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Thread: Intertype relation you find least attractive, and why

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    Default Intertype relation you find least attractive, and why

    Are you particularly un-attracted to your contrary and quasi-identicle?


    Ok, bear with me on this. I am not talking about raw physical attraction. Not just looks. I'm talking about a sort of chemistry that you feel with people. It is not totally separate from looks, because how someone looks (and moves, etc), is a part of someone's appearance. But it is a sort of chemistry you feel. I feel it right away when I'm around anyone, especially women. I am always hyper aware of compatibilities and how smoothly information is exchanged, and other various chemistries, if you will.

    Anyhow, what I am getting at her is the person you feel this LEAST with. I wonder if there is any relation to this at all. I'll explain how it is for me, and then you can say if you feel anything similar or not.



    Far and wide, the least attractive (as described above) type of person - which in this case is female - for me, are beta STs. This is nothing against their character or person - I know more than one great beta ST women. I'm just saying myself, what I feel attractive to. So don't be offended.

    Why?

    Well I'll first explain the difference between ISTj and INFp females, for me. INFps are at least "interesting", and more significantly, they seem very feminine. For me, that "F" quality is very much a significant thing for me - and maybe that's just my own individual perk. But INFps are "more attractive" to me from a general sense, as I described in the opening paragraph. I think functionally, however, I work better with ISTjs, simply because I can actually work with them. I don't think I can work with INFps. But nevertheless, I can be "attracted" to them.

    Why am I not attracted to ISTjs? Or ESTps?
    For one thing, the Ti+Se facial expressions are just extremely unattractive. They is a sort of stare that they have, the blank look on their face, with a certain sort of intensity, and it is just not at all welcoming. (Don't take this the wrong way, anyone, but honestly, that is probably the least attractive expression I've ever seen on a female).

    Out of all the female beta STs I've been with, I don't think I've ever felt any real chemistry. I've found some physically attractive in terms of having an appealing body, absolutely. However, in terms of what I described above, there is just nothing there.

    It's like they don't provide me with anything that I don't have. They don't really have any of the qualities that I find particularly attractive.


    I'm wondering if that makes sense to other people. Do you relate?
    Like, if you are ENTp, do you find INTps and ENTjs fairly unattractive in terms of chemistry? It is something different from your conflictor, who just seems to be distinctly "no contest", or just "yeah that's interesting, but I know there's nothing really here". Contrary + quasi-identical just seem to have this very obvious wall of "nothing at all is here", to me, at least - in terms of relational chemistry.

    I don't mind working with contrary+quasi. But relationally, it's just nothing at all.
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    Optional background:

    One thing that inspired this was me meeting with an ENFj (m) and his girlfriend (beta ST female, likely ISTj). I understood their attraction to each other socionically, but I was thinking about the people involved.

    Being a guy, I was thinking about the girl and how I relate to her and her attractiveness, and how she relates to the ENFj. It struck me as odd, because, I could just never, ever, ever see myself with that girl. Nothing was wrong with her, mind you. She just absolutely was not "my type". It was good to see the ENFj and the ISTj together, because it was something i'd never really seen before, an ENFj male and beta ST female operating together. It seemed so foreign to me.

    Not foreign as in unbelievable, but just, for a lack of a better term, backwards.


    I've had other experiences with beta ST women and seeing them in action and in relationships, and I've always had the feeling of how incompatible we are. Other very notable instances are an ISTj with an INFp male, and an ISTj with an ISFp male.
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    I am not so sure if it is type related.

    Case in point: I know of one intelligent and hardworking ISFj (ESI) that I love the hell out of, another ISFj that I work with is lazy (talks a lot to hide it) and takes a long time to figure out simple organization planning.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jimbean View Post
    I am not so sure if it is type related.

    Case in point: I know of one intelligent and hardworking ISFj (ESI) that I love the hell out of, another ISFj that I work with is lazy (talks a lot to hide it) and takes a long time to figure out simple organization planning.
    You're not really understanding the point I'm making.


