EII-SEE Supervision In Real Life (INFj and ESFp)

[Beautiful sky]

I'm fairly open about manipulative and abusive situations I've been in partly to illustrate how I've grown and what I've learned and partly to weed out stupid/incompatible people who would regard it as weakness.

That's still a demonstration of ones strength mainly in having overcome something

[HotSauce]

But everyone "overcomes" things. It's a part of life. You deal with it, learn from it and move on. If you are truly strong, it will show in how you handle life today. You won't allow yourself to be used again...however, this tends to not be the case.

A strong person doesn't allow themselves to get in that situation, knowingly.

I have overcome several things in life. But, who cares? You do what you've gotta do. What are you doing with yourself now is what is important. You can't float on the high of the self sacrifice boat forever.

INFJ says: I was used for five years
ESFP says: You knew you were being used? Why did you allow yourself to be used for so long?
Other INFJ says: You're so strong for overcoming that. What a moral character.
ESFP says: Why did it take you five years and $100K drained from your bank account to finally get the strength required to just leave? You weren't happy, right? I mean...all you have to do is put a deposit down on a new apartment and rent a u-haul.

I guess it's just not that simple to the INFJ though...on one hand I get it, on the other I don't. Still love you guys though.

[ashlesha]

I have noticed a tendency in Se types to be like just "duh that would never happen to me," an inability to put themselves in someone else's shoes, that i don't relate to. It seems incredibly naive.

Most people seem to think they've overcome a lot whether they have or not.

[Jeremy8419]

SEE shows EII how to bridge the weak spot, which is Relationships to Force. EII has issues turning relationships into bounded objects, so their relationships, which are their primary product, de-materialize without personal benefit. SEE uses relationships to gain. The interactions lead to EII not getting all their stuff jacked.

[Beautiful sky]

SEE shows EII how to bridge the weak spot, which is Relationships to Force. EII has issues turning relationships into bounded objects, so their relationships, which are their primary product, de-materialize without personal benefit. SEE uses relationships to gain. The interactions lead to EII not getting all their stuff jacked.

So there are a few people who can take advantage but it's not a big sacrifice for finding the relationships that can last. Those will stick around.

[Jeremy8419]

So there are a few people who can take advantage but it's not a big sacrifice for finding relationships that can last. Those will stick around.

I was complementing SEE.

[Beautiful sky]

I was complementing SEE.

Yes I know. It was a very nice post

[HotSauce]

SEE's just end up overcoming life struggles by flipping shit & having impulsive Britney Spears moments.

Gah. Story of my life, I tells ya.

I love it though.

[HotSauce]

I have noticed a tendency in Se types to be like just "duh that would never happen to me," an inability to put themselves in someone else's shoes, that i don't relate to. It seems incredibly naive.

Most people seem to think they've overcome a lot whether they have or not.

Ok. Well. Lemme see. I was born in the ghetto to a poor family, went to college and supported myself despite no family support, was making over $45K a year by the time I was 22 (this was in 2001 BTW), furthered my career, then married the wrong guy who wanted me to quit my career, then I dealt with three years of infertility with him and crying every time my period started, we then did two IVF treatments (have you ever had to give yourself an intramuscular shot with a syringe needle? I have!), then I delivered a baby naturally with no pain medication, a couple years later I decided marriage was not for me, divorced him myself despite not having a job or money, represented myself in court because I was too broke for a lawyer, then filed bankruptcy myself, represented myself in court again because I was broke, then with my fresh start I somehow managed to get a job despite not working for four years, got a one bedroom apartment for me and my kid to live in, I couldn't afford childcare though so rushed home daily in my beat up volkwagen to pick up my kid from school, survived on hot dogs and fish sticks to make ends meet, then I got a better job, moved into a two bedroom, then I got another job and doubled my salary again, and then bought a three bedroom townhouse in the suburbs and a brand new mustang. All the while my kiddo was very well adjusted child and a straight A student.

Just saying, if you are measuring things and all or doubting stuff I've managed to do.

[ashlesha]

I was annoyed at the victim blaming the other day but i got over it and don't care today. That's cool though. Anybody could judge you for all the things you could have done differently in your story but you sound like a strong person.

