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Thread: get mad fast, and then get over anger fast too

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    ladyinred's Avatar
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    Default get mad fast, and then get over anger fast too

    type related to get mad in a flash, and then get over the anger fast??

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    ladyinred's Avatar
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    maybe its a Beta thing

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    I'm like that, although I don't get mad that often (like most people, I think).
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Coldest of the Socion EyeSeeCold's Avatar
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    I don't think it's type related.

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    I get extremely angry when someone does something wrong, then if they stop right away I'll clam down quickly.

    ESTj
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I get extremely angry when someone does something wrong
    why?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I get extremely angry when someone does something wrong, then if they stop right away I'll clam down quickly.
    That's how most of my interactions with ESTjs end up in a fist fight. When someone gets extremely angry at me, I'll keep on doing what I was doing with double amount of force.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    That's how most of my interactions with ESTjs end up in a fist fight. When someone gets extremely angry at me, I'll keep on doing what I was doing with double amount of force.

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    It's the exact opposite for me. People or situations don't make me mad fast, it takes a while to get me angry. But once I am in that state of 'stfu everybody and get the hell out of my way' I can hardly get over it. I mostly need to get away from the problem's cause or get some rest/sleep (because this often happens if I didn't get sleep).
    „Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
    – Arthur Schopenhauer

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    As an ILI, this is one of the most noticeable things for me between the types.

    Gulenko supports the view that it is type related:

    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...esistance.html
    /

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    Darn Socks Director Abbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    why?
    Good question. I have to think about this one. If someone puts their feet on my stuff, they need to be stopped and stopped quickly. Therefore the faster I move the faster they'll move. Anger also has a tendancy to startle people, which makes them stop whatever they're doing long enough for me to tell them not to do it again.

    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    That's how most of my interactions with ESTjs end up in a fist fight. When someone gets extremely angry at me, I'll keep on doing what I was doing with double amount of force.
    I read this and had the urge to join the fist fight. My SLE brother does the same thing.

    ESTj
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoshyant View Post
    4. Right winged rationals (LSE, LSI, EII, EIE) creates a stress unresistant group of types. They bear stress worse than the other types, especially the stress which is unexpected in nature. Despite their external stoicism, they always have poorly protected and vulnerable point and also - a need to have a solid foundation under their feet and if this foundation is moved they lose any resistance to stress they may had. Stress threatens these types with challenging doubts and in the end leads them into inner breaking ("giants with feet of clay"). To their rational temperaments unavoidable element is monolithicism.
    I'm unaffected by others' stress. My own stress is self-induced.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I'm unaffected by others' stress. My own stress is self-induced.
    But your stress has to have an external factor to it, no?
    /

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    Quote Originally Posted by Saoshyant View Post
    But your stress has to have an external factor to it, no?
    Yes. For example, if something needs done I'll decide that I'm going to do it and I'm going to do it NOW. Then I may get totally focussed, take no breaks, and snap at anyone who slightly slows my progress.

    I'm going to type out some phrases from my class reading this week.

    "When children experience fear and/or stress, their neurochemical response is to secrete the stress hormone, cortisol. This response makes some neural activities slower, in general, the learning centers in the top of the brain and...other neural activities faster, in general, the brain stem and lower limbic systems which are responsible for the fight/flight physical responses."

    "There is some evidence that the amle brain does not return to stability and learning readiness as quickly as the female brain does after an incident that is highly stressful."

    ESTj
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Sometimes I get mad fast and it dissipates rapidly. But other times, anger creeps up on me, and I don't even know it's there at first. And just builds. And right now is like that. I'm angry and stressed and depressed, and there's not a fucking person I can talk to, so I'm telling a bunch of strangers on the internet. The fucking internet. Two-dimensional shittiest form of trying to communicate ever. Hate this shit. All the fucking words. Just typed words, and waiting, and not reaching anything. Not fucking connecting with ANYTHING. Your own thoughts just echo around and fall lifeless to the ground. IM, and facebook, and these damn forums, just two-dimensional space, and distance. Too much distance, and too much safety. And I'm sick of my own head, and my own thoughts, and trying to fix myself, and cure my anger. I want to be known, and touched, and reached, but I feel like I'm fire, that only burns and destroys everything, and nobody wants to get too near. I can contain myself and be acceptable enough to everyone, and they're all happy, but I get so sick of that, and it drives me crazy. I haven't been sleeping or eating, have lost like 10 lbs in the past 2 weeks. And it's from having to remain so damn contained, holding all of my anger and frustration back. Don't do that. Find a way to let it out to be dealt with. My way is physically, take it out with my body, through hard exercize of some sort. But, I have to recognize the anger first.

