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Thread: Enneagram talking styles.

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    Default Enneagram talking styles.

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    What do you think of that it seems very accurate and gives easy to recognize traits to type with

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    I’ve seen this before. I think it has a lot of truth to it. But I don’t fit 2 or 3 at all which is what you would type me as. 7 fits me almost too well lol.
    ・゚*✧ 𝓘 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉 𝒶 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 𝓘 𝒹𝑜 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓇𝓋𝑒 ✧*:・゚

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    preview.jpg


    What do you think of that it seems very accurate and gives easy to recognize traits to type with
    I don't know why image uploads are not showing for me like they used to. Here is another copy of the one you posted.


    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
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    https://youtu.be/JirvSuZQ-gA?t=225
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    I relate to a mixture of 4 and 9.

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    All of them.

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    Doesn't take integration/disintegration into account and thus misses a lot

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    its overgeneralised

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    Doesn't take integration/disintegration into account and thus misses a lot
    Like most charts it is limited in scope. They look like average to low average summaries of types. Here is some supplemental information for the thread.



    Defense Mechanisms

    ENNEAGRAM 1

    Reaction Formation

    Reaction formation is a psychological defense through which the human psyche turns something into its polar opposite to render it less threatening. So, in the face of "excessive demands and frustration" early in life, instead of feeling angry and rebelling, the One child takes on MORE responsibility, becoming a very good boy or girl. The fundamental fixation to be good and do the right thing motivates the One's focus on "positive" feelings and their denial or repression of their "negative" feelings.

    Reaction formation serves to relieve the stress of this difficult internal conflict. Focusing on and expressing more acceptable "good" emotions allows the One to push "bad" feelings into the unconscious.

    An example of reaction formation as an active defense might be the One's automatic tendency to be excessively nice to someone who they are actually angry or dissatisfied with. Reaction formation might also turn a rising feeling of envy at another's success into an expression of admiration for them. Through reaction formation, any emotion can be (unconsciously) denied by bringing forward its positive polar opposite.

    Reaction formation also functions to deny ambivalence: instead of fighting mixed feelings, like resenting someone you feel grateful for or hating someone you love, the One changes mental focus to allow themselves to feel only the positive end of this complex set of emotions.

    Reaction formation helps protect the One from outside criticism by ensuring that his or her expressions of emotion are controlled and appropriate. Reaction formation also defends the One against feeling the full force of internal judgement for feelings he or she feels is "wrong" or "bad" to have, much less express, like "inappropriate anger" or selfish desire.

    ENNEAGRAM 2

    Repression

    When there is suffering, an anesthetic serves a purpose. The Two's primary defense mechanism is repression, which serves as some kind of psychological anesthetic. Repression restricts specific perceptions or emotions to unconsciousness. It helps to insulate a person's psyche from a deeper source of pain so that the personality can keep the person functioning. Repression leaves the wound untouched, but the person is able to tolerate it---unfortunately, other feelings, not just pain and humiliation, get anesthetized in the process.

    Twos habitually repress feelings that might impede achieving a connection with important others. For instance, Twos often repress their anger because they believe it may create a separation from---or worse yet, prompt disapproval from---their loved ones.

    Put in another way, when a Two experiences an internal conflict between what they are feeling or thinking and what they believe they need to present to form a connection with an important person, they will repress their real thought or feeling to protect the relationship. They appear to "get rid of" the parts of themselves that someone won't like. This habit is why some people may experience Twos as "fake" or inauthentic, especially in charged situations.

    Repression is the defense mechanism that automatically anesthetizes Twos from the pain of early needs not being met. It is also the mechanism for pushing unappealing emotions like anger, sadness and envy out of sight, in the hope that others will meet the needs and desires they are too proud to express. As what is repressed inevitably leaks out, however, Twos can often be experienced as "needy" by those who can observe this leakage in ways that Twos can't, because their disowned needs have become a "blind spot" of their personality.

    ENNEAGRAM 3

    Identification

    The defense mechanism associated with this early coping strategy is identification. By identifying with---by locating and matching a specific image or model---and becoming what others value, Threes attempt to satisfy their need for approval, which substitutes for their underlying need to be seen and loved.

