Dual-seeking Behaviors, organized

[VixenDogFox]

Can someone who is knowledgeable and skilled in this area please post a nice list of dual-seeking behaviors as per each type?

Like say EIE's dual-seeking looks like THIS (describe) and so forth, and just do it down the whole list of 16 types. That would be amazingly helpful!

[MatthewZ]

ESE dual-seeking behavior: Asking someone knowledgeable to explain things to them concisely.

[717495]

Ti-ILE - being mentally exciting and interesting--in a weird imaginative way, coming up with unusual points of view, creating crazy/untraditional/inventive ideas and objects for (that the dual cherishes, if even privately), being inspirational, loyal, silent-toddler-ish, randomly surprising, unpredictable, practically needy, awkward, and in the best of chances, fun or pretend mind fun
Fe-SEI - being inspirational, friendly/open, and accepting, noticing things, showing me things, talking openly about their ethical POVs and view of self (appreciated, but not sparked by me, sparked more by daily problems and others' questions), doing practical things/sensing action and steps for me, having goofy attractive quirks that they either emphasize a lot, or don't notice at all, interested in personality and style in a positive way, sometimes too social and busy for me, independent, but still in a way that is worthy

Idk. I'm just explaining things I see personality wise, but based more on interaction, that I like, and things that come out in me around my dual more, and that are accepted, or something.

There are lots of things I don't know about though, that could very well be included in my future interactions, or things I'm forgetting, that would make the list seem more even or circular.

[matilda]

(not sure if this is Fe or Fi) dual seeking: showing affection to animals and kids

[Krig the Viking]

Can someone who is knowledgeable and skilled in this area please post a nice list of dual-seeking behaviors as per each type?

Like say EIE's dual-seeking looks like THIS (describe) and so forth, and just do it down the whole list of 16 types. That would be amazingly helpful!

Well, I think your own post there is a pretty good example of Ti Dual-Seeking...

But just to clarify -- are you asking about how each element manifests in the Suggestive function, or how each type goes about trying to attract their Duals?

[717495]

This was the exact behavior of my Ti-ENTp ex. So you're saying he didn't do this for ME??? It was all just dual-seeking stuff? Aww, nuts! :frown:

Well I'm exactly like that with the Fe-ISFp, but the context for me is more low-key and serious. I'm not really over the top or thinking in humor or ways to get laughs, and I take myself too seriously a lot, sort of restrict myself. I guess this goes against the idea of ILE. And I'm just saying I'm other things too, but around someone like you who could be my girlfriend, for example, and dual-ish, then it would make sense for me to be more expressive, because I'm appreciated, but I'm saying this because I'm at that stage. If I feel more settled and relaxed, then duality will be much better, and will be experienced with just friends and acquaintences. ENTps have Fe-HA so its all the same, if you appreciate them, their best side comes out.

[Jarno]

Can someone who is knowledgeable and skilled in this area please post a nice list of dual-seeking behaviors as per each type?

Like say EIE's dual-seeking looks like THIS (describe) and so forth, and just do it down the whole list of 16 types. That would be amazingly helpful!

yes:

dual seeking is not active seeking behaviour.

the gave the name dual seeking function because it get's lit like a lightbulb whenever you notice SOMEONE ELSE expressing that function.

since you are in a dual relationship, you must know what I'm talking about. Remember that you had to giggle at times when your boyfriend said something surprisingly interesting. That's when you get a hit on your 5th function. You don't actively use it, just passively. (it's an accepting function)

[jewels]

For ENFp, asking a lot of Te kinds of questions. "I wonder what city we're driving through now." "How much air can you put in your tires without them exploding?" "What does that road sign mean?" Or "How do those walk-in tax places work? I wonder if it's a good idea to go there or if it's a scam."

Or Si, acting kind of whiny or complaining a bit. "I'm getting so tired." Or "I think my stomach is growling." Or "hug me!!"

[Brilliand]

since you are in a dual relationship, you must know what I'm talking about. Remember that you had to giggle at times when your boyfriend said something surprisingly interesting. That's when you get a hit on your 5th function. You don't actively use it, just passively. (it's an accepting function)

The base function is accepting too.

Any desire will eventually result in behaviors intended to meet that desire. But at that point this becomes a question relevant to current culture and the like, which makes it rather difficult to answer.

The fact that she isn't actually asking about the seeking function makes it easier, I suppose...

[717495]

Jarno makes an interesting point, in that I never from experience could pick up on any "seeking" activity, that dual-seeking was never the term I would use, but accepting, welcoming, or more along the lines of appreciating, loving, and needing.