[HotSauce]

Se/Te = knows what needs to be done, gets stuff done.

[HotSauce]

Nah. No victim blaming. I totally get it. It's just that...you know you don't have to be a victim, right? Or do you secretly enjoy it. That's all.

[ashlesha]

Me? I'm not a victim anymore. Im just not going to believe anyone who says I'm not a survivor because i shouldn't have been a victim in the first place.

[Muddy]

I'm mainly just interested in hearing about this relationship, I don't really have much to provide myself as of yet.


In my experience most of the supervision in this relationship occurs over the SEE looking down on the EII's squeamishness and naively non-violent nature. One example I can think of is the EII stating that they don't like gory and violent movies and then the SEE responding by playing a SAW movie.

[Beautiful sky]

Hi I have several SEE in my life

To start off my father was SEE. He was driven by experience and he would often go out and do social things with his friends while my ILI mom stayed home and raised us. My dad often noticed my inability to like sensory things like food and he would point them out and he would often criticize me on these aspects. He was lazy and didn't care to do mundane things like cleaning and he often placed these tasks on me as I was the most caring and consciancious one. So I would clean and he would mess it up as though he didn't care about my efforts in the least so he was not mindful of how much space he occupied. I am the dual of LSE's who like to take care of things and make them last but my dad was the total opposite. He would often mess up furniture and get new stuff.

My brother is SEE and he too treats me like I'm anorexic though I am not at all. He will look at me like he noticed that I was pale and instead of showing concern will say "you're pale maybe you should get checked" anyway like my dad he doesn't like cleaning but his SEE wife won't have it so he's learned to contribute

Both are confident, both are very social and will often plan parties.

I can't be with SEE because their humor is raw unabashing and their teasing is too much to handle. With females SEE I can't trust them fully especially around someone I am with as I seriously have a concern that they lack relationship ethics. I do feel that when they want someone you are with they won't hesitate to get you thrown out.

I don't like their impulsive nature as again I am the dual of LSE's and I like to plan things with room for spontaneous action.

Overall they drive me nuts but I love them because I have family of that type and you can't help it.

More things I think SEE are Dishonest, don't believe that they will be forgiven, think that they are trying to be trapped, avoid responsibility, find easiest way out of things.

SEE women will use emotional manipulation to try to dominate a situation and swing thing according to their expectations and desires

[The Reality Denialist]

So which types are the most vulnerable for SEE manipulation? I think I'm immune unless I really want to get rid of them very fast when they become monstrous flies who can not leave your body alone no matter who much you try to swat them.

[Saoirse]

I'm EII, and my first long-term best friend in childhood was SEE. Perhaps our sociotypes were not fully developed when we were closest; I can't remember much of what we did together as kids other than try to sell things. We were quite entrepreneurial, but this was not purely her influence on me--I was pretty into "business" and "money" as a child. We drifted apart in middle school as she got more into fashion and the "popular" crowd, while I got more into art and the "goody-two-shoes" crowd. It always bothered me a little how easy she found lying. She often lied just for the heck of it, though not about anything serious that I know of. Around right before middle school, she was kind of known for being loud and obnoxious, and the popular kids shunned her and tried to get me to ditch her with them at a party once. At that time, I felt like I was very clearly choosing between social status and loyalty, and I chose loyalty. Even though she could be kind of annoying, I knew she was a good person and wanted to treat her as such. The last time I saw her was around when we graduated from college (different colleges though, so we hadn't seen each other basically since high school). We had a friendly conversation, and she asked intelligent questions about my research and was very warm and encouraging about it. I would characterize our current relationship as distant, but appreciative and respectful.

