IEIs and poor social skills: can INFps be socially awkward/challenged?

[Aylen]

My social skills were taught to me at an early age by various adults in my life so I know how to act in most situations. I don't think I come off socially awkward but I have anxiety around new people and it only tends to fade once I make some kind of personal connection that breaks the ice. Like Fay I am also kind of hyper aware of the energy around me which will set the tone for how I behave. Sometimes I am really shy when forced into a new situation and I wait for someone to include me. I am bad at speaking up first and I really panic when I am put in a position where I have to talk about myself around people I don't know. Like when I was taking classes.

Even if I have to interact with a group for extended periods of time, I tend to keep my distance from most people in situations I am forced into. It is strange to me how close these people get in a short period and start adding each other on fb or hanging out one on one. IRL many people give me contact information so we can stay in touch but I don't want to form any close bonds since I know once I get through whatever brought us together that I probably will not keep contact.

Edit: Around people I know well, I am kind of the center of attention and feel fine with it. They are good about letting me slip out of the room when I have had enough.

[Pole]

I see IEIs as having better social skills that me, as an LSI. I come off as high functioning autistic. My Fe roomate tries to help me smooth out my rough edges, as far as dealing with the landlord because I say what I'm thinking with no concern how I come off. I open my mouth thinking I'm going to straighten out matters but people think I'm biting their heads off.... but they crossed my boundaries! My roommate has a way of explaining things to me without setting off alarms in my head like when people talk down on me and make me feel stupid and incompetent. So, I say Fe ego types have more social grace than I do, even SLEs have more grace than me.

[Singu]

Obviously any type can be socially awkward... but it's interesting that IEIs have such strong Fe but can still be awkward. Extraverted T types have difficulty understanding social situations, but they "fake it until they make it". SEIs can also be somewhat awkward, not not as much as IEIs.

I know all and everything about social norms and rules and what is appropriate and how to respond appropriately and what the others are feeling and such. Yet I still don't know how to "get out of myself". I guess it's the Ni.

[New Chapter]

Before puberty, I was pretty introverted and had a "Me Against The World” attitude.
During adolescence I wanted to be social and empathetic – unfortunately I was pretty bad in this plus annoying. So that I learned to be shy and silent. I assume that my Fi developed very well at that time because of the social adoptions.
In fact, I couldn't understand that my classmates weren't that tolerant and devoted as me. For me, these were self-evident values.

Nevertheless, I was really interested in understanding other people and society and tried to learn the patterns of what is social appropriate.
That means I tried through trial and error how people perceived my jokes or opinions. This method works for me, I would say that I’m more socially skilled than the average and I’m quite sure that I’ll be really good in the next few years.

But I’ve to admit that a lot have changed. Especially, the people who surround me – they kinda have grown up either – most of my peers are quite tolerant. But I believe this resulted because of the “P.C. era” rather than through independent self-improvement.

[Stellafera]

"With strangers INFps behave gallantly and tactfully, showing good manners and education. However among friends and family they can be very up front sometimes behaving frivolously. They enjoy baiting others in a playful manner in order to create an easy and tension-free atmosphere. At home INFps can be very frivolous and capricious, showing great stubbornness in getting what they want, sometimes creating dramas and scenes. These emotional outbursts are usually short and disappear without consequences. Generally they have very flexible emotions which they control consciously."

This holds 100% true for me.

Likewise. There tends to be a stark difference in my behavior when I'm interacting with them in some sort of otherwise public context and when I first hang out with them alone. I'm wayyyy goofier and like to play around with my behavior for the sake of a joke. I especially enjoy removing the filter on my inner idiot (I'm talking "how can we see ourselves in a mirror when we don't have eyes" kinds of dumb) for this purpose. I think with strangers or groups I get nervous because my sense of humor might not go over well, whereas when I'm hanging out with someone solo, I only have to appeal to one person's sensibilities and that gives me a lot more leverage.

[Squirrel]

It's ordinary for IEI with underdeveloped Fe creative

But their demonstrative function is still around though

[rizz]

They are weak and shy, but some can be really "strong" communicators.

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

i believe most IEIs are "socially challenged" whatever that means. bc people take things the wrong way, and they'd rather believe lies. most if not all IEIs prolly manipulate most ppl in their lives its just what u have to do. i swear some ppl u have to pretend ot be their friend then they act betrayed. and if u dont betray them u have to make ur life about pleasing them. then they barely get what u are saying if its the truth so i have to think about ways to tell it to them in a way that they understand but if i dont want to talk to them and explain everything its my fault. and if i ask them to explain anything its my fault that i dont get it. so i have to make a mental model of them, of their thought process, and of how to deal with them/how can i naviagate the intearctions and relation and then how to do it in a way that i can explain some things, and i have to be patient with someone who is so self absorbed, emotionally and mentally spastic. ofc that would be draining and not worth it. a lot of people are not worth it. most are more interested in creating social problems and acting like they are superior bc u didnt respond in the way they wanted to.

[Beautiful sky]

They are weak and shy, but some can be really "strong" communicators.

Are we talking a about physically or mentally

[rizz]

Are we talking a about physically or mentally

Socially.

[rizz]

I mean socially they look weak and shy, but they can use manipulation to achieve their silly goals.

[pixie dreams]

They usually know the right words and the right time to speak them. It's more so of a "quiet" sense of power - they may not be, physically strong or wealthy so to speak, but they could in theory win the favor of those who are. Idk that's my interpretation

[rizz]

They can do the things I can't.

