ILEs-ENTps: what does independence mean to you?

[Rubicon]

Just wondering, because SEIs (yes, I am speaking for SEIs the world over) like their independence and don't like feeling like they're suffocated in relationships.

What about you, duals? What does independence mean to you? How important is it to you that you have your own space?

[Khola aka Bee]

Also curious!! Hey Jem, what are you up to after btw? I'm gonna be in Melb city maxin and relaxin in liek 10 mins

[Rubicon]

Also curious!! Hey Jem, what are you up to after btw? I'm gonna be in Melb city maxin and relaxin in liek 10 mins

I was gonna practice. I've got my exam recital on tomorrow. What about next week some time?

[Wynch]

I'm pretty fiercely independent myself. I can't stand it when something impedes my sense of freedom.

[Blaze]

i'm extremely independent also. most times it's a good thing, but occasionally i will not listen to anybody else and sometimes i'm a little bit too much on the fringe.

[Suomea]

...

[Mediator Kam]

A lot of my pain is linked to independence-related struggles. heheh, if only I liked to drive.

[Lotus]

No. I am clingy, constricting, controlling, and suffocating. I like you tied to me at all times. You will like it.

[xyz]

No. I am clingy, constricting, controlling, and suffocating. I like you tied to me at all times. You will like it.

[Wynch]

Geez, that picture made me lol in my office...

[Rubicon]

I looked at the number of posts and was excited at the thought of so many replies on topic .... yeah, should have known better

Mn0good and Dolphin, I'm happy for you both. :-)

Calling ILEs, ILEs ...

[Wynch]

There are days when it amazes me that I'm theoretically supposed to dualize with one of you folks.

[xyz]

There are days when it amazes me that I'm theoretically supposed to dualize with one of you folks.

Geez, that made ME lol in the office..

[Mediator Kam]

There are days when it amazes me that I'm theoretically supposed to dualize with one of you folks.

I will say that I probably not have any music in my car xD. I like music too much.

[Lotus]

I WANNA MAKE VIOLENT LOVE TO YOU

[Wynch]

Wow, my attempt at sarcasm only resulted in an excuse for you to patronize me.

I'll stop attempting it then. Thanks.

I wouldn't call that patronizing. If I was being patronizing I would have said something like "It's ok, I'm sure the music will make everything better." I thought I was being pretty direct. And seeing as how sentiments like those that you made are not far off the mark with some of the SEIs around here it wasn't unreasonable to think that you were being serious. Especially when it comes as a response to Kam talking about "escaping his pain" which made me roll my eyes.

[Lotus]

I wouldn't call that patronizing. If I was being patronizing I would have said something like "It's ok, I'm sure the music will make everything better." I thought I was being pretty direct. And seeing as how sentiments like those that you made are not far off the mark with some of the SEIs around here it wasn't unreasonable to think that you were being serious. Especially when it comes as a response to Kam talking about "escaping his pain" which made me roll my eyes.

Uh, you just corrected her on the definition of patronizing.

[Wynch]

Depends what you mean by suffocating. In terms of my current relationship it goes through periods of intense time intake where we'll spend most of our time together for a few days.... normally a weekend. Then after a couple of days I'll start to feel comfortable in the relationship and slightly uncomfortable with how much time we spend together and I'll go off on my way. We'll enter a sort of "minimal relationship care mode" where I'll go off on my own and do lots of odd stuff... Then after 2-5 days I'll realize I really want to spend time with her and need her and we'll spend another few days together. Her feelings stay relatively constant the whole time which is nice (or at least so I think), and while mine can vary quite a bit overall, I think we make a good fit.

I don't think many people would want to be in a relationship like this but it seems to work for us, and for me at least.

By the way this just sounds a lot more like an anxious-ambivalent or avoidant attachment style more than anything having to do with socionics..... might be tempered by a Fi POLR and Fe hidden agenda though possibly. I have no clue.

I have a feeling my relationships would be a lot like this out of necessity. Too much time with one person would drive me nuts.

[Froody Blue Gem]

Independence is being able to do things with less help, and being able to stand on your own feet. Asking for help when needed is still possible, even when someone relies on themselves, or is trying to achieve independence. We all have unique skillsets, and an area of struggle for one person is going to be different from that of another person. I dislike it when people swoop in, and give me more help then needed. I like to learn things for myself, in a way that I will retain and remember.

Admittedly, there are many areas in life that don't quite come naturally to me. There are also weaknesses we deal with our whole lives, but slow progress is still progress. I also associate it with being able to come up with your own concepts and ideas, or coming up with your own twist on things that is unique to you. Finding ways of doing things that work best for you, creative and fun ways, and possibly passing those ways on to friends, and people that you trust.

Especially when you struggle with the by-the-book way of doing things, being able to incorporate that with what works for you. Figuring out your learning style, or something you are passionate about, and being able to tie that into everyday life. Even if that can't be done, still keeping that on the side, and a main area of focus. Also, developing and delving your own interests, and finding yourself as a person.