[matilda]

Se: when they are so sure, so convinced about things. when they stick to their guns. when they are certain they are right (even if they're not). when they are resolute. I admire + kinda leech this attitude off of them

Ti: when they explain things. when they make associations, simplifying an idea to a form that my brain can digest.

[Suz]

For ENFp, asking a lot of Te kinds of questions. "I wonder what city we're driving through now." "How much air can you put in your tires without them exploding?" "What does that road sign mean?" Or "How do those walk-in tax places work? I wonder if it's a good idea to go there or if it's a scam."

Or Si, acting kind of whiny or complaining a bit. "I'm getting so tired." Or "I think my stomach is growling." Or "hug me!!"

Really?? I thought that was more Si ego -like. My impression is that Ne types dont notice such things quite as well. e.g. If i'm tired or hungry, i'll get irritable or my thinking goes haywire and i'll get frustrated with what i'm doing or with someone I'm talking to before I actually notice that what i really need to do is sleep or eat.

The Te part i do agree with--I'm a googler for all sorts of random questions! And I wonder the same things about the tax places

[silverchris9]

IEIs seek Se by asking for instruction and picking fights (with people we know won't hurt us too badly). IEIs also seek Se by going to places where there will be a lot of stimulation and a lot of clear cut orders/decisions which we know we can carry out and thereby be useful.
SLEs seek Ni by reading stories, going to movies, pursuing overarching religious, cultural, and even political narratives, seeking sublimity. Every SLE I know loves overarching narratives and sublimities, be they in music or in religion or in literature or in other art. SLEs like to be persuaded or convinced, precisely because they are so hard to persuade and/or convince.

[Jarno]

The base function is accepting too.

yes, but not uncounscious. accepting is passive uncounscious is passive. dual seeking is extremely passive. all that bull crap about how people seek is just pure speculation. When you start observing how it manifests in yourself, you'll notice you don't actively seek, you just light up when noticing it in others.

[Brilliand]

Really?? I thought that was more Si ego -like. My impression is that Ne types dont notice such things quite as well. e.g. If i'm tired or hungry, i'll get irritable or my thinking goes haywire and i'll get frustrated with what i'm doing or with someone I'm talking to before I actually notice that what i really need to do is sleep or eat.

I recall realizing a while back that when I think of myself as ILI, it's because I'm depressed, and when I'm depressed, it's because I'm hungry.

On that note, I just remembered that I've been hungry for about half an hour, and should really go eat something now.

[silverchris9]

LIIs seek Fe by responding favorably and excitedly to emotional energy; laughing at people's jokes, prompting people to tell stories and talk about themselves.
LSIs seek Fe by doing or saying something provocative in the hopes of receiving an emotional response (SLEs do this too, but LSIs are more deliberate about it).
ESEs, as we see, seek Ti by asking for concise explanations, offering information which they hope will be categorized and ordered for them.
EIEs seek Ti by looking for clear-cut rules on how to do x, or how to do y (understanding a process). My EIE friend, for instance, is a director, and he loves his Ti rule about making clumps on stage, which is that the difference between a clump and a line on stage is that in a line, shoulders are uniform and level (on at least one plane), and in a clump, shoulders are non-uniform and random in how one person's shoulder will be in front of another's. How do you make a clump? You move people's shoulders around so that it's random how one persons's shoulder is in front of another's.

ILIs seek Se by asking for displays of capability, I think. I really don't know much about gammas, I'm realizing.

[jewels]

Really?? I thought that was more Si ego -like. My impression is that Ne types dont notice such things quite as well. e.g. If i'm tired or hungry, i'll get irritable or my thinking goes haywire and i'll get frustrated with what i'm doing or with someone I'm talking to before I actually notice that what i really need to do is sleep or eat.

The Te part i do agree with--I'm a googler for all sorts of random questions! And I wonder the same things about the tax places

yeah, I had to learn to do the Si stuff myself from living alone for so many years. So now I notice if I feel frustrated w/ tasks, etc., I ask myself "am I hungry?" And then I eat. I really had to force myself to do it, but I'd realize I wasn't getting things done otherwise. Sometimes I will notice I need something, but blow it off because I'm lazy though. Especially drinking water. I'll be thirsty for hours w/o getting water, etc.

