strrrng: Enneagram

[Ezra]

I actually think you may be a Six, strrrng. I'm suggesting this because I believe it's relevant to many of the posts you've made either "defending" individuals' actions, or "attacking" others. What you have is this tactic whereby you'll change allegiances as soon as you realise that someone becomes a threat. Of course, when I was being "nice" to you, you were actually defending what I'd said. However, as soon as I do something which you perceive to be a threat, you throw an all out hissy fit ("suck a dick, Ezra"), often covered up using the "internet bad ass", "cool, calm and collected" way of speaking. In reality, you clearly have a major problem with my poor opinion of your understanding of socionics. Even when I mentioned that it doesn't refer to the way I feel about you as a person, you still had a problem with it. But what separates you from people like Winterpark and the others who insulted me? They've always insulted me, constantly. You, however, swap around, based on how much you feel someone will protect or defend you or your ideas. As soon as said person reacts negatively in some way towards you, you will happily back stab them in a counterphobic like manner. This is what it means to be a Six; hiding behind people one minute; rebelling against them the next.

I've always been of the opinion that SocioniX has an extremely poor understanding of the Six, and you're no different. You seem to think that a Six is counterphobic or phobic; that they can only be one or the other. You fail to understand that a Six actively and behaviourally swings between one state and the other. You change your opinions of people because you're afraid that the next party which you want in on might reject you. In actual fact, you haven't changed your opinions at all, and you're tirelessly and desperately hanging on to an ideology, often created by one of your past "leaders". Essentially, what is "hidden" in terms of your doubt is due to your Five wing. To outsiders, you look calm. On the inside, you recognise that you must have some kind of ideology in order to survive. Someone like Ashton would provide this for you. Of course, coming to this community, you would have to "change" in some way, to sever previous ties with that group.

Two of the most obvious aspects of your personality are your consistent game of oneupmanship played against those with whom you feel threatened by in some way (even if the threat is blatantly non-existent to others) and the "us and them" mentality that you have. As I said, you'll switch allegiances if the previous one becomes a threat, and you'll overreact if who you thought was an ally reacts negatively towards you. To whom the "us and them" attitude was directed was altered when you switched your allegiance from SocioniX to this forum. You'll frequently use projection to cover up your insecurities. Consider my case; the cp6w7 LSE. Not only was the argument dreadfully poor, but I also rebutted every single claim you made, either showing how there was bad reasoning (or indeed no reasoning at all) with worse conclusions, or backing up my counterarguments with hard evidence. (As a side point, I'm surprised that people were even considering Ti base for you. In fact, I'm surprised that I myself entertained the notion that you may be an SLE.) Your only response was something along the lines of "lol". You clearly seeing things that aren't there to see; and using me as your stress ball. The sooner you face the facts and admit (even to yourself; not necessarily to the forum) that there are issues that you need to deal with alone, and without my or anyone else's forced participation. If of course you actually recognise these facts and yet continue to make false claims and fall into bad behaviours, then I suggest you quite the game immediately or simply leave the forum. But, for moral support, I don't think that's what you're doing.

[Gilly]

Actually I think this is highly uncharacteristic of 6s, perhaps even contrary to their nature. I think 6s tend to latch on to one point of view or set of "stable" allies and stick with them through thick and thin; only in the case they become totally jaded about a point of view or person will they abandon ship and find another train to ride. Their whole issue is stability, reliability, consistency; despite the fact that I disagree with your perception of Nick, what you describe actually seems very out-of-sync with what I believe a 6 is actually like.

[Ezra]

Actually I think this is highly uncharacteristic of 6s, perhaps even contrary to their nature. I think 6s tend to latch on to one point of view or set of "stable" allies and stick with them through thick and thin; only in the case they become totally jaded about a point of view or person will they abandon ship and find another train to ride. Their whole issue is stability, reliability, consistency; despite the fact that I disagree with your perception of Nick, what you describe actually seems very out-of-sync with what I believe a 6 is actually like.

A counterphobic Six will act irrationally; they will often yo-yo back and forth, for lack of guidance. Of course, a phobic Six will act like this for most of the time, but a Six who spends more time in counterphobic mode will tend to do things like what I just described.

[strrrng]

I actually think you may be a Six, strrrng. I'm suggesting this because I believe it's relevant to many of the posts you've made either "defending" individuals' actions, or "attacking" others.

