Disclaimer: I don't use the term 'narcissism' to be an insult or 'empathy' as a compliment, just to illustrate the point of narcissistic functions vs. empathetic functions.
There are 4 narcissistic functions. They are: Ni, Te, Ne and Ti.
And likewise there are 4 functions of empathy. They are Fi, Fe, Si & Se.
I think that a narcissistic polr hurts your chance of personal success, whereas an empathetic polr hurts your interpersonal relationships.
So quite crudely, when people tell a person with a narcissistic polr that they need to toughen up and just be more selfish, it actually does have a lot of truth to it. It's just not usually all that socially wise to be that direct with people. When people morally chastise somebody with an empathetic polr.... that has a lot of truth to it as well, but you probably really have to do it in a way that they could take, be a person in their same quadra, emotionally close to them already, and a lot of other factors.
Notice how in dual pairs, the leading function of one is narc and the other its empath.