively), restlessness, sense that your life is, or needs to be, moving toward some kind of climax
    ~ a danger of sx-first is going out of control, "flaming out"/volatility


    sx areas:
    ~ "edge" - exploration, pushing the envelope, risk. can involve aggression (the energy of hunting)
    ~ broadcasting, charisma, display (pouring out the energy) / think of animals doing the dance/spread/strut to attract the other gender
    ~ fusion - total involvement, enjoyment of completely losing yourself in whatever it is -- a person, a pursuit, etc.


    SO Instinct:

    ~ ability to adapt behavior
    ~ beginning place of altruism (as animals became more complex, the young needing longer care, a need arose for an instinct that could override sp to ensure the survival of one's children even if one's own life goes)
    ~ soc is subjectively experienced as caring ("giving a damn")
    ~ play (for fun) (or flirting in case of romantic play)
    ~ acceptance, interested in who others really are
    ~ soc decides what we say "yes" vs. "no" to socially, it's how we read situations and people and decide where to invest
    ~ soc brings a certain humility because of the sense of interdependence. less overestimating the relative importance of one individual self
    ~ most communication is soc (except for territorial (sp) and mating (sx))
    ~ awareness of the other (compare with sx awareness of the energy between two people, soc brings awareness of the other as themselves, as a person in their own right) and of how one's self and the other are affecting each other
    ~ cited a study in which the biggest factor for longevity was friendship
    ~ bonds between species (e.g. humans and pets) are examples of soc instinct
    ~ one way of looking at all the major spiritual teachings are as an expansion of the soc instinct; ultimately, including all life within the soc instinct's movement toward win-win
    ~ under ego distortion, the soc instinct is involved in war, group dominance - though those are soc in combination with sp (survival/greed) and/or sx (competition). straight-up/undistorted soc instinct is always win-win.


    soc areas:

    ~ reading people and adapting behavior
    ➙ sp wants other stuff to adapt to the self; soc is willing to adapt self in light of others' needs
    as an example, suppose you feel the room is too hot and you see a thermostat on the wall. sp just turns down the thermostat, but soc gauges others' temperature - if everyone else in the room is dressed lightly, soc does not turn down the thermostat.

    ~~bonding, affiliating, communicating / creating connection~~
    ➙ attraction is sx, but creating and maintaining bonds/relationship is soc
    marriage is primarily soc

    ~~contribution and participation~~
    ➙we're wired to contribute. regardless of stack, self-esteem suffers when we feel we have nothing to contribute or what we contribute isn't wanted or doesn't matter.
    ➙ valuing each others' contributions falls in the soc area as well.

    When soc is the blind spot:
    ~ opportunities to be with others are seen in terms of "what will it cost me". Can be a feeling of not caring, of being excessively selfish.
    ~ talking to self, may be really talking to self even when ostensibly talking to others, interrupting
    ~ always a feeling of not having made one's contribution even when one actually is contributing

    original source
    Last edited by silke; 04-30-2018 at 05:26 AM.

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    Korpsy Knievel's Avatar
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    Polycentric bioenergy impulse exchanges understood through subject-object relations. Nice. I appreciate the OP's attention to higher operational factors than the gross products of vulgar behaviorism. More like this plx.

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    this is really cool. :0

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    This is actually really good for explaining instincts to others from a non-experiential standpoint. It also better explains what it is that unnerves me about Sx-lasts: forming connections without or regardless of the in-person attraction or chemistry between them, as opposed to the idea of them wanting a sense of group togetherness and solidarity.

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    this helped with some confusion i've had about sp/sx vs. sx/sp and why sx-firsts can seem less "intimate" to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    this helped with some confusion i've had about sp/sx vs. sx/sp and why sx-firsts can seem less "intimate" to me.
    Less intimate? Interesting, I'd like to hear more from your perspective on that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Less intimate? Interesting, I'd like to hear more from your perspective on that.
    the literature tends to talk about sx-firsts being so focused on bonding or whatever and it confused me when i compared it to actual people. because something i'd noticed is that sx-firsts can, to me, seem kinda - the word that comes to mind is slutty, but i don't mean that literally. i mean in their energy, or the feelers they put out for connection. like they'll find it anywhere and its not really as special. and what i read here coalesced with that impression, like its more of a selfish thing about their own feeling of intensity and resonance and not about actual bonding or realness. like they're more hungry for it so they'll just eat whatever is sitting around.
    (well i'm aware that connecting is obviously an important aspect of sx but i'm emphasizing the difference i see for the sake of explaining)

    it makes me think maybe sx-seconds are probably where its at for me re: comfort in relationships.

