Two post differences

[Beautiful sky]

I'm curious if anyone would point out the differences in these two posts and compare and contrast them for me.

Since I live in the future and think about the detachment of the relationship due to death, I often relive various version of losing them in my mind on a random basis before the event actually takes place. This is a stress survival mechanism that I feel that EIIs are particularly keen to. Because we have such personal attachments to our relationships and certain levels of love is created between ourselves and people we love, especially our relatives, we need to come up with viable scenarios in our own minds of their passing and relive intense emotions before hand, so that when the actual event happens we won't be "shocked to death" ourselves. When I found out that my cousin had an aggressive form of cancer and that would take her life quickly, from that moment I lived in her shoes, experiencing the various stages of her struggle, pain and weakness, debilitation from the cancer. Yes, it's extremely stressful for me to do this. But, I'm not a Sensory type. I don't live in the here and now and because of this, I have a lot of trouble with living in the here and now and not thinking of her. It kills me. I cry a lot and I need a lot of comfort myself, but sometimes, I gather myself and say, "yes, this is stressful, but I have to not think of myself, I have to be there for her and her family. I just have to and that's the end of it."

Being there for people, comforting others with advice, and just an ear, helps me deal with people who pass. It shows compassion, humility, and empathy. I feel a deep sense of reward and accomplishment with my ability as a psychologist (helping people). So I do what I can.

Again quoting from a professor who I admired deeply for her courage, "you just put one foot in front of the other and move forward, what else can you do?"

I don't have a one-size-fits-all answer to this. I'm lucky in that I haven't lost a lot of people close to me (yet). It's one of my deeper fears, though.

You might have seen me post this before, but there's this quote that sticks in my head a bit, and kind of relates: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Caring about someone/something can hurt, especially when they get taken away or something bad happens to them (or even when they hurt us). But to me that pain is a sign that I'm a human with a soft heart, and I think that's good. So if it's a choice between experiencing pain versus having a hard heart, I'd choose the former, because at least then there's the chance for good to happen, too. Soft-hearted people can do some of the best good in the world.

How I try to deal with pain is to recognize and feel it first. Suppressing can help short-term, I guess, like if you have to get something done. But long-term I think it just causes more damage. But then there's the whole, "Well, what do I do?" question. Like how to move on. That's when I let my logical side back in, and my moral compass, etc., and try to do what makes sense, even if I'm still hurting. Doesn't always work, though, and it's not easy.

Anyway, this isn't so much advice as it is my own thoughts.

[Radio]

Minde is an unproblematic INFj. Die.

[Beautiful sky]

That doesn't help, Radio. I'm asking for an analysis. If you don't know how to offer that then don't offer your opinion.

[GuavaDrunk]

One of them is sane. I can tell you which one for 9.99$.

[FoxOnStilts]

lol no one likes playing your games, Maritsa.

[Beautiful sky]

Well, I'll keep it going until a serious person is willing to consider looking at this from an objective point of view.

[ashlesha]

[Beautiful sky]

It seems to me that both answers display a general sense of caring for people; caring is more frightening for Minde than myself. He is afraid to let her guard down and really feel for someone in the Fi way. She seems to care about people, but worries about what it will cost her. This worry stems from lack of trusting others in an open and accepting way. I believe that I am more openly trustful of others until given a reason not to be so I approach people wholesomely. In this regard I am the opposite, I ignore Fe, and care for others and take on the other people's problems so deeply and intensely that is is sometimes necessary for me to force myself to pull away, this is where empathy binds with love and the individual; we are both likely to get hurt, but I'm more likely to get hurt out of empathy.


You may recall from reading Wikisocion, that types that value Fe try not to be thin skinned as to avoid not getting hurt initially, while I'm thin skinned naturally and would require the protection from others from an outside source, a stronger, more care taking person than myself who is willing to “guard” me from those who are likely to take advantage of me from my willingness to help and empathy.

[Beautiful sky]

My analysis is what is meant by one favoring empathy while the other sympathy. I hope this is more clear and this is why I've coined the difference in both functions.

[mu4]

Marista, please stop this. You have in the past asked for people to not make threads about you, you should do the same as what you have requested from others.