Originally Posted by
Smilingeyes
I think I have to take a detour from my earlier announced order of approaching things, though it is actually closer to what has been requested in this thread. Thing is, the discussion with labcoat gave me more insight into socionics. It's been a while since that's happened. Had to consider some things again. Had to take a few days. I think it would be correct to discuss direct duality now.
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Let's play jeopardy:
"Only the dual partnership"
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I'll approach it by a slightly longer route though. Direct activity partners always have the same net amount of intensity. While one person "gets it going" the other person becomes more withdrawn. One person always sort of drives and the other watches their back. But it's also a situation of one partner being sort of disinterested in what the other is doing. In a sense, the two aren't really working with the same project.
Let's put this a bit more in context. ENTj - ESFp, the ESFp is taciturn, process, static. They are engaged in a process which they feel as positive. This process is by inference activity of one sort or another. The static person feels good when they are engaged in a process of their own choice. They wish the process to continue.
Meanwhile the ENTj is a keen observer of results and based on the Ni worldview is able to appreciate and narrate the meaning of each individual action the ESFp does and gives positive feedback. They support each other's positivity but what happens here? Lack of criticism. Direction of each other's efforts to areas that are the most positive. The ENTj tries to string the ESFp along so as to maintain the mutually positive state. AND the ESFp wants the ENTj to keep doing this. Can this continue ad infinitum? No, it can't. And more to the point, it shouldn't.
What process takes a lifetime to accomplish and engages you constantly a 100% of your time? Maybe aging, hardly any other thing comes to mind. So basically, since the partners are causing consistent positive feedback they are using their resources to gain happiness. Circulus vitiosus. And thereby, pointless. There is no meaning to the relationship, except happiness. There is no growth. And while the partners perceive themselves as free, they are actually more or less captured by the situation since breaking away from the happiest path of activity conduct causes an instant decrease of mutual happiness, a breakdown. So the partners are actually tied down to a certain way of conduct, a certain role. One partner trapped in a process, one partner unable to start one of their own.
Let's also remind ourselves of the fact that mirror partners do not support, but rather compete with each other, as do conflict partners.
So then.
What relationship supports you, while not tying you down?
That is the correct question!
So then, what is this support like? I refer everyone to the cooperation between me and Minde in the socionics 101 thread. What is it based on? Functional cooperation while sharing the same state of involvedness. From Reinin criteria we know that the dynamic partner is happy in the very beginnings of projects and at the end, when they are not engaged as active person as of yet. The static partner is happy when they are engaged as an active person. The dynamic partner has difficulties with endurance, in continuing through the hard stretches of the projects. The static partner has difficulties in hatching and releasing projects.
When the two meet and trust each other, the dynamic partner will push the static partner over the difficulty of starting a project
. The static partner will push the dynamic partner during the long journey together. And the dynamic partner will call the journey to an end when its time is past.
Both partners cause the other to do things that are difficult, even frigtening and definitely unpleasant, but ones which have meaning and are correct.
The dual partnership is not about happiness. It's not even about harmony as much as it is a sort of tug of war. A sort of hegelian thesis-antithesis-synthesis thing. It is not about wanting to support the other or being drawn to the other, it is about inevitably supporting the other and needing the other. It is about progress. It is about success.
Thank you every one. I'm done. I feel much better now.