Where the fuck have I ever defended someone? I could care less about defending people, unless they are true friends. Leaving most people out to fend for themselves in conflict with others only benefits me. And yes, I "attack" others. So what if I make a few petty threats over the internet and speak derisively? That could just as easily be a 4 validating some internal ideal.

What you have is this tactic whereby you'll change allegiances as soon as you realise that someone becomes a threat. Of course, when I was being "nice" to you, you were actually defending what I'd said. However, as soon as I do something which you perceive to be a threat, you throw an all out hissy fit ("suck a dick, Ezra"), often covered up using the "internet bad ass", "cool, calm and collected" way of speaking.

I never backed up anything you said. IN FACT, I criticized you (objectively, of course ) in two threads where I thought you were being retarded and contradicting yourself in an ostentatious manner. And who said I perceived what you said as a threat? Couldn't it just as well be a 4 feeling that their identity is being challenged?

In reality, you clearly have a major problem with my poor opinion of your understanding of socionics. Even when I mentioned that it doesn't refer to the way I feel about you as a person, you still had a problem with it.

I could care less what you think about my understanding of socionics. But, when you promote it publicly, I will probably respond. Especially if you are basing your judgments mainly on biases from my past actions.

But what separates you from people like Winterpark and the others who insulted me? They've always insulted me, constantly. You, however, swap around, based on how much you feel someone will protect or defend you or your ideas. As soon as said person reacts negatively in some way towards you, you will happily back stab them in a counterphobic like manner. This is what it means to be a Six; hiding behind people one minute; rebelling against them the next.

I wasn't nice to you because I thought you were defending my ideas. Who says my social tactics are based around ideological loyalty? It could easily be based on how much praise I think I'm getting for my (inner) self, having my identity validated. But this is a good point, I will concede.

I've always been of the opinion that SocioniX has an extremely poor understanding of the Six, and you're no different. You seem to think that a Six is counterphobic or phobic; that they can only be one or the other. You fail to understand that a Six actively and behaviourally swings between one state and the other. You change your opinions of people because you're afraid that the next party which you want in on might reject you.

Heh, I do what is necessary socially. It's not always about approval, just winning.

In actual fact, you haven't changed your opinions at all, and you're tirelessly and desperately hanging on to an ideology, often created by one of your past "leaders". Essentially, what is "hidden" in terms of your doubt is due to your Five wing. To outsiders, you look calm. On the inside, you recognise that you must have some kind of ideology in order to survive. Someone like Ashton would provide this for you. Of course, coming to this community, you would have to "change" in some way, to sever previous ties with that group.

hmm

Two of the most obvious aspects of your personality are your consistent game of oneupmanship played against those with whom you feel threatened by in some way (even if the threat is blatantly non-existent to others) and the "us and them" mentality that you have.

Yeah, I'm an aristocratic prick and like to engage in petty emotional manipulation games. Not only does it work well with IEI, but consider that a 4 aims to preserve their ideal self. Next point...

As I said, you'll switch allegiances if the previous one becomes a threat, and you'll overreact if who you thought was an ally reacts negatively towards you. To whom the "us and them" attitude was directed was altered when you switched your allegiance from SocioniX to this forum.

When the fuck did I "switch allegiance" lol? I never had an allegiance to that forum; I just became good friends with Ashton. Aside from my association with him, there was no clan. Maybe I acted a certain way (see above point), but I think, if anything, I promote certain aspects of a group I am in because they correlate with my inner ideals (I wrote about this in my type thread) and help validate my "fantasy" self.

You'll frequently use projection to cover up your insecurities. Consider my case; the cp6w7 LSE. Not only was the argument dreadfully poor, but I also rebutted every single claim you made, either showing how there was bad reasoning (or indeed no reasoning at all) with worse conclusions, or backing up my counterarguments with hard evidence.

That wasn't projection. My argument for that typing was based off of function tendencies which I *thought* I observed (hence how I don't argue it now) and behavioral patterns (I still think you could be a 6. You're reactive in a way that I don't think is common to 8's). So, there was never any projection onto you. And yes, my arguments were not thorough at all.

(As a side point, I'm surprised that people were even considering Ti base for you. In fact, I'm surprised that I myself entertained the notion that you may be an SLE.) Your only response was something along the lines of "lol". You clearly seeing things that aren't there to see; and using me as your stress ball.

It wasn't about stress; it was about my understanding of the functions (both accurate and inaccurate).

