Chapter 1: Meet Gummibearz

It was a lively, happenin' night at the gay bar in Los Angeles, California. All the conceited California-ites were out in their costumes, partying it up, having sophisticated and deep conversations. Talking about how much more open-minded and better they were than people from other states etc.

Gummibearz oozed in the scene, dancing between all the bears and twinks. Gummi was a thin effeminate gay man with curly brown hair. "Hey jeff do you have my fucking meth man" Gummi said to a tall man with a spiked blonde mohawk. The man had on levi blue jeans and a black leather harness.

"Do you have my cash?" Jeff said.

"We all know that it isn't money you're after" Gummibearz said, smiling.

Gummi was actually grossed out, but he let the man fist him in the bathroom stall for some drugs.

Afterwards, Gummi sat on the bathroom counter, crossed his legs and sighed. He'd do the meth later, now he was happy with just a regular cigarette. "Ah this is the life you know... getting high as possible, looking out for number 1...." A shy, sensitive gay boy came into the bathroom. Suddenly and shockingly, Gummi threw a fireball at him and the poor boy evaporated into ashes.

"...Killing people who annoy you" he said bluntly. He sighed and blew some smoke out of his nostrils.

Demiya (special thanks to 16types adventurer Steve for that name. Yeah the same Steve from the first novel!), a young African american woman who was also Gummibearz's lead minion, had listened to Gummi and smiled. "You are so cool" she said. "Killing who you want to. You just TOTALLY do your own thing like the cool California person that you are!"

"The cops can only do so much, and they all can be tricked to let you go if you talk to 'em right."

"You mean you actually have street smarts unlike that ****** from the midwest?" Demiya said.

"You mean Sam? That dweeb we met on the internet the other night. Yeah he's so sheltered... so naive from the pain of the world."

"The pain that you cause...." Demiya said.

"Touche" Gummi said. He then randomly started to talk about how he was good at math. An effeminate, evil sociopathic gay man who liked math and meth. It takes all kinds in this world, you know.

"Arggh but why am I thinking about him. Why even acknowledge his existence. Why is he getting under my skin?" Gummibearz facepalmed himself.

"Maybe you're in love with him?" Demiya said. "You're both gay and all..."

"Yeah as if it's that's simple you nitwit" Gummibearz said. "Minions! God!"

"I guess you're both like... well you both like the tv show Charmed! That has to count for something."

"That ****** knows I would destroy him if he ever set foot on my turf" Gummibearz seethed.

"But you don't want to kill him that's the thing. You want to *torture* him. You want to cause him so much pain. Because he's an Angel. Mostly, anyway. He sees through people like us. He's a person that can stop us... that can protect people like the person you just killed in the bathroom. He isn't a 'cool guy.' He's a loser. A goody two shoes."

At this point both Gummi and Demiya shivered instinctively with disgust.

"Aww i love dolphin look at me I'm so helpless and cute hahaha!" Gummi pouted sociopathically, mocking Sam. They high fived each other and laughed.

"So how are we gonna do it? Inflict pain on Sam?" Demiya asked. She was wearing a faded yellow t-shirt and black leather pants.

"How do you hurt any Whitelighter?" Gummi said. "You go after the people he cares most about. The person he cares most about."

Both Gummibearz and Demiya smiled at each other evilly.

"Dolphin...." they said in unision.

A beat.

"Well get to it then... " Gummi said.

"What? I'm just a minion. Dolphin is a high class, grade A adventurer. I don't have any hope of defeating her myself..."

"You want to move up in the Underworld don't you?" Gummibearz said. "Here's your chance. And you don't have to kill her. We're not going to kill her. We're going to kidnap her... torture her, and then send Sam the pictures on his front door step. KYAHAHAHAHAHHAA."

Demiya nodded. She then teleported out in a burst of flames.