    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal
    ~ when sp is dominant, one-on-one relationships emphasize someone to nest with, build a castle with; long term relationships common due to focus on stability. sp is realistic about commitment, not going with every whim of feeling. the ability to look back and say "look at what we've built/created together" -- things are taken care of and now we can enjoy it; cozy. endurance in relationship builds love and trust
    Quote Originally Posted by siuntal
    ~ when we are tuned into the sx energy, we're more aware of the energy itself (e.g. the sense of arousal) than "the relationship" / a sense that the energy is pushing us into certain behaviors / sense of being compelled toward something (again, the flip side of this is revulsion, being compelled away from something)

    ~ broadcasting, charisma, display (pouring out the energy) / think of animals doing the dance/spread/strut to attract the other gender

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    Killer of DJA's Fun fen's Avatar
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    I think this helps a lot.
    There seems to be this impression that being sx instinct means you are are deep and sentimental and passionate or something. But to me sx just seems selfish and disruptive...uncaring, even, in a way.
    Makes me think of red decks in Magic the Gathering. http://wiki.mtgsalvation.com/article/Red
    The overall strategy with red decks is to disrupt with fire and goblins and such. (I personally always preferred green decks above all, though red can be fun. Just gets redundant.)

    Anywayyy...I think this is super helpful @siuntal.

    I have similar views as you, @lungs, I think...about sx-first seeming less intimate. To me it just seems like a volcano erupting and creating chaos. I don't really see what is so "merging" about sx. To me, sx seems anything but "merging." Like "This is me; idgaf how it affects you." Which...doesn't seem intimate at all.
    And I would hide my face in you and you would hide your face in me, and nobody would ever see us any more.


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    Quote Originally Posted by fenryrr View Post
    I think this helps a lot.
    There seems to be this impression that being sx instinct means you are are deep and sentimental and passionate or something. But to me sx just seems selfish and disruptive...uncaring, even, in a way.
    Makes me think of red decks in Magic the Gathering. http://wiki.mtgsalvation.com/article/Red
    The overall strategy with red decks is to disrupt with fire and goblins and such. (I personally always preferred green decks above all, though red can be fun. Just gets redundant.)

    Anywayyy...I think this is super helpful @siuntal.

    I have similar views as you, @lungs, I think...about sx-first seeming less intimate. To me it just seems like a volcano erupting and creating chaos. I don't really see what is so "merging" about sx. To me, sx seems anything but "merging." Like "This is me; idgaf how it affects you." Which...doesn't seem intimate at all.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

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    Sx is Italian. Check.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    the literature tends to talk about sx-firsts being so focused on bonding or whatever and it confused me when i compared it to actual people. because something i'd noticed is that sx-firsts can, to me, seem kinda - the word that comes to mind is slutty, but i don't mean that literally. i mean in their energy, or the feelers they put out for connection. like they'll find it anywhere and its not really as special. and what i read here coalesced with that impression, like its more of a selfish thing about their own feeling of intensity and resonance and not about actual bonding or realness. like they're more hungry for it so they'll just eat whatever is sitting around.
    Interesting, I described a similar experience not long ago where I was so caught up in the energy of the moment that I didn't have time to really internalize how much I didn't give a shit about the other guy.


    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    it makes me think maybe sx-seconds are probably where its at for me re: comfort in relationships.
    I think I appreciate comfort in my relationships too, but I find that there has to be something evolutory about the relationships I'm in. Like there has to be some sort of morphing in energy, meaning, significance, whatever in order for me to remain invested. Like once I get to a point where "well, this is it, this is what the thing is, tada" I just find it difficult to keep it that way and need something more.

    I guess that's what kinda gets me about Sp-primary types, their relationships with people seem, at least on the surface, relatively simple and uncomplicated; or at least they tend to strive for simplicity in that way. It can almost seem like nothing more than cohabitation with the occasional "hey how you doing."

