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Thread: NEW ADVENTURES STORY!!!

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    Default NEW ADVENTURES STORY!!!

    Chapter 1: Meet Gummibearz

    It was a lively, happenin' night at the gay bar in Los Angeles, California. All the conceited California-ites were out in their costumes, partying it up, having sophisticated and deep conversations. Talking about how much more open-minded and better they were than people from other states etc.

    Gummibearz oozed in the scene, dancing between all the bears and twinks. Gummi was a thin effeminate gay man with curly brown hair. "Hey jeff do you have my fucking meth man" Gummi said to a tall man with a spiked blonde mohawk. The man had on levi blue jeans and a black leather harness.

    "Do you have my cash?" Jeff said.

    "We all know that it isn't money you're after" Gummibearz said, smiling.

    Gummi was actually grossed out, but he let the man fist him in the bathroom stall for some drugs.

    Afterwards, Gummi sat on the bathroom counter, crossed his legs and sighed. He'd do the meth later, now he was happy with just a regular cigarette. "Ah this is the life you know... getting high as possible, looking out for number 1...." A shy, sensitive gay boy came into the bathroom. Suddenly and shockingly, Gummi threw a fireball at him and the poor boy evaporated into ashes.

    "...Killing people who annoy you" he said bluntly. He sighed and blew some smoke out of his nostrils.

    Demiya (special thanks to 16types adventurer Steve for that name. Yeah the same Steve from the first novel!), a young African american woman who was also Gummibearz's lead minion, had listened to Gummi and smiled. "You are so cool" she said. "Killing who you want to. You just TOTALLY do your own thing like the cool California person that you are!"

    "The cops can only do so much, and they all can be tricked to let you go if you talk to 'em right."

    "You mean you actually have street smarts unlike that ****** from the midwest?" Demiya said.

    "You mean Sam? That dweeb we met on the internet the other night. Yeah he's so sheltered... so naive from the pain of the world."

    "The pain that you cause...." Demiya said.

    "Touche" Gummi said. He then randomly started to talk about how he was good at math. An effeminate, evil sociopathic gay man who liked math and meth. It takes all kinds in this world, you know.

    "Arggh but why am I thinking about him. Why even acknowledge his existence. Why is he getting under my skin?" Gummibearz facepalmed himself.

    "Maybe you're in love with him?" Demiya said. "You're both gay and all..."

    "Yeah as if it's that's simple you nitwit" Gummibearz said. "Minions! God!"

    "I guess you're both like... well you both like the tv show Charmed! That has to count for something."

    "That ****** knows I would destroy him if he ever set foot on my turf" Gummibearz seethed.

    "But you don't want to kill him that's the thing. You want to *torture* him. You want to cause him so much pain. Because he's an Angel. Mostly, anyway. He sees through people like us. He's a person that can stop us... that can protect people like the person you just killed in the bathroom. He isn't a 'cool guy.' He's a loser. A goody two shoes."

    At this point both Gummi and Demiya shivered instinctively with disgust.

    "Aww i love dolphin look at me I'm so helpless and cute hahaha!" Gummi pouted sociopathically, mocking Sam. They high fived each other and laughed.

    "So how are we gonna do it? Inflict pain on Sam?" Demiya asked. She was wearing a faded yellow t-shirt and black leather pants.

    "How do you hurt any Whitelighter?" Gummi said. "You go after the people he cares most about. The person he cares most about."

    Both Gummibearz and Demiya smiled at each other evilly.

    "Dolphin...." they said in unision.

    A beat.

    "Well get to it then... " Gummi said.

    "What? I'm just a minion. Dolphin is a high class, grade A adventurer. I don't have any hope of defeating her myself..."

    "You want to move up in the Underworld don't you?" Gummibearz said. "Here's your chance. And you don't have to kill her. We're not going to kill her. We're going to kidnap her... torture her, and then send Sam the pictures on his front door step. KYAHAHAHAHAHHAA."

    Demiya nodded. She then teleported out in a burst of flames.

  2. #2
    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Dude I live in Cali now so you HAVE to use me

    ^_^
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Chapter 2: Dolphin, Dolphin, Dolphin

    Dolphin hadn't talked to Sam in awhlie, and she missed him. However she knew that as evil as Oprah was, she kinda had a point. We all had to be independent in life. We had to... see things out for ourselves, see the world beyond love and glomps and hugs and puppy rainbow dog kisses. We had to... test ourselves.

    It's what our friends really want for us, anyway.

    However, Dolphin couldn't help but care about people. She was a Mary Sue, the star of the series. She had so many people that wanted to be her facebook friend, that apologized to her shamefully if they did the slightest harm. The cute shy girl from a small town, the one who wanted to be a ballerina, Dolphin, ever the human... walked the streets of her college campus, smiling at the passersby.

