A montage of various ENFp's including Dinki, Sirena, Jewels (for self-typed ENFp comparison) and Mimosa:


Haha sorry, for ANOTHER thread on IEI loving. !

But I really need your help

How does an IEI act when they are attracted to someone?

How do they act when they are falling in love with someone/love someone?

I know that I am one, LOL but different IEIs and all...I can't work it out .

Should I give examples for psych 101ing?



Thankyou!

Depends in what way I like someone.... Not that I'm out there looking for love anymore, but back when I was, I think this is how I acted:

If I was "only" sexually attracted, I used to pretend to be SLE, and tried to impress him. I'd often make the first step, and be a lot more active and aggressive than I normally am.

If I just "liked" someone, but weren't really interested in anything more than to be liked back, I'd try to be "my best". Normal. And loveable. But I'd dogde any invitations from his side by talking it away.

If I was in love, I often went a bit more quiet. But relaxed. All focus on him, not on me, so I lost the self awareness I usually have/had. I bet I could sit and stare for hours. Or even close my eyes and just be in the moment. And I almost became a bit passive. And somehow dreamy. Or so happy I felt sad. Maybe naive, even? And when I spoke to them, I ended up expressing my surprise at the feelings I had completely honestly by saying really strange things like "I hear music in my head when I meet you" or "I feel like I'm floating in a beautiful city made of glass and crystal when we are together".

I think I am falling in love with my IEI friend. But I couldn't say sure because I have never felt myself falling in love before.

I feel as though I have just woken up. As though everything is different, as though I am like my old self, but far better. And he doesn't just see pieces of me or what he wants to see, he sees everything. It's like all the walls melt away and I feel so alive, nobody has made me feel like this before.

I completely understand what you other IEIs are talking about.

I don't know if he wants me (that's scaring the shit out of me) but it's too late to leave him now, I am all caught up .

What does falling in love feel like? Or is this just the way being with another IEI feels?

It breaks my heart, I know I should not want this, I know this will combust one way or another, but I don't care. Maybe sometimes you just have to say fuck the system and be with the person that makes you feel alive.



Awww, dinki, you're in love!!!

(And, technically, that means you are projecting loads of good qualities onto this guy that in reality aren't there.... BUT! if you really love him, you can forgive anything, and then why not an IEI? Identical relationships are said to be the second most likely to succeed....! )

Hope your IEI is in love with you too!! Tell him what you feel, and you'll find out.... IEIs sometimes need a bit to accept their feelings, you know

And I don't think IEIs are doomed - I love identity! The crazy thing about IEI-IEI is that ... well... both parts have the same wish to lose themselves in the other. And that gets so damn intense it's almost TOO much. But why on earth would it be bad? Aren't YOU just the nicests and most loving and loyal person? Wouldn't it be nice to be with someone like ... you? And if you wonder how he'll react, just check your own feelings.

Hmm... Is it an IEI thing to not fall in love too often? I thought I couldn't fall in love until I fell hard for the first time at 23. I was so shocked (or terrified?) by the feeling I couldn't tell him, even if he probably was just as much in love with me (he visited me every week-end, even if he lived in another city, 3 hours drive away.... I must have been blind? ) It took 7 years to get over him. (he was ILI)

The second time I fell in love, I told the guy immediately, like 10 seconds after I realized. I was so afraid of making the same mistake again.


Not attracted to your duals? Well maybe you haven't been around someone to see how it works? It's more than just mannerisms or how they talk or how they look, etc. The interaction itself between the two of you can really draw you in. But you need to experience that to see how it works...

I find that when I see Si, for example, it attracts me. Not every person is going to be "attractive" to you physically, or how they smell or whatever, but all things being equal, if there are 2 guys and one is making me more comfortable, and the other isn't, then it's clear to me who I'll be drawn to.

In the past I actually was super attracted to a couple of guys who my friends couldn't understand why I was dating. One guy wasn't "conventionally attractive" and seemed grumpy and not very sociable, so my friends were like ???? But he was an ESTj (under stress), so he didn't want to go out because he was so tired (was getting like a few hours sleep a night). But alone he'd always treat me nicely when we were hanging out and he had a lot of Si, so I was always wrapped in a blanket or something like that and always felt really comfy. My point is that I was super attracted to him when if he didn't make me feel comfortable like that, I don't think I would have been.

I remember the opposite happening w/ an INTp...he bought me a couple drinks and then wanted to go on a long walk...I said I needed to pee and he made jokes that I could go on the street. It was a looong time before we came back and found a bathroom. And then we never got any food and hung out for a long time until I was so dizzy I felt like I was going to pass out. In the end I was really pissed off that he didn't focus on making me feel comfortable, etc. So I ended up tired, hungry, w/ a headache and I absolutely hate being far from a restroom in that situation...so all in all, despite him being, as my friends said, "gorgeous" and about 6'3" and a "respected" job, I felt absolutely NO attraction for him. I didn't want to see him again.

I'm just saying the personality stuff is powerful, because it's how someone else can make you feel that attracts you also...or repels you

I must say you guys are way off on the VI this time though! There's no way mr. cutie pie here is SLI or SEI. He's the extrovert out of the two of us. I'll give more info later.

JuJu, are you out there? What say you?

Sort of a cute story: He and I have known each other since 7th grade (14 yrs ago!). We went to middle and high school together, but never spoke more than a couple of words throughout the years. Totally different universes, given the high school cliques and all that. We've recently reconnected after 8 years of no contact whatsoever (since high school graduation).


<3<3 JuJu thanks

Dudes, I will try to get more pics to post. I currently have one with friends but it is really really small. I'll post anyway.

OK, so like I said, I've known this guy forever but don't really know him know him. So far we've been on one date through which I was absolutely convinced he was SLE. I even wrote this really long post about the experience the day after, which I unfortunately () proceeded to delete by accident (). Still mad about that. We ended up hanging out for 5 hrs, so it obviously went really well. I know some of you will say that's because I'm IEE blah blah blah, but whatever, I'm not, so. If he isn't a Beta ST, my only other explanation is my almost instant attraction for all STs, at least initially. Then things sort of get weird after a while if they're not Fe valuing. But yeah, I'm incredibly attracted to STs from the get-go, I think because I immediately notice a harder edge in them vs. F types or whatever (probably Se seeking). Then they either disappoint me by failing to give me Se or I go "".

I'll know more when I see him again, which won't be for another couple of weeks since I'll be out of the country for about 11 days after today. He's already made special reservation to see me as soon as I get back though!