    Also I lol'd at @fenryrr's MTG comparison. Now I want to look at more of these descriptions.
    Last edited by Galen; 12-16-2012 at 09:10 AM.

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    Can you do all that SX first stuff while laying in bed depressed? If so, I am totally SX first!
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    I think I appreciate comfort in my relationships too, but I find that there has to be something evolutory about the relationships I'm in. Like there has to be some sort of morphing in energy, meaning, significance, whatever in order for me to remain invested. Like once I get to a point where "well, this is it, this is what the thing is, tada" I just find it difficult to keep it that way and need something more.

    I guess that's what kinda gets me about Sp-primary types, their relationships with people seem, at least on the surface, relatively simple and uncomplicated; or at least they tend to strive for simplicity in that way. It can almost seem like nothing more than cohabitation with the occasional "hey how you doing."
    !!!! yussss

    i was discussing this the other day with LSI sx/so friend how it's important for relationships to retain a constant sense of struggle; of fighting to win something; keeping that "spark" alive; because once you reach that leveled state of stagnancy (when you finally get it), you get bored and start looking for something else. he agreed w/ it, he has the tendency to do exactly that as do i myself. i never thought to correlate it with sx-first.

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    As for Sx-last types being called cold or impersonal, I rebut with this:

    They mostly seem impersonal and distant solely from an Sx perspective, which is why I think it's so important to have a detached understanding of how the instincts work. Most all the Sx-last types I've known in my life have made very clear attempts at bonding with me; however, their reasons for doing so differ vastly from mine. What I find So > Sx types doing regularly and with greater ease than myself is building and maintaining a sort of personal support system out of the people they know and trust. They aren't actively seeking group acceptance by default: they're cultivating their own personally-tailored group from people they already connect with on some level. So they'll be most keen on catching up with people, seeing how their lives are developing, etc all for the sake of maintaining those security bonds and ensuring themselves that their support teams are there for them whenever the time arises that they're needed.

    This is an aspect of life that I as an So-last tend to ignore, and honestly find a bit annoying and draining to do. There's something in me that loathes the idea of reconnecting bonds and connections I've had with others: old high school friends, teachers, colleagues, etc. Once they're out of my life in an immediate sense, I find myself easily forgetting about them and moving on. The only exceptions to this are people who I consider to be my best friends, whose connection I feel most strongly about in an addictive magnetic sort of way. The thought of going back to my old high school and seeing all the faces of long ago, even if I did enjoy being around them at the time, fills me with dread because I have no immediate connection with anybody there anymore. I can hear them now, seeing my face and going "omg it's galen! We must catch up," and I just kinda shudder internally at the thought, as it seems like a pointless task perpetrated as nothing more than a cultural ritual of going through the motions. In this way I imagine a lot of So first types conversely seeing me as a very cold and distant person, because I have such difficulty engaging with them in a manner they expect.

    This isn't a point of pride btw, it's a problem I can easily see come back to bite me in the ass when it comes to matters like finding a job or search for a relationship. It's difficult for So lasts to just bite the bullet and make connections with people, as it's it's simply not a strong internal priority no matter how much they know intellectually how important an aspect of life it may be. Instead they'll likely favor going with whoever they feel the best immediate chemistry with and trying to keep those bonds strong for the future. It's less practical to create a support system in this way compared to So types relative ease in branching out (unless he/she experiences self-doubt problems), but it's the most natural way they/we know how to do it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Interesting, I described a similar experience not long ago where I was so caught up in the energy of the moment that I didn't have time to really internalize how much I didn't give a shit about the other guy.
    hahaha yeah. dsjfklasjlk;ajf. don't touch me if you don't mean it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Radio View Post
    !!!! yussss

    i was discussing this the other day with LSI sx/so friend how it's important for relationships to retain a constant sense of struggle; of fighting to win something; keeping that "spark" alive; because once you reach that leveled state of stagnancy (when you finally get it), you get bored and start looking for something else. he agreed w/ it, he has the tendency to do exactly that as do i myself. i never thought to correlate it with sx-first.
    this concept isn't lost on me at all. but then what - manufacture a fight? play stupid games? are there any HONEST ways to achieve this?
    do you ever give yourself time to have a celebratory victory party and actually enjoy it before kicking things off again?