    I'm not really talking about the individual characteristics of a person, being lazy or not. Or being attractive or not. I'm talking about a certain psychological chemistry.


    Quasi-identical is another one for obvious reasosns. There's no glue. At all.
    Right, that feeling.
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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    You're not really understanding the point I'm making.


    I'm not really talking about the individual characteristics of a person, being lazy or not. Or being attractive or not. I'm talking about a certain psychological chemistry.
    That is what I am talking about. Chemistry does not have much to do with type for me. It has a lot more to do with individual characteristics.
    "Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
    --Theodore Roosevelt

    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -- Mark Twain

    "Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in."
    -- Confucius

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    You're not really understanding the point I'm making.


    I'm not really talking about the individual characteristics of a person, being lazy or not. Or being attractive or not. I'm talking about a certain psychological chemistry.
    Yes. And my psychological chemistry tells me when someone is unattractive and ugly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos View Post
    Yes. And my psychological chemistry tells me when someone is unattractive and ugly.
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    SLE, LSE, and (to a lesser extent) SLI... because they're ST and don't have creative Se, I imagine. I have power struggles with LSE's and have a really hard time relating to them because of their Ni PoLR's. SLE's... I'm not even sure why. SLI's are just impossible to motivate.
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    Whichever relation at the time deals with ugly people.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    SLE, LSE, and (to a lesser extent) SLI.
    Interestingly, my answer remains the same. I'm not sure about LSIs. SLEs are still definitely my least favorite. And I was mistaken on my son's father's type. He's not LSE. He's just psycho.
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    Supervisor. I don't know the exact types but I know when somebody is supervising me damnit. It's the least attractive because I think when it all comes down to it, supervisor is the type you would feel the most shameful about if they caught you masturbating. Or any sort of erotic/personal matter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BulletsAndDoves View Post
    Supervisor. I don't know the exact types but I know when somebody is supervising me damnit. It's the least attractive because I think when it all comes down to it, supervisor is the type you would feel the most shameful about if they caught you masturbating. Or any sort of erotic/personal matter.
    Sounds like someone has a story to tell

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    it is either superego or activity. whichever relation I have to tell the person the same thing multiple times with her insisting on doing it her way and ruining it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by yeves View Post
    it is either superego or activity. whichever relation I have to tell the person the same thing multiple times with her insisting on doing it her way and ruining it.
    This is definitely superego.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP View Post
    Why am I not attracted to ISTjs? Or ESTps?
    For one thing, the Ti+Se facial expressions are just extremely unattractive. They is a sort of stare that they have, the blank look on their face, with a certain sort of intensity, and it is just not at all welcoming. (Don't take this the wrong way, anyone, but honestly, that is probably the least attractive expression I've ever seen on a female).
    This is exactly what I find very attractive, like a lens focusing sharply on its object.

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    Just by what the theory says: Super-Ego.

    With ppl irl it's much more nuanced.

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    On an emotional/vibe level, I find my conflictor the least attractive, hands down.

    Physically, they can be attractive, sure. But I just stay the hell away from them when it comes to a romantic (committed!) relationship.

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    quasi-, beneficiary (i have matching styles w/ my benefactor), supervisor

    i find super-ego pretty attractive but i can't imagine having enough initiative to actually get things started w/ an ILI LOL

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    It seems like it's not unusual for people to feel more warmly about their beneficiary than they're benefactor, which is odd as the names and descriptions would seem to suggest otherwise. Of course, it's still assymetrical, hence the problem.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy View Post
    It seems like it's not unusual for people to feel more warmly about their beneficiary than they're benefactor, which is odd as the names and descriptions would seem to suggest otherwise. Of course, it's still assymetrical, hence the problem.
    I suppose you are inclined to feel more warmly towards your beneficiary, because there is not the same kind of frustration in you as with your benefactor (at certain instances).
    However, I'd still say I find my beneficiary less attractive than my benefactor.

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