The Awful German Language by Mark Twain

[discojoe]

Too long to post, but it's fucking hysterical. Take thirty minutes and read it.

[Elro]

I've heard of that, but I never took much German, so a lot of that probably escapes me.

I really liked this one by Twain, though: "A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling."

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

[discojoe]

You don't have to know German to appreciate the humor. I don't know any German and I was laughing pretty loudly the entire time I was reading it.

[Kim]

It's not entirely accurate (his explanation of "Regen" and cases doesn't make any sense, but it's still amusing), but really pretty funny. Hehe, makes me miss teaching German - I remember that whenever I introduced adjective endings, my students were horrified.

N. B. -- I was informed, later, by a higher authority, that there was an "exception" which permits one to say "wegen den Regen" in certain peculiar and complex circumstances, but that this exception is not extended to anything but rain.

I have been thinking about when you would ever say "wegen den Regen," and the only explanation I can come up with is when "Regen" is used in the plural.

Anyway, I was entertained by this.

[discojoe]

I think he had only been studying German a few months before writing that, which could explain any weird inaccuracies.

[diljs]

That's pretty hilarious, I had a friend who took up german for a short time who should appreciate this

[Logos]

Thanks discojoe, i appreciated that. I enjoy German (more so than the 3-week intensive French course I just took), but I still found that to be rather humorous.

[discojoe]

Thanks discojoe, i appreciated that. I enjoy German (more so than the 3-week intensive French course I just took), but I still found that to be rather humorous.

You are welcome.

[Rubicon]

This is hilarious! Mark Twain is IEE, is he not?