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    Quote Originally Posted by lungs View Post
    this concept isn't lost on me at all. but then what - manufacture a fight? play stupid games? are there any HONEST ways to achieve this?
    do you ever give yourself time to have a celebratory victory party and actually enjoy it before kicking things off again?
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he necessarily means that he needs tension within the relationship itself. I think so long as there's some sort of external struggle outside of either of you that you're both aiming to overcome, then you both will learn and grow together from the experience and the relationship will become that much more tight. I can't imagine needing to have fights within a relationship, that's just a set-up for disaster and unnecessary drama.

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    mmm not necessarily external struggles, although that makes sense in the context as well. what i was referring to was more of an internal struggle (if not interpersonal) where you don't feel like... you already have everything at once, you know? like there's still something to be achieved, something to be experienced/known/felt. idk how to describe it. in the most basic sense, it's having a slant, a direction, where you're moving to, like for instance striving for a elusive sense of "becoming" one but never really reaching that point (because it's impossible). but that sort of struggle to be closer and closer keeps driving you and moving the relationship forward. (does that make sense?) unless, of course, the sense of ~mystery~ is gone, or the spark is extinguished, and you just want to gtfo. i'm not even sure what i'm saying and part of this may be influenced by my current life circumstances so take this with a grain of salt. when i say "struggle", i don't mean conflict although conflict can often help the relationship grow sometimes and sometimes like galen says, it's a set-up for disaster. what i mean is this almost adolescent drive to seek out newness in your partner, the feeling that there's still something to discover, when they still have the ability to surprise you. i guess with the right person it just clicks and you keep finding reasons to be intrigued and inspired, so it doesn't need to be manufactured or artificial. i'll rationalize my inability to stay in relationships by saying at a certain point they just stopped intriguing my fancy, and i gave up. i got bored. it did nothing for me. break up, move on. at this point i'm just talking about myself but feel free to frame this in typological terms.
    Last edited by Radio; 12-16-2012 at 07:53 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashton View Post
    I don’t know. I might expect that sort of thing to naturally arise, but if if was an explicit expectation that there be a constant struggle in the relationship, I’d get pissy and resentful towards the person for it.
    Yeah, well, plus there's a lot of things that can make a relationship exciting rather than fighting: travelling together, new exciting activities, new places, making friends with new people, etc.
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    i was not talking about fighting, jesus christ.

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    .
    Last edited by mfckr; 12-25-2014 at 01:01 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Radio View Post
    i was not talking about fighting, jesus christ.
    Okay, so it's not so clear to me what you are talking about. (being honest here)

    If someone "challenges" me, I will tend to fight back. What else?
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    Taken from the "spiritual instincts" thread on EIDB - this is a different discussion from the one in the op, reposting it here to keep all these notes together.


    Self-Preservation (SP)

    Manifests in 3 zones, each with their particular distortions (the distortions are when we are not in that instinct, but when we are reacting to our fears around that instinct). When the SP instinct is distorted, it runs between Rigidity and Flaccidity in these three zones:

    1) Health and Well being - Health, rest, exercise, hygiene, attending to the needs of the body. Becomes distorted as excessive exercise and dieting, eating disorders, trying too hard to be healthy. Or comfort over development, a kind of numb nesting, eating junk food, not sleeping, poor sleeping habits, addiction to alcohol, ect.

    2) Practical know-how - How to attend to practical affairs of living, liking the basics of life, maintenance, repair, adaptability to circumstance, ability to work, to put one's affairs in order, to handle the necessities of our world. Distortion is workaholism or people who can't get to work (don't necessarily mean job), can't take care of themselves.

    3) Domesticity - maintaining a home, a foundation, a base or nest from which pursuing one's passions and callings can be supported. Distortion is the Nest/Tomb, never leaving the home, can't get out, hoarding, purging, or excessively rigid about structures and routines - house has to be spotless, must be in bed at certain time, eat certain foods, control of regularity.

    Russ talked about trainings running late and all the self-pres start worrying about how long it's going - got to get home, have to eat something, have to go to the bathroom, training will be so early the next morning i'll be so tired. Asks, are you really tired or just responding to fear?

    How do I organize my life so as to serve my awakening?