[mikemex]

They are closet despots. Give them some power and will attempt to rule the world with an iron fist.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Weak and shy but have telekinesis power. IEIs are like Carrie White to me, I guess. EIIs are the social workers that try to help Carrie Whites, but get TK'd instead. The IEEs are like the counselor that pretended to be nice but laughed at Carrie when the bullies spilled the pig's blood on her. Except for nice and cool IEEs like @Kim <3. What I thought was interesting is it was made ambivalent whether or not the counselor laughed at her or not. She could have been so hurt and crazy she imagined the entire thing- I thought in the original version it wasn't clear either way, but the idea of shrinks/therapists being mean and cruel is funny to me.

Can be real TK or a metaphor for TK, like being easily promoted at work because authorities and umbridges/Karens think ur responsible and caring just because ur weak, shy and insightful but secretly u just want a SLE or SEE to throat fuck u and spit on u all day.

Aramas said once (who is also superior to everybody else because he's a gay male, like me) that realistically speaking IEIs make the best spies. I think that sounds about right. The ability to manipuliate and play both sides, because people just think ur a weak & harmless victim but u really have telekinsis abilities etc. That is probably what genuinely pisses of Ni-polr LSE about IEIs I guess. They see our power and it victimizes them (and they can't fully understand it cuz its their polr), so they need us to be offenders and them reverse victims.

Socionics kinda sucks and there's still a good chance I'm EII or SEI instead though.

[Renna]

Weak and shy but have telekinesis power.

Socionics kinda sucks and there's still a good chance I'm EII or SEI instead though.

More like Beta NF with Alpha Fe style to me. No Delta though

Telekinesis power = mind control magic? Or fortune telling?

[Bethanyclaire]

Weak and shy but have telekinesis power.

My prediction of end result to relationship with mean LSE boss....I will end up being 'timid' around him, (like I was before he tried to become my bud), and that timidity will serve as a reminder that he is mean..also I don't have to work with him directly so it doesn't matter to me.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

My prediction of end result to relationship with mean LSE boss....I will end up being 'timid' around him, (like I was before he tried to become my bud), and that timidity will serve as a reminder that he is mean..also I don't have to work with him directly so it doesn't matter to me.

Even if u were not timid u would still be timid *to them* probably cuz of the 1D Te and Se vs their 4D Te & Se. They would still think it was never good enough- but I think some LSEs have pissed me off so much I wanted to physically fight them. I'm still a man and I still have more testosterone than u though even if we're supposedly both IEIs.

Ime, I come off as a lot 'weaker' but I also easily manipulate them because of their bad Ni. They just think I'm an EII if I want them to think that. That's a big reason of what people mean when they say typology is "larping." (live action roleplaying)

[Bethanyclaire]

Even if u were not timid u would still be timid *to them* probably cuz of the 1D Te and Se vs their 4D Te & Se. They would still think it was never good enough- but I think some LSEs have pissed me off so much I wanted to physically fight them. I'm still a man and I still have more testosterone than u though even if we're supposedly both IEIs.

Ime, I come off as a lot 'weaker' but I also easily manipulate them because of their bad Ni. They just think I'm an EII if I want them to think that. That's a big reason of what people mean when they say typology is "larping." (live action roleplaying)

well yday I was worried that I would be too angry/hurt..to be able to work with him. But today (in cold light of morning) I think it was good I stood up to him..(obviously there was backlash) and it's ok if timidity isn't good enough for him, as long as I don't have to feel like he is controlling me.

I wouldn't say I'm necessarily timid around other LSE- maybe more cautious, but my initial instinct around this one was...he's bad...be shy...I suppose a bit EII ish . Thing is he knows I don't like him...so it will maybe feel a bit weird for him. Anyway maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself, but the telekinesis thing made me think about how my instincts were right about him.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

well yday I was worried that I would be too angry/hurt..to be able to work with him. But today (in cold light of morning) I think it was good I stood up to him..(obviously there was backlash) and it's ok if timidity isn't good enough for him, as long as I don't have to feel like he is controlling me.

I wouldn't say I'm necessarily timid around other LSE- maybe more cautious, but my initial instinct around this one was...he's bad...be shy...I suppose a bit EII ish . Thing is he knows I don't like him...so it will maybe feel a bit weird for him. Anyway maybe I shouldn't get ahead of myself, but the telekinesis thing made me think about how my instincts were right about him.

Well if he is LSE, he is probably trying to control and micro-manage u but I think its freeing to think it isn't about you - he's doing that to pretty much everybody & everything else. So it's dumb to take it personally. As long as I'm being static and nice and passive and lying in my bed not imposing my will enough, other people are naturally gonna try to use me as a tool for their own purposes- and I think some IEIs get pissed about that. But it won't change unless we change, u do kinda have to unnggh and grrr and rawwwr sometimes. I don't know. Easier said than done, I mean I get tired out easily cuz I have languish Ixxp energy too probably lol.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

that cheesy pop song gives me Se. <3

[Bethanyclaire]

@NarcOprahGayStr8 I shazamed it lol. My dad actually is a good guy- which I why I can tell when a man is a mean man lol

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

@NarcOprahGayStr8 I shazamed it lol. My dad actually is a good guy- which I why I can tell when a man is a mean man lol

My dad was nice and caring too. <3 I can kinda tell when most people are being jerks, regardless of their gender. Not that I think it's some mystical superpower lol it's just a mixture of affective & cognitive empathy.

[Beautiful sky]

An INFP coworker has a bad attitude and comes at people the wrong way