My ISTp ex doesn't always notice his own Si stuff. Often he'll get grumpy for a half hour before noticing he's hungry (and I tell him he is, and he ingores me, and then eats half of my food and then realizes). He is much more concerned w/ physical comfort like a soft bed, where as I don't care how soft/hard my bed is. I also will sit in weird postures for too long until limbs go numb, and he'd obsessed w/ his chair being perfect.

It's funny how we're not always perfect at even our ego block functions. The same way I can make a dumb decision about my future, despite knowing the possible Ne outcome.

[717495]

ILIs seek Se by asking for displays of capability, I think. I really don't know much about gammas, I'm realizing.

So Se types are the most capable of things?

[Suz]

yeah, I had to learn to do the Si stuff myself from living alone for so many years. So now I notice if I feel frustrated w/ tasks, etc., I ask myself "am I hungry?" And then I eat. I really had to force myself to do it, but I'd realize I wasn't getting things done otherwise. Sometimes I will notice I need something, but blow it off because I'm lazy though. Especially drinking water. I'll be thirsty for hours w/o getting water, etc.

My ISTp ex doesn't always notice his own Si stuff. Often he'll get grumpy for a half hour before noticing he's hungry (and I tell him he is, and he ingores me, and then eats half of my food and then realizes). He is much more concerned w/ physical comfort like a soft bed, where as I don't care how soft/hard my bed is. I also will sit in weird postures for too long until limbs go numb, and he'd obsessed w/ his chair being perfect.

It's funny how we're not always perfect at even our ego block functions. The same way I can make a dumb decision about my future, despite knowing the possible Ne outcome.

you broke up with him??? :frown: I'm so sorry to hear that. . .

Yeah i'm exactly the same way with eating and thirst as you described above (including the lazy part ).

Maybe Si-DS manifests in various sorts of ways because I am extremely picky about my sleeping comforts--I can only sleep well in my own bed, with the fan on to drown out sudden noises, at a comfy temperature (which varies), in complete darkness, with the knowledge that there aren't any insects that will crawl on me. Because of this I tend to not want to travel (even though I love exploring new places and cultures) because I can never get a good night's sleep elsewhere. Meanwhile the SLI i knew is able to make himself comfortable anywhere (from what I could tell).

[silverchris9]

So Se types are the most capable of things?

Well, not everything, but, for instance, my ILI friend said she wanted to see my little brother (SEE) drive, because she knew he'd be good at it (and he is, and better than me grumble grumble grumble).

[Brilliand]

Well, not everything, but, for instance, my ILI friend said she wanted to see my little brother (SEE) drive, because she knew he'd be good at it (and he is, and better than me grumble grumble grumble).

That's specifically a physical-action capability...

[silverchris9]

That's specifically a physical-action capability...

Yes... I'm sure there are others... generally Se is associated with capacity for achievement, success, getting one's way, achieving one's desire, etc. Thus the idea that ILIs dual-seek by asking for displays of capability. But I'm not nearly as confident about the ILI example as the others. Also, I think Se-leading types would be the most likely to want to constantly show their capability, do feats, etc. None of the Se-leading people I know are particularly humble, or at least, are particularly humble naturally (obviously any type can learn and manifest humility), and some of them are rather show-offs (like my little brother). So not just "physical-action capability". Granted, it's not likely to be some display of great prowess in solving a math problem, since SEEs are Ti-polr and ILIs are Te-creative, but I don't think it necessarily has to be physical in nature. It could be, "watch while I walk up to this waiter and smooth talk/pressure my way into getting us a great table." (not that an ILI would care especially much about something like that, but that's an example of a category of action that could be associated with an SEE demonstrating non-physical prowess).

[Brilliand]

But I really want to know what each type does in passively seeking their duals... I want a list.

But who has that information in the first place? Maybe Labcoat, Smilingeyes, Rick? Waaait a minute...

Suggestive function (copied from each element page):

The individual longs for close personal relationships where personal and private experiences can be shared easily in an atmosphere of mutual trust, sustained by shared sentiments and ethical beliefs that make external expression of emotions unnecessary. The individual is inclined to take first steps, but he is not confident of his ability to correctly evaluate the existence or status of such a relationship and therefore is attracted to persons who value clear and unambiguous personal relationships with others and who follow a clear set of ethical principles, which gives them credibility and makes them deserving of trust in the individual's eyes.