    Threes create such a compelling image to defend against the pain of not being seen and loved as they are that they begin to mistake their image for the totality of who they are. They OVER-identify with the image they create as a way to control how people respond to them, and in the process they may forget that they are not equal to their image. This is why they represent the prototype of something we all do: identify with our personality such that we don't realize we are more than our persona.

    But how does "identification" operate as a defense mechanism? It may seem strange that identification is even considered a psychological defense, as identifying with someone or something or modelling yourself after another can seem like a normal, benign activity. And while it is true that some kinds of identification have few, if any, defensive components, many instances of identification are motivated by a need to avoid anxiety, grief, shame, or other painful feelings. Identification can also be a way to shore up a shaky sense of self or generate self-esteem.

    Identification thus operates as a defense against painful feelings related to the early sense that love was conditional by allowing an individual to deliberately (though at least partly consciously) become like another person or an ideal of a particular kind of person. By adopting the characteristics of another person, or an image that others admire, you can reduce the threat of difficult feelings that grow out of a fear of not being seen and loved for who you are.

    But what do Threes identify with, exactly? Naranjo explains that "central to type Three is identification with an ideal self-image built as a response to the expectations of others," which often starts with the defensive effort to match ideal characteristics their parents valued. Threes defensively transform themselves into what important others---people in their environment who they want to impress---admire and appreciate. By noticing and adopting characteristics that others regard as valuable, Threes seek to match an external model to assure approval.

    ENNEAGRAM 4

    Introjection

    Introjection is the Four's primary defense mechanism. It is a psychological defense through which Fours internalize painful feelings as a way to protect themselves. As psychologist Nancy McWilliams explains,

    "Introjection is the process whereby what is outside is misunderstood as coming from the inside."

    Introjection operates as a defense mechanism by allowing an individual to identify with and "swallow" another person whole. When you introject someone, you take that person inside you, and whatever that person represents to you becomes a part of your identity. Through introjection, you give yourself a feeling of being able to control that person and whatever they do or stand for. For instance, if someone important criticizes you and you introject that person, you now experience that person's criticism as coming from inside yourself. And while you are being criticized, at least you have a sense of control---the illusion that you can do something about it---since the critic is coming from the inside, giving you the feeling that you can manage it instead of being subject to it.

    The appeal of this usually unconscious process is the implicit desire to exercise more control over the whole interaction. If we have been criticized, through introjection we can both manage the criticism and try to do better.

    In seeing how this defense operates, we can gain insight into something we all do: take what we experienced as being done to us early on and do it to ourselves. If you were criticized, you criticize yourself. If your needs weren't met, you neglect your own needs. For Fours, this means that they continue to subject themselves to experiences that were painful from the inside, both as a way of taking it in and trying to manage it and as an effort to protect themselves from being reinjured in a similar way.

    ENNEAGRAM 5

    Isolation

    Psychologist Nancy McWilliams defines isolation as a defense mechanism in which people deal with anxieties and other painful states of mind...by isolating feeling from knowing." When using isolation as a defense, a person unconsciously separates out the emotion connected to an idea from the idea itself. Fives feel more comfortable with thoughts than emotions, so they automatically focus on the mental or thinking part of a situation and render any emotions related to what they are talking about unconscious.

    Defensively reducing their awareness of their feelings protects from experiencing troubling emotions and also limits their (potentially dangerous) need for the support of other people.

    The defense mechanism of isolation, like many defenses, has a positive use: isolation can be of value in situations where experiencing feelings may be detrimental, as when a surgeon needs to distance herself from her emotions to be able to cut into someone, or when a military general needs to plan strategy without being overwhelmed by the horror of war.

    However, isolation can also lead to an inability to feel feelings at all, especially as fives overvalue thinking and underappreciated feeling. Fives also intellectualize emotions---talking about feelings without actually feeling them.

    To protect themselves from having to feel painful feelings like sadness, fear or loneliness, Fives withdraw from people who might stir up these feelings, separate their thoughts from their emotions, and identify themselves with the thinking function.

    ENNEAGRAM 6

    Projection and Splitting

    The primary defense mechanism of Type Six is projection. As in the case of introjection, when someone engages in projection as a psychological protection, the psychological boundary between the self and the world disappears. When Sixes "project", they unconsciously disown something originating from themselves and "project it onto", or experience it as belonging to, someone on the outside.

