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Thread: IEIs and anger management

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    I dunno. I do blow my top on occasion when pushed. I think this is not type-related or maybe more enneagram related. I definitely try not to do anything that will have negative consequences cause, you know, it's kind of self-defeating. lol I was so crabby yesterday. I think it's lack of exercise though. The weather is getting to me too!
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    High Priestess glam's Avatar
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    i can relate. at my very very worst, i can get kind of violent. i am not proud of it.

  3. #3
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    I think this is not type-related or maybe more enneagram related.
    Possibly. I know the main things that make me lashy-outy sort of angry are repressive relationships where I've just eventually gotten so mad I've told myself "Screw it" and done things I know will hurt the relationship out of no longer giving a damn/wanting to draw attention to being unhappy + not knowing how in a calm and civil manner (because being calm and civil had been denied to me).

    Okay, so maybe that only happened once.

    Also, people being daft or saying really really idiotic or inaccurate things. Part of me goes up in flames, and I get agitated and start yelling and waving my arms around while I correct them.

    Sorry, I'm not an IEI or anything

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    Seeing an IEI get angry is like watching a single firecracker explode.

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    Everybody is violent deep down inside, and everybody is cruel and heartless (even IEI) it's human nature. I mean I really love the character Willow on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because she really encapsulates this. Willow started off as shy, loveable, and introverted, and this delicate thing that couldn't hurt anybody. Much like the IEIs on the forum lol. But then later on the pain of being bullied took its toll, and people taking advantage of her kind nature, and finally she just snapped. (I think Dark Willow could have been better though)

    I don't really care when IEIs are violent though, I sorta support them because they usually have good reasons. And plus SLEs are their duals, so we all sorta end up stabbing people who piss us off.

    As I lived in the world I realized one thing and one thing only: Nobody knows how to be truly kind and compassionate yet. Nobody. Not a single one of us. The best we can hope for is somebody ripping out our fag feelings and then feeling appropriately guilty about doing so. (But even that is wishful thinking, and if somebody can do that, you better love them because that's as good as you're gonna get.) As long as we live on a hell dimension, this will always be the case. Earth is much closer to hell than it is to heaven. Thinking otherwise is just being naive. I'm not being dark, or emo or IEI. I'm just telling people the truth. I mean, if you think it's otherwise you haven't really experienced life.

    But heroes are always needed where they're needed most. So come on adventurers, let's do it!!!

  6. #6
    Creepy-Snaps

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    Quote Originally Posted by personalitycafe
    They are fundamentally gentle souls. However, they may brood for quite some time on how they themselves have been hurt. These people truly make an art of wallowing in their own misery. In fact, it can lead them to beautifully creative measures: INFps will often write poetry or create music and art when in these moods.
    Sometimes INFps need to take action to feel better, I think. It's not type related, but I think learning a healthy way to express yourself and vent, is beneficial to everyone when they get mad or upset. Or expressing yourself when you're happy too. They mentioned poetry, creating music, or art. For me personally, I write. Helps me get my thoughts and feelings out.

    If you don't acknowledge what's bothering you, or deal with it in some way, quite often it only gets worse. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself either, and say what's bothering you or who's bothering you, to their face. Or at least admit it to a friend to feel better.

  7. #7
    Creepy-male

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    Of course sometimes speaking up doesn't work either, especially when you are not a Ni dominant and do not need a Se dominant "kicking your ass" or "whipping you into shape".

    I'M SORRY AM I NOT FUCKING BITTER ENOUGH ABOUT THIS YET? AT WHICH POINT DOES BEING CORRODED FROM WITHIN BY BILE ACTUALLY MAKE THIS BULLSHIT STOP HAPPENING.

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    Creepy-Snaps

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Egbert Human View Post
    Of course sometimes speaking up doesn't work either, especially when you are not a Ni dominant and do not need a Se dominant "kicking your ass" or "whipping you into shape".

    I'M SORRY AM I NOT FUCKING BITTER ENOUGH ABOUT THIS YET? AT WHICH POINT DOES BEING CORRODED FROM WITHIN BY BILE ACTUALLY MAKE THIS BULLSHIT STOP HAPPENING.
    Good job expressing yourself. You took my advice. See, don't you feel better already?

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    redbaron's Avatar
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    lol it's so endearing when SEIs throw a fit. as long as I'm out of range of fire.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Creepy-male

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    Haha, yeah, throwing a fit generally does tend to make me feel better. I think I need to yell and flail around though, or it doesn't work.

    IEIs take note. Fits good.

