Suicidal Tendencies

[Flat Footed Frog]

I have a few friends that i am sure are the same type. They are such different people individually but show the same pattern of behaviour when things go wrong (and it doesnt even have to be majorly wrong!).

Basically it starts out like this...they get a boyfriend, everything in their life is happy and wonderful. They are way over the top with how they imagine this relationship to be, idealising it and holding it as the biggest romance of the last century. (how could anyone be in love as strongly and passionately as them? is how they see it in their heads.) But the thing is everyone can see their relationship is nothing like that. And it can happen so fast, with almost anyone when its obvious they dont actually click and the relationship is one-sided and all focused on how they feel about it. They dive full course into relationships in a sexual way and tell EVERYONE in detail about it. They claim their boyfriends like territory and tell everyone about it to show others that this man is 'theirs' and how much he loves them etc. The guy soon realises hes been claimed but sticks around a little longer for the sex...which they soon realisecomes with a high cost (non-stop texts, jealous accusations to the point of stalking their boyfriend, clingy behaviour etc).

Then the relationship starts to go sour, they cling to their boyfriend no matter what he does and start to self harm as a tool to try keep him around. They also start coming up with stories about being raped, becoming pregnant or going to hospital etc for various reasons. They starve themselves saying maybe he'll love me if im skinnier or realise how much i miss him and need him. In the end they start acting like those psycho ex-girlfriends you see on movies!!

I believe they are extraverted by just how much they NEED people around them and cry for attention with this behaviour. Does anyone have any idea what type people like this could be?

[EyeSeeCold]

I just wanted a pepsi.

[Creepy-male]

This sounds like a personality disorder, which is why it seems to be a type.

EDIT

IOW it is a type, just not a socionics type; it's a type of mental illness.

[Creepy-bg]

I thought that this thread was going to be about the band...

[Exodus]

This sounds like a personality disorder, which is why it seems to be a type.

EDIT

IOW it is a type, just not a socionics type; it's a type of mental illness.

Namely borderline disorder...

Borderline personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Creepy-male]

I was thinking that, but histrionic personality disorder also sprang to mind. Anyway, I'm not a qualified psychiatrist, so I was refraining from brandishing diagnoses about.

[silverchris9]

I was thinking that, but histrionic personality disorder also sprang to mind. Anyway, I'm not a qualified psychiatrist, so I was refraining from brandishing diagnoses about.

I think qualified psychiatrists should refrain from brandishing diagnoses about.

[Aleksei]

I think they're mentally disturbed IEIs. And in serious need of professional help.

[Flat Footed Frog]

yes, i thought it would be more likely a personality disorder but figured some types are more prone on the whole to tendencies of some of these disorders and because these people have so many similarities showing the same patterns it might be linked to a type. They seem to extraverted to be IEI's i was wondering if it were SEE's or SLE's. does anyone else have people showing similar patterns that they are definite on the typing for?

and lol never heard of the band suicidal tendencies.

[KeroZen]

I think they're mentally disturbed IEIs. And in serious need of professional help.

Holy crap you never miss an occasion to attack any particular type!

I think they're mentally disturbed regardless of their type. Nuance.

[Aleksei]

Holy crap you never miss an occasion to attack any particular type!

I didn't say IEIs are mentally disturbed by definition...

@Flatfoot- IEIs are actually fairly extroverted for introvert types -- particularly Fe subtypes.

[Crispy]

@Flatfoot- IEIs are actually fairly extroverted for introvert types -- particularly Fe subtypes.

No introverted type is generally more extroverted than any other introverted type.
Fe subtype in 2 subtype system has absolutely nothing to do with introversion/extroversion. It applies only to rational/irrational dichotomy and makes Fe-INFps Regulated Irrationals.
Two mistakes in one short sentence... when will this end?

[Creepy-male]

Basically it starts out like this...they get a boyfriend, everything in their life is happy and wonderful.

Alright...

They are way over the top with how they imagine this relationship to be, idealising it and holding it as the biggest romance of the last century. (how could anyone be in love as strongly and passionately as them? is how they see it in their heads.)

Yea well that's typical who doesn't want to over-idealize something, its nice, as long as you realize reality deals you the cards and not your imagination.

But the thing is everyone can see their relationship is nothing like that.

Yea once again reality, the problem is in distinguishing between fantasy and reality and not the fantasy.

People have the right to dream, only cynical 50 year old men that smoke while on oxygen tell people they don't, usually it involves something like "You want to have a perfect romance, well all I wanted was to walk the rest of my life, but after I got back from nam, I can't even do that"

And it can happen so fast, with almost anyone when its obvious they dont actually click and the relationship is one-sided and all focused on how they feel about it.

Welcome to the real world of relationships, men do that stuff to I'm sure, idealized romance is a nice idea, but in reality life is mostly a clusterfuck of people being assholes to each other.

They dive full course into relationships in a sexual way and tell EVERYONE in detail about it.

Lol where are these people.... god damn, no one ever has anything this interesting to tell me.

They claim their boyfriends like territory and tell everyone about it to show others that this man is 'theirs' and how much he loves them etc.

Yea the whole boy-toy thing.... lol, that's the male counterpart to men calling women whores.

The guy soon realises hes been claimed but sticks around a little longer for the sex...