    As psychologist Nancy McWilliams explains, "projection is a process whereby what is inside is misunderstood as coming from the outside. In its mature forms, it is the basis for empathy...In its malignant forms, projection breeds dangerous misunderstandings."

    Oriented to detecting threats, Sixes psychologically defend themselves from their own internal sense of fear by unconsciously projecting it out or "getting rid of it", imagining that it originates in the outside world, often in another person. For example, if a Six is feeling judged or insecure about himself, he may imagine that someone else is judging him. By locating the fear as coming from the outside, he can avoid the pain of his own judgement or insecurity and then manage, or seek to control, the pain of inner judgement by relating to that other person in particular ways.

    Sixes deal with uncomfortable feelings like fear or self-doubt by experiencing them as being caused by someone else. By attributing the motives, feelings, or thoughts they do not want to acknowledge in themselves to another person, they expel them from their internal experience and feel safer inside. If someone else is causing them an experience or bad feeling, they can move away or be nice to them.

    Although projection serves primarily as a defense, easing a sense of inner threat, it can also cause many problems, as McWilliams notes:

    "When the projected attitudes seriously distort the object on whom they are projected, or when what is projected consists of disowned and highly negative parts of the self, all kinds of difficulties predictably ensue. Others resent being misperceived and may retaliate when treated, for example, as judgmental, envious, or persecutory."

    When you habitually locate the source of your own fear and discomfort in other people, you unconsciously create reasons to suspect, mistrust, or regard them as dangerous and potentially threatening.

    In addition to projection, Sixes also make use of a secondary defense mechanism: splitting.

    Splitting originates in an early stage of childhood and relates to the infant's need to organize its perceptions of people and things in simple terms of "good" and "bad". Developing at a time before young children can comprehend the fact that good or bad qualities can coexist in one person or one experience (which is called ambivalence, and is achieved at later stages in life), splitting operates defensively to reduce anxiety and maintain self-esteem.

    We can see splitting occur---both in an individual and on a collective level---when someone makes one person or group all good or all bad. This happens in politics when one side demonizes their opponents, and in wars where we perceive the enemy as completely evil.

    In individual psyches, and more specifically, within that of the Type Six individual, a person can use splitting to clearly differentiate who is good and who is bad as a way as feeling less fear---they locate the "badness", or source of fear, in a clear way so as to more easily cope with it. If you see yourself as bad and others as good, you can try to be better and rely on others to protect you. If you see yourself as good and others as bad, you can maintain your self-esteem and use your positive internal resources to protect you from a specific, localized threat from the outside.

    Splitting is the psychological reason why Sixes experience a large degree of guilt and self-accusation, and a firm belief that they are somehow bad. It can go both ways, however, with the Six viewing some other person---someone who they dislike or see as untrustworthy---as all bad, even when the other person objectively possesses both "bad" and "good" traits.

    ENNEAGRAM 7

    Rationalization and Idealization

    Type Seven's characteristic ease with reframing things into positive terms is connected to their primary defense mechanisms, rationalization and idealization. Rationalization as a defense entails finding good reasons for doing whatever you want to do, seeing things however you want to believe. Naranjo cites Ernest Jones, saying that "rationalization is the invention of a reason for an attitude or action the motive of which is not acknowledged."

    All of us rationalize to create theoretical support for what we do or what happens to us. This allows us to buffer ourselves from the pain we might feel when something unfortunate happens to us or when we want to do something even though it's not good for us. If we've suffered a setback, we can think, "it was a good learning experience," which may make it easier to avoid feelings of defeat or failure. If we want to eat another piece of cake, but we know we shouldn't for health or diet reasons, we can say to ourselves "it's just a small piece" or "it's okay because I will run 5 miles in the morning".

    Using rationalization, Sevens can find good reasons for whatever they want to do, think, or feel. And while finding a rationale for what you are doing serves as a defense in protecting you from having bad feelings connected to your behavior, it also keeps you from direct contact with your real motives and the feelings connected to the things you do.

    Seeing things in largely positive terms---or more specifically, needing to see things in positive terms---also leads Sevens to use the defense mechanism of idealization. Idealization allows Sevens to perceive people and experiences as being better than they actually are, imbuing them with superhuman or super-positive qualities; this allows Sevens to avoid reckoning with any flaws those people or things might have or any less-than-positive emotions they might inspire.

