type related to get mad in a flash, and then get over the anger fast??
type related to get mad in a flash, and then get over the anger fast??
I'm like that, although I don't get mad that often (like most people, I think).
fatti non foste a viver come bruti ma per seguir virtute e canoscenza
I don't think it's type related.
It's the exact opposite for me. People or situations don't make me mad fast, it takes a while to get me angry. But once I am in that state of 'stfu everybody and get the hell out of my way' I can hardly get over it. I mostly need to get away from the problem's cause or get some rest/sleep (because this often happens if I didn't get sleep).
„Man can do what he wants but he cannot want what he wants.“
– Arthur Schopenhauer
As an ILI, this is one of the most noticeable things for me between the types.
Gulenko supports the view that it is type related:
I'm going to type out some phrases from my class reading this week.
"When children experience fear and/or stress, their neurochemical response is to secrete the stress hormone, cortisol. This response makes some neural activities slower, in general, the learning centers in the top of the brain and...other neural activities faster, in general, the brain stem and lower limbic systems which are responsible for the fight/flight physical responses."
"There is some evidence that the amle brain does not return to stability and learning readiness as quickly as the female brain does after an incident that is highly stressful."
Sometimes I get mad fast and it dissipates rapidly. But other times, anger creeps up on me, and I don't even know it's there at first. And just builds. And right now is like that. I'm angry and stressed and depressed, and there's not a fucking person I can talk to, so I'm telling a bunch of strangers on the internet. The fucking internet. Two-dimensional shittiest form of trying to communicate ever. Hate this shit. All the fucking words. Just typed words, and waiting, and not reaching anything. Not fucking connecting with ANYTHING. Your own thoughts just echo around and fall lifeless to the ground. IM, and facebook, and these damn forums, just two-dimensional space, and distance. Too much distance, and too much safety. And I'm sick of my own head, and my own thoughts, and trying to fix myself, and cure my anger. I want to be known, and touched, and reached, but I feel like I'm fire, that only burns and destroys everything, and nobody wants to get too near. I can contain myself and be acceptable enough to everyone, and they're all happy, but I get so sick of that, and it drives me crazy. I haven't been sleeping or eating, have lost like 10 lbs in the past 2 weeks. And it's from having to remain so damn contained, holding all of my anger and frustration back. Don't do that. Find a way to let it out to be dealt with. My way is physically, take it out with my body, through hard exercize of some sort. But, I have to recognize the anger first.
A revolution is not a dinner party, or writing an essay, or painting a picture, or doing embroidery; It cannot be so refined, so leisurely and gentle, so temperate, kind, courteous, restrained and magnanimous. A revolution is an insurrection, an act of violence by which one class overthrows the other. Mao Tse Tung
if you dont have anything helpful or at least halfway intelligent to post, dont post anything at all
anyway squark im sorry youre going through that. i think what dolphin says is good advice, sometimes it can be hard to follow though if it means breaking a pattern but one great thing about life is that nothing ever stops, things are always moving so when youre in a time like this there is always another day, or several days or longer as the case may be, to look forward to. just keep going, keep posting or finding other ways to vent, and youll end up WAY better than you would have been without the hard time to strengthen you
thanks ladyinred. venting DID help. :-)
i dont get it. i dont GET how someone can just IGNORE emotions and not only that, not only go about your merry (gray, emotionless) way, but GIVE REASONS WHY YOU DISAGREE with the sad/stressed person's viewpoint, picking out an insignificant point because you "expect a reason to go against your reason"... what, to start a logical debate? she doesnt WANT to debate. she wants to be heard. and cared about. if you cant provide that, and you clearly either cannot or will not, shut your mouth.
this may derail the thread a bit but fuck it, i made it in the first place
lol, another thread were people roll up their internet sleaves.
we're all like this I think.
n0ki: If it weren't for faggy civilization, people like me and bnd would be totally dead by now.
don't get mad, get even
To deal with someone angry, you should ask them some questions, it makes them think, and could possibly calm them down, they may see something they didn't see before and open up their minds. Try to seem receptive, like you want to side with them, agree with them that they have experienced something they have the right to feel angry about, but your a little skeptical.