    Really

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    In my family, my IEI bro is definitely the "rowdiest" when he gets angry. He'll close the cabinets a little bit harder, walk up the steps a little bit louder, be extremely rude, etc., It's extremely obvious. Back in the day, he broke windows and punched holes in the wall... Hes gotten better though.

    As for dealing with it, I think its best to be left alone to cool off. Trying to tell an IEI that they're wrong when they're pissed...Not a good idea.

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    I think that a lot of anger can be psychologically related. There are many (unconscious) thoughts and feelings that lead to anger, rage, constant irritability etc. We are more likely to feel angered, irritated or disappointed when we expect or claim something and the wish does not come forth. We are more likely to feel angered or irritated when we feel that things done to us are unfair. So yes... things do lead to anger, and they don't arise out of nowhere...

    Quote Originally Posted by discojoe View Post
    Seeing an IEI get angry is like watching a single firecracker explode.
    Says the guy with rage problems.

    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Everybody is violent deep down inside, and everybody is cruel and heartless (even IEI) it's human nature.

    As I lived in the world I realized one thing and one thing only: Nobody knows how to be truly kind and compassionate yet. Nobody. Not a single one of us. The best we can hope for is somebody ripping out our fag feelings and then feeling appropriately guilty about doing so.
    No... they're not. Either you're projecting or making everyone cruel and vicious. There is something wrong with people who are violent deep inside. Not everyone is cruel and hostile. There is something wrong with these people.

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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    I manage my anger better than I would like to. That is, it's hard to get to the stage where you can recognize and accept anger and then move on if you don't go through the stage where you actually experience it. In other words, it's hard to sublimate when you're busy repressing.

    The worst thing I do is say something mean intentionally. Shrug. I'm pretty good at being verbally cruel.

    I quite enjoy playing angry characters in plays. Makes me feel better.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

    Yes 'a ma'am that's pretty music...

    I am grateful for the mystery of the soul, because without it, there could be no contemplation, except of the mysteries of divinity, which are far more dangerous to get wrong.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Singularity View Post
    Says the guy with rage problems.
    Lmao, way to totally misconstrue what I said. Dumbass.
    Last edited by discojoe; 02-12-2011 at 06:28 PM.

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    Default IEI anger

    Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love


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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    at that point I'd had enough & felt absolutely no symphony for him.
    that's the best typo I've seen ever!! (was it intentional?)
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I know an IEI with serious anger problems. He lived with me for about a year. He basically freeloaded, didn't pay rent, would not help out around the house & refused to leave. during that time we'd really get into it... He broke so many things in my home due to his uncontrollable rage. Our new refrigera still has a huge dent in it fro where he punched it. Tried to pay girls to jump me for parking in the parking space that he "claimed" to be his, even though it was my house lmao. He even went as far as breaking my computer by taking a hammer to it. My pet bird used to bother him, so one day he let it free... I was so pissed lol. I called the cops on him & told them that I didn't feel "safe" with him in my home & they forced him to leave. He cried.... but at that point I'd had enough & felt absolutely no symphony for him.
    WHAT THE FLYING FUCK

    What a total sociopath. If someone like that ever deliberately broke my computer, I would actually torture them until they begged me to stop. I'm not joking. My response would be absolutely disturbing and you'd be scared of me from then on. And yes, I see the irony in this paragraph.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    no. I posted from my phone at work & it has an automatic editing feature. Apparently it auto corrected sympathy as symphony actually, now that I reread it I see I made a lot of typos... lol
    Those programs usually let you select the word as you type it, with the option for it next to the word suggestions.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by octopuslove View Post
    Sometimes I get really pissed off and do things that I know are dumb and have horrible consequences but I do them anyway. Almost malicious things. It's almost a thrilling feeling, doing horrible things... but I kind of need to do them to feel better, and I do feel better, before the guilt sets in.
    This seems typical, for some reason to me this sounds like feeling repressed, because something is forbidden but its also emotionally satisfying.

    Quote Originally Posted by octopuslove View Post
    A (fictional) example would be, if someone keeps borrowing a pen of mine without asking despite countless requests from me not to do it, and they've got it, I've already bad a particularly bad day and I need the pen for something important, then scrambling around for another pen makes me drop my lunch in the bin, I'll throw everything on their desk on the ground. Then probably go off somewhere and cry.
    I think this case is understandable since the fictional person is tired of being taken advantage of and is desperate to be heard and hates feeling powerless. Further I think going off and crying can be explained as feeling guilty because it could have been handled better.