The individual tends not to consider whether people are friends or enemies or whether they feel good will or ill will towards them. Instead, he or she usually acts right from the start as if the other person were a friend or an enemy based on their prior knowledge of what the person does. This makes it possible to mistake a friend for an enemy and vice versa. Only gradually does the individual come to recognize what feelings others have for him, and there is always an element of doubt unless others express those feelings verbally and unambiguously and act in a way that clearly matches their stated feelings, over a sufficient period of time. The individual is easily made insecure about the status of personal relationships and needs frequent reassurance that the other person's feelings have not changed.

The individual is sheepish about expressing his personal feelings about people ("I find you really interesting" or "I like you a lot"), but responds very well to these statements, as if they were unexpected treats. Instead, the person tends to focus on whether others' behavior makes sense or not.

The individual has great respect and admiration for people with a well-developed and well elaborated system of views and behavior and longs to be more like them or to have constant access to their logic.

The individual seems largely unaware of the emotions, agitation, tension, or excitement he creates in others by the things he says and does. He also seems to fail to recognize whether he himself is having fun or is getting cranky, irritated, etc. The individual admires people who can create a lively atmosphere easily and jolt everyone out of their everyday drudgery. He can easily fit into a jolly group atmosphere of partying, jokes, and the like, despite otherwise often making an impression of being very "serious".

The individual is attracted to people seen as knowledgeable, as well as truthful and willing to share that knowledge, in matters seen as interesting and useful to the individual towards achieving productivity and efficiency. Reliable information rather than the finished analysis is what attracts the individual; facts and explanations, not answers limited to the conclusions. For the same reason, the individual avoids people who are inclined to give out unreliable or simply untruthful information.

The individual tends to neglect to think about the productivity of his actions and unconsciously relies on others to give him directions and advice about the best, most productive ways of doing things. He has difficulties measuring how much work he has done, whether it is sufficient, and how much it is actually worth. The individual admires people who are aware of the productivity of their actions and are always trying to do something rational and worthwhile.

The individual tends to be chronically unaware of his own bodily processes, including physiological sensations and a sense of balance and alignment with one's true desires. He sometimes has peculiar preferences or tastes, which he himself is unable to understand or fulfill.

The individual is attracted to people who are confident in their ability to evaluate where present trends are leading and to choose the opportune moment to initiate action, or to refrain from it. The individual is impulsive but at the same time desiring of not going too far in his impulsiveness and unsure of his own ability in this area, so people who are confident on how far to go and when to stop are admired and their company is desired. The individual also longs for a sense of greater meaning in his life beyond the immediately physical and enjoys the company of people who can show him the light in that area.

The individual is generally lacking in strong, immediate desires that would be able to drive his day-to-day actions and provide the motivation to overcome the petty obstacles in life. He seems to live in a state of permanent doubt and indecision, broken only by brief periods where external factors leave no choice but to take action.

He admires people who have strong desires and motivation, don't back down when faced with obstacles, demonstrate resolute will, and aren't afraid to do things on a whim and undertake challenging projects. It's much easier for him to know what to do around these people.

The individual has great respect and admiration for people who are always pursuing something new and different and are not tied down to material things. The person easily becomes attached to people who believe in their potential and praise them for their unique skills.

Hmm, not quite what you asked for. Somewhat relevant, though...

[Brilliand]

I still loved it! :redface:

Ah, excellent!

As any given type will vary widely in the superficial behaviors that each person prefers, we could call almost any behavior frequent in a type dual-attracting behavior.

[silverchris9]

The individual is generally lacking in strong, immediate desires that would be able to drive his day-to-day actions and provide the motivation to overcome the petty obstacles in life. He seems to live in a state of permanent doubt and indecision, broken only by brief periods where external factors leave no choice but to take action.

He admires people who have strong desires and motivation, don't back down when faced with obstacles, demonstrate resolute will, and aren't afraid to do things on a whim and undertake challenging projects. It's much easier for him to know what to do around these people.

Huh. I've always had strong desires, maybe not immediate, but I've certainly always worked hard to achieve goals. I worked my butt off to get into the college I wanted, I worked my butt off to learn how to sing, I worked (and am working) my butt off to learn how to act, I worked (and am working) my butt of to learn how to write poetry... Granted, I work by what I call "artificial Se" by constantly ensuring that there are external factors (and internal complexes) to pressure me into doing what I have to do. I give myself psychological complexes about failure and disapproval, then I make sure that I'm in situations where I have to do something or fail/receive disapproval. Granted even then, this results in me doing enough to do well but not to do as well as I possibly could on, well, everything (except performing and poetry; I guess that really mostly applies to school). Also, this is part of why I consider myself a potential IEI-C in the DCNH system (though I know I come off as IEI-H). But yeah, I don't know that the whole "not having strong and immediate desires" bit fits with me. It's more like I have (extremely) strong desires and make them immediate. I guess it is generally applicable to things besides my drive to succeed in school and such. Or maybe I just always had Se-egos around me. I guess my little brother is SEE, maybe I leeched Se off of him. There's a tiny chance my dad is LSI (but I'm pretty darn sold on LII).

