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Thread: Your mum's description of you

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    Default Your mum's description of you ...

    How does your mother describe your personality? :-P

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    .

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    My mom's perception of me is somebody that needs to work harder and put more effort into things. She says I don't 'show my strength' enough. I'd rather be passive and have other people take care of me though. I view independence as vastly overrated. It only makes me feel good if people are praising me for being independent, not for the sake of independency itself. That's just not how I get my sense of self-confidence. I have had the opposite of Diana's problems. They wanted me to ignore my deep, emo feelings and 'just do it anyway.' But I'd get frustrated with them because that's just not how I operate. I had to do things more gentle than most people, and also check out a lot of stuff first before acting, even simple things. I also liked a lot of guidance and input before making decisions. This is a natural trait, but yeah sometimes it can get too out of hand.

    They would push me too hard, and I'd fail. I'd constantly tell them how I needed more time, but they insisted I was too whiny, or that I just wasn't 'believing in myself' enough, or not being brave enough. But it had nothing whatsoever to do with those things. I tried to tell them that but they just would not get it. They thought I had low self-esteem but that wasn't quite right either. Then I finally realized nobody was a mind reader and can only really judge you based on external behaviors. So I did it any way just to get other people to like me and get off my back a little, but still for myself it didn't do anything and probably never will. I took a lot of activities once in high school and I was extremely respected and well-liked, but then again I also had trouble sleeping and such and had no sense of balance.

    I love talking about sex and intimacy, they don't. I get their point, but I find them waaaay too uptight and conservative/neurotic. I'm basically much more liberal than they are. I just got in a huge fight with mom because she thinks it's inappropriate for my niece to walk around naked. I was outraged at this, and I considered that being a pervert for sexualizing children. They don't seem to know how to separate nudity from sex. They just seem way too tense and not in touch with their erotic bodies enough. But me, I've always kinda just been the withdrawn weird sexual one. =D They don't like it that I'm so laid back, so I get teased a lot to shock me up. Sometimes I'll take the bait and sometimes I won't.

    They're typical white folk that have no sense of rhythm though. I tried to learn music and stuff to counter this, but I wasn't supported so I quit because it was hard for me to do something for myself if somebody wasn't giving me 'attaboys.' But as I'm getting older and studying enneagram, I realize that my growth process is simply trusting my own gut.

    They seemed scared of sex. I was always curious about it. I got told I overstepped my boundaries a lot. Like 'that's none of your business Sam.' That may or may not be true, but to me people only do bad stuff sexually out of repression, not expression. Plus when I described some things I saw they never believed me. Also we are sheltered in different ways and scared of too many different things to get along. But they did the best job they knew how. I still consider 'family' as somebody you choose, not blood though.

    That's interesting Diana. I'm such a type B personality though. I like as little effort as possible, don't like challenging myself, and it was hard for me to succeed in even the bare minimum stuff. I wasn't that social growing up either though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    Hmm. Responsible, humorless (she used to anyway, I think maybe she's finally realizing I do have a sense of humor, it's just not the same as hers, ha), conscientious, logical, honest, tense, competitive, too independent, strong, won't ask for or accept help enough, not open enough, stubborn, not quick enough to forgive.

    Basically someone who does everything for herself and succeeds, but should ask for more help, and be more open and vulnerable, and not so stiff, and stop keeping people at arm's length.

    She's also said that I'm wonderful and amazing, and a hero to her, and has handled things in my life better than she would have been able to (I don't think this is true, she's pretty incredible herself), very tough, a good mom, and she's proud of me.
    do we have the same mom and or are we the same person???? lol the only thing she would add is too impulsive and bit too much about the "meaning" of everything. everything else you said including how she says i'm wonderful, a hero to her NOW and wishes she did things the way i am doing with my kids...i couldn't have written a better list for what my mom would say about me.

