I want to be Alpha or Beta!

[morgause]

Hello everybody, this is probably just another boring “what am I? Me me me!” post, and I’m sorry for that! But, after a few days of lurking through all of the different Socionics(and some Myers-Briggs, but they all seem very…basic) forums, you lot are my favorites, so please keep that in mind and bear with me.


When I first completed the MBTI in high school, my result was ENTP. Since then though, I’ve become more--in touch?--with my feelings, you could say. For the longest time after that, I had considered myself an ENFP, but I disagree with that typing these days. There’s a certain “edge” or “bite” to me, that I don’t think many ENFps have.

I’m just getting acquainted with the different quadras, but the more I read about Delta, the more I’m reminded of a particular group of friends I would hang around years ago. They all loved me at first, and we shared some common interests(art, music, pretentious independent films), but after a while, I think I was too much for them, which is strange, because no other group of people have ever made me feel that way before! They purposely made me the center of attention all of the time(which, I‘m not used to being), and would keep me around for laughs and a merry old time, but then they’d get really weird. They’d just get this look in their eyes, like I had always crossed some imaginary line of good vs. evil. One of them was an INFj and one was an ISFj, and for a long time they were my two best friends. They just were always so sensitive about everything! They’d always guilt me for the little mistakes that I naturally couldn’t help but make, like, forgetting to come to their show, or not hanging out with them because I was lazy. One time I didn’t hang out with the ISFj on her birthday because I reeeeaallly hadn’t been feeling well and I thought she’d never talk to me again. I quit hanging out with her altogether because her emotional neediness sucked the life out of me. I can’t tolerate needy friends. I still talk to the INFj, but I secretly-think he secretly-thinks I’m “evil” with a touch of good in me. Hahaha. Deltas are so "soft" and silly. I think I'm a little "hard"er and silly.

Right now, my current “best friend” is an INFp, he’s amaaaazing. He’s quirky, accepting, has good taste, and the conversation NEVER goes stale. And he has never guilted me about anything, ever, which makes me want to treat him like a better friend. I’m also good friends with an ENFp right now, and we can have the best deep conversations(with lots of huge, strange, metaphors), that is, when she’s not talking about the boring real world details of her life, like her job. She’s also prone to like inspirational quotes, that make me cringe, and compare her “feelings” with romantic comedies, which also makes me cringe. I just can’t figure out if I hate it because it’s overly sentimental, or because it’s just bad taste? Hmmm.

Anyways.
Sometimes I think I could be ENFj, because they are a little bit "harder" and because I do have a romantic streak in me, it’s just got to be a VERY weird romance or person to spark my interests. Once they’ve sparked it though, I am prone to pine and daydream about them alllll of the time. I’m very playful with the object of my affections, and for as weird or quirky as I am normally, I’m it times ten when I’m around the person. I want love(and I want everything else in life) that transcends this boring world(what a boring physical plane of existence), and makes me feel like a magical world really exists. If a person doesn’t make me feel that way, I have very little romantic interest in them. Unless they’re really hott.

I've also been looking into ENTp again, I just don't know if I like magical things too much to be an NT? All of the Ne/Ti people I've known, are obsessed with robots and aliens. I like aliens, but sometimes all of the Science part of Science Fiction can bore me. I do, however, find quantum physics and metaphysics fascinating and looove theories of alternate realities, time travel, etc. But I also know a lot of NFs that feel that way.



Things I like: Fantasy books/television/films, sexy wizards, historical fiction, neurotic types, laughing, writing, making music, teasing, lighthearted fun, an exciting/adventurous love, accepting the world in shades of grey, stretching the truth, studying philosophy and the humanities


Things I dislike: Overly sentimental people, inspirational quotes, robots, people telling me about their crushes on me, people cornering me in a conversation, loyalty for the sake of it, patriotism just for the sake of it, seriousness, situations where laughing is unacceptable (speech classes, funerals)


Right now, I think I belong in Alpha or Beta. Alpha seems fun and ridiculous and like nobody real gives a fuck. I love my real life Alpha friends. Beta, seems cool, because I keep reading things about chivalry and the epicness to Beta, which I’m down with(Medieval times, FTW!)
I just don’t want to be a Delta, no offense! They don’t want me either, wah!


can anybody help enlighten me?

[Computer Loser]

mmm, after reading all that I got more of a alpha > beta vibe, but who knows.