However, don't question them in an interrogative manner like you are judging whether they have the right to feel this way, that makes it worse. Also telling them to "STFU" "DEAL WITH IT" "YOUR AN EMO FAG".... never works, you might as well just punch them in the face and tell them you sodomized their mom last night complete with laughing like a little weasel, because all it does it make their anger worse. Finally you want to avoid trying to assume they are wrong and they need to prove quickly why they have the right to feel angry, that will incite anxiety which will only fuel anger.
Once again, the idea is to be receptive, listen, ask questions.
If you disagree with them, after they've calmed down try telling them calmly your viewpoint, open with something like no offense, and admit to them you see it different but you understand they are angry. If you agree with them, ask what they consider doing about it, try helping them solve their problem or if it is beyond your capability, simply wishing them prosperity and peace should be good enough.
That's communicating anger with people.... now onto personal coping
Consider what causes anger, if its stress, likely you are in fight or flight mode, ready to face down challenges, but our biology is designed to only be in this mode when facing predators and not for normal operation. The first goal is to calm down, this is hard to do, but there are many ways. A classic is physical exercise, the method is simple, let out excess energy physically until your body forcibly becomes exhausted and your fight or flight mode shuts down and your body become flooded with endorphins. Great, but it won't heal the source, and isn't always a feasible method, its the brute force method.
A good method to heal the source of anger is to figure out what it is that is really frustrating you, review all the little triggers and try to understand why you are angry, then once you figure out find some way to cope with that source of anger, a constructive solution and a productive hopeful forward moving attitude (one day I will overcome that which has annoyed me and I will live among the gods), content acceptance (I can live with this or Pshh that isn't so bad), or just even a darker cynical acceptance (lifes not perfect, but one can imagine). Usually entire coping requires all three.
But before you can go about this process, first you must be mentally calm and not enraged. For this just find a way to relax, exercise like you mentioned is a good one, but if that's not available, reading a book, watching a movie, listening to a song, working alone on some creative activity you enjoy, quiet contemplation, or simply rest/food/comfort will do the trick. Ideally all of these activities plus the coping mechanism I believe could calm down the most enraged psychotic killer. I think the problem on why this doesn't work is that typically enraged psychotic killers are getting fed anger in from their environment so they are unable to calm down enough to heal... think about it if you were in a prison you'd constantly be exposed to anger as if it were radiation in cyernobol. That's why for everything to work there must also be understanding outside oneself and not just a personal goal to eliminate anger from your life, because people are interconnected fundamentally, feelings are so largely based on one's interaction with the world around them, their senses, the pain they feel when they fall on hard concrete, and the excitement they feel when they are in good company. If someone around you is angry, even that glare from a passerby, it will make you feel worse and spread the disease. Of course this isn't to imply a strategy of ignoring others anger, but attempting to make a lifestyle change, where you can better deal with anger both inside you and outside of you, and then using that self-mastery and empathy to bring a small measure of peace to the world. The saddest part to the story though, is people typically capable of doing this, are never immune to one day being consumed by it and dying at the hands of some bitter person. That's how it works and the cycle continues, new people rise and bring peace, to fall again, and so forth and so forth.
Last edited by male; 12-01-2010 at 04:29 AM.
I realized that I was angry, and ran, and vented here, and made a decision for how I was going to deal with what I thought were the issues.
Then, I started writing to myself what I was really angry about, in clear, honest terms, not allowing obfuscation. I looked at it and started laughing at all my melodrama. I got WAY too worked up over things, and it was more or less because I let stuff accumulate and frustration just built up. If I can recognize when something's bothering me sooner, I think I can find a way of dealing with it better, so it doesn't fester.
A lot of times the things we tell ourselves and others are bothering us isn't really the heart of the issue. When we're honest with ourselves, and able to look at it all with an open mind rather than through a self-protecting screen, it can get a lot simpler pretty quick.
I find dynamic types seem to have more quickly changeable emotions compared to static types, similarly to how energy levels tend to vary in irrational types more. IME, of course.
Another explanation could be emotivism/constructivism, but I'm not convinced emotional states aspects applies, really.