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    Someone's stressed.

    What's wrong with internet people? I like it 'cause there are no gossipers.

    ESTj
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    ...
    You don't have to worry about making other people happy. They belong to themselves. They're going to be okay while you figure out life for yourself. What makes you happy?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
    type related to get mad in a flash, and then get over the anger fast??
    My type certainly does it. x 100

    Definitely not true of my EIE mom who gets mad fast but can fuel a grudge anywhere from a few seconds to over four months.
    You can do anything with a bayonet except sit on it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dolphin View Post
    You don't have to worry about making other people happy. They belong to themselves. They're going to be okay while you figure out life for yourself. What makes you happy?
    Still working on figuring that one out. But, I agree with you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    Someone's stressed.

    What's wrong with internet people? I like it 'cause there are no gossipers.
    obviously she's stressed, you moron. way to be supportive. and she just told you what she doesnt like about the internet, its 2deminsional and therefore unhelpful in any meaningful way.

    if you dont have anything helpful or at least halfway intelligent to post, dont post anything at all


    anyway squark im sorry youre going through that. i think what dolphin says is good advice, sometimes it can be hard to follow though if it means breaking a pattern but one great thing about life is that nothing ever stops, things are always moving so when youre in a time like this there is always another day, or several days or longer as the case may be, to look forward to. just keep going, keep posting or finding other ways to vent, and youll end up WAY better than you would have been without the hard time to strengthen you


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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
    obviously she's stressed, you moron. way to be supportive. and she just told you what she doesnt like about the internet, its 2deminsional and therefore unhelpful in any meaningful way.

    if you dont have anything helpful or at least halfway intelligent to post, dont post anything at all
    If you're just gonna conflict, don't bother responding.

    I don't support emotions.

    I asked why squark didn't like something followed by a reason I like it. That doesn't mean I don't think reasons were already given. It means I expect a reason against my reason.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred
    obviously she's stressed, you moron. way to be supportive. and she just told you what she doesnt like about the internet, its 2deminsional and therefore unhelpful in any meaningful way.

    if you dont have anything helpful or at least halfway intelligent to post, dont post anything at all
    Will you be getting over this fast?

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    thanks ladyinred. venting DID help. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I don't support emotions.
    huh? what does this mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Director Abbie View Post
    I don't support emotions.

    I asked why squark didn't like something followed by a reason I like it. That doesn't mean I don't think reasons were already given. It means I expect a reason against my reason.
    this is what i dont jive with about delta STs - you DONT support emotions, barely even acknowledge them. but you know, emotions are important, they give depth to the experience of life and they color existence in many many ways. but delta STs ignore them and worse, belittle them in other people. this is a trend i have seen very often in the real world, and its therefore interesting, and at least respectably honest, that you say outright here "I don't support emotions."

    i dont get it. i dont GET how someone can just IGNORE emotions and not only that, not only go about your merry (gray, emotionless) way, but GIVE REASONS WHY YOU DISAGREE with the sad/stressed person's viewpoint, picking out an insignificant point because you "expect a reason to go against your reason"... what, to start a logical debate? she doesnt WANT to debate. she wants to be heard. and cared about. if you cant provide that, and you clearly either cannot or will not, shut your mouth.


    this may derail the thread a bit but fuck it, i made it in the first place

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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    Will you be getting over this fast?


    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    thanks ladyinred. venting DID help. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    Sometimes I get mad fast and it dissipates rapidly. But other times, anger creeps up on me, and I don't even know it's there at first. And just builds. And right now is like that. I'm angry and stressed and depressed, and there's not a fucking person I can talk to, so I'm telling a bunch of strangers on the internet. The fucking internet. Two-dimensional shittiest form of trying to communicate ever. Hate this shit. All the fucking words. Just typed words, and waiting, and not reaching anything. Not fucking connecting with ANYTHING. Your own thoughts just echo around and fall lifeless to the ground. IM, and facebook, and these damn forums, just two-dimensional space, and distance. Too much distance, and too much safety. And I'm sick of my own head, and my own thoughts, and trying to fix myself, and cure my anger. I want to be known, and touched, and reached, but I feel like I'm fire, that only burns and destroys everything, and nobody wants to get too near. I can contain myself and be acceptable enough to everyone, and they're all happy, but I get so sick of that, and it drives me crazy. I haven't been sleeping or eating, have lost like 10 lbs in the past 2 weeks. And it's from having to remain so damn contained, holding all of my anger and frustration back. Don't do that. Find a way to let it out to be dealt with. My way is physically, take it out with my body, through hard exercize of some sort. But, I have to recognize the anger first.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
    this is what i dont jive with about delta STs - you DONT support emotions, barely even acknowledge them. but you know, emotions are important, they give depth to the experience of life and they color existence in many many ways. but delta STs ignore them and worse, belittle them in other people. this is a trend i have seen very often in the real world, and its therefore interesting, and at least respectably honest, that you say outright here "I don't support emotions."