If you got ENTP in the past, I think ENTp will probably be a good type to examine first. Check this link out

http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.p...gical_Extratim

I recommend just reading up on temperaments, functions, descriptions, inter-type relations, etc., and cutting out the ones that don't fit. Also, try PMing/talking to a couple members who you suspect to be your type to see if there's any common ground.

Its not too hard, just gotta keep things simple.

Good luck

[The Exception]

I agree with Peteronfireeee in that I think ENTP is more likely your type.

[Slacker]

Yeah you sound more ILE (ENTp) to me too. Some of the things you said make you sound like you're an Infantile type. And I get an Alpha vibe. But I don't have strong arguments for it, just a feeling.

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

yeah i know that feeling. personally,i'd love to be alpha.ISFp specifically.I think life would be so much easier

[glam]

I want to be Alpha or Beta!

of course you do, they're the two best quadras

[DirectorAbbie]

They’d just get this look in their eyes, like I had always crossed some imaginary line of good vs. evil.

A line, maybe. I've given people that look.

[morgause]

Wow, thank you everyone for all of the awesome responses!

I am definitely leaning more towards ILE now. I think I thought I was an NF for a while just because all of the whimsical-ness associated with it, but ENTp is whimsical as well.


I just read this description for ILE women, and it describes me to a tee.

http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?t...ale_and_female

Most online descriptions of the types seem to associate NF usually with women and NT usually with men, so that is why I was slightly more biased towards thinking I was a feeler. Interesting, indeed!

[Wynch]

Welcome to the club!!

Also, thank-you for reminding me of that Middle Ages children's book I wanted to buy...

[shindaiwa21]

of course you do, they're the two best quadras

You took the words right out of my keyboard.


------

I don't think your alpha. You address your relations to others in a slightly paranoid fashion which is quite uncharacteristic of alphas. Your whole post seemed rather Ni/Se valuing "And he has never guilted me about anything, ever, which makes me want to treat him like a better friend." That sounds very Ni/Se-ish to me, establishing a safe zone where some power games won't be played.

Yes, we are all obsessed with robots and aliens, or spaceships and velociraptors. I don't get much of a sense of Ne from your post.

I would guess a beta extrovert. Also, how can you type the people around you if you can't type yourself? If your coordinate system has no fixed origin how can you tell if people are fitting relations correctly, or if they share functions with you, etc.

[morgause]

Hahaha, great to be here!

Oooo...what book are looking to buy!?

[morgause]

I would guess a beta extrovert. Also, how can you type the people around you if you can't type yourself? If your coordinate system has no fixed origin how can you tell if people are fitting relations correctly, or if they share functions with you, etc.

Hmmm...fair enough! Most of my friends have completed the MBTI, and those were the results they got and felt comfortable with, not of my own typing! But you are correct, I can't even type myself and I've been interested in the personality types for years, so just them taking a silly online quiz a few times doesn't necessarily mean they are what they say they are either.

I'm just happy to be here and possibly in Alpha or Beta!

[shindaiwa21]

Yeah MBTI will probably give you the club not the quadra. Extroversion/Introversion swaps around a lot as does p/j. Clubs can swap occasionally as well though it's not as common. A lot of the stuff you said did sound correctish as per the quadras/types you had assigned to them, I guess I just wouldn't try and use it to solidify your own type so much.

btw sorry bout the dickish tone of the response I'm hella sleep deprived.

Still there is something about the way you talk about how that group of deltas put weird pressure on you, and your responsiveness to their good/bad that strikes me as a bit odd for an alpha. ENTp's tend to be somewhat free to be outrageous and feel good about it. I don't think ENTp's generally feel that kind of back-pressure type thing you described, and generally alphas are much more easygoing. That sort of pressure seems much more beta-ish to experience, more like you have an externally centered motivation, like governed by some group dynamic, which strikes me as more aristocratic, where alphas are more likely to just want to have a nice atmosphere and relax, and will disregard shrug off a fair bit to get it. I for instance will usually never have to deal with people who make me uncomfortable socially, and when I do I just majorly withdraw. The more major question about people is whether I find them interesting enough to spend time around, for instance a group of "okay" people with one or two interesting ones will turn me off, I'd rather go do my own thing. Most alphas tend to be more accepting and open than that, as well as be more tolerant of peoples' flaws than I am.

[Wynch]

FWIW, and this will mean different things to different people, I actually strongly related to what morgause described regarding pressure from people. I want relaxed relationships with people and when they put emotional pressures or responsibilities on me I get stressed out. What she described reminded me of the problems I had with my EIE former bestie. The emotional neediness and the loyalty issue eventually drove me over the edge.