[tiny_dancer]

I like the Si description. A sense of balance and alignment with my desires. I definitely wouldn't know how to get there.

[Suz]

I like the Si description. A sense of balance and alignment with my desires. I definitely wouldn't know how to get there.

same.

Though the absolute BEST Si-DS description has to be Rick's on his blog imo. It's long, detailed, and I identified with that 100%

[Suz]

yes:

dual seeking is not active seeking behaviour.

the gave the name dual seeking function because it get's lit like a lightbulb whenever you notice SOMEONE ELSE expressing that function.

since you are in a dual relationship, you must know what I'm talking about. Remember that you had to giggle at times when your boyfriend said something surprisingly interesting. That's when you get a hit on your 5th function. You don't actively use it, just passively. (it's an accepting function)

Does person A giggle when their dual (person B) fulfills person A's DS function, or does person A giggle when person B shows the weaknesses associated with person B's DS function? Or both?

I.e. does the DS function of person A make person B attracTED as well as attracTIVE to person A?

p.s. I think it IS possible to state manifestations of a DS function, because its' weakness does result in specific behaviors.

[Brilliand]

Some people would be less prone to giggle; I can think of times when I had the urge to giggle (for approximately the reason described in this thread), but I kept silent and considered by lack of an answer (with a slight smile on my face - this is what I tend to read :redface: as) to mean the same thing. I would describe those situations as... being pleased by whatever teasing had just taken place, but not having any idea how to proceed. The teasing would have been directed at me, otherwise I wouldn't have felt the need to respond at all.

So, WorkersAnon, I would say that it's both. Giggling indicates a sort of pleased vulnerability (super-id?); someone who is pleased and not vulnerable (ego?) can congratulate more directly, whereas someone who is vulnerable but not pleased (super-ego?) will probably hasten to build a wall.

Following that pattern, the id would correspond to "not vulnerable and not pleased," which would probably result in either retaliation or aloofness.

[Amber]

LIIs seek Fe by responding favorably and excitedly to emotional energy; laughing at people's jokes, prompting people to tell stories and talk about themselves.
LSIs seek Fe by doing or saying something provocative in the hopes of receiving an emotional response (SLEs do this too, but LSIs are more deliberate about it).
ESEs, as we see, seek Ti by asking for concise explanations, offering information which they hope will be categorized and ordered for them.
EIEs seek Ti by looking for clear-cut rules on how to do x, or how to do y (understanding a process). My EIE friend, for instance, is a director, and he loves his Ti rule about making clumps on stage, which is that the difference between a clump and a line on stage is that in a line, shoulders are uniform and level (on at least one plane), and in a clump, shoulders are non-uniform and random in how one person's shoulder will be in front of another's. How do you make a clump? You move people's shoulders around so that it's random how one persons's shoulder is in front of another's.

ILIs seek Se by asking for displays of capability, I think. I really don't know much about gammas, I'm realizing.

ILIs seek Se by being stubborn and level-headed about their ideas and not budging unless someone makes some 'display of force'. Via pure logic they can go on without being convinced to shift their arguments or their position.

I agree with LSI. LIIs usually make random and over-the-top imaginative jokes to reach the positive emotional energy they're looking for which can actually piss people off if they're not Alphas.

[Zero]

(not sure if this is Fe or Fi) dual seeking: showing affection to animals and kids

Could be Fi, I do this

[Suz]

you broke up with him??? :frown: I'm so sorry to hear that. . .

Yeah i'm exactly the same way with eating and thirst as you described above (including the lazy part ).

Maybe Si-DS manifests in various sorts of ways because I am extremely picky about my sleeping comforts--I can only sleep well in my own bed, with the fan on to drown out sudden noises, at a comfy temperature (which varies), in complete darkness, with the knowledge that there aren't any insects that will crawl on me. Because of this I tend to not want to travel (even though I love exploring new places and cultures) because I can never get a good night's sleep elsewhere. Meanwhile the SLI i knew is able to make himself comfortable anywhere (from what I could tell).

And posting 7 years later, that's probably because I'm Si ego lol.
And the "SLI" I was thinking of here probably wasn't SLI.