lame IEI (me)

[redbaron]

okay so for the longest time I haven't been able to make a decision about attending a milestone birthday party for a relative of mine who lives kinda far away. All the family will be there and it's going to be like a reunion of sorts. But there's a lot going on here that weekend and I've just been feeling really ambivalent about it, going back and forth in my mind about where I want to be. So it's coming up in the next few weeks and I still hadn't made up my mind. I was talking to an SLE about it and he's like blah blah I have some extra vouchers that need to be used, what time do you want to leave and come home, I'll find you a flight. I'm like no, that's okay, save your vouchers for yourself, whatever whatever. He goes home, finds me a flight, calls me to check it out and then buys the ticket for me!! hello. I'm like completely grateful (and told him so of course!) but also feeling like what the heck is my problem? Am I that desperate for Se? Why couldn't I make that decision? It's so odd... so strange how even when you want to be a certain way, you just need someone else to kick it in for you. I'm a freakin adult, I should be able to do this stuff and yet in the end, I can't make a decision and someone else steps in and makes it for me. And I'm happy, so happy that the decision is made but I also feel like I'm walking around waving a Se-seeking flag without even realizing it. Kinda pathetic.

[marooned]

I don't think it's pathetic. I relate very much to the indecisiveness.

[Jimbean]

If it were my decision, I would have attended the reunion, so you are making the right choice. The fact that it was made for you was the SLE just trying to help you out, and probably did not think too much of it.

Overall, if I were you, I would not worry about it. Then again, I would have made the right decision anyway.

[redbaron]

If it were my decision, I would have attended the reunion, so you are making the right choice. The fact that it was made for you was the SLE just trying to help you out, and probably did not think too much of it.

Overall, if I were you, I would not worry about it. Then again, I would have made the right decision anyway.

yeah I know. I think stuff like this is very easy for him and I know it wasn't a big deal at all. I kinda knew in my heart that I wanted to attend the reunion cause I don't get to see many of my family very often, but it was very difficult pulling the trigger. Once a decision is made, I think to myself "that wasn't so hard" but then each time I face another one, it's impossible. I feel almost like it's a disease or something. lol

[betterthan]

Lol. Ahh don't be so hard on yourself baby! There could be a lot worse up with you. I'm exactly the same, and I get pissed off at myself about it all the time lol, but I guess reading this it makes me see it's not that much of a saga.