I hate to pull the female card, but I think part of the issue there is the difference between typical male-male and female-female relationships. Women typically expect a lot out of their female friends and want those relationships to be filled with emotional support. If emotional support and focus isn't super natural to you it can become a social pressure where they make you feel responsible and guilty even when you're really trying your best to be a good friend. Everyone needs to bitch every once and a while, but it's hard to stay focused on the emotional needs of your friends when it doesn't really occur to you until it slaps you in the face. That can be a definite problem with Fi-ego women for sure.

[shindaiwa21]

Could be, discussion of space warfare is basically more important in a friendship than emotional support for me. Those deltas will stop us from killing human populations with bio weapons, neutron weapons, and generally destroying planets/moons/suns for lolz. DAMN IT DELTAS MAKE ME SO ANGRY.

[Wynch]

Those deltas will stop us from killing human populations with bio weapons, neutron weapons, and generally destroying planets/moons/suns for lolz.

Discussion of space warfare is more important to me too, lol. But when your friend also wants you to remember to call, or thinks you're disloyal because you disagree them, etc then suddenly the relationship becomes stressful. And when you care about the people who are your friends (I mean friends, not random acquaintances) then those things begin to weigh on you. It's hard to do things that don't naturally occur to you.

[morgause]

Hahahaha! See, no matter what type I am, or any of us for that matter, at least we all can bond over our Delta Distaste!

Hahaha, your space warfare comment reminded of this “club” I once had with a certain ISFp(possibly) gal friend of mine, that was centered around our love for vampires. We would kind of roleplay being vampires(but we always laughed about it, it was just this strange inside joke/fantasy of ours, but also kind of a parody of people who do these things and take themselves seriously..like the old SNL skit Goth Talk) and even started a club amongst our friends and acquaintances…we got probably a dozen or so members to join and would have monthly/bi monthly meetings. One time we had a vampire cupcake party, where we brought in cupcakes with like little bats or fangs on them and then watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer, hahaha. It was probably the single lamest but AWESOMEST thing I’ve ever been involved with, but it made us sooo happy! I even got Charlaine Harris, the author of all of the books True Blood are based off of, to autograph her latest book and make it out to "Vampire Club." Hahaha.


Alas….but the point of this story is, YES to groups and conversations centered around ridiculousness and funny interests. I just can't stand it once relationships start to get emotionally intimate. Feelings are nice and all, but they're private things to me, I really only find enjoyment discussing them with my little gay INFp male friend. With everybody else, it either drains me, or bores me...which ends up with me feeling drained.

Why can't Delta just hang out and talk Vampires or Wizards instead??

[Wynch]

Wizards are intriguing for their potential to do some crazy stuff, but Vampires are kind of underwhelming for me. I don't even understand why they're interesting. Why do they excite you so much?

[morgause]

Wizards are intriguing for their potential to do some crazy stuff, but Vampires are kind of underwhelming for me. I don't even understand why they're interesting. Why do they excite you so much?

I think it's the immortality thing, but more than anything it's more of a love of the shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (and all Joss Whedon, really) than it is anything else. I am kind of bored of vampires these days though, maybe it's because Vampire club hasn't met in a while.

[Wynch]

Yeah, now that I really don't understand.

[Timeless]

You took the words right out of my keyboard.

So that was you selling this on eBay?

[morgause]

Yeah, now that I really don't understand.

Don't understand the desire for immortality or my love of Joss Whedon?

[Wynch]

Don't understand the desire for immortality or my love of Joss Whedon?

Either?

[shindaiwa21]

I don't think I've ever had issue with people wanting me to be overly emotionally involved or straining me in that way Vero. I would think it would happen sometimes. I feel like there is hardly any concept of loyalty in my friendships, except a soft sort of bond with really good friends that is silently acknowledged and requires little to no maintainer. I think I do naturally tend to repel people who would rely on me. I'm pretty detached and unemotional.

I know an ENFp who shares my interests pretty thoroughly, so it's not all deltas. They're great, as long as they aren't cranky.


Joss Wedon: Dollhouse >>> Firefly >>> Buffy

"Vampires are kind of underwhelming" I like it. They are quite. I think the problem is like, they are too calm, too cool. They don't really have any like, twist or insanity to them. Too slick, not very raw. What's the catch? I mean they can be sociopathic, but there isn't really the distortion of humanity I want.

Also you got any pics for Vi morgause? Your name makes me think Death(∇·E=ρ/ε₀) but that's a bit of a stretch.