Originally Posted by
The Meaning of Life
HUMPHREY:
Ahh, well, as we all know all about foreplay, no doubt you can tell me what the purpose of foreplay is,... Biggs.
BIGGS:
Uhm-- Don't know. Sorry, sir.
HUMPHREY:
Carter.
CARTER:
Ah. Uhh, was it taking your clothes off, sir?
HUMPHREY:
Well, and-- and after that?
WYMER:
Ooh. Putting them on the lower peg, sir?
PUPILS:
[chuckling]
[whop]
HUMPHREY:
The purpose of foreplay is to cause the vagina to lubricate, so that the penis can penetrate more easily.
WATSON:
Could we have a window open, please, sir?
HUMPHREY:
Yes. Harris, will you? And, of course, to cause the man's penis to erect and har... den! [sniff] Now, did I do vaginal juices last week? Oh, do pay attention, Wadsworth! I know it's Friday after-- Oh, watching the football, are you boy? Right! Move over there. I'm warning you! I may decide to set an exam this term.
WATSON:
Oh, sir.
BIGGS:
Oh, sir.
PUPILS:
Oh, sir...
HUMPHREY:
So, just listen. Now, did I or did I not... do... vaginal... juices?
PUPILS:
Mmm. Mmm. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
HUMPHREY:
Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson.
WATSON:
R-- rubbing the clitoris, sir?
HUMPHREY:
What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.
WYMER:
Suck the nipple, sir?
HUMPHREY:
Good! Good. Well done, Wymer.
DUCKWORTH:
Uh, stroking the thighs, sir.
HUMPHREY:
Yes. Yes, I suppose so. Hmm?
PUPIL IN FRONT:
Oh, sir. Biting the neck.
HUMPHREY:
Yes. Good. Nibbling the earlobe, uhh, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris, Watson.
WATSON:
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.