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    What are your mums' types? ... the four of you

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    stubborn, logical, disorganized, able to lead, administrative

    I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm some sort of MBTI INTP or ENTP or something. I don't think she sees me as an F type.
    INFj

    9w1 sp/sx

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    She says I'm funny.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    What are your mums' types? ... the four of you
    i'm not sure of mine because i'm unsure of my own (we are a lot alike but i've done some growing in my life that she hasn't)....but, i'd have to say possibly gamma. she's kinda a mixture of the gammas here...joy, discojoe, diana, khamelion, put them all together and that's my mom. she definitely values Se, Te and Fi. she's kind of oblivious to Ni though.

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    My mother thinks I'm a "ball-buster." She thinks other things, too, but I can't say I disagree with that one.
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    She says I'm funny.
    aww :-P

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    My mother thinks I'm a "ball-buster."
    LOL, not my balls please...
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    aww :-P
    Yeah... how cute.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    funny, mean (while she laughs), and too strong. She's an ISFp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    funny, mean (while she laughs), and too strong. She's an ISFp.
    "Strong" in what way?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    "Strong" in what way?

    she probably meant stubborn. She would agree with "if you don't bend, you will break". Her boss used to tell her that i looked intimidating/scary. She is probably ExFp.
    Last edited by Ms. Kensington; 11-03-2008 at 03:21 AM. Reason: more

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    she probably meant stubborn. She would agree with "if you don't bend, you will break".
    Yeah, I get that one too.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Yeah, I get that one too.
    i'd just be sitting on the other side of the room and my sis' friends were afraid of me. i didn't even know it. she told me later after we were grown up.

    i was also the bodyguard to the girls in grade school, the girly girls that the boys wanted to pull their skirts up. i didn't wear skirts.

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    Very bright, capable of rising high in an organization, able to be liked by everyone which she associates with my being easy going and always having my heart in the right place as she sees it, great listener, quietly funny, very tolerant and understanding of others, capable of seeing what's going on beyond the obvious, knowledgeable about all sorts of things, a good person to come to for advice.

    It's a pretty glowing description and I'm not sure if she doesn't see my flaws or simply doesn't tell me what she thinks. However, she isn't really one to not bring up something she sees that gets on her nerves. Her estimation of me is probably overly positive. My lack of motivation or initiative might bother her slightly at times. In general though, the things about me that I tend to obsess and see as my most significant weaknesses she disregards as being pretty much unimportant.
    Moonlight will fall
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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    i was also the bodyguard to the girls in grade school, the girly girls that the boys wanted to pull their skirts up. i didn't wear skirts.
    I was the bodyguard to the guys who were quiet and minded their own business but got bullied by others.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    I was the bodyguard to the guys who were quiet and minded their own business but got bullied by others.
    my husband never got bullied because he was sooooo tall. that alone scared off any offenders. that and he has this look on his face when he's not smiling that looks like a serial killer.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    my husband never got bullied because he was sooooo tall. that alone scared off any offenders. that and he has this look on his face when he's not smiling that looks like a serial killer.
    LOL
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    my mil described my hubby as smart but didnt do anything with it, what SHE wanted him to do with it. sensitive, not living up to his potential...she wanted him to do "great" things, but he is a simple man with simple pleasures that she saw as "beneath" her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    my mil described my hubby as smart but didnt do anything with it, what SHE wanted him to do with it. sensitive, not living up to his potential...she wanted him to do "great" things, but he is a simple man with simple pleasures that she saw as "beneath" her.
    Hmm, sounds a lot like me.

    As a matter of fact, it sounds like something my mother would say (about me).
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Hmm, sounds a lot like me.

    As a matter of fact, it sounds like something my mother would say (about me).
    what type is your mom?

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    Quote Originally Posted by dbmmama View Post
    what type is your mom?
    Fe EJ. Prolly EIE-Fe.
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Winterpark View Post
    Fe EJ. Prolly EIE-Fe.
    i knew it! I AM NOT EIE then! my MIL was!!! her and unefille are so much alike! yes, thank you WP! i am so excited now. this has truly helped me see this all more clearly.

    really looking at the relationships and how they work, like this, is exactly what i needed.

    joy was right. my mil was the EIE! wow! the rest of my family has just clicked into place.