    In some ways, of course, idealization can be a normal component of loving someone. Children idealize parents when they want to believe that someone loves them and will keep them safe. But when Sevens idealize, they often do so to defend against feelings they might naturally have about the real person they are with. When this happens, idealization can keep them in a fantasy relationship instead of the one they are actually in. This can lead Sevens (often without their knowledge) to stay on the surface in a relationship and avoid a deeper experience of who the other person is, lest they tarnish the idealized version they have created in their heads.

    ENNEAGRAM 8

    Denial and Control

    The main psychological defense mechanism used by Eights is denial, especially when it comes to the need to appear strong and hide vulnerability. In order to give themselves a feeling that they can take on any challenge, Eights habitually deny any vulnerabilities they might have. After all, it can be difficult or even impossible to be strong and win the fight if you are preoccupied with your weak points and vulnerabilities.

    If you can totally deny that you have any weaknesses, you can experience yourself as invulnerable---and having confidence that you can't be hurt is a good feeling to have in trying to win a battle, dominate a situation, or survive difficult circumstances.

    Psychologist Nancy McWilliams defines denial by explaining that one way young children handle unpleasant experiences is "to refuse to accept that they are happening." In this way, inconvenient or painful truths can simply be denied and made false. Denial can be understood by anyone who has experienced a catastrophe of some kind, like the death of a loved one. The first reaction a person usually has upon hearing this kind of extreme bad news is "it can't have happened" or "it didn't happen".

    Another common defense mechanism associated with Eights is omnipotent control. Omnipotent control occurs early on in a child's life when a child "makes things happen" by evoking her mother's responsiveness. When the child is hungry, she cries, and the mother brings her food. When she is scared, the mother comes to protect her.

    At this early point, the child's merger with the mother gives her the sense that she controls the world. Later in life, we can sometimes imagine that things can be made to be the way we want them through a combination of denial and self-assertion. Thus, Eights sometimes believe they can change the way things are simply by exerting control over them, defensively imagining that they can direct the course of events in whatever way they wish without being subject to the limitations imposed by reality.

    ENNEAGRAM 9

    Dissociation

    Just as Nines represent the prototype of the human tendency to go to sleep to our own inner experience, their main defense mechanism, dissociation, is a component of all defense mechanisms as well.

    When we are young, the defensive structure of the personality grows up in response to some sort of pain or discomfort that is too much for our young psyches to withstand. There are clear advantages to dissociating when we experience something traumatic or painful: we cut off the pain and the memory of something that is extremely difficult to endure.

    The problem with this defense, however, is that when we use it habitually in situations in which our survival is not at risk---as a way to buffer ourselves from the minor discomforts of everyday life---we can lose touch with ourselves altogether in a way that prevents us from growing.

    Sometimes referred to as "narcotization", the principal way Nines dissociate from psychological pain or discomfort is through a kind of dimming of awareness, through putting themselves in one activity or another---reading, eating, watching TV----Nines distract themselves as a way of avoiding their own feelings, needs, and wants. Through many different kinds of unconscious maneuvers, including joking around, talking too much, or focusing on inessentials, Nines water down their experience of life, their interactions with others, and their contact with themselves to buffer themselves against the pain of separation, of not being heard, or of not feeling a sense of belonging.

    Source: The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Self-knowledge by Beatrice Chestnut

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
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    More on communication styles:

    The Enneagram and how it relates to communication is one of the most useful applications of the personality system. Finding effective ways to communicate with fellow human beings is a skill that will help us to reach our interpersonal and professional goals more effectively. Through observing people over the years and studying the Enneagram personality system and communication theories of some integral teachers such as Katherine Fauvre, Tom Condon, Don Riso and Russ Hudson and Elizabeth Waegle we have compiled a succinct overview of the types communication styles that can be incredibly useful in both typing others at work or in your personal life as well as understanding your own personal communication style and how you may be presenting to those around you.

    I will go through each type and outline the following: 1.) Their talk style, meaning how they verbalize the world, their cadence, whether they have high or low inflection, and the general type of verbiage that the type presents. 2.) The energy of the type, meaning how their presence feels (do they feel heavy, light, playful, serious, somber, sad, angry, rigid, etc) and what that means in terms of their type. 3.) Their personal image statements (which has been adapted from Katherine Fauvre's work on the Enneastyle) which will outline how the type sees themselves and the image or message they want to portray to the world 4.) Conflict style which will show us how the type engages 5.) Conflict resolution style including tips for how to resolve conflict with each type.