I also know an SEE from college that another EII friend and I absolutely do not enjoy spending time with. This SEE is so fake, manipulative, and obsessed with social climbing, it's really disgusting. She always talks about people behind their backs and judges them harshly. She's very egotistical and show-offy. Ugh, and the worst part is that a lot of people fall for her facade. *shudders*

There's someone I know who I am convinced is a Gamma extravert; take what I say about him with a grain of salt since I'm not sure if he's SEE or LIE. I will say our relation does feel more like he is supervising me than my relations with the above two SEEs. We didn't have much time to interact with each other in person (two long dates), but that short time with him inspired me to take more action. His goal, like mine, is to help poor people, but he was actually taking concrete steps toward progressing in it, whereas I was paralyzed by indecision/fear of not doing the ~*~ optimal ~*~ thing. Before meeting him, I was dragging my feet in my research/finding a dissertation topic. After meeting him, I was galvanized to action and started really pushing forward in my research.

So, there you have it, everything from fond neutralness to disgust to admiration, in SEE-EII relations.

[Delilah]

...
There's someone I know who I am convinced is a Gamma extravert; take what I say about him with a grain of salt since I'm not sure if he's SEE or LIE. I will say our relation does feel more like he is supervising me than my relations with the above two SEEs. We didn't have much time to interact with each other in person (two long dates), but that short time with him inspired me to take more action. His goal, like mine, is to help poor people, but he was actually taking concrete steps toward progressing in it, whereas I was paralyzed by indecision/fear of not doing the ~*~ optimal ~*~ thing. Before meeting him, I was dragging my feet in my research/finding a dissertation topic. After meeting him, I was galvanized to action and started really pushing forward in my research.

So, there you have it, everything from fond neutralness to disgust to admiration, in SEE-EII relations.

Yes, exactly my impression of these relations is that it works both ways, you can benefit (?) from supervisee etc

[Rebelondeck]

I cannot see any supervisor relationship working in the long term. An explorer (Ep) rarely has the same goals or priorities as would a planner (Ij); in this case, a hedonist is up against an idealist. SEEs may get preachy and critical about EII behaviour or the lack thereof, but intransigent EII moralists will eventually resent these sermons even though they may agree with the simplicity and practicality behind SEE thinking. Unfortunately, the SEE sees nothing useful in having the EII's depth of understanding so the supervisor loses out due to blissful ignorance........

a.k.a. I/O

[velveteen]

My experience with SEE has been generally good... except one who is pretty narcissistic, I cannot stand her. She lacks self-awareness and is easily offended by people stating the obvious about her. She's opportunistic, manipulative, rude and disrespectful. This probably has more to do with her upbringing than her simply being a SEE. She used to underestimate me a lot... but seethed in jealousy every time I would do better than her, which was pretty much always...

Other than that, one of my closest friends is a SEE... I love her. She's adventurous and fun, she encouraged me to try out a bunch of different things, but she's sort of always on the go and busy and I am way more mellow. Our lifestyles don't really match. But we have fun together.

[empineer]

Thanks, y'all. I think I might share my real life example of SEE supervision:
EII: I worked at the homeless shelter all day, but still had some time to drive across town and buy some Xanthan Gum and Kamut Flour and Spelt Flour and blah blah blah to make you some special gluten free bread for our lunch tomorrow. It will only take about 5 hours to prepare, so if you get here at 7 am we can eat by noon.

SEE: Homemade gluten free bread is so crumbly. Let’s just try that new gluten free bakery instead. Iris can come, too. It will be fun and so much faster and then we will have time to go to that new dress store.


EII (hesitantly, probably thinking of the Xanthan gum and kamut flour and spelt flour and all of that driving around town): Ok.

SEE to me later on: EII never buys anything new. I wish she would spend a little more time and money to update herself. Maybe she’ll get herself something new tomorrow. (Hurries off to help prepare for the homeless shelter gala.)

SEE at the dress shop: EII, why don’t you try this on? (holds up something bright and striking that the EII would never wear.) Ok, I’ll try it on myself.