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    My mother (ESE) describes me as (generally): neurotic, ambitious, inattentive to daily tasks and my physical well-being, manic, cold, paradoxical, decisive but erratic, proud, combative but pathologically well-mannered, excessively defensive of my independence; deeply empathic but not particularly caring, forceful but too sensitive, and inspirational. She thinks I think too much, live in my head too much and have problems with letting down my guard; she worries that I can't live for the moment and I will regret that in the future.
    ()
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    Quote Originally Posted by unefille View Post
    she worries that I can't live for the moment and I will regret that in the future.
    LOL @ the irony
    EII; E6(w5)

    i am flakey

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ritella View Post
    LOL @ the irony
    Ja, indeed!
    ()
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    my mom thinks i'm gay
    Is she having a gay day?
    “Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust.”

    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly
    You've done yourself a huge favor developmentally by mustering the balls to do something really fucking scary... in about the most vulnerable situation possible.

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    my mother thinks i'm not very nice and that i have black and white thinking

    my father thinks my thinking isn't as polarised as it was when i was younger, and that i've calmed down a lot

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    I can't do anything wrong in my mom's eyes. Smart and overachieving are the two she most often tells me. Overachieving? L-O-L. I'll take it though. I think she only says I'm smart because I know how to operate a computer...which is the ultimate sign of intelligence.

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    I know my mom thinks I'm smart, but other than that, I have no idea.
    IEE

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    My mom says I'm perfectionist, not sure where that comes from but she sees that in me, guess its due to the fact I'm always saying I don't know enough, while she sees me as super smart (heh, moms , gotta love them) as oposed to my brother who always says he knows everything while often doesn't know a thing. She says I'm fair, lazy but talented, kind-hearted, not someone who would get over other people heads to reach something, stubborn, not following anyone advices (she tries to suggest things from time to time but I end up doing whats best for me anyway). She says I'm messy.

    Heh, I remembered she also always trusted me to divide things for the family, like a box of strawberries and such, I would always divide it in equal parts for everyone and wouldn't eat even one.

    That's about as much as I know what she thinks about me, she loves me too much I think to have an unbiased opinion anyway .
    Last edited by Simon Ssmall; 11-03-2008 at 02:35 PM.
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    oh yes, i'm the worst pig she's ever known. she hoped me going in the military would have "straightened" me out about that. but, it's only been through having numerous kids that the stuff piles up too much to actually play. (and it's still not very good)

    i always liked this saying "excuse the mess, child development in progress." meaning to me, "cleaning up is the last on my priorities, crank the music, let's dance!"

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    What an interesting topic!

    My mother (most likely EIE) pushed me extremely hard as a child and as a teenager. Although she was never mean or cruel, I always got the impression that although I had done well, I could have done better.
    When I moved out her attitude toward me changed a lot. I think she felt like she had done all that she could do and it was up to me to make my own decisions and solve my own problems. She has become increasingly supportive and positive, which I can't say I mind.
    I know she is proud of me for working on my Master's instead of running away to explore the world at nineteen.
    I think she might still be a little disappointed that I did not follow her plan for my life and pursue playing the harp professionally.
    She has always told me that I am incredibly smart and that I will achieve great things in life.
    I know that she is relieved that I am calm, practical and hardworking.
    She tells me that I am an overachiever, but everyone on her side of the family (especially her) is an overachiever as well, so this is never news.

    She really doesn't tell me what she thinks of me often, most of these things I've just deduced or picked up on over time.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jem View Post
    How does your mother describe your personality? :-P
    The usual shit mom's say. Needs more cowbell though.
    "Those who make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities..."

    - Voltaire

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    My mom says I'm "mysterious" because I don't always tell her everything that is up in my life. She also thinks we're a lot alike, which IMO is laughable. She says I'm very independent, which is also laughable. Moms are not likely to be unbiased sources of information.

    Anyway, she's LIE.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Diana View Post
    Ha, yeah, there's way more important things to do! My mom also thinks I'm a hopeless slob. She recently gave me a refrigerator magnet that says "Housework won't kill you, but why take the chance?" because it reminded her of me.
    your mom says very similiar things about you as mine does about me. what type is your mom?

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