    Self-pres is the most powerful and basic force in the universe, it is the sustaining of life. Drive to life. Will to be. It's not just survival, it's also thriving. Sensation, not cognitive.

    Body system reading the environment, what is the body telling you? It's not that you obey every call of your body, but that you fully acknowledge it and act from a state of presence about those sensation. Not rejecting the intelligence that comes through self-pres. Conservation and restoration of energy.

    Sp is more important doorway for enlightenment because it is about one's existence in the Now.
    No identity/compensating state, sitting in the problem.

    One-on-One is SP: Domestic, stable, trust, nesting, co-habiting, coming home together, sharing, long and deep, comfort, trust, being here with your partner, creating something together, marriage vows, sustaining something.

    SP sex is about touching, body contact, sensations, closeness.

    SP is trusting sensation as intelligence. Knowing when to conserve. Awareness of time and space, "the appointed time" - knowing the appropriate place and time (creating a sacred space) when called into action by presence.

    Everything can be made a sacred space. "We cannot awaken unless we are in god's household".

    SP Blindspot - Person feels childish, unable to rest, to land, can't take care of themselves, always needing outside support, procrastinating SP matters.

    3 Levels of Development:
    - Unconscious - I will survive, even if I must destroy you, even if I must destroy myself. This is survival of the ego at it's purest. "I deserve it".
    - Growing - arranging my life so that I begin to feel well and have the capacity to function.
    - Illuminated - surrender of oneself, energy and body, to be a vehicle for essence. to make space, all space, for essence.


    Sexual (SX)

    "Attraction/Repulsion." NOT bonding.

    Manifest in 3 Zones, and distortions:

    1) Edge/Aggression/ Pushing the envelope - Moving towards what draws you energetically, drive towards what is exciting and interesting, element of risk, of overcoming boundaries, destructive. Salmon swimming upstream to [blocked due to guideline #4 violation] and die. Most aggressive version of their type. There's an element of risk and exhaustion. Jealousy and Competition, over-aggression, over-spending energy, can be heartless, this is hunter-prey dynamic. Everything else sidelined. Recklessness.

    2) Broadcasting/Charisma - Display, broadcasting one's energy and reading the energy of others (not attunement - that is social, this is "where's the juice?"), phallic sending out signals of one's "feathers", what one is all about. Trying to intrigue and being intrigued. Peacocking. *this is not being aware of the other, attuned, connected or bonded*. Where the other "is at" is social. Projecting energy, trying to attract, "feelers" out looking for the juice. Trying to draw you in, like energetic "pheromones".

    3) Immersion/Fusion - completely absorbed, immersion, not just in others but in passions. without the heart center it becomes spiraling, self-absorption, tends to mix with narcissistic issues, tries to resolve left over childhood b.s. Male mantis being eaten by females, male spiders being eaten by females. The question is what do I fusing with? You don't fuse with just anything (there's a picky-ness here... hunter waits for prey... finding the right game, the perfect mate, the right spark. It's not connection. There is a specific intelligence to the attraction, see my example below of plagues and arranged marriages), the nature of the attraction-immersion is that there is a specific something that draws attraction and immersion is sought in.

    Russ said about 50% of people who think they're sexual aren't SX in most cases, but are misunderstanding the two instincts, which is often not their fault but the fault of poor information.

    Once resources are gathered by SP, they want to be used, activated (SX). Doing something with them is social (SO).

    Being turned on, spending energy, driven to spend energy, not a choice.
    Chemistry and fusion, not intimacy.

    -Attracting and being attracted. Also repelling. Time to hunt, mate and go out - aggression and competition - Display - flowers are an example.

    -In presence, we're drawn to what makes more life and energy, when we're distorted, we move to what gives the ego more energy.

    -To be used up by existence, fused with essence, letting no barriers get in the way. Nothing stops you from union with the beloved.

    -Surrender, obliterated by beloved, going all the way.

    -In sex, we can't be intact.

    -Sx is the part of us that doesn't tolerate veils and barriers. The transforming, creative force. competition is the engine of evolution. Breaks things up, shakes things up, sexual is a destabilizing force, but also reconstitution.

    Sexual is the reconstituting of separate elements coming together in new ways - creativity.

    energy that gets us off our ass, fascinated.

