How to help an SEE-ESFp overcome depression?

[UDP]

How do you light a fire under an SEE's ass? It is weird, she is totally not acting like herself....

well i told you i was pretty sure i was depressed
no
would probably rather be beautiful and driven and ready for the world
but im not

I am not sure, I am still getting details about the situation. She seems quite defeated, and when I said "you sound mopey..." she said, yes, I am, and that she feels she has every right to be.



I'm not used to SEEs this way - and ideas?

[UDP]

I tried explaining how to focus on her goals, and how to focus on what you need to do now to get there, sort of psuedo Ni talk maybe (it was not intentional - it seemed like what she needed). She got a little better at the end.

I think what I really did though was ruffle her feathers enough and pointed out that she was responsible for her state of being. I tried being nicer, Si stuff in the past, but it didn't work - she just kept talking in this cryptic, almost INFp sort of way, which was really weird. I'd never seen her act that way, she seemed caught up in her "depression". She got a little fired up at that, and then just seemed like she needed help on how to get out of her "rut"

..... I've heard of IJ statics getting stuck in a rut, but, EPs? Has anyone ever dealt with something like this?


Basically, after I got her "slightly fired up and agitated" - that I was calling her out on her choices, she seemed receptive and wanted strategy. "How do I do this?" So I tried to break down steps and how to get from where she is to where she wants to be, although I was vague because I didn't know much about anything, but it was sort of like "INTp mode", though it was a real bang up job. She seemed receptive at least, and came to conclusions on her own. So all I really did was point her in the right direction, maybe, if anything.

I was drawn to pointing out the contradiction in her actions, but I am not sure if that did anything at all. It might have helped her wake up from her stupor, but what really seemed to get her back on track was the "planning" aspects, or the "so what do I do now, how do I do that" aspects, which seem very Ni + Te. It was kind of cool to see how someone needed their dual like that, and though I know I am not totally equipped, it seems some progress was made.



SEE talking like an IEI* is a very uneasy thing to observe.



*note: a negative, unhealthy, sort of INFp.

[Animal]

Yes, Eps are just as prone to depressive phases as anyone else. In fact, I've known quite a few ESTps and ESFps alike who have experienced periods of intense existentialist angst and inaction. Also, don't get me started on Ne-Eps. They really are much more touchy people that most will realise at first.

They are pretty good at getting themselves out of this state, eventually.

Anyway, the INTps are better equipped to answer this than I am.

[FlameReborn]

You are very brave to come in here . . . and risk getting your PoLR fried to a crisp.

i'd do anything I could to piss her off, kickstart her system. Reasoning with a depressed person is useless, so locate her hot buttons and push 'em.

[discojoe]

You are very brave to come in here . . . and risk getting your PoLR fried to a crisp.

i'd do anything I could to piss her off, kickstart her system. Reasoning with a depressed person is useless, so locate her hot buttons and push 'em.

Hmm, good advice.

[liveandletlive]

that may help for a short time but u need to get at the cause of her depression if u really want it to go away

[UDP]

You are very brave to come in here . . . and risk getting your PoLR fried to a crisp.

i'd do anything I could to piss her off, kickstart her system. Reasoning with a depressed person is useless, so locate her hot buttons and push 'em.

Hmm, good advice.

That is the only thing I could think of. She said she talked to a bunch of people but from what it sounds like everyone was playing "nice cop" and giving her the "you're doing fine" shtick. Ruffling her feathers seemed to work... we'll see how it goes.

She is one of my older and tried and true friends, so, no one likes to see such a person in a bad state. I actually thought of what she would say to me if I was in her situation, and she'd give me a big does of and tell me to man it up.

[FlameReborn]

that may help for a short time but u need to get at the cause of her depression if u really want it to go away

That's why you keep her on her toes. While the gasoline is burning she''ll have the energy she needs to cut the crap.