    Type One/The Rational Perfectionist: One's are rational, perfectionistic, ethical, critical and practical. One's are motivated by a desire to be good and righteous and uphold their personal standards. Ones may have trouble with irritation and anger and may be nitpicky and critical. At their best they are masters of efficiency, judgment but can relax and have fun as well.

    Talk Style: Proselytizing, teaching, preaching, informing, telling, educating and elevating. Energy: Rigid, upright, stiff, contained, solid, stoic, elegant, polished, assured. Image Statement: I am right; I am good; I know best; I want perfection. One's want to communicate to the world that they have it together, and are competent, right, and good moral people even though internally they may feel the opposite. Conflict Style: Faultfinding, nitpicking, condescending, poker faced, unemotional (or explosive if pushed too far), moralizing, admonishing. One's are triggered by being told they are wrong and will go on the offensive if their character is attacked. They may become moralizing or scolding. Some One's may retreat for fear of emotional display or may seem cold and distant. Resolving Conflict: Do not tell them they are wrong, but rather find a way you can validate their opinion while holding your ground. Try to avoid the words wrong, incorrect, or bad all together while in an argument lest you escalate it. Help them see the ways in which they are being angry or hurtful (in a gentle way, as 1s have a fear of their own anger).

    Type Two/The Heartfelt Helper: Twos are heartfelt, effusive, helpful, manipulative and people pleasing. They are motivated by a desire to help others and be seen as helpful and loving. Two's may have problems with ulterior motives, martyrdom and manipulation. Twos may have problems with neediness, manipulation and giving to get. At their best they are altruistic, loving, and nurturing.

    Talk Style: Effusive, relational, heartfelt, emotional, helpful, complimentary and managerial. Energy: Soft on the outside, hard on the inside, seductive, sticky, clingy, flirtatious, nurturing/motherly. Image Statement: I am helpful; I am nice; I am giving; My will be done; I have what you need. Two's want to be seen as helpful and kind people because this supports their self image. Two's will present themselves as someone who has whatever you need whether it is resources or attention. Conflict Style: Dramatic, wet, emotionally explosive, entitled, sulking, martyring, or blustery anger. Two's are triggered by the message that they are not kind or helpful or by the implication that their efforts to help are not well received. Conflict Resolution: Assure the 2 that you appreciate their efforts and that they are not in vain but remind them that they choose to do whatever it is they are doing. Remind the 2 that you want them to take care of themselves because typically their anger stems from the misdirected feeling of having to care for others. Acknowledge their emotional displays but do not pay too much attention to their histrionics.

    Type Three/The Successful Performer: Threes are successful, goal oriented, driven and image conscious. Threes are motivated by a desire to be seen as a winner and to achieve personal success. Threes may have problems with narcissism, arrogance and superficiality. At their best Threes are inspirational, encouraging and highly motivational.

    Talk Style: Expedient, professional, polished, peacocking, bragging, smooth, trendy, competent or mentoring. Energy: Tough exterior, hollow, steely, energetic, high powered, glossy, chameleon like. Image Statement: I am successful; I am a winner, I am impressive, I go for the goal. Three's want to be seen as someone who is successful and attractive. They will present themselves as popular and accomplished even if internally they feel lacking. Conflict Style: Evasive, arrogant, superior, dismissive, sly, undermining, narcissistic and condescending. Threes are triggered when they feel undervalued or dismissed. They may become angry when their success and driveness are misunderstood or undermined. Conflict Resolution: Try to set aside a predetermined amount of time to discuss problems. Don’t allow them to smooth things over with promises or apologies if they don’t understand the situation. If in an interpersonal relationship with them try to appreciate the hard work they put in but emphasis the important of relationships. Help them feel comfortable with expressing feelings rather than “just the facts” as this is a method they utilize to prevent feeling too much.

    Type Four/The Intuitive Individualist: Fours are creative, intuitive, melancholy, and original. Fours are motivated by a desire to express their inner world and to appear different and unique. Fours may have problems with moodiness, snobbishness and feeling above the common crowd. At their best they are insightful, emotionally aware and well grounded.