    Instinctual wisdom and intelligence - Jess and Russ talked about cultures with arranged marriages, more so and sp than sx, and how that made those cultures more susceptible to being wiped out by plagues. attraction has intelligence.

    -intensity - intense about what? intensity needed because intimacy can't be felt.
    high sx-people have erratic lives

    -social is affection and tenderness. sexual is an energetic synergy. The sexual is not discriminating, because that implies choice, which is social. the sexual has no choice about what it's attracted to, but the instinct has strong attracts and strong repulsions (i'm not saying sexual is interested in everything, more like the opposite - sexual is attracted to very specific elements, but as far as the WHY or the pursuit of that attraction, there is little to no control. Likewise, the sexual instinct has an incredibly hard time engaging with something it's not attracted to.)

    sx-last: postponing the sexual. Not that one doesn't have sx, have passion, have attraction, but it's constantly postponed, corked. passion is kept in a jar. Sx-last person feels unattractive, ashamed, unconscious "I'm boring and lucky to have friends". Sexual can always be talked out of - "I would pursue this, but my work/this person needs me." Seems disruptive or unruly. SX is done self-consciously.

    3 Levels of Development:
    - Unconscious - seeking peaks states of energy and intensity to point of self-destruction, or neurotic about where the energy fix is coming from, manipulating, forcing, hung-up on how to squeeze most intensity. obsession with object. addiction to object of attraction.
    - Growing - activated energy for creation and fulfillment, energy that undoes the log-jams.
    - Illuminated - be on wave of creative life force, energy fully engaged in awakening, sx generated in service of essence, the real juice is awakening. complete transmission. Sacred Prostitute - Jess mentioned Virgina Satir - said she wouldn't work with a client if she couldn't imagine making love to them, otherwise there would not be a complete transmission.


    Social (SOC)

    "Adapting/Bonding"

    Shows up in 3 Zones:

    1) Reading and Adapting - Discerning and reading people's emotions, states, mirroring, how to 'plug in' with people, connecting to where someone is, not what you need from them but where they really are. Learning, adapting new behaviors - when you have a child, you need to be able to learn new behaviors and accommodate them in your life.
    Distortion - back and fourth on participation and support, staying connected in crap relationships for fear of sabotaging being plugged in. Fear of banishment. Losing identity. Going overboard to maintain relationships and overboard in reactions to relationships.
    (*Discussion on Autism as the very lack of this capacity, with additional compensating mental capacities. One of the women in the group is a researcher at Johns Hopkins who studies Autism in children. Difficulty in sensory integration in autism, not able to take in info of the environment because there is too much, unable to make meaningful connections because too much data. This Zone is that capacity to discern, to plug in, to connect.)

    2) Bonding and Affiliating - Create and sustain connection and to know the appropriate nature of the bond. Co-dependency is a way we don't listen to the social instinct.
    Distortion - group merging. groups merging around particular ideas on small and large scales. Individualism fails. Nazi German. Smaller example - our class started side-tracking and joking and bonding over joking, Jessica had to stop the fun because we had to continue on with the real work.

    3) Participation/Contribution - Having an influence, a contribution, a betterment in the lives of others. When animals and people can't contribute (like in experiments or in concentration camps) they commit suicide or die. Something in us lives by connecting to the human journey.
    Distortion - Chronic Reaction to group values. Chronic rebel, chronic supporter. Gang mentality. Consumed by roles. Fixation on affiliation - for or against, ideology is human created. Fixated on something constructed by humans. Identity is asleep. Outlaw.

    Social is not just networking, hanging out, liking groups.

    The birth of emotion, link between instinct and emotion. Developed roughly 350,000,000 years ago when animals started to care for their young. Colonies and herds form as protection systems for young. Link between parents and children. Birth of social instinct is the parent-child bond - your survival is just as, or more important than mine, your survival is my survival. To care for someone and to receive care.

    -Ability to create bonds that are instinctual.
    -Involvement in life of others - bonding and connecting.
    -Affiliations - what to give my time and energy to, what do you serve and align with?

    Play is a big part of social instinct, engaging for the sake of engaging, not needing a reason, not so serious. Americans don't know how to play. Play has to be justified and regulated. Low socials too serious, focus too much on exchange, concerned with 'getting mine'. Humans and animals learn and develop through play.

