Hello Delta

[Reuben]

... Ok so maybe I'm ENFp after all.

Took a break from this site for about a year and I'm back. Just wanted to say hi.

Ehh, also wanted to ask something about shyness: is it normal for young ENFp's to go through problems with shyness and self-esteem? How do you tackle these problems?

Oh well, just hope you guys reply and say something. Thanks.

[tereg]

Yes, I'd say it's normal to go through those things.

I tackle the problem just like I do any other problem I struggle with...

I keep trying to muster enough energy to overcome it, give it a try, not really try, avoid it for a long time, and then try when I'm really ready to try it, and then repeat the process until I actually get over it.

[Topaz]

Blueblade,
How odd. I was thinking about you this morning and here you are! ENFP huh? We'll see Anyway its good to hear from you again. I haven't been to this site much myself. I've been too busy with other things.
Anyway, your problem is common with all young people not just ENFPs. I got together with some of my friends from other types and compared notes about how we felt about our teen years and the things that happened. OMG some expressed such dark despair. It occurred to me that everyone thinks they are alone and misunderstood at some point, even people you consider popular and well adjusted.
Some of the things that helped me was to spend time with friends that builded me up and not tore me down, either by what they said to me or just their general attitude about life. Apply yourself to hard work, esp in behalf of others who cant fend for themselves. You'll have a sense of accomplishment and a reason to feel good about yourself, you're improving the lives of others. Try not to wallow in self pity. It accomplishes nothing. The truth is most people are so busy worrying about themselves they don't really care what you do too much. So don't spend a lot of time worrying about how others view you. Just try to be the kind of person you would like to look up to.
From your previous post I can tell you are quite gifted with words and self expression. Work with that! It's really special.
OK thats my sermon for today

[xyz]

Wow that's good advice.

[meatburger]

Hey Topaz!

Yep good advice. I used to feel a bit like that. With age im feeling a lot better now. I used to read self help books a bit lol. I wouldn't bother, tricks dont really help. Although reading them does mean you're admitting you want to help yourself.

So the advice is simple really. Be yourself, keep busy dont get bored/lonley or you will sink quick. Do not wallow. Your low ti can create loops of shit house thinking that wont help you at all. Try to communitcate and work on your social skills. If you outwardly work on chatting small talk with everyone you will be amazed what unfolds

[Creepy-Cyclops]

@Topaz

Your advice given was like it was straight from the heart. It's stuff like that that makes me think there's people and therefore places in the world that makes it really cool, and that helps to break down my cynicism that I have sometimes.

There was a time when I couldn't have said stuff like that. Do you think it's Ok? I try to get a little more expressive with my feelings sometimes these days, but then I wonder if I'm tripping all over them

[Reuben]

@ Topaz

Thinking of me? How quaint. I have been abstaining from this forum and socionics for almost exactly a year. Was disillusioned by it you see. But things like this always seem to creep back on you. Strange to be thinking of me.

(:

I like your advice. Very applicable. "Just try to be the kind of person you would like to look up to. " That's a lot to work on.

@ meatburger

Heh. "Be yourself, keep busy dont get bored/lonley or you will sink quick. Do not wallow. Your low ti can create loops of shit house thinking that wont help you at all." So true. And self-help books don't work at all. Studies have shown that those who use them end up buying more. And more. And more (of the same kind of self-help book). Which probably meant that the first few didn't work.

@ Cyclops

Interesting you said "people therefore places in the world that makes it cool". So if there are people that make it cool, then its the places that make the people? Nurture vs Nature. Ha you sound like a traveler.

[Topaz]

@Topaz

Your advice given was like it was straight from the heart. It's stuff like that that makes me think there's people and therefore places in the world that makes it really cool, and that helps to break down my cynicism that I have sometimes.

There was a time when I couldn't have said stuff like that. Do you think it's Ok? I try to get a little more expressive with my feelings sometimes these days, but then I wonder if I'm tripping all over them

Cyclops when you try to express your good intentions and your best self, even if it should come out clumsy, is very moving not just to ENFPs but other types as well. One of the toughest assignments in life is to honor all parts of ourselves, even the weaker, more uncertain parts.
Once I live across country away from my family and the friends I grew up with. To my surprise one day I got a letter from my brother. It was chicken-scratch. The penmanship and spelling were so bad I could barely make out what he was saying. He even admitted it in the letter, even doodled a chicken in the margin (that cracked me up). That letter moved me more than all the other letters I had received during the years I lived there. I knew that for him this was a big stretch. He's just not the type of person to write anything let alone a personal letter.
My opinion of him soared. So I think even in our feeble attempts to reach out to other we cover a lot more ground than we may realize.
You're perfectly OK.

[dudeins]

maybe its just me, but i think that sometimes being shy is a huge part of being ENFp. at least for a period in our lives. when we're young we learn to deal with being more outgoing. once i (ENFp) experience that rush, after learning how awesome it feels for people to accept and appreciate me, i drop that defense.

to this day i get bouts of shyness, mainly on account of me being scared of what people in that particular group will think of me. if i don't feel comfortable enough with the people i tend to become extremely quiet.

it could just be a defense mechanism for ENFp's, in fear of being rejected or disliked by people. but this is just my personal experience.