Originally Posted by
Venus Rose
I have an extremely awkward situation going on. I am not sure where to post this so...
I feel like one of my professors is attracted to me. I am not at all attracted to him, and have no interest. However, i would really like to work with him in his lab in order to gain research experience. I have had good grades in his class, and I get the feeling that he admires me and appreciates my point of view. There are very few professors at the school I am currently at, and I don't want to let go of one that I have a good rapport with, since that would really come handy when applying for grad schools, with the recommendation letters and such. He is also my advisor, so there's no avoiding that.
What makes this difficult is that I am quite certain he is likely LSE, which would make me his dual. I feel bad like have I done something wrong, given off the wrong vibes etc. that would have contributed to this? I also feel terrible because I get that instinctive slight disgust response...not overtly disgusted or anything, just the unconscious feeling you get of being slightly put-off if you get those vibes from someone you are not interested in. He hasn't done anything wrong, nor have I, but I feel bad because of the duality, the psychological distance is very shortened, and there's practically nothing I can hide that I would otherwise be able to do in an interaction with most people. He can sense my repulsion I think, and I feel really bad about it because he hasn't done anything wrong. It's just an awkward situation...
Just to re-iterate: by repulsion I don't mean something horrible, it's just a natural feeling of not wanting to be close to someone in that way, when you are not attracted to them. Like I said before, he hasn't done anything wrong at all.
There's also the problem with me being SX first and being open in that way generally and I am comfortable with that, however in his case I have to consciously work on turning that kind of openness completely off. I am afraid if I slip up would that be bad, like I would accidentally lead him on or anything like that, and I really don't want to do that.
Anyways, I feel awkward and tense about this situation, but I also don't want to let go of an opportunity where I have a good rapport with a professor. I am not sure what to do - would interacting with him or working in his lab be wrong or unethical, in this case?