    Connection to emotions tend to be warm, approachable, accessible.
    Curiosity. "Who are you? This is who I am."

    Social instinct is birth of altruism.

    This is about having a call and answering it.

    SP - ground of being - time felt as resource, chronos.
    SX - dynamicmism of creative being - time felt as chrios.
    SO - articulated world, conscious of the great mandala and one's place in it, time as cycle.

    Social Blindspot/SO-Last: How do I be with others? Finding ourselves outside participation in life. New connections are a pain in the ass, visit or phone call not a possibility but a drain "what will this cost me?" Interaction seen in terms of exchange, like money. People and connections as burden. There is unconscious shame - defective, broken, emotionally retarded, don't know how to love.

    The key for social lasts is not that they have to create or pretend there's a connection, but to find the connections that are already there. The so-last will think it's up to them to make the social happen, so they won't do it at all, but that's the projection by so-lasts on the social sphere.

    3 Levels of development:
    - Unconscious - Collapsing into or mirroring group, denial of self, lack of self-initiation. Chronic reaction to group values.
    - Growing - i have something to contribute, what am i serving?
    - Illuminated - surrender to finding one's place in mandala.
    Last edited by silke; 04-30-2018 at 05:45 AM.

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    I have like 700 responses to that post but
    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    SX - dynamicmism of creative being - time felt as chrios.
    I'm gonna need a definition of this because Google yields a bunch of bible jabber

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    I think I'm an So/Sx with a developed Self-Pres instinct, although it sometimes feels like the other way around.

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    This (partly) reaffirms the stacking I determined for myself ages ago but then forgot how qualified it was - it's difficult for me to see myself as Sx first or even second (although if I'm an enneagram 9, that may affect things).

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    Good stuff. I like how they explain the one-to-one of each instinct. I think people thinking they value "one-to-one" and assuming that makes them sexual is the cause of a lot of mistypings.
    Russ said about 50 percent of people who think they're sexual aren't sx in most cases, but are misunderstanding the two instincts, which is often not their fault but the fault of poor information.
    It was mentioned that many people who thought they were soc-last, later find out they are soc-middle or soc-first once they actually understand the instinct. Social instinct is not about "liking to be in groups" or liking to socialize.
    Yeah, this makes sense and I noticed this tendency for others to type themselves as social last and sx first especially when they first get into the instincts. There's this focus of sx being about sexiness, relationships and one-to-one and social being about wanting to be popular, being outgoing, sociable, liking groups, etc.

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    "about 50 percent of people who think they're sexual aren't sx in most cases"


    you can find such examples on this forum, if you scan threads. There are people whose pics are well known (and obviously look like Sx last) who type as SLE, LSE, LIE or whatever Sx/so. I don't wanna be mean and give names.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rosewood View Post
    There are people whose pics are well known (and obviously look like Sx last)
    Is it really all that obvious though? I'd like to get your impression of what Sx-last (or first for that matter) looks like. I have my own composites and impressions, but they're kind of outdated and need to be revised.

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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    ~ awareness of "kairos" time - sense of it being the right time for something in a qualitative sense
    I never took the time to look this up, but I like the shit out of it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Galen View Post
    Is it really all that obvious though? I'd like to get your impression of what Sx-last (or first for that matter) looks like. I have my own composites and impressions, but they're kind of outdated and need to be revised.
    if you're curious, I'll take my time for some examples as soon as I can. Though I agree with many of your composites (expression-wise or through the energy they project).

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    Quote Originally Posted by rosewood View Post
    if you're curious, I'll take my time for some examples as soon as I can. Though I agree with many of your composites (expression-wise or through the energy they project).
    I'm just interested in gauging other people's legitimate reactions to the instincts, and seeing if there's any real quantitative basis for those reactions. You don't have to make any extensive lists if it's too much work.

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    Nice article!

    Looks like i'm So/Sp
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    Nice article!

    Looks like i'm So/Sp
    doubt it

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    sx first can be exhausting.

    "When I ought to be thinking of heaven he will nail me to earth"

     




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    Quote Originally Posted by rosewood View Post
    doubt it
    Break down this Analysis, Rose.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    Break down this Analysis, Rose.
    you seem sx/so as vibe, your behavior is kind of aggressive and stuff. I don't have time for a more minute analysis now.

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