    Quote Originally Posted by octopuslove View Post
    Also: any advice on how to deal with it?
    I think its a case by case thing

    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    As I lived in the world I realized one thing and one thing only: Nobody knows how to be truly kind and compassionate yet. Nobody. Not a single one of us. The best we can hope for is somebody ripping out our fag feelings and then feeling appropriately guilty about doing so. (But even that is wishful thinking, and if somebody can do that, you better love them because that's as good as you're gonna get.) As long as we live on a hell dimension, this will always be the case. Earth is much closer to hell than it is to heaven. Thinking otherwise is just being naive. I'm not being dark, or emo or IEI. I'm just telling people the truth. I mean, if you think it's otherwise you haven't really experienced life.
    I agree with the whole nobody knows how to be truly kind and compassionate. Its funny because real kindness and compassion is unconditional, but most people have conditions on it. Like helping out the downtrodden person, makes people feel superior/awesome/like a hero, oddly people feed of it so intensely they constantly need to create more victims and keep the pitiful staying pitiful so they can pity them and feel good, they are leeching lol, and its more about self-service than about truely helping. If some pitiful person where to do better than you and you fail, chances are you'd be aggrevated things changed and it would be hard to feel happy for them. Its funny because I realize stuff like this, but many people just think they are being 100% pure and noble helping out people in need and haven't really explored the depth of their shadow or whatever you want to call it.

    There is a whole disorder btw where mothers poison their children and take care of them, which probably feeds off this sick need to keep people low and take care of them to feel self-satisfied.

    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I know an IEI with serious anger problems. He lived with me for about a year. He basically freeloaded, didn't pay rent, would not help out around the house & refused to leave. during that time we'd really get into it... He broke so many things in my home due to his uncontrollable rage. Our new refrigera still has a huge dent in it fro where he punched it. Tried to pay girls to jump me for parking in the parking space that he "claimed" to be his, even though it was my house lmao. He even went as far as breaking my computer by taking a hammer to it. My pet bird used to bother him, so one day he let it free... I was so pissed lol. I called the cops on him & told them that I didn't feel "safe" with him in my home & they forced him to leave. He cried.... but at that point I'd had enough & felt absolutely no symphony for him.
    Lol wow..... he payed girls to jump you rofl. That's messed up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I used to have this problem back in the day. I'd throw bitch fits & I'd become incredibly bitter about stupid things when I was in my teens. I was down right vile at times. Not so much anymore though. In fact, I can't remember the last time that I was enraged about anything. It's probably been more than two years.

    I find that meditation really helps when it comes to anger & sadness. I choose to open my mind to everything. To be honest, it takes a lot to piss me off, and when I do find myself getting a short fuse I now try to stop, clear my mind & evaluate the problem first, rather than loose my cool. This method works wonderfully.

    Oh, and I wouldn't recommend taking medication to help mood swings. IMO, that only causes you to become dependent on pills & it eventually makes the problem worse. In my experience, the best method to calming the mind is training it. Japa meditation in particular is awesome for this.
    Lol, haha... I don't know but this is funny.

    Best of luck with your problems and everything, but I would have never envisioned you doing that until now. I rage very little in real life, but a ton online. I used to troll a lot, I got through high school mainly by trolling people on video games with my friend, that how I dealt with anger/sadness, it was glorious indulging in other peoples suffering at your hands online.... but it seriously put a dent in my social life in high school because I played so much games.

    Me and a friend used to speakerphone each other and play starcraft 3v1 comp no rush, and then backstab the third guy and do it in the most dramatic and ridiculous manners toying with them, like destroy their entire base except one building, block them in, and then request they quit, they would yell things like "your such a fag, I hope you die in real life", and then we would walk a lone ghost in and nuke the last building saying things like "may god have mercy on your soul"..... and other stupidly dramatic forms of trolling.

  20. #20
    Creepy-male

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    I never got jumped. His girlfriend at the time told me that he apparently tried to get some girls do it. God, he was such a douche. lol
    Yea I was more loling at the idea of him asking girls to jump you rather than you getting jumped if you catch my drift.

    It sounds ridiculous/pathetic like some want to be mafiosso thing

  21. #21
    Glorious Member mu4's Avatar
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    It's wierd, I almost never get into it with IEI's.

    EIE is a whole different matter. I know they can get pissy and have fits, etc etc, but usually not with me.

    Anger doesn't really bother me tho since I'm more or less powered by rage so if someone's angry at me I'm pretty much OK with that. Someone threatening me and breaking my stuff or trying to guilt/shame me does piss me off, but if someone was angry at me, I usually am OK with that, esp if I did something naughty.

  22. #22
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    I can't say I've ever seen an IEI get angry...

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