    i dont get it. i dont GET how someone can just IGNORE emotions and not only that, not only go about your merry (gray, emotionless) way, but GIVE REASONS WHY YOU DISAGREE with the sad/stressed person's viewpoint, picking out an insignificant point because you "expect a reason to go against your reason"... what, to start a logical debate? she doesnt WANT to debate. she wants to be heard. and cared about. if you cant provide that, and you clearly either cannot or will not, shut your mouth.
    +1

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    lol, another thread were people roll up their internet sleaves.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Words View Post
    lol, another thread where people roll up their internet sleeves.
    fixed. sorry.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    fixed. sorry.
    Oh thanks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron
    fixed. sorry.
    But why?

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    Quote Originally Posted by CILi View Post
    okay I guess sleave is an archaic version. I also fixed the "were" "where" thing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redbaron View Post
    huh? what does this mean?
    What am I supposed to do when someone gets emotional? Frown to make them feel understood? Smile to cheer them up? I don't support emotions because I don't know how to. I also don't know when to or why to. I can analyze your emotions and suggest ways to change your emotions, but I'm not gonna start bawlin' just because my best friend broke his toe.

    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinred View Post
    shut your mouth.
    That won't accomplish anything. I haven't spoken a work on the subject. I haven't even verbally made reference to your or squark's existances.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    Over here, we'll put up with (almost) all of your crap. You just have to use the secret phrase: "I don't value it. It's related to <insert random element here>, which is not in my quadra."
    Quote Originally Posted by Aquagraph View Post
    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    we're all like this I think.

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    don't get mad, get even

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by MegaDoomer View Post
    It's the exact opposite for me. People or situations don't make me mad fast, it takes a while to get me angry. But once I am in that state of 'stfu everybody and get the hell out of my way' I can hardly get over it. I mostly need to get away from the problem's cause or get some rest/sleep (because this often happens if I didn't get sleep).
    I relate to this the most I think, usually I'm rather calm and composed, but once I get into a mental state of anger its hard to recover. I have triggers and ways of coping, when I keep getting triggered and don't have enough time to cope, I pretty much get stuck in a state of anger where I'm a complete asshole to people, but I do have certain limits, certain lines I don't cross no matter how angry I am.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by squark View Post
    Sometimes I get mad fast and it dissipates rapidly. But other times, anger creeps up on me, and I don't even know it's there at first. And just builds. And right now is like that. I'm angry and stressed and depressed, and there's not a fucking person I can talk to, so I'm telling a bunch of strangers on the internet. The fucking internet. Two-dimensional shittiest form of trying to communicate ever. Hate this shit. All the fucking words. Just typed words, and waiting, and not reaching anything. Not fucking connecting with ANYTHING. Your own thoughts just echo around and fall lifeless to the ground. IM, and facebook, and these damn forums, just two-dimensional space, and distance. Too much distance, and too much safety. And I'm sick of my own head, and my own thoughts, and trying to fix myself, and cure my anger. I want to be known, and touched, and reached, but I feel like I'm fire, that only burns and destroys everything, and nobody wants to get too near. I can contain myself and be acceptable enough to everyone, and they're all happy, but I get so sick of that, and it drives me crazy. I haven't been sleeping or eating, have lost like 10 lbs in the past 2 weeks. And it's from having to remain so damn contained, holding all of my anger and frustration back. Don't do that. Find a way to let it out to be dealt with. My way is physically, take it out with my body, through hard exercize of some sort. But, I have to recognize the anger first.
    Here are my suggestions for what they are worth.... anger is great if you can take it out with people who share the source of your annoyance. Ranting is great, but you have to make sure who you rant to can relate. Unfortunately its a high stakes game, because if they can't relate, you just ordered a huge helping of an angry rebutal. If you have good friends that can deal with your anger ranting is a great way to feel good, because it doesn't make you feel alone in your annoyances. I wouldn't listen to church ladies too much, anger is an earthly emotion everyone feels and its something people have to confront and learn to deal with emotionally one way or another.

