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Thread: Socionics made me cRaZy!

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    Default Socionics made me cRaZy!

    Hi gang, it's been a while since my last post.

    Just want to let you guys know that I started seeing a therapist about my anxiety attacks, and she says i'm paranoid/having issues trusting people.
    Believing there are types of people out there made me believe that if I meet someone that makes me think about someone else, lets say someone that backstabbed me in the past, well I wont trust this new person from the start.

    My problem is that I share this fear with other people, of being attack by this stranger, and I have no proof that this person will attack me, or backstab me.
    I explain to them that this guy seems to be the same as this other guy I knew. I tell them what happened in the past, and it's like if I try to make them see that this person is the same, and same results might happen.

    Now I have quit 2 jobs because I can't trust the people I work with, I have applied for wellfair and I have to see a doctor to have a note about the anxiety that made me quit.
    I'm looking for a job that doesn't require me trusting people, either something with a lot of supervision and no opportunity for fraud, or something like cleaning buildings at night...

    Anyone else ever been diagnosed with paranoia?
    How do you trust people now?

    And WHAT"S MY TYPE!?!?

    I think I might be SLI, problem with Fi, or ILI (I love borderline girls)
    More ILI then SLI come to think of it..Might be IEE also, thought I was for a while, but I have a good Thinking, understanding systems and rules, able to work hard if the need is there. Having a hard time motivating myself, but when pushed by others, can accomplish great things.
    Idk..
    I'm thinking about dropping from socionics on the account that it's to much in development. Missing so many pieces to type people or myself..

    So yeah, Please share about trust, how does trust work? Who, why, how.. until what?

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    ■■■■■■ Radio's Avatar
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    i swwear yuo've made this exact thread before..... with the exact same title??? wtf is gobing on

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    I think you shouldn't focus on anything except yourself. fuck socionics. it's just a way to kind of understand people's workings. It's not a end-all be all.

    I don't really understand what your post is even about actually.

    It sounds like it's written by a teenage girl.

    but. hope you get to a better place emotional..............

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    Destroypuppy's Avatar
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    Well, now i'm seeing a therapist and I have no job.. It's worse.

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    I think that people can suffer from paranoia or experience an exteme distrust regardless their types.
    You do no give enough information to analyze your type....
    Having trust issues does not make you SLI. Crushing on borderline girls does not make you ILI.
    You just have issues... try to solve them. I know, easy to say... Courage, ça ira mieux un jour.

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    Jesus is the cruel sausage consentingadult's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LostInDreams View Post
    I think that people can suffer from paranoia or experience an exteme distrust regardless their types.
    You do no give enough information to analyze your type....
    Having trust issues does not make you SLI. Crushing on borderline girls does not make you ILI.
    You just have issues... try to solve them. I know, easy to say... Courage, ça ira mieux un jour.
    It's true, the core issue with SLIs is not a (paranoid) distrust of people, but more a matter of them feeling other people are not worthy of their love, it's difficult for them to admire other people.

    As to crushing on borderline girls (and other Cluster B personality disorder people), that can happen to anyone. I mean, just the sex with those people can be outrageously addictive, as it often goes beyond your wildest dreams!
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by Destroypuppy View Post
    Well, now i'm seeing a therapist and I have no job.. It's worse.
    Don't fuck around with your mental health. Keep seeing the therapist and get yourself stabilized. Socionics is a pastime, imo, for gaining self knowledge but it isn't going to work while you have other issues floating around in your head. It will get better if you continue with therapy, I'm sure.

