Mother: That's why nobody likes me! I make jokes I think are hilarious and no one thinks they're hilarious! Whenever they handed out charm I didn't get any. Not like you, my children, you've all got it. *looks at my sister in the rear view mirror* For the most part.
Sister: It's because you don't have any empathy.
Mother: What's empathy?
Sister: It means you put yourself in other people's shoes. Like if someone hits their finger hammering a nail, you say "Ouuuuuch!" with them and try to make them feel better.
Mother: Oh, I don't have that. My response would be to laugh!
Sister: That's why people don't like you. You've got some kind of opposite of empathy. It's like...there's got to be a word for it.
Sister: *laughing* Yeah! I like that word.
Mother: You're right! I'm an antipath. I try to do what you're saying, but everyone can tell I'm faking. I say, "Oh, I know exactly how you're feeling". They can see right through me! I'd like to be a better person. Everytime I try to think nice thoughts though it only lasts a few minutes.
Sister: Well, you just have to keep thinking them. Practice and try to think nice thoughts longer each time.
Moi: I don't know, mom. You're a nice person. You've kind of got a mean sense of humor sometimes, but you also say what you mean. If you try to be too nice, you wind up not saying much at all. Some people take things too seriously and get mad at just about anything. Those are the people you put the kid gloves on for. The fun people are the ones that can handle your kind of crazy.
Mother: And that's why you're my favorite son. If I win the lottery I'll give you $500 to do whatever you want with!