    To deal with someone angry, you should ask them some questions, it makes them think, and could possibly calm them down, they may see something they didn't see before and open up their minds. Try to seem receptive, like you want to side with them, agree with them that they have experienced something they have the right to feel angry about, but your a little skeptical.

    However, don't question them in an interrogative manner like you are judging whether they have the right to feel this way, that makes it worse. Also telling them to "STFU" "DEAL WITH IT" "YOUR AN EMO FAG".... never works, you might as well just punch them in the face and tell them you sodomized their mom last night complete with laughing like a little weasel, because all it does it make their anger worse. Finally you want to avoid trying to assume they are wrong and they need to prove quickly why they have the right to feel angry, that will incite anxiety which will only fuel anger.

    Once again, the idea is to be receptive, listen, ask questions.

    If you disagree with them, after they've calmed down try telling them calmly your viewpoint, open with something like no offense, and admit to them you see it different but you understand they are angry. If you agree with them, ask what they consider doing about it, try helping them solve their problem or if it is beyond your capability, simply wishing them prosperity and peace should be good enough.

    That's communicating anger with people.... now onto personal coping

    Consider what causes anger, if its stress, likely you are in fight or flight mode, ready to face down challenges, but our biology is designed to only be in this mode when facing predators and not for normal operation. The first goal is to calm down, this is hard to do, but there are many ways. A classic is physical exercise, the method is simple, let out excess energy physically until your body forcibly becomes exhausted and your fight or flight mode shuts down and your body become flooded with endorphins. Great, but it won't heal the source, and isn't always a feasible method, its the brute force method.

    A good method to heal the source of anger is to figure out what it is that is really frustrating you, review all the little triggers and try to understand why you are angry, then once you figure out find some way to cope with that source of anger, a constructive solution and a productive hopeful forward moving attitude (one day I will overcome that which has annoyed me and I will live among the gods), content acceptance (I can live with this or Pshh that isn't so bad), or just even a darker cynical acceptance (lifes not perfect, but one can imagine). Usually entire coping requires all three.

    But before you can go about this process, first you must be mentally calm and not enraged. For this just find a way to relax, exercise like you mentioned is a good one, but if that's not available, reading a book, watching a movie, listening to a song, working alone on some creative activity you enjoy, quiet contemplation, or simply rest/food/comfort will do the trick. Ideally all of these activities plus the coping mechanism I believe could calm down the most enraged psychotic killer. I think the problem on why this doesn't work is that typically enraged psychotic killers are getting fed anger in from their environment so they are unable to calm down enough to heal... think about it if you were in a prison you'd constantly be exposed to anger as if it were radiation in cyernobol. That's why for everything to work there must also be understanding outside oneself and not just a personal goal to eliminate anger from your life, because people are interconnected fundamentally, feelings are so largely based on one's interaction with the world around them, their senses, the pain they feel when they fall on hard concrete, and the excitement they feel when they are in good company. If someone around you is angry, even that glare from a passerby, it will make you feel worse and spread the disease. Of course this isn't to imply a strategy of ignoring others anger, but attempting to make a lifestyle change, where you can better deal with anger both inside you and outside of you, and then using that self-mastery and empathy to bring a small measure of peace to the world. The saddest part to the story though, is people typically capable of doing this, are never immune to one day being consumed by it and dying at the hands of some bitter person. That's how it works and the cycle continues, new people rise and bring peace, to fall again, and so forth and so forth.
    Last edited by male; 12-01-2010 at 05:29 AM.

  39. #39
    squark's Avatar
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    I realized that I was angry, and ran, and vented here, and made a decision for how I was going to deal with what I thought were the issues.

    Then, I started writing to myself what I was really angry about, in clear, honest terms, not allowing obfuscation. I looked at it and started laughing at all my melodrama. I got WAY too worked up over things, and it was more or less because I let stuff accumulate and frustration just built up. If I can recognize when something's bothering me sooner, I think I can find a way of dealing with it better, so it doesn't fester.

    A lot of times the things we tell ourselves and others are bothering us isn't really the heart of the issue. When we're honest with ourselves, and able to look at it all with an open mind rather than through a self-protecting screen, it can get a lot simpler pretty quick.

  40. #40
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    I find dynamic types seem to have more quickly changeable emotions compared to static types, similarly to how energy levels tend to vary in irrational types more. IME, of course.

    Another explanation could be emotivism/constructivism, but I'm not convinced emotional states aspects applies, really.

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