The SEE buys the striking dress and looks like a million dollars at the gala. There is a picture of her in the newspaper with the donors she brought to the gala. The EII wears something understated and 10 years old and donates the money she saved to the shelter. The SEE goes to an afterparty with her donors after the gala. The EII declines to go to the afterparty, instead she stays up late and bakes the bread, which crumbled to pieces when she cut it.

this is such an awesome observation

[empineer]

SEE sometimes talks too much to EII, especially when they have some nervousness or something that bothers them. They just cannot stop talking, it can be so annoying. Since SEE is supervising, they don't think that it might be that they are actually using EII to calm themselves down by talking about their situation. They think they are helping. I have very close SEE friends, I have always had. They love me. But I never really love them. I just like them because they are so confident and forceful in friendships so I learn from them. But for me it is so painful to push them back when I have 10000000 more important things to do but they won't stop talking. They also try very hard to prescribe stuff to EII based on personal experience. Quite subjective. They tend to think EII has deathly physical or psychological problems while that EII can be perfectly fit and healthy

[empineer]

SEE shows EII how to bridge the weak spot, which is Relationships to Force. EII has issues turning relationships into bounded objects, so their relationships, which are their primary product, de-materialize without personal benefit. SEE uses relationships to gain. The interactions lead to EII not getting all their stuff jacked.

it is fucking irritating

[wacey]

I imagine in spirit it looks something like this. Although this is probably more conflictors, but you get the idea.

[Muddy]

SEE to EII- Your a pussy.

That's all I really think there is to this relation.

[PussyInASarcophagus]

Hi I have several SEE in my life

To start off my father was SEE. He was driven by experience and he would often go out and do social things with his friends while my ILI mom stayed home and raised us. My dad often noticed my inability to like sensory things like food and he would point them out and he would often criticize me on these aspects. He was lazy and didn't care to do mundane things like cleaning and he often placed these tasks on me as I was the most caring and consciancious one. So I would clean and he would mess it up as though he didn't care about my efforts in the least so he was not mindful of how much space he occupied. I am the dual of LSE's who like to take care of things and make them last but my dad was the total opposite. He would often mess up furniture and get new stuff.

My brother is SEE and he too treats me like I'm anorexic though I am not at all. He will look at me like he noticed that I was pale and instead of showing concern will say "you're pale maybe you should get checked" anyway like my dad he doesn't like cleaning but his SEE wife won't have it so he's learned to contribute

Both are confident, both are very social and will often plan parties.

I can't be with SEE because their humor is raw unabashing and their teasing is too much to handle. With females SEE I can't trust them fully especially around someone I am with as I seriously have a concern that they lack relationship ethics. I do feel that when they want someone you are with they won't hesitate to get you thrown out.

I don't like their impulsive nature as again I am the dual of LSE's and I like to plan things with room for spontaneous action.

Overall they drive me nuts but I love them because I have family of that type and you can't help it.

More things I think SEE are Dishonest, don't believe that they will be forgiven, think that they are trying to be trapped, avoid responsibility, find easiest way out of things.

SEE women will use emotional manipulation to try to dominate a situation and swing thing according to their expectations and desires

You just need to grow a backbone sweetie

[YXPR]

[Lord Pixel]

You just need to grow a backbone sweetie

Be careful what you wish for. Se PoLR doesn't play that. It only has 2 modes. 0 and 100.

[youfloweryourfeast]

