Betas don't like being psychoanalyzed?

[Ms. Kensington]

i just met an enfj guy and i said "i know exactly what kind of person you are" and he seemed to get pissed at that.

Is this a beta thing in general? Someone told me once that Betans don't like this kind of psychological analysis talk but it slips out of me sometimes. I like to be known, but I didn't think it was an Ne/Si thing.

[force my hand]

i just met an enfj guy and i said "i know exactly what kind of person you are" and he seemed to get pissed at that.

Is this a beta thing in general? Someone told me once that Betans don't like this kind of psychological analysis talk but it slips out of me sometimes. I like to be known, but I didn't think it was an Ne/Si thing.

Weird. If someone said that to me, I'd be intrigued and would want to hear more.

[Kristiina]

maybe you said it in a way that he would find offencive - maybe your expression said, "I know all about your kind, and I'm not surprised you're no different from the rest.".

[Gilly]

maybe you said it in a way that he would find offencive - maybe your expression said, "I know all about your kind, and I'm not surprised you're no different from the rest.".

Yeah, that would be my guess, and I can see how an EIE would take that to heart.

[maze]

Is this a beta thing in general? Someone told me once that Betans don't like this kind of psychological analysis talk but it slips out of me sometimes. I like to be known, but I didn't think it was an Ne/Si thing.

Yeah, maybe there's something in the way you said it? Maybe not.

Well, if you told me you knew exactly what kind of person I was...I'd be slightly apprehensive because I'd feel like...I was devoid of mystery. A replica. There's something nice is feeling like you are uniquely you. But after the initial shock wears away, I'd like to know why you said that. Hear you out.

[raisonpure]

"Oh yeah? You think you know how I'd cry myself to sleep from thoughts of the past? You think you know my ideals? How I proceed about playing games? How I tense up when I'm on a bus that's travelling on an entirely foreign route? How I get into trouble because I hesitate from asking for help, and want to solve everything on my own? How I'm always starting up a project, only to get distracted by another interesting prospect? So what if you know what kind of person I am? You don't know my soul. You can't see me for who I really am, arrogant moron."

[idealistichick]

i just met an enfj guy and i said "i know exactly what kind of person you are" and he seemed to get pissed at that.

Is this a beta thing in general? Someone told me once that Betans don't like this kind of psychological analysis talk but it slips out of me sometimes. I like to be known, but I didn't think it was an Ne/Si thing.

We are very defensive people. If someone said that to me I would be offended at first and I would usually reply with "So what is that supposed to mean?" Just reassure him that you meant that in a good way.

[Sorc]

mmm ENFj are mysterous of some kind, or at least trying to be, and really ,this prase you said is wrong according their inner world. I think he just understood that you know his internal vivid ENFj world he live in, and i can assure you, you not understand and not even imagine what and how vivid it is.
At socioscope.com about ENFj : "You think you know who i am? I can say You for sure you dont know a bit, even allitle about myself" < and yes, those personas contains most wide range of stuff you can expect for.
You better tell that guy that you know about him allitle, in general, while details are not understandable for you... he will react other way

and i can assure you this if more less the reaction you should get for this. Sorry to say, but in that situation you noone as an arrogant moron indeed, and in case it not fits you you better explain yourself quickly and kindly, saying that you dont know nothing (it is truth) and just know that you dont know nothing, cause he is EIE, and then you can tell him what is socionincs.

[Red Sky]

Well if you had said that to me I would have looked at you in a weird way and I would have thought that you are arrogant. Anyways hi everyone, a new ENFJ in town

[mr_maguoo]

^ Are you single?

[Ms. Kensington]

Hi Magoo.

Everyone, I had a chance to ask the ENFj if he was offended and he said not at all. Looks like I was just paranoid. Or maybe he was just smooth.

[Red Sky]

^ Are you single?

Yes I am.

[Sorc]

Or maybe he was just smooth.

this, alsthrougfh i was not pissed too, its not called pissed, it would be like: umm arrogant guy? mabby he lost? or he knows something interesting? (here i was analyzing intonation and details of your mimics when you said that)..

so it wont be pissed at all, it like "get out noob"

[Ms. Kensington]

he said "i knew you didn't mean it that way." Anyway, this was after we'd talked for a few hours so he had probably warmed up to me by then.

[Sorc]

yep thats sounds okay, after some calming, thinking and stuff he/me/other ENFj can even be interested in "things you got" ... though all it depends of your behaviour when you say, and more important - after you do that....

[astralsilky]

i just met an enfj guy and i said "i know exactly what kind of person you are" and he seemed to get pissed at that.

Lots of people would be put off by that, regardless of quadra. Probably most people, actually.

[Sorc]

i just met an enfj guy and i said "i know exactly what kind of person you are" and he seemed to get pissed at that.

Lots of people would be put off by that, regardless of quadra. Probably most people, actually.

yep

[Ms. Kensington]

i just met an enfj guy and i said "i know exactly what kind of person you are" and he seemed to get pissed at that.

Lots of people would be put off by that, regardless of quadra. Probably most people, actually.

If most people are put off by that, it wouldn't tell me how ENFjs would react to it if there is such an phenomenon.

I agree that anything negatively stated is not pleasant; that's not necessarily what this statement is. Most people would not be put off with "i like nice people, i know you are a nice person", for example.

[Ms. Kensington]

I actually spoke with him again yesterday he's making me think. Prior to real life experience with an ENFj I felt like they would be easily offended, but that this was markedly different than INFps who seem to not get phased by anything.

However after prefacing many new topics with a statement about being offensive this ENFj told me that nothing could offend him. The first paragraph of what I've written is the purpose of this thread.

[uninspired]

"Oh yeah? You think you know how I'd cry myself to sleep from thoughts of the past? You think you know my ideals? How I proceed about playing games? How I tense up when I'm on a bus that's travelling on an entirely foreign route? How I get into trouble because I hesitate from asking for help, and want to solve everything on my own? How I'm always starting up a project, only to get distracted by another interesting prospect? So what if you know what kind of person I am? You don't know my soul. You can't see me for who I really am, arrogant moron."

Raisonpure hit the nail on the head. He likely isn't upset that you analyzed him, but that you made a judgment about him as a person based on only a small amount of available information. People are highly complex, and there's so much beneath the surface that outsiders can't understand. I know that in my case most people think I'm an incredibly outgoing, effusive person, but if you look at the entire me you'll see that's not the case. Maybe he thought that because you were making a judgment about his personality you were expecting certain behaviors from him, behaviors which may or may not have represented the entirety of his personality. In a nutshell, when you said you knew what kind of person he was, he probably thought, "wow, she has no idea about the person I don't reveal to everyone else." From what I know, ENFjs are people of dramatic contrasts. They might smile on the outside even if they're crying on the inside, and they have a rich inner life that defies explanation. Therein lays the issue.