The sooner you face the facts and admit (even to yourself; not necessarily to the forum) that there are issues that you need to deal with alone, and without my or anyone else's forced participation. If of course you actually recognise these facts and yet continue to make false claims and fall into bad behaviours, then I suggest you quite the game immediately or simply leave the forum. But, for moral support, I don't think that's what you're doing.

I find it ironic that you included this part, as I have been the main person pointing out behavioral issues I have observed in you recently in threads. Coincidence? I think not. So, maybe you're projecting your insecurities onto me? You have been a walking contradiction lately, it seems as though you're reaching out for public validation, and you seem to be desperately looking for some sort of stable grounding both internally and ideologically. But now you're presuming to know my motivations? el oh el, indeed.

[Ezra]

Where the fuck have I ever defended someone? I could care less about defending people, unless they are true friends. Leaving most people out to fend for themselves in conflict with others only benefits me. And yes, I "attack" others. So what if I make a few petty threats over the internet and speak derisively? That could just as easily be a 4 validating some internal ideal.

How?

I never backed up anything you said. IN FACT, I criticized you (objectively, of course ) in two threads where I thought you were being retarded and contradicting yourself in an ostentatious manner.

That was objective criticism. But you also defended me in a thread which turned into a discussion about my aristocracy.

And who said I perceived what you said as a threat? Couldn't it just as well be a 4 feeling that their identity is being challenged?

I don't understand how I've ever challenged your identity.

I could care less what you think about my understanding of socionics. But, when you promote it publicly, I will probably respond. Especially if you are basing your judgments mainly on biases from my past actions.

Does the past not matter to you?

Yeah, I'm an aristocratic prick and like to engage in petty emotional manipulation games. Not only does it work well with IEI, but consider that a 4 aims to preserve their ideal self. Next point...

None of the IEI Fours on here engage in that kind of behaviour. Nor does my IEI Four father.

When the fuck did I "switch allegiance" lol? I never had an allegiance to that forum; I just became good friends with Ashton. Aside from my association with him, there was no clan. Maybe I acted a certain way (see above point), but I think, if anything, I promote certain aspects of a group I am in because they correlate with my inner ideals (I wrote about this in my type thread) and help validate my "fantasy" self.

Why do you even have a "fantasy" self? Why can't you be true to yourself?

That wasn't projection. My argument for that typing was based off of function tendencies which I *thought* I observed (hence how I don't argue it now) and behavioral patterns (I still think you could be a 6. You're reactive in a way that I don't think is common to 8's). So, there was never any projection onto you. And yes, my arguments were not thorough at all.

Okay, fair point. I'm interested to know what this "reactive" style you're observing is, and how it differs from the behaviour of the Reactive triad (of which the Eight is a part).

I find it ironic that you included this part, as I have been the main person pointing out behavioral issues I have observed in you recently in threads. Coincidence? I think not. So, maybe you're projecting your insecurities onto me? You have been a walking contradiction lately, it seems as though you're reaching out for public validation, and you seem to be desperately looking for some sort of stable grounding both internally and ideologically. But now you're presuming to know my motivations? el oh el, indeed.

I know it looks like I myself am projecting, but I'm not. I genuinely think this. I remember a similar incident occurring at EIDB a year ago with a guy named koolkatkuhner. He claimed that I was a Six, and used some incriminating past threads to back up said claim. From his perspective (and from many others'), it looked like he had a good case. But actually, this was one of the few cases in which I expressed my deepest feelings about an issue. He clearly took this to be some kind of self-doubt issue, which it probably was, but - honestly - who doesn't experience self-doubt at some point in their life? Even Eights? Of course. It's human nature to doubt oneself. It's rational to doubt oneself. Just as you can justify that all your issues belong to a Four identity crisis rather than a Three one, or even a Six "I don't know who I am because I have issues of self-doubt" issue.

Anyway, I can assure you, the thread I posted was due to my opening up to reality; it made me look helpless and weak solely because I am Ne role. When it comes to life, I have no confidence issues whatsoever. Only the facts dictate what happens. I have good control over the human weakness element (just not perfect control ).

[strrrng]

How?

If certain traits are part of the 4's internal self-image, they will probably exhibit them, to some degree.

That was objective criticism. But you also defended me in a thread which turned into a discussion about my aristocracy.

I think the only thing I said that was remotely in your defense was that people were just pissed at your arrogance but that I didn't mind it. I then proceeded to call your attitude "typical college 'I'm figuring out the world'" complex. And in the Ne thread, I gave an assessment of what I believed were your underlying motivations for the attitude. So, while I may have had a more pleasant stance towards you, given our current positive Fe dynamic, I was by no means defending you.

