Is this related to type? Reactivity

[Anna1921]

I was writing a journal entry but had the idea to put it here instead. I am wondering if reactivity (that's the best word I can think of in this moment) is type-related. I will explain.

Where I work, I meet with clients often. I prepare presentations, and my job is to give the information in a very and be very polished, professional. This morning I had a meeting , but I needed help from my boss because some software that did not work on Monday was supposed to be repaired by today, and I needed to access it with his help. Finally, he finished working with another person who was taking his time, and I asked my question. He told me that the technology was not ready, and I would have to skip the part of my presentation dealing with that. Not a big deal, but to me in the moment it was. I was impatient already because he was making me look bad in front of the client (who surely thought this is my fault) and because I have many other things on my mind that I am not happy about in this company where I am still new. This felt like the "just one more thing," and I was... not angry, but annoyed. And I showed it.

I get a flash of irritation and my face shows it. I know it is happening, and I see the other person is alarmed, but I don't stop it because I want them to feel it too. BUT at the same time I do not because I know it could mean that there is trouble later. Besides this, I get embarrassed at myself because of it. It feels like a lack of maturity because most of the time things like this are not a big deal or can be easily overcome. Like today, I gave the presentation and explained situation and improvised little bit, and the client was happy in a good mood, not upset with me (though disappointed, as I was), and she says she will call the company to complain so maybe they will fix it at last.

But I have a feeling of being ashamed of myself, as if I should learn to show my irritation. There is no need to start something that may hurt future interactions with my boss, and show myself as childish. It's not all his fault either, after all. But still I do, and this is just one example. I have been told I get very frightening in these moments.

Is this type related? Do Beta NFs do this, or things like this? Or maybe it is related to maturity not type. I look forward to you, please, giving me your insights.

[ashlesha]

-edit ahh i got embarassed and deleted lol, but i relate.-

in any case, not just a beta nf thing, to sort of answer your question.

[Anna1921]

@ Kassie, thanks for the response

Probably, it is a HUMAN thing and not type, but being new at socionics I had to ask.

Upon further reflection, I think it's common to most or all people to occasionally flare up. In fact I'm now interested to know if there are any people (or types) who do NOT do this from time to time.

It still bothers me in myself, but that's probable because I grew up watching my dad absolutely explode at things, and he was (still is) hated for it, so I get worried when I see anything like that in myself because maybe people will hate me too as a result. But this is neuroticism related, not type related, I think, haha.

[Galen]

I know this isn't socionics-related, but this seems relevant to what you're getting at:


http://www.fitzel.ca/enneagram/harmonics.html#react

People whose dominant Harmonic Style is the reactive style are emotionally reactive under stress. They tend to work themselves up when a problem happens and have a hard time containing their feelings. This emotional intensity allows them to feel the "realness" of the problem, even if it is a relatively small one. Venting their frustration allows them to move on to dealing with the issue. Wanting others to see the realness of the problem, they expect others to react emotionally. Such a reaction would confirm that others agree that indeed this is a big deal. If others don't respond in the way the Reactive Style types want, they may become even more frustrated and emotional.

[Beautiful sky]

But I have a feeling of being ashamed of myself, as if I should learn to show my irritation. There is no need to start something that may hurt future interactions with my boss, and show myself as childish. It's not all his fault either, after all. But still I do, and this is just one example. I have been told I get very frightening in these moments.

Are you ashamed of yourself because of what you did or what others feel about you?

[JWC3]

Absolutely. Socionics deals with the sending, receiving and interpretation of information. So you feeling the need to have others empathize with the way you feel is certainly type related. I don't know in what way specifically or what types would react in the same way. But I can say with certainty that, from a socionics stand point, this is relevant information, I just don't know in what way.