    "If only they knew I'm also a demon fighter. Would they like me more or less?" she thought. She grinned through the fake smiles. She thought about being bitchy sometimes at the people, but held it in. She sighed and went past through her many fans. Even signed a few autographs. "You know guys I'm not all that great!" Dolphin said in the cutest squeakiest voice ever. "I get vain sometimes. All I want is positive attention. And sometimes I will defend sociopaths and demons thinking they can change with my straight female empathy; but it's actually Sam who is the hero."

    "Yeah but we don't like him quite as much as we like you" a random suburban soccer mom said from the audience. "He gets a bit too haughty and judgemental or something...."

    Dolphin smiled. "Sam is wonderful, and so are you. I just..."

    "OH MY GOD DOLPHIN SAID I WAS WONDERFUL!" the fan girl said, shrieking.

    Dolphin laughed. "You know, it might mean more to Sam if you treated him this way. I know he has the social skills of a gnat but you can't say his heart is in the wrong place..." she said.

    "FUCK SAM, DOLPHIN IS HERE!" The crowd kept cheering, Dolphin kept grinning sheepishly.

    wookie suddenly put her arm around Dolphin. She led her friend away from the crowd of fanboys for awhile, knowing that she needed a break. "It feels good to be liked, right?" She saw Dolphin's mixed expression on her face. "Sort of at least..."

    "Yeah I'm often the queen of the gay pride parade" Dolphin said. "You think Fen is jealous?"

    "Horribly so...." wookie said with a wink.

    "I feel guilty" Dolphin said. She could never not be loveable.

    "Yeah how can we make it up to her?" wookie said all compassinate lesbian-like.

    Demiya was stalking Dolphin from behind a tree, watching her every move. This time Demiya was wearing a black leather jacket and a hot pink mini-skirt. "Jesus Christ, does this bitch EVER detach herself from other people?" Demiya glared. "Fucking empathy... I just need to get her alone so I can go for the attack..."

    "I'll think of something. Maybe" Dolphin said. "It's hard to influence people's emotions but I'm good at it. I'm good at A LOT of things. If I just work hard and try!" She slapped herself, realizing she was sounding like an Oprah manual. "Haha er...." Dolphin and wookie looked at each other and smiled.

    "Well I have to use the little girl's room now..." Dolphin said, excusing herself. She walked in a secluded part of campus, in an outdoor bathroom thingie that didn't have any witnesses.

    Demiya grinned. It was the perfect place.

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    Chapter 3: Demiya Vs. Dolphin

    Dolphin sung the theme to Sailor Moon while checking her make-up. She gasped as she saw Demiya standing behind her in the mirror. "Oh...uh... hi" she said.

    "Don't need to get all racist or anything...." Demiya said.

    "I'm not. Are you? NO. I love black people! I- I'm so sorry."

    Demiya then laughed in Dolphin's face. "You actually thought I was upset about being black? That's hilarious. You goody goody types are so fun to fuck with. I just want to bake you all in my oven."

    Dolphin sighed. She felt one of Demiya's daggers brush across her face. "You're an evil narcisisstic demon, aren't you?"

    Demiya suddenly uppercutted Dolphin in her face.

    "Yeah. Kinda am."

    Dolphin staggered back, holding the blood from her nose. "What the fuck -whoah. YOU PUNCHED ME. Why the fuck... did you actually seriously punch me... I'm so cute!"

    "That's the point. I'm *evil*. I don't care how cute and innocent somebody is being. I'm going to hurt them anywaaaaay." She sounded like that annoying fat black woman from the cereal commercial.

    Dolphin didn't want to believe anything was this campishly simple, but knowing what sort of hero-worshippy stuff she got involved with, she realized that sometimes it actually was this bloody simple. Besides, even if Demiya could be redeemed, what she was doing wasn't right and God if Dolphin was just going to let herself get killed.

    Being a Water Mage, Dolphin conjured some Water Bolts and pushed Demiya back with it. But it wasn't very effective..

    "LoL you cast water spells. How weak." Demiya clapped her hands together and conjured real Flames from her palms. "I use Fire. I'm a Fire mage class. Just like my boss Gu-" Damnit. She wasn't supposed to tell Dolphin this much! Fucking MINIONS!!

    Dolphin glared. "Yeah well bitch, I can use fire too." Dolphin flung a Fireball from her fingertips, but Demiya levitated and kicked Dolphin's face. Why wasn't Demiya weak against Water when she was so Fiery herself? Dolphin started to worry a little bit.