My best friend is an ESI and her mother is an SEE. I can give some examples of her mostly getting a bit irriated with me. but it usually doesn't last long compared to issues I have with SLES, who can be much more persistant. I also have a lot of experience with SEES as I used to live in florida, still go there a lot and there seems to be a somewhat decent amount of them idk.
I see her mother as a generally kind person, but someone who can sometimes be too insistent. Though I like to observe and tend to look up to how she uses SE-Fi.
This example is not really that, but her getting annoyed with my ne, lol. Me and my ESI friend had to choose what we want to eat for dinner out of their fridge.
SEE "Which one do you guys want pretzel dogs, taquitoes, or chicken strips?" I just stared blankly at the fridge, not knowing which one and wanted to know basically, every single option they have.
Me EII "What else is there?" I said.
SEE "Just choose between the three, the pretzel dogs are new and would be a good choice." Throughout this entire exchange she kinda kept bringing up the pretzel dogs as implying, you guys should choose them. Then I kinda started to ramble on about which one.
EII "Well, any of them is good I guess taquitoes or chicken strips."
SEE "Ok, so which one then." (she just wanted a direct answer but I have the tendancy to go around the corners when it come to making a decision, hah.)
So finally the ESI just said for a final decision
"The taquitos are good."
Another example is an se polr moment and, I have noticed because SEEs ignore si, they may ignore someone's needs or just put them off at the moment, if it doesn't fit into what we are doing. Like at times I would complain about being hungry to the ESI and than she would tell the SEE who would look a bit annoyed.
This is when I was sick and when I am sick, I knew I needed to find a way to make myself feel better as if I don't, I will be in a bad mood and it will be noticable to everyone as I wont want to socialize ect., So basically I had told my ESI friend, I have cramps in a joking way and after some time, she said we should sit down maybe that will help.
Then the SEE went to search for some medicine in her bag.
SEE "Oh, look I found some!"
Then, she gave me two pills but never instructed how many I am suppose to take, so in my head I assumed I only need to take one.
I guess her viewpoint was that if I give someone two pills they would know to take both, but I just overthinked it too much and only took one. So I ended up handing back the other pill which she didn't notice either, and probably thought it was just the empty wrapper.
Then we all went to another store and after some times they both asked "Is your stomach feeling better?"
And I said not yet.
SEE "Did you take both of the pills?" I replied no, she looked a bit annoyed with me and I apologized, so then we went outside and I took the other one. Then after some time I ended up feeling better. The SEE brought up how I didn't take both again later, which in my head I thought was pointless and she's just trying to embarsses me again, but I didn't say anything about it of course.

[EUDAEMONIUM]

I also have a lot of experience with SEES as I used to live in florida, still go there a lot and there seems to be a lot of SEES in florida.

yup lol

[Lord Pixel]

At work my SEE friend literally came up to me and grabbed my hands and said, "Hands outta your pocket". as he did it for me. SXEs types are always shocked at the things I don't notice in my environment like "You JUST noticed that?!" whenever I point something out.

[pasleine]

I think my best friend is actually anSEE instead of an IEE. Dating an IEE helped me see how mystruggles with her are fundamentally different than it is with afellow Delta. As we've grown apart over the years I can't help but notice that she simply doesn't relax. We've barely talked in recent months, and all I've had to say to her is things like, "Remember to slow down every once in a while," "maybe you should meditate" because she just never really seems to. There's just something different about her priorities.

[youfloweryourfeast]

I think well I've been friends with two SEEs..One I met in a mental hospital the other in school recently, and we became friends. My friend in school is a bit more chill than the other girl I knew, who obviously there was more neurotic people there. I think the way I make friends compared to her is a bit more passive I guess. I do make a lot of acquaintances but I don't really go around a lot and a lot to different people maybe..I also think I have a bit of fear sometimes I guess it's more of a anxiety due to having lower s.
So one day I was waiting to go home and the day before this I was walking in the hall, and this random guy started talking to me or her loudly, or maybe it was some other people I have no clue. This girl quickly walked past me and she said some random things I can't remember and I just respond with yeah, and laughing at who ever was talking loudly then ran away. Then, the next day in school I usually wait a long time after school to get picked up because my mom is always late...I was just sitting on some random bench alone and I see her quickly walking toward me. She says "Can you come sit over here" so I said alrigrht and then after that we became friends.
The next day I see her at lunch and I go to sit with here and then she has all these random people around her. Soo then she starts saying all this things.
Her: "Hi guys this is my Casey(let say I am that) and starts pinting all these kids this is Jake, John, and Anthony or who ever else. She then says introduce yourself to all them.
So, am thinkning *uhh what do i say haha who are they??*
Me: Hi and I keep laughing or smth
SEE thinking wy she not say anything else?
Then, she says some other random girls name my friend Anne and randomly says "Anne did you do the homework or smth" loudly
am thinking how does she do that so easily? Then, she directly tells me to ask her friends certain questions. Other times like the SEE
I think this realtionship is the SEE kinda being very direct with herself to others or her and the EII kinda sees it as cool and helpful. If it used as a way to benefit the EII ofc. I noticed EIEs can go around forming a lot of friendships too but the SEE tend to be more 1-1 and can help change influence people more. I don't think SEEs would really care to get involved in some delta peoples problems or relationships, I think they just like to talk to a lot of people that intrests them.