    If paranoia is ruining your life it needs to be treated by any means necessary. I think the only true paranoid people I have met where drug influenced so I can't really talk about it being a mental health condition.

    http://www.minddisorders.com/Ob-Ps/P...-disorder.html

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    I was reminded of this thread when I heard this song on the radio this afternoon:

    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by Destroypuppy View Post
    Believing there are types of people out there made me believe that if I meet someone that makes me think about someone else, lets say someone that backstabbed me in the past, well I wont trust this new person from the start.
    It may be useful to take a break from socionics at this point of time. But that you are here, means that it must be hard. So, let me begin by telling you that your understanding of socionics is completely faulty. Types are not good predictors of specific behaviour. Meeting someone of the same type as someone who hurt you before does not mean that this new person will hurt you again, in the same way, or at all. Try to understand the specific causes of the hurt before you socionicalize it. Chances are, there are socionical explanations for it, but they aren't as important as the specific, situational explanation, which usually can be dealt with in a more realistic, relational manner.

    Stop fighting the shadows, friend.

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    I got my second meeting with my therapist today.
    I'm someone that doesn't respect others very often, I tend to say irrespectual things, mainly to provoke. But now I understand that I need to work on that, be more respectfull of others.
    Also, she said I have a high IQ... I have been tolled this often in my life, but I have a hard time taking that seriously, IQ isn't everything in life.
    Right now I have no job, IQ doesn't make money. Maybe I should go in research, like in science..
    Anyways, we found something about me that is "black or white", a perspective about me where there is no nuance, shades: Either I trust someone completely, or not at all.
    How do we translate that into socionics? Where is trust? Is it Ethics? Intuition?

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    I've been told I am a bad judge of character. I don't buy that for one sec. I just see things in people others can't. I am both trusting and mistrustful...I believe trust lies somewhere between ethics and intuition for me. Others might say it is a simple matter of logic. I suppose it depends on the person.

    And belief systems fuel it all.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    I also see things about people others do not always see, but I still need to respect people to get respect from them.
    I have trust issues right now, but I wasn't always like that, I used to see the good in everyone.
    I want to go back to that mind set, to give people a chance, make them feel good about who they are.
    I also need to work on my self-estime, to know that people can trust me, that I deserve trust, and to deserve it, you must provide it.

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    Thinking about it, just now, I can see that my trust is within myself. Not the other person. An example:

    I get into the car with a stranger and ask them to drive me home because my ride has disappeared. I do not automatically trust the person. I do trust my own ability to get myself out of trouble when I need to. I have proven this to myself over and over again. I trust others when they show they can be trusted. They may only have to say a word to me that show me I can trust them. It doesn't have to be complicated. I trust myself by default.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    I do trust my own ability to get myself out of trouble when I need to.
    This is what I need to work on. I will make myself a list of the troubles I had and how I got out of it.
    Thanks

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    Quote Originally Posted by William View Post
    Did you have any experiences as a child that made you trust people less?

    You said you "used to see the good in everyone". How long ago did you have this mindset? What happened to you that caused your mindset to change?
    Things happened recently (some months ago). It's because of a girl I liked. I just have to forgive her to move on.

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    It's easy to say it's somebody else's fault...

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    Socionics causes crises in me everyday. Sometimes I think I might be ENTj which is far cry from INFp.

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    Reading this tugs the heart strings terribly.

    You're certainly not the first person saying that Socionics pushed them over the edge temporarily. I know that's no real consolation but Socionics speaks to 'seekers' - and watching people stake their identities or world-views on it should give some people pause, hopefully. (I don't mean to imply anything about your personal situation in that.)

    Socionics is a work in progress, and a noble cause... What we have now though is the cocoon, maybe the caterpillar, but definitely not the butterfly. That's not to say it can't help (a lot of?) people in the meantime, but there's the better part of a decade's misinformation out there and navigating the shipwrecks can be tricky.

    You're embarking on a treacherous but thrilling journey so you're going to need a ship that can't be sunk - and that, in this case, is finding out your type...

    Quote Originally Posted by Destroypuppy View Post
    And WHAT"S MY TYPE!?!?
    From what you've written, it doesn't sound like you're seeking Fi... It sounds like you and the people you go for aren't good with it... I hesitate to say too much though because I've found that type is something people need to discover for themselves.

    Personally, I love it when people are straