ESTps through the eyes of INFps

[Megan]

I have been wondering for sometime now about what INFps in particular admire and find attractive about ESTps.

I do not think I actually understand this attraction. So I ask INFps, What do you like about ESTps?

[ScarlettLux]

Their confidence, assertion and courage. The fact that they can push through whatever physical obstacle is in their way to reach their ultimate goal. They can motivate me just by seeing the in action. Their response to my . Their valuing of my dreaminess, predictions, etc. Their well developed system of logic that answers my many questions. Their Declarer attitude, very decisive and leads to no further DOUBTS being needed by the IEI which is definitely beneficial.

They are badass and will fuck someone up for you when you are in need =]

[misutii]

something that I like about ESTps is that when a disgusting, horrible, terribly offensive thought, which I of course find amusing, accidentally leaks out of my depraved mind and into my mouth, instead of recoiling, or reprimanding me, they giggle and then unabashedly pry paragraphs more out of my mouth with their bare hands, they brazenly wrap their fingers in it till their whole hand is covered and then slap my ass casually so as to provide a soundtrack to the disgustingx10, horriblex10, terribly offensivex10, thoughts their own mouths are about to unleash upon me, which they of course find amusing. I find it hilarious but am also insulted that they could one-up me so easily so I reach a little bit further in and see what I can find..... lol nothing is sacred!

[aka-kitsune]

Spontaneity. I so have to deliberate about things from every angle most of the time and *still* don't end up making a decision. ESTps just pick a path and go with it, hardly ever feel regret or think it would have been different "if"...

I also usually feel I lack "physical" concrete energy, don't feel present in my body. ESTps are innately physical and usually comfortable in their own skin.

[sigma]

Their confidence, assertion and courage.

I'll have to agree... assertiveness, confidence.... I've seen this in some females and yummy...
Plus... when these characteristics are present between the sheets... OMG OMG OMG... let's say that I don't mind letting them be themselves.

[Jarno]

I have an INFP girlfriend. When I introduced her to a friend of mine, an ESTP, she said in her own words something like: he's everything I despise.

But that's probably because he was talking about his dick and wanting to drop down his pants in a disco. Well you know, just some ESTP stuff.

[zenbrat]

I have been wondering for sometime now about what INFps in particular admire and find attractive about ESTps.

I do not think I actually understand this attraction. So I ask INFps, What do you like about ESTps?

They are random, well-rounded, intelligent and darkly sarcastic. Never a dull moment. Under all of the bravado and brash beats the heart of an INFp. They can be surprisingly sentimental about certain things.

I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

[Rocky]

My type is estp.

[Khamelion]

My type is estp.

really?

[Rocky]

My type is estp.

really?

I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.

[Khamelion]

My type is estp.

really?

I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.

You are surprisingly sentimental about certain things?

[Suomea]

I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

[aka-kitsune]

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

That's very sad.

Although I can't imagine any "best friend" of mine ever being so two-faced, I sure as hell would care. However, I have immense trouble deciding if I would actually want to know. The "ideal" would shatter into millions of bits, and since I would never be able to see the two people the same way, I wouldn't be able to forget it. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting impossible.

Personally, I've often been in complicated romantic situations where I deliberately overlooked things about the other person because I wanted to hold onto the idea that if I loved them enough, everything would eventually be OK. Usually, it became glaringly obvious that it just wasn't going to work and eventually fell apart anyway.

She probably doesn't want to see what happened.

[Rocky]

My type is estp.

really?

I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.

You are surprisingly sentimental about certain things?

Somethings, but I meant this;

They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever.

[zenbrat]

I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend.

This is a good example. Moral consensus says "it's wrong to fuck the best friend of the girl you're dating". But... ESTp's don't exactly subscribe to the moral consensus.

The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him.

The ESTp just wanted to see if he could accomplish the impossible. It was a challenge for him to see if he could get the best friend, in spite of the obstacles and taboos. I think they like to see how smart people are - if they fall for the game, it's the other persons fault. They should have known better.

My question is this... would an INFp even care about this?

Absolutely.

I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there.

It wasn't the sex he was after. It was a challenge; conquest.

Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

I'm not sure all of them do. Experience with ESTp's helps.

Both types are extremely jealous but they tend to agree that sex is sex and love is love.

[zenbrat]

I think there is a big difference between sexual infidelity and emotional infidelity. IMO, humans aren't naturally monogamous but they are pair-bonding creatures. I wouldn't forgive a partner who engaged in an emotional affair with someone else, but if it was just a lusty fling... eh. I'd rather not know anyway.

[Rocky]

This whole thread makes me feel like I belong.

[Khamelion]

My type is estp.

really?

I don't think so... BUT zenbrat's point above, the one Herzy agreed with, does sound like me.

You are surprisingly sentimental about certain things?

Somethings, but I meant this;

They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever.

I know Just wanted to see if the rest fit too

[misutii]

I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again

[Suomea]

I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again

What if instead of an ESTp it was an ENTp?

[Blaze]

I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again

why would you decide differently about the estp? just curious.

i'd expect my friends to have my back more than a "potential" boyfriend i guess.

[Suomea]

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

That's very sad. :(

Although I can't imagine any "best friend" of mine ever being so two-faced, I sure as hell would care. However, I have immense trouble deciding if I would actually want to know. The "ideal" would shatter into millions of bits, and since I would never be able to see the two people the same way, I wouldn't be able to forget it. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting impossible.

Personally, I've often been in complicated romantic situations where I deliberately overlooked things about the other person because I wanted to hold onto the idea that if I loved them enough, everything would eventually be OK. Usually, it became glaringly obvious that it just wasn't going to work and eventually fell apart anyway.

She probably doesn't want to see what happened.

Sorry didn't actually see this post. Thanks so much for responding. This also seems like the closest as how I would see her responding.

p.s. Blaze that comment was for the INFps right?

[Blaze]

p.s. Blaze that comment was for the INFps right?

yes and for misutii specifically.


but then i thought about it and agreed. and posted the whole thing anyway. oh well, 8:00 a.m. my head's not all that screwed on ....

[ScarlettLux]

I do not look on SLEs very highly ... sometimes I think that they will all never be that loyal, faithful type of person that I see myself with ... all stories involving them (even the more intelligent, high functioning ones) have mentioned something of too much of a partying lifestyle (so unappealing), treating women sort of like sex objects/conquests. I just don't see how they can be changed by an IEI.

[Blaze]

I do not look on SLEs very highly ... sometimes I think that they will all never be that loyal, faithful type of person that I see myself with ... all stories involving them (even the more intelligent, high functioning ones) have mentioned something of too much of a partying lifestyle (so unappealing), treating women sort of like sex objects/conquests. I just don't see how they can be changed by an IEI.

i don't think IEI's change them, only soften them. IEI's have a way of explaining morality that makes you want to do better. and they explain the way things play out over time really well, which makes you kind of stop in your tracks and re-think things. then they tell you in simple terms what to do to do better with people especially. and usually they explain it so simply that you can actually do it. :-)

-quoth life long entp -

[misutii]

I think NFp's understand that ESTp's aren't maliciously selfish. They're just focused on doing whatever satisfies them. Whatever they do (or don't do) should not be taken personally - it had nothing to with you whatsoever. INFp's can be the same way.

Ok...... so maybe the INFps can help me with this one. So an ex of mine was an INFp but we stayed friends. I'm still a little protective of her like I am with most of my female friends. Anyhow she dated this ESTp for a summer and stayed in touch with him over the year when she went to school. They were both meeting up the next summer by going back to the same place and a few nights before she was getting there he had sex with her best friend. The best friend told me at some time awhile later that the ESTp "lied to her" and told her that he was going to have a hard time deciding between her and the INFp and that's why she had sex with him. Anywho the ESTp and INFp went on to go out that whole summer when she got there, and he nor the best friend ever told her. To this day I'm not sure she knows. My question is this... would an INFp even care about this? I'm sure he just wanted to fuck something and the best friend was there. Is this what INFps understand that I don't?

i'd take my friend's betrayal more seriously if i found out about that kind of situation, I don't think I'd be able to see them the same, whereas with the ESTp I could look over it unless it happened again

why would you decide differently about the estp? just curious.

i'd expect my friends to have my back more than a "potential" boyfriend i guess.

oh sorry i was in a hurry when i typed that and i can see how it doesn't make sense. What I meant aligns with what you said. I expect 1000 times more loyalty from my actual friends than I do from potential gfs.... I don't believe in friendships based on convenience, after all I'll need my friends to serve as a reliable support network should a relationship fail. I'm careful with selecting friends and am not going to forgive or forget any treachery because people that say they're my friend, whilst fucking me over, are trash and its garbage day.

When I said "ESTp" I just meant 'potential love interest' type wouldn't matter -while it would hurt me that they fucked my friend I would place blame on my friend. If they fucked 2 of my friends I'd see a pattern forming, conclude they lack integrity, and start becoming indirectly harmful to their mental health.

a person who is a) stupid and/or b) emotionally retarded, needs to c) understand that there is no justification for glorifying such and so must d) deal with the unpleasant consequences they deserve.

of course all of this is hypothetical, at least according to my knowledge lol

[Blaze]

@misutii: gotcha. :-)

[Ezra]

My type is estp.

Maybe that's why you have a problem with me - you see me as competition.

[Khamelion]

My type is estp.

Maybe that's why you have a problem with me - you see me as competition.

Not to mention you are both very abbrasive when you feel threatened.

[Ezra]

My type is estp.

Maybe that's why you have a problem with me - you see me as competition.

Not to mention you are both very abbrasive when you feel threatened.

Threatened by whom?

[mustachio]

almost everytime somebody mentions SLE's in a thread, someone recalls how vile they are. well, yes we're not angels but we're not the scum of the Earth either. i personally have never cheated on a girlfriend. not even crossed my mind. i am the most loyal friend. i think any type can cheat on their girl. yes, an ESTp would prolly do it to see how far they can take it but that is all. all the SLE's i know are loyal to their friends and only do bad deeds to people who don't qualify as being in their inner circle. i think SLE's tend to see people for what they really represent. that they are impermanent in their life and, as such, are worthy of a good backstabbing. nothing personal. some even ask for it. :wink: hell, they might even resent you if you don't use them. and ime, most are willing to forgive our adorable quirks.

[Blaze]

almost everytime somebody mentions SLE's in a thread, someone recalls how vile they are. well, yes we're not angels but we're not the scum of the Earth either. i personally have never cheated on a girlfriend. not even crossed my mind. i am the most loyal friend. i think any type can cheat on their girl. yes, an ESTp would prolly do it to see how far they can take it but that is all. all the SLE's i know are loyal to their friends and only do bad deeds to people who don't qualify as being in their inner circle. i think SLE's tend to see people for what they really represent. that they are impermanent in their life and, as such, are worthy of a good backstabbing. nothing personal. some even ask for it. :wink: hell, they might even resent you if you don't use them. and ime, most are willing to forgive our adorable quirks.

you sound like you could be my estp ex husband who after 15 years cheated on me with our co-worker, defrauded me out of $30,000, and left me with our 3 and 8 year old girls.

[mustachio]

almost everytime somebody mentions SLE's in a thread, someone recalls how vile they are. well, yes we're not angels but we're not the scum of the Earth either. i personally have never cheated on a girlfriend. not even crossed my mind. i am the most loyal friend. i think any type can cheat on their girl. yes, an ESTp would prolly do it to see how far they can take it but that is all. all the SLE's i know are loyal to their friends and only do bad deeds to people who don't qualify as being in their inner circle. i think SLE's tend to see people for what they really represent. that they are impermanent in their life and, as such, are worthy of a good backstabbing. nothing personal. some even ask for it. :wink: hell, they might even resent you if you don't use them. and ime, most are willing to forgive our adorable quirks.

you sound like you could be my estp ex husband who after 15 years cheated on me with our co-worker, defrauded me out of $30,000, and left me with our 3 and 8 year old girls.

well, i assure you i'm not!

[mustachio]

plus, that's only one dude! you can't generalise!

[Blaze]

i know. i kinda flew off the handle for a sec there. i'm still really angry about it.

word of warning: don't allow yourself to be seduced by self-serving thoughts and actions. very typical of SLE's, sorry to say.

[Khamelion]

My type is estp.

Maybe that's why you have a problem with me - you see me as competition.

Not to mention you are both very abbrasive when you feel threatened.

Threatened by whom?

Most everyone who crosses your path in a volatile way. Or in a way that you percieve as volatile.

[zenbrat]

almost everytime somebody mentions SLE's in a thread, someone recalls how vile they are. well, yes we're not angels but we're not the scum of the Earth either. i personally have never cheated on a girlfriend. not even crossed my mind. i am the most loyal friend. i think any type can cheat on their girl. yes, an ESTp would prolly do it to see how far they can take it but that is all. all the SLE's i know are loyal to their friends and only do bad deeds to people who don't qualify as being in their inner circle. i think SLE's tend to see people for what they really represent. that they are impermanent in their life and, as such, are worthy of a good backstabbing. nothing personal. some even ask for it. :wink: hell, they might even resent you if you don't use them. and ime, most are willing to forgive our adorable quirks.

Exactly. This has been my experience with (and understanding of) several ESTp's.

If they do you "wrong", it is because you are "foe". You either haven't proven trustworthiness, or you turned on them (somehow). They won't tell you when your 'in or out' status changes... but you'll be able to tell, very clearly.

[Vicki]

I like them because they are straight up hilarious. Put me in a room with an ESTp and I wont be able to stop cracking up. The only other type that has that that affect on me is ISFj.

I admire their assertiveness because it's something I wish I had more of. They also make me feel comfortable and safe to be around. When I'm with them there is a strange sense of inner happiness inside of me that I don't really feel from any other type.

omg, that describes it to a T with me..

[Sam Rockwell]

Kind of like this?

[jessica129]

HAHAHAHA