    Talk style: Breathy, lamenting, metaphorical, haughty, symbolic, specializing, discriminating. Energy: Fluid, flowing, poised, sensitive, intense, emotionally charged, melancholy. Image Statement: I am intuitive; I am deep; I am creative; I am different; I am correct. Fours want to be seen as special and creative and will exaggerate their differences to cover over feelings of being ordinary or mundane. Conflict Style: Haughty, condescending, emotionally explosive, detached or cold, hatefully articulate. Fours are triggered when they feel misunderstood or the sense anger or abandonment from the other person. Fours can become pointedly articulate and hateful when provoked. Conflict Resolution: Don’t try to have a completely rational discussion devoid of emotional content, it won’t engage them. Try to recognize their intuitive insight while still maintaining your own personal truth (4s like to tell other people what they are feeling, and they are usually onto something). Don’t let their histrionics or emotional outbursts drive you away. Take a time out if necessary so that emotions can calm down. Let them know if you’ve been hurt too and that your feelings are just as important as theirs.

    Type Five/The Lone Investigator: Fives are cerebral, remote, private, idiosyncratic, and high strung. Fives are motivated by a desire to intellectually understand the world in order to feel safe and secure. Fives may have problems with human interaction, anxiety and shyness. At their best Fives are intelligent, highly inventive, and can meld their insights with reality.

    Talk Style: Technical, knowledgeable, unemotional, detached, high strung, know it all, idiosyncratic. Energy: Prickly, detached, disembodied, contained, cerebral, removed and remote. Image Statement: I am knowledgeable; I need more time; I am intelligent; I think; I am different. Fives want to be seen as intelligent, rational and idiosyncratic. They may cultivate intelligence to cover over feelings of insecurity. Conflict Style: Detached, cold, cutting, dispassionate, childlike, passive aggressive, arrogant, overly logical. Fives are triggered by the presence of expectations (particularly emotional expectations) and emotional displays. Fives may become distant or blisteringly angry when faced with an emotional expectation. Conflict Resolution: Try to maintain some emotional stability while arguing. 5s like to keep to the facts of a situation and will detach when emotions get too heated. Walk away from the argument if you are to emotional as you will be unlikely to get a response. Tell them that your feelings are hurt without expecting them to do something about it (they become angry when there are emotional expectations). Don’t let them use knowledge or arrogance as a weapon and remind them you are a person not a robot or computer.

    Type Six/The Loyal Skeptic: Sixes are loyal, humorous, dutiful, anxious and doubting. Sixes are motivated by a desire to find a trustworthy authority in the world in order to help them feel safe and certain. Sixes may have problems with reactivity, doubt and anxiety. At their best Sixes are friendly, excellent problem solvers and supportive friends.

    Talk Style: Tentative, funny, friendly, warm (or prickly), engaging, rebellious, provocative. Energy: Mentally active, hyper-vigilant, anxious, contained, suspicious, penetrating, punchy and high strung. Image Statement: I am clever; I must be safe; I am loyal; I am harmless; I am "real". Sixes want to be seen as responsible, clever and loyal. They may cover feelings of insecurity with ingratiating niceness or sweetness or rebellious provocativeness. Conflict Style:Vacillating, blaming, victimizing, distrusting, cross-examining, quick and relentless. Sixes are triggered by feeling mistrustful or feeling blamed. They may become terrier-like and questioning when feelings of insecurity or abandonment are brought up. Conflict Resolution: Admit any ulterior motives. Try to stay calm but don’t dismiss them, Find common ground and allay their fears of abandonment or anger. Do not get lost in their arguing circle, if it feels like a marathon walk away. Hold your opinion but don’t be stubborn about seeing their point of view. Do not insult their intelligence or flatter or appease them. Don’t try to win, this will only escalate the argument. DON’T ever tell a 6 to calm down!

    Type Seven/The Enthusiastic Visionary: Sevens are enthusiastic, entertaining, versatile, flippant and future oriented. Sevens are motivated by a desire to stay positive and keep moving so they are constantly making plans for the future. Sevens may have problems experiencing negative emotions, keeping their commitments and excess. At their best Sevens are visionary, grounded in reality and progressively minded.

