a situation

[Marietta]

once upon a time I was working in a recruitment agency sending people to work abroad. one of the candidates sent to work quit after one day, came back to the country and wrote a lot of bad opinions about our company on 2 internet forums, which made us loose some potential candidates who reffered to her posts during the job interview and decided not to cooperate with us. some of the things she wrote were completely untrue, some of them were an exagerration of sth that was really there (I went there myself to check if the complaints were true. I could see if the living conditions in the apartment provided by the company were ok or not, etc).

Anyway, after my visit my manager told me to call her and talk about her complaints and her forum activity. I called and told her that I was there and saw that the things she complained about were not really as she described.

then my manager took the phone and started talking to the girl. she told her that she feels really hurt and disappointed about the way the girl treated us, that she put so much effort in providing the best for her and that she is really sad about what the girl wrote. she also asked her to think about it and take it back on the internet forum (I don't think it was possible to simply delete or edit it on those forums.)

I was listening to it and I was a bit surprised about the way she talked to her. I wouldnt naturally do it that way - I would feel kind of pathetic and naive. it seemed natural for her though, manipulative and sincere at the same time.

any ideas how to interpret this in terms of valued and unvalued IE's ? Can you relate?

[golden]

I might handle it somewhat like this--maybe not precisely, but yeah, it could happen. It would depend on the person I was dealing with and would just arise naturally in response to them. If it were wholly calculated, I doubt it would have any potential to work.

To try to take it out of the instinctual and into the general principle:

Seems to me that when someone is upset in a showy way, what they're sometimes seeking is acknowledgement of their feelings, their point of view, their experience, whatever. Validation. It can neutralize the person if she is expecting opposition or argument. I won't say it always works, but it often does.

This is why I've often gotten roped into handling troublemakers in various work environments. (Also, I know how to MAKE trouble, so maybe that helps somehow. Mind of the criminal and all.)

This could be Fe, but maybe it could also be Fi? Yet I don't assume you have to be a feeling type to approach a matter in this way.

So what was the outcome after this conversation with the woman? Same as before?

[Korpsy Knievel]

I've often gotten roped into handling troublemakers in various work environments. (Also, I know how to MAKE trouble, so maybe that helps somehow. Mind of the criminal and all.)

'If you wish to find criminals, look for the police.'

[golden]

'If you wish to find criminals, look for the police.'

'Zactly.

[EyeSeeCold]

'If you wish to find criminals, look for the police.'

Because they'll offer to give you a tour of a precinct?