    "Most Fire Mages are poor in melee combat. But I've spent many years correcting that weakness..."

    "And yet nobody seems to care. Imagine that!" Dolphin quipped bitchily. She cast Water Jet on herself, dodging an incoming blow. (For newbies: Water Jet is a signature Dolphin spell that allows her to cast a very fast stream of Water on herself or her friends. It helps avoid melee attacks.)

    "Most people think in types...." Demiya continued to speechify. The flames around the bathroom surrounded them both, closing both women in. Dolphin started to feel the heat on her face. "They think 'Oh I'm a Fire Mage so that means I'm weak against Water.' Or, 'I'm a Te-ego businessman so that means I'm weak against gay feeling. Tee hee hee.' Because you're all so human. You're pathetic. You think your weaknesses, your polrs, are oh-so-adorable. They are not. They only get you targeted by people like me."

    Dolphin gulped. She was scared, scared for real. She knew that this... bitch.. whoever she was, was tougher than her, at least one on one. Because she knew how competitive girls can be.

    And also how selfish.

    "What's in it for you?" Dolphin said. "Girl to girl, tell me. You're not working alone, I know it. You're too.. .girly. Too minony."

    "This isn't the time to be a smart little fairy" Demiya growled.

    "Hey someone has to be the smart one... " Dolphin said, insulting Demiya while throwing what she said about types back in her face.

    "Knowledge... you go to school for knowledge. How to be more empathetic, an even greater human...its all pointless stupid... weak. Especially when all the cool celebrities from California ignore college and just know the right people and become really rich and powerful without the sissy help of socialism. IT'S ABOUT POWER YOU SEE!" Demiya then stomped on the bathroom tiles, creating even more flames.

    Shit. If Dolphin didn't get out of here soon, she would die. "Actually we go to college to be boinked by hot frat boys. What is it with demons taking things so hyperseriously like?"

    "Ah. Nothing like heroes laughing in the face of real danger..."

    "I'm not going to die..." Dolphin said.

    Dolphin burst out huge gusts of water out of her petite 5 foot 2 frame and after awhile, she finally created a spot for her to wooze on through. Demiya leaped at Dolphin as she ran for her exit, so Dolphin cast Water jet on herself- but Demiya anticipated she would do that, so Demiya teleported where Dolphin Water jetted. Both girls teleportation spells collided, and Dolphin felt something sharp and painful pierce through her chest.

    One of Demiya's deadly diabloic daggers dunked in Dolphin's diaphragm.

    "Gotcha" Demiya said smiling. Dolphin felt real pain, but continued to gaze at Demiya self-confidently even as she lost blood and consciousness.

    "God, I really hate you, you know that?" The demon said as she cradled Dolphin's KO'ed body in her arms.

    And with that, Demiya teleported Dolphin and herself out of the girl's bathroom as she let all the flames destroy it.

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    ((okay that's it for me tonight. More chapters tomorrow/later!))

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    Arete GuavaDrunk's Avatar
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    ...Gummi. el o el
    Reason is a whore.

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    Dude I live in Cali now so you HAVE to use me
    Already planned on it before u even asked me. *love*

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Already planned on it before u even asked me. *love*


    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

  9. #9
    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    "I mean, I know he's a bottom, and that's fine and all, I'm a bottom too. But you know what? Too bottoms don't make a top"

    -- Gummibearz talking about B&D in tinychat
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

  10. #10
    Arete GuavaDrunk's Avatar
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    They do if you skin them and wear it.

    /BuffaloBill
    Reason is a whore.

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    Chapter 4: Give My Teeth A Break

    Wookie with her good lesbian super sight (she is a gunner class after all) was the first person to see the smoke coming out of the building.

    "Lesbians to the rescue!" she said. She ran over to the building, jumped over a bush, and saw the entire bathroom on fire. "Oh shit, uh FIRE!" she screamed. A bunch of hot firefighter men with their shirts off (Sean in a fire suit) came out and put the flames out.

    "Do you know how the fire was started?" Sean asked; tipping his yellow Firefighter helmet down in a welcoming way.

    "N-no." She then remembered Dolphin was using the bathroom. "I think somebody's in there!" she told Sean. Sean Dodged Rolled through the Flames (he can evade attacks well cuz he's a tank) and searched the bathroom. He came back out.

    "Nobody was in there ma'am" Sean said.

    "Hmm..." Wookie said.

    ***

    Our loveable hero Thammie was in bed today feeling sorry for himself. He had to go get his first cavity filled today. "I am an adventurer, I shouldn't have to deal with annoying real life things like this!" he said narcissistically, for which he knew that his obese entp friend would sarcastically say 'aw poor baby' and laugh at him.