[liveandletlive]

that may help for a short time but u need to get at the cause of her depression if u really want it to go away

That's why you keep her on her toes. While the gasoline is burning she''ll have the energy she needs to cut the crap.

honestly it depends on whats making her upset and how upset its making her... we can hold on to things for a while if it really hurts regardless of common belief

[FlameReborn]

on whats making her upset and how upset its making her... we can hold on to things for a while if it really hurts regardless of common belief

I've been depressed before, for months on end. It's not the same as being "upset", IMO. It's closer to a lack of interest in life in general. An upset person still has that ball of emotional energy. A depressed person has none. It sucked. I think I was really hoping someone would say, "Hey, you need a suntan, dude. Let's grab your bro and head to the lake.' Or something like that.

really, what finally helped was a change of scene. Went up to my mom's for a few weeks. Whew.

[liveandletlive]

on whats making her upset and how upset its making her... we can hold on to things for a while if it really hurts regardless of common belief

I've been depressed before, for months on end. It's not the same as being "upset", IMO. It's closer to a lack of interest in life in general. An upset person still has that ball of emotional energy. A depressed person has none. It sucked. I think I was really hoping someone would say, "Hey, you need a suntan, dude. Let's grab your bro and head to the lake.' Or something like that.

really, what finally helped was a change of scene. Went up to my mom's for a few weeks. Whew.

heads up, i think maybe your ignoring function is showing. (not all depression is the same?? also maybe she didn't mean "upset" so literally.)

yep and regardless the reaction is only based in the present and would not override those other sad feelings for long.

[Blaze]

Yes, Eps are just as prone to depressive phases as anyone else. In fact, I've known quite a few ESTps and ESFps alike who have experienced periods of intense existentialist angst and inaction. Also, don't get me started on Ne-Eps. They really are much more touchy people that most will realise at first.

They are pretty good at getting themselves out of this state, eventually.

you said it this is right on....you think it's temperament related? please expand...

[liveandletlive]

do u no what it is thats making her depressed? that may help us out...

[kabure]

Unfortunately, her depression may not have readily-identifiable causes.

The only thing I can recommend is to give her something to chase after, like sparking and old interest or everyone's favorite drug, a relationship. It's just a "longer" quick-fix, but unfortunately in this world, that may be all there is.

[implied]

on whats making her upset and how upset its making her... we can hold on to things for a while if it really hurts regardless of common belief

I've been depressed before, for months on end. It's not the same as being "upset", IMO. It's closer to a lack of interest in life in general. An upset person still has that ball of emotional energy. A depressed person has none. It sucked. I think I was really hoping someone would say, "Hey, you need a suntan, dude. Let's grab your bro and head to the lake.' Or something like that.

really, what finally helped was a change of scene. Went up to my mom's for a few weeks. Whew.

+1. don't know about others but this helps out immensely in many cases.

[UDP]

do u no what it is thats making her depressed? that may help us out...

Like above, a change of scenery would do her good. She's moved back home and her parent's place is not really for her. And she has weight issues and feels totally unmotivated about things it seems. She's been this way for a few weeks, when we've come across each other. I don't know if there is something else she is not telling me. Aside from that, I am not going to say anymore out of respect/privacy.

[UDP]

She is now upset at me because I commented about her fish being in a better place - she thinks that the comment I made was to imply she didn't take good care of it. This is really weird.

She has been this way for a while now.............................

I think it might be beyond the realm of socionics.

[Creepy-Diana]

.

[UDP]

Invite her to go do something.

That's a good idea. Too far I'm not away - I mean, too bad I am too far away.

[Jarno]

I haven't got all the information but probably: I would explain how the depression is based on an recent experience and that in the future everything will settle itself.

[crazedrat]

I usually just ask her what is going on, logically describe my take on the situation to her; and by doing this describe the possibilities for solution, and the places which are wasted effort. In the areas where there is no solution, I give her a philosophical piece of advice which will free her mind from investment in the situation anyway. If this doesn't work, I leave her alone

[liveandletlive]

IME, this is pretty normal behavior for an ESFp. When everything is going wrong and shitty, we just want to stay that way. We like to feel our emotions, for better or otherwise. She may be at the point of being a negative form of an INTp, and which case trying to get her to go out is not going to happen. I've always had weight problems too, trust me don't say anything about anything lol. women are so complicated. i would invite her to go on a run or something.