    Talk Style: High energy, fun loving, entertaining, storytelling, enthusiastic, evasive, exaggerating. Energy: Amped up, restless, airy and light, quick, spritely, mischievous, fast. Image Statement: I am free; I am exciting; I am entertaining; I want it all; I am positive. Sevens want to be seen as interesting, entertaining and fun. They may cover over feelings of inferiority or fear of boredom with big plans and interesting stories. Conflict Style: Fleeing, disinterested, condescending, arrogant, unaffected, mocking, explosive tantrums. Sevens are triggered by feeling trapped or limited and may try to flee the conflict or may react explosively to break free of negativity. Conflict Resolution: Try to allow them their space but hold them to a time when the conflict can be resolved, 7s will flee at difficulty and let them know how this affects your relationship. If they try to leave ask them to set aside time for you to discuss it (5s like this too). Don’t harp too much on what they are doing wrong or they’ll shut down. Don’t sugar coat things but try to reframe things so they can take in the information without feeling too threatened.

    Type Eight/The Protective Leader: Eights are assertive, bold, domineering, powerful and protective. Eights are motivated by a desire to be in control of themselves and their environment and avoid being controlled by others. Eights may have problems with anger and acknowledging their own vulnerable emotions. At their best Eights are strong, aware of their soft side and champions of justice.

    Talk Style: Bold, direct, unemotional, matter of fact, brash, impactful, empowering, offensive or limit pushing. Energy: Strong, solid, powerful, intimidating, big, overpowering, irreverent, laconic. Image Statement: I am strong; I am a survivor, I am in charge; I protect. Eights see themselves as strong and in charge. They want others to recognize their strength and to the extent they feel vulnerable they will project more power. Conflict Style: Blustery, domineering, violent, unemotional, dismissive, uncaring, rageful, vengeful. Eights are triggered by feeling controlled or dominated or by feelings of abandonment or disloyalty. Eights may become domineering, aggressive or incredibly cold when triggered. Conflict Resolution: Stand your ground and do not waiver in your opinion. They want someone who can hold their own against them. 8s will spar with people they love to test their strength. Try and set ground rules in an argument with an 8 and don’t be afraid to let them know if they hurt your feelings (this often surprises them). Try not to react to their intimidation tactics but don’t egg them on either.

    Type Nine/The Peaceful Mediator: Nines are peaceful, easygoing, self-forgetting, stubborn and gentle. Nines are motivated by a desire to maintain their inner peace by keeping themselves and their environments calm. Nines may have problems with repressed anger and denial. At their best nines are motivated, great listeners and engaged with the world.

    Talk Style: Peacemaking, agreeable, complacent, stubborn, saga-telling, passive (aggressive), noncommittal, receptive. Energy: Peaceful, grounded yet spacey, detached, open, sleepy, slow, vacant, doormat. Image Statement: I am peaceful; I am calm; I am easy; I am drama free; I am uncomplicated. Nines want to be seen as easygoing and peaceful and may deny problems or negative emotions to cover over secret feelings of anxiety or anger. Conflict Style: Passive aggressive, stubborn, pacifying, occasionally explosive, sleepy, unaffected, clueless. Nines are triggered by feeling internal chaos or being unable to escape negative feelings or emotions. They may go to sleep to the problem or suddenly become angry and belligerent like Eights or scolding like Ones only to calm down soon after. Conflict Resolution: Don’t attack aggressively or take a blaming tone, they will tune you out. Try to acknowledge that they want to find a point of agreement between the two of you. 9s will be afraid of your anger and may become stubborn or withdraw when you begin to show your anger. Assure them that your anger doesn’t mean that you don’t like/love them anymore (unless of course you don’t) but that it’s important to resolve this issue.

    -Sterlin Mosley Insightful Innovations www.insightfulinnovations.com

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

  10. #10
    Number 9 large's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fresh meat View Post
    I’ve seen this before. I think it has a lot of truth to it. But I don’t fit 2 or 3 at all which is what you would type me as. 7 fits me almost too well lol.
    yeahyeah but when we look at ur signature its 2>7

  11. #11
    Attis's Avatar
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    Accurate for me.

  12. #12
    divine, too human WVBRY's Avatar
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    This is going to apply (much) more to people who are unhealthy than to those who are balanced.


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