    Love, as it turns out, is sometimes tough.

    Thammie (er Sam) walked out of his house and drove to the dentist office. He walked in the dentist office and signed the sign-in sheet. He thought about striking up a conversation with somebody, but decided it was too awkward. He then sat down, looked to his right and saw a SELF magazine with Demi Lovato on the cover. "Happiness is a choice" it said with Demi Lovato in a hot pink bathing suit.

    Now, Sam loved Demi Lovato and knew she was only half-demon and not a pure demon. (Which is forgivable) But he felt the comment was too Oprah-ish and patronizing. 'Who are you to tell other people what happiness is or isn't. Either emotionally connect to them or don't but don't act like you're better than anybody else!' he thought to himself angrily. He knew if he expressed this concern in real life he would either get made fun or other people would say he was playing the victim. But still, nobody could gaslight his own perception of things damnit.

    "I AM NOT PLAYING THE VICTIM" Sam suddenly screamed. "I just want people to STOP BEING STUCK UP CUNTS."

    It was then the nice dentists' assistant (who looked quite a bit like kassie/lungs) asked him to come back into the office.

    "Oh er... heh" He looked around the room with human shame.

    Sam sat down on the dentist chair. "How are you feeling?" the woman asked. "Um, nervous" Sam answered honestly. He saw real empathy in her face and he was relieved, but also felt a little guilty for answering honestly. Well he was tired of how fake people were , always saying 'alright' when somebody asked them how they are when in truth they aren't so okay.

    "The dentist will be with you shortly okaaay" she said, her tone both compassionate and condescending.

    Then in five minutes or so the dentist walked in (looked like a hot gay bear type) and asked Sam the same thing. "How are you bud?"

    "I'm alright" Sam asked, his voice becoming more mathculine and lower since he understood that males didn't really want to be bothered with emotional shit most of the time.

    'Doh! I'm such a hypocrite' Thammie thought to himself playfully.

    "So it looks like we just have to fix that filling" the dentist said. Sam didn't know what to say, so just submissively said "Yeah."

    Sam opened his mouth. While being drilled, he thought that korpsey should be into this profession as it would be a socially acceptable way to deal with his natural sadism.

    He closed his eyes, made a wish to Disney and poof...

    Used natural pure magic and it was revealed that the dentist really was korpsey and his assistance really was lungs.

    "Sadistic bad boys are soooo hot" lungs said.

    Sam rolled his eyes with that. "Bad, yes. Sadistic - no." Of course that was just his opinion but whatever.

    "What's the difference?" she asked.

    Sam didn't know what to say.

    "I hope I inflicted good pain on you, Liberache" Korpsey said, trying to hide his boner.

    "Don't worry babe, what you did wasn't gay because I was in the room" she winked at korpsey, reaffirming his heterosexuality.

    Korpsey sighed in relief.

    "Yes, I'm sure I will spend the entire evening throbbing with pain" Sam said, thinking that it probably wasn't healthy to allow what korpsey does bother you even though it's naturally annoying. "As a writer, I can naturally transform people into the ideal ways they should behave. I'm less self-loathing and insecure. Korpsey isn't such of an asshole. Dolphin is less..."

    Sam loved Dolphin too much to say anything bad about her.

    Gay Family matters audience: AWWWWWWW

    "... bitchy?" Kassie said in a small voice.

    "YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHAT I DO" Korpsey said angrily. He then suddenly stabbed Sam side in the abdomen. And ran out the door.

    That turned Kassie on, but because she Was Still A Female With Empathy(tm), she frowned empathically for Sam. She rushed to his aid.

    "It's okay, I'm a Shaman class. I can heal myself" Sam said. He touched the wound korpsey made and green sparkly lights jetted out of his fingertips.

    "K0rpsey is a rogue. A prickly sharp rogue class with daggers. I'm not sure he can help it..." Lungs looked down at how much pussy juice was on the floor from korpsey's attacks. "And looks like neither can I hehe" She blushed cutely.

    "Typical female making excuses for bad boys" Sam said. "It's okay, I don't care.... much. I just, need to go home. Have a nice day, lungs."

    Sam went back home, in pain but no more cavity, so the natural artistic bittersweet ness of life filled his nostrils. Smelled kinda like half-way rotten oranges. Nothing fully good, nothing fully bad. Just life.

    He heard his cell phone beep with a text message... it was from wookie.

    "Sam, something has gone terribly wrong. Dolphin has been kidnapped!"

    Sam frowned and looked out the window.

    No rest for a true hero like him, he would have to face the REAL WORLD(r) again to save Dolphin.

    But first, he needed to sleep....

    (end of chapter)

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