Anyway, from the enneablag collections:
Sexual Nines
Sexual Nines seek a sense of well-being by finding something or someone to merge with. They want to be at one with the world, with beauty, with nature, but especially with a special, ideal lover. That being said, Sexual Nines have many anxieties about losing themselves by submerging their identity in the other. Thus, they can sometimes appear ambivalent and emotionally conflicted, like Fours or Sixes. They sometimes attempt to "solve" the inner conflict between their desire for merging and their desire for independence by "triangulation." They engage in two separate, simultaneous relationships that serve different needs while never completely showing up in either. Needless to say, this can create the kinds of conflicts that Nines are trying to avoid.
The overall affect of Sexual Nines is one of gentleness, ease, and flow, and they seek these qualities in others and in the environment. They also tend to be highly sensual, enjoying tastes, textures, and sensations. Although they resemble Fours in this regard, being ethereal and dreamy, their sensuality is earthy and embodied, and they are not as self-aware or self-doubting as Fours. Sexual Nines tend to be more imaginative than the other Variants—often with elements of gentle whimsy and heroic fantasy. They see the world in magical terms, investing even ordinary objects with a warm glow. They seem to take in the world with a wide-eyed wonder and have a characteristic child-like aura about them.
Focused on an ideal of romantic union. Get lost in one relationship or in the yearning to have one. High expectations of partner. Sometimes sound melancholy like a Four. Prone to jealousy. May settle on someone and then grow critical and have a wandering eye. Can also deny their partner's flaws and idealize them to stay in union. Another scenario involves multiple relationships, searching from one person to the next. Sometimes the Nine can't decide between two people. Triangulation. Paradoxically, this subtype can be fickle because they are so easily disappointed.
Some thoughts on this:
If I want to merge with someone (which I don't so much now, but that could be the anti-rebound talking), it's more as another way of feeding my imagination and pandering to my nostalgia over how good all the dreamlike parts of being in love are. That said, I definitely do habitually (and willfully, heh), let myself get lost in nature, beauty, and magical sensations. Every now and then when I need a break I'll go out at night with iPod with special songs that colour everything really wonderfully, like I'm walking through a lucid dream or something. Or I revisit imaginary scenes and try and refine them and flesh them out, maybe write poems about them. My mind's eye is a really talented landscape artist
A lot of what I do is developing the emotional colour of my inner world.
A lot of my life up until now
has been feeling keenly a lack of a significant other, and more importantly, the lack of
romance that leads to. In my last relationship (due to some unfortunate, secret, and highly unspecified realities that do not plague normal relationships), I'd get really really jealous because I didn't want to "lose" her after being so close to "securing" her (which I never achieved; eventually I guess I just helped move things along to us both parting ways, because I just didn't have the superhuman strength required to walk off on my own). That said, and I guess this is a major point for sp/sx, the hardest thing with that relationship for me was how unstable and uncertain it was. That had me completely overwraught and screwed up.
I need safe people.
OTOH, large chunks of the self-pres descriptions read like someone was stalking me and taking notes, heh.
Self-Preservation Nines are perhaps the most easygoing Nines, but they are also the most likely to need time alone, untroubled by other people's influence and requirements. They seek a sense of well-being through comfort: familiar routines, "comfort foods," and a supportive, uncomplicated environment are all highly valued. Self-Pres Nines have their own way of doing things, their own pace, and their own philosophy of life, and they will stubbornly resist any effort to change any of these things. Self-Pres Nines are also people of few words, preferring to communicate in nonverbal ways. They often pretend to be less savvy and aware than they actually are, as if tempting other people to underestimate them—so that they will be left alone. Positively, they are grounded and patient, possessing a great deal of common sense. They tend to have problems with overindulging themselves in food and drink, or conversely with rigorously controlling their diets—this is especially true of Self-Pres Nines with the One wing. They may also lack physical exercise. In any case, having their routine and lifestyle change is very challenging for them.
Preoccupied with physical comfort, maintaining habits and satisfying appetites. The image of the lazy couch potato goes with this subtype. Strategy for getting along is to ask as little of life as possible. Can have a love of the minimal and enjoy the repetition of known routines. Distract themselves with pleasant domestic activities. Live conservatively. Consume food and drink for anaesthesia. May have large appetites, drug addictions, be physically slow moving.
Jegus Gog yes. This is actually seriously beautiful. I'm really, really controlling of who my friends are because I don't want a threatening or uncomfortable social environment, or people who pressure me or place expectations or demands on me. Only I make demands of me, that is my sole privilege!!!!!! I also have a hard time breaking away from my mind-numbing routines to focus on stuff, because it feels like I'm sticking myself out in uncertain waters where I might have to focus on things I don't want to. I'm very resistant to "waking up" because it's scary and seems like it'll invite a lot of emotional or psychological pain (or disequilibrium, I guess, in Ninespeak); ruin my nice cozy state of settleditude. I also have a pretty personalised (not personal, I'm still a Te user, I still have other people use my brain for me for the first few steps or twenty
) I can also be really instinctively stubborn when people try to change me... even though I can often put myself out there and ask "What do I need to do better?" I butted heads with my dad a lot over this because we both always thought we knew the best way of doing something
I always keep a cool head and an even pace in a crisis. Moment-to-moment stress is not a thing that I do, even if I'm really vulnerable to having big picture self-pres concerns like money gnawing away at me all the time (fear is nothing, you can always fight or flee from what you're afraid of; anxiety offers none of that, and is like being slowly eroded till you're vulnerable and can't defend yourself against a thing).
Where it says "Strategy for getting along is to ask as little of life as possible" is pretty funny, too. I think of myself as having a mutual non-aggression pact with life and other people. I ask only as much of you as I need to get along, and you do the same in turn. I get really, really snappy and cranky with people when they violate that.
Could I be sp/sx?
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Originally Posted by Ashton