I don't understand how I've ever challenged your identity.

I was giving that as a reason for the same reaction.

Does the past not matter to you?

It does, but you can't let it blind you.

None of the IEI Fours on here engage in that kind of behaviour. Nor does my IEI Four father.

Well, maybe sx plays into it. Or maybe I'm covering up for insecurities, or diverting aggression. Or maybe I'm a cp 6!!!

Why do you even have a "fantasy" self? Why can't you be true to yourself?

I was merely trying to demonstrate my motivations for certain behavior.

Okay, fair point. I'm interested to know what this "reactive" style you're observing is, and how it differs from the behaviour of the Reactive triad (of which the Eight is a part).

6's have a more defensive quality to their reactive style, whereas 8's tend to just take control of a situation or impose themselves (hiding from weak side). So, when I see you making threads with contradictory statements, yet so with much fervor, it makes me think you are looking for security/validation. Not that 8's can't be uncertain of themselves at times, but I don't think they project it as much as I've seen you do. Also, in the past when I would call you a cp6, you would get pretty defensive. Most of the time when I have tried to insult 8's or observed them in confrontation, they tend to keep this stoic control about them (again, hiding from weak side -- see merk's behavior in arguments). You, on the other hand, seemed more offset, as if I was "challenging your foundation" -- that being your understanding of the system/your type.

I know it looks like I myself am projecting, but I'm not. I genuinely think this. I remember a similar incident occurring at EIDB a year ago with a guy named koolkatkuhner. He claimed that I was a Six, and used some incriminating past threads to back up said claim. From his perspective (and from many others'), it looked like he had a good case. But actually, this was one of the few cases in which I expressed my deepest feelings about an issue. He clearly took this to be some kind of self-doubt issue, which it probably was, but - honestly - who doesn't experience self-doubt at some point in their life? Even Eights? Of course. It's human nature to doubt oneself. It's rational to doubt oneself. Just as you can justify that all your issues belong to a Four identity crisis rather than a Three one, or even a Six "I don't know who I am because I have issues of self-doubt" issue.

Anyway, I can assure you, the thread I posted was due to my opening up to reality; it made me look helpless and weak solely because I am Ne role. When it comes to life, I have no confidence issues whatsoever. Only the facts dictate what happens. I have good control over the human weakness element (just not perfect control ).

Ok, cool. And I'm still open to this debate. I was reading old posts of mine, and getting conflicting vibes on certain things, so I hope something comes of this thread.

[Gilly]

I think it's a given that everyone has some connection to every type and manifests its attributes at some point or another. 4 is a type that inherently has some ties to 6, what with 5 (which has 6 as a wing possibility) and 3 (which integrates to 6) being its wings, so it's really not surprising that some 6-ish traits stand out in Nick's behavior. However I think it is fairly obvious from close interaction and discussion with Nick that both he and I share very essential traits of type 4 that resonate with both of us deeply. Nick may exhibit some prototypical 6 behaviors, but I highly doubt that he identifies with the core motivation and neurosis of type 6 in the way that he does that of 4.

[discojoe]

What type does strrrng think he is?

[aestrivex]

4 is a type that inherently has some ties to 6, what with 5 (which has 6 as a wing possibility) and 3 (which integrates to 6) being its wings, so it's really not surprising that some 6-ish traits stand out in Nick's behavior.

uh...

[Gilly]

What type does strrrng think he is?

4w5 sx/sp, which, IMO, he is.

[FDG]

No, please, no. First, questioning of socionics types. Now, questioning of ennagram types...

The sub-forum is titled "What's my type" not "This is YOUR type!".

[Gilly]

uh...

Well, this is more connection than any other non-wing type of 6 has to it, is essentially what I was getting at.

[Wynch]

Well, this is more connection than any other non-wing type of 6 has to it, is essentially what I was getting at.

What about 8's?

[Gilly]

What about 8's?

I guess that would be the exception to my proposed "rule," and I think an equal correlation in superficial behaviors is present in that comparison as well.

[Lotus]

No, please, no. First, questioning of socionics types. Now, questioning of ennagram types...

The sub-forum is titled "What's my type" not "This is YOUR type!".

lol

No Nick, you aren't looking for yourself, your significance, and/or identity. You want to have security, to feel supported by others, to have certitude and reassurance. Ezra and Niffweed say so.