Exactly, that's what any guy would do... I don't mean to sound cynical but I think men are attracted into relationships by sex... ideally one would hope there would be more to it, but the driving impetus that makes men interact with women is sex, and whenever men's ideals of romance fall short, sex is reverted to, sometimes men develop such cynicism against manipulative women that they just become chauvinistic assholes, MOB, Bros before bitchs, etc etc etc.

Then the relationship starts to go sour, they cling to their boyfriend no matter what he does and start to self harm as a tool to try keep him around.

This part in particular echoes the whole borderline thing others have mentioned. This is another problem they probably need to realize. Get a little self-respect, and learn to cut off bad relationships. I think the mentality is that they are afraid to be alone and don't want to be out of a relationship and find another so they'd rather stick with a bad one. Of course the worst among people know this and use it to manipulate others... and not just in relationships but in work. You can get a person to submit to you the more you convince them they are worthless and no opportunity exists for them, that's why its important to cultivate internal confidence. You have to be selective in the world about who has the right to judge you, they must earn your respect before they can be your teacher. Unfortunately on a global scale this is not how people are taught, they are taught to submit to authority without question, hence how borderline personality appears as an issue people have.

They also start coming up with stories about being raped, becoming pregnant or going to hospital etc for various reasons. They starve themselves saying maybe he'll love me if im skinnier or realise how much i miss him and need him. In the end they start acting like those psycho ex-girlfriends you see on movies!!

Yea this is bad

Does anyone have any idea what type people like this could be?

I can't really give any socionics based typing... I think its unfair to characterize any type to such unhealthy tendencies.

I think Thanks Arthur! was closest in saying borderline personality disorder...

I think what they need is a paradigm change in the way they see the world, I bet if you dug up their history they'd be the type of person who grew up with strict parents, was taught to submit to authority, and so forth. Their parents probably would bitch them out when they failed at something and would pay them with money whenever they succeeded, they learned that love is conditional or something and whenever something didn't meet their expectations in a relationship they probably tried to search for a condition to make it work.... its hard to say.

I've never had to encounter this with anyone I've ran across, but if I did, what I would do is wage total war against them, ruthlessly and directly point out how they are being pathetic, if they tried to play the victim I would punch through the bullshit in 0.0001 seconds and get down to the heart of the issue, at which point I'd tell them they need to have confidence and be more assertive, and most importantly that they are better than how they are acting.

Anyways I don't know if that would work, because I'm not an expert, but I just felt like interjecting my opinion... because that's what I do with virtually everything. I definitely wouldn't advise doing what I said I would do though, mainly because if you do it wrong, they will kill themselves extremely quick because they will just see you as another person victimizing them.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Self-esteem is an illusion. Everybody is too much of a mixture of self-confident and insecure things for me to believe that 'just believing in yourself' is the answer. And frankly, you can be very successful in this world while still having all sorts of childish fears and delusions.

When somebody has problems, it's almost always they have the incorrect information about something. They just don't know. It's very rarely that there's a psychological issue behind it.

But people are idiots, they like to feel better than other people so they project and assume somebody is having low self-confidence when really, they're just having the wrong education.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

And also fuck you. =D

I'm IEI. I have my moments of doubt. I get insecure and down about myself like everybody else. I never wanted to kill myself though.

Just because I don't wear a business suit and walk around like the king of the jungle like fuckin straight boys that like hockey, and just because I'm not a prick to others, doesn't mean that I have low self-esteem. Just because I let people go their own way and don't try to control them like an alpha male douche bag... Confusing compassion and nonsociopathy with low self-esteem. fuckin dumb americans.

[Creepy-male]

Who are you referring to BnD?

All I know is that self-esteem is a tricky issue, there is internal and external self-esteem.

Internal self-esteem is between you and your inner observer, its what happens when you review something you've done and beat yourself up for being stupid and feeling insecure about you as an individual.

External self-esteem is between you and the world, its what happens when you feel low because of the way the world is treating receiving you. For example, you may feel bad because people call you worthless on the job and your boss treats you like shit.

They are honestly two different things.. just think

High Internal Self Esteem, Low External Self Esteem
--> Someone who feels victimized by the others, the media, comes across egocentric, artistic, involved inner world

Low Internal Self Esteem, High External Self Esteem
--> Someone who feels good when their image is good, narcissistic, hyper-competitive, dynamic, socially confident, charisma

True confidence lies between these two things, when your observations about your self match up to reality. When this remains out of balance, it causes imbalance, like shifting fault lines beneath an earthquake on the surface.

I personally am not saying anyone should act like a douchebag alpha male king of the jungle, all I am saying is that they should have balance between their inner-selves and the outer world, and when the outer world is treating some girl like shit and she begins to believe within herself that she deserves it, I see that as wrong, no person deserves to be treated like shit, and that requires building internal self esteem, which as you have said isn't because she is at fault but rather because of poor education.

[Satan]

And also fuck you. =D

I'm IEI. I have my moments of doubt. I get insecure and down about myself like everybody else. I never wanted to kill myself though.

Just because I don't wear a business suit and walk around like the king of the jungle like fuckin straight boys that like hockey, and just because I'm not a prick to others, doesn't mean that I have low self-esteem. Just because I let people go their own way and don't try to control them like an alpha male douche bag... Confusing compassion and nonsociopathy with low self-esteem. fuckin dumb americans.

you are a prick to others. not only that but you're a prick to yourself.