And actually Gilly made a good point.

[Wynch]

@Gilly: Have I told you today that I love you?

[Gilly]

No, but you are welcome to do so ^_^

[Wynch]

Gilly, I love you.

[discojoe]

I love you too, Gilly. Let's get naked and have sex with each other.

[Wynch]

Threesome?

[Gilly]

Only if Petey is willing to experiment :wink:

[Gilly]

Gilly, I love you.

Vero, I love you more.

[strrrng]

Infatuation: most exemplify romanticism, intensity, and longing for a rescuer...sweetly vulnerable and impressionable

Not only has this been my attitude throughout life - looking for a rescuer to bring me out - but the vulnerability caused by this has led to some mistakes in relationships. I'll idealize the person initially or something, giddy that someone has taken the time to give me attention, and then it won't work out.

aggressive and dynamic, especially in self-expression. There is an assertive, seemingly extroverted component

Sound familiar? Looks like 6's aren't the only ones who can be combative.

often turbulent and stormy, their emotional lives revolve around the person they are attracted to. intense feelings of admiration, longing, and hatred for the object of desire can all coexist...can also be jealous and possessive...want to be only person that matters in other's life

Yes. I want the attention and validation of my self-worth from the other, and can be overly imposing with emotional demands because of this.

often have sever doubts about their own desirability, so they strive for accomplishments that will make them acceptable, while being resentful of those who achieve those things.

This hits the nail on the head. Consider my exercise. Not only is it primarily derived from internal personal ideals, but if there is a girl in the situation, I make sure that I am "worthy," and feel that working on my body in a perfectionistic way will get me that attention, aid me in being rescued. And I am very resentful when someone tries to steal that trait from me, i.e. when a girl I was close with talked about her intense exercise, I compensated by training 2-3 times a day for a week with little sleep to reassert my identity (to myself, of course. She knew I was competitive, but not the depth of the internal fantasy).

[strrrng]

Symbols of Power and Connection...develop physical strength, power, and/or physical attractiveness to feel more safe

This actually fits better with my exercise motivations lol. Steve told me once, that he thought I exercised to defend myself from the world. I have thought to myself how I can mold myself into a lethal weapon, thus nullifying threats. And by being attractive to others, I am safe in a way.

rely on strength and displays of toughness that can resemble type 8...mask insecurities though open assertion and defiance of authority, or through flirtation and seduction

This should be self-evident, and is a very strong case for 6.

want to attract a powerful and capable mate, so they frequently test the other, both to see if they will stay with them, as well as to give themselves time to assess the other person's character and fortitude

See example with girlfriend (could go both ways). I like to gauge the other to see where they stand with me.

more openly defiant of authority, especially when anxious...most doubting of others and of selves...can have explosive emotional reactions when their own insecurities are exposed or their connections with others are threatened. when anxious, may assert themselves against their own supporters or third parties rather than at the true sources of their anxieties. attempts at sabotaging others, or undermining their reputations in various ways, especially through rumor-mongering, are typical.

See my recent behavior. Self-evident.

impulsive, self-destructive behavior alternates with irrational lashing out

See my recent blogs about sleep deprivation and superfluous exercise.


DAMN NIGGA

[strrrng]

Edit: I believe my deluded, coffee-induced, sleep deprived state skewed my cognitive patterns, which led to impetuosity in conversation and actions.

[strrrng]

As a side point, I'm surprised that people were even considering Ti base for you. In fact, I'm surprised that I myself entertained the notion that you may be an SLE.

Which is why you used to think I was LII? Or how you commented that my posts seemed like those of a Ti ego type at one point? It was those posts which I was putting a lot of effort into. And what was so off about considering Se ego? Your observations about my awareness of it were pretty legit imo.

[FDG]

There are definitely better (and actually, much harder) ways to strenghten yourself rather than sleep-deprivation, man

[strrrng]

There are definitely better (and actually, much harder) ways to strenghten yourself rather than sleep-deprivation, man

True, but sleep (and food) deprivation makes it harder. There are guys who are in great shape, but they sleep 9-10 hours a day. What can you do when your body is in a weakened state? That shows something. That's why navy seals get like 4 hours of sleep a night for a time period in their training.

[FDG]

True, but sleep (and food) deprivation makes it harder. There are guys who are in great shape, but they sleep 9-10 hours a day. What can you do when your body is in a weakened state? That shows something. That's why navy seals get like 4 hours of sleep a night for a time period in their training.

So, what can you do when your body is in a weakened state?

[Lotus]

Victimized by an ESTp? yay for aggressors!

[Gilly]

Allie, go away.

[Lotus]

Gilly you should already be gone.

[Gilly]

Allie you never should've come.

[Lotus]

Die already?

[strrrng]

So, what can you do when your body is in a weakened state?

Well, if I can perform at the same level as you, but I have had no sleep and you have had 9 hours, that means my body is stronger than yours.

It's not just about building one's self up; breaking one's self down is just as, if not more important.

[Ezra]

I think the only thing I said that was remotely in your defense was that people were just pissed at your arrogance but that I didn't mind it. I then proceeded to call your attitude "typical college 'I'm figuring out the world'" complex. And in the Ne thread, I gave an assessment of what I believed were your underlying motivations for the attitude. So, while I may have had a more pleasant stance towards you, given our current positive Fe dynamic, I was by no means defending you.

My weak Fi and thus inability to assess the actual relationship between us, most likely.

6's have a more defensive quality to their reactive style, whereas 8's tend to just take control of a situation or impose themselves (hiding from weak side). So, when I see you making threads with contradictory statements, yet so with much fervor, it makes me think you are looking for security/validation. Not that 8's can't be uncertain of themselves at times, but I don't think they project it as much as I've seen you do. Also, in the past when I would call you a cp6, you would get pretty defensive. Most of the time when I have tried to insult 8's or observed them in confrontation, they tend to keep this stoic control about them (again, hiding from weak side -- see merk's behavior in arguments). You, on the other hand, seemed more offset, as if I was "challenging your foundation" -- that being your understanding of the system/your type.

I think it's frustrating to be told that I'm something I'm not. I used to take life far more seriously than I do now, but there are still remnants of my past state. I was actually a very vulnerable individual, very easy to damage. I would often get emotionally fucked over as a kid and through high school by people who would take advantage of my sensitive state. So when college came (not uni, the UK system is different; college is from 16-18 years old), I developed this kind of hardened shell. I'd probably laugh and joke about counterphobia, but I just got sick and tired of my dad rambling on about counterphobic Six that it got tiring. It was due to - and he admits it - his lack of understanding of the Eight; he had a very narrow view of them. I think my knowledge of the Enneagram surpasses his in many ways. I do have to remind him of certain things sometimes. So when other people go on about cp6, I'm just thinking "okay, I could just tell this person to fuck off, but they'd either get defensive or say some really accusatory thing about my true nature, and it's only fair; they haven't heard me talk about my being a Six before", so the only choice I have is to outright deny it.

[Hitta]

People like Allie are the reason that Trojan Condoms have so much business.

[Steve]

This actually fits better with my exercise motivations lol. Steve told me once, that he thought I exercised to defend myself from the world. I have thought to myself how I can mold myself into a lethal weapon, thus nullifying threats. And by being attractive to others, I am safe in a way.

Protecting yourself from the world imo aligns more with what you mentioned to me the other night about you feeling the world is corrupt. Although that mentality on the surface resembles a stereotypical 6w5, I still don't see it. Ask yourself this, would 6w5s such as myself, discojoe, hkkmr, hitta, etc do what you're doing right now? I don't think we try and "find ourselves" in the same way you do.

[Christy B]

Protecting yourself from the world imo aligns more with what you mentioned to me the other night about you feeling the world is corrupt. Although that mentality on the surface resembles a stereotypical 6w5, I still don't see it. Ask yourself this, would 6w5s such as myself, discojoe, hkkmr, hitta, etc do what you're doing right now? I don't think we try and "find ourselves" in the same way you do.

very good point

[strrrng]

Protecting yourself from the world imo aligns more with what you mentioned to me the other night about you feeling the world is corrupt. Although that mentality on the surface resembles a stereotypical 6w5, I still don't see it. Ask yourself this, would 6w5s such as myself, discojoe, hkkmr, hitta, etc do what you're doing right now? I don't think we try and "find ourselves" in the same way you do.

Right, all my little escapades revolve around the amorphous and tumultuous identity focus I have. I mean lol, most of my observations of people consist of negative comparisons - either how I'm so unlike them or how they have something I don't - which only leads to more idealizing. I am by no means searching for security out of anxiety; when I consider that motivation for me, it makes no sense, it feels like it's on the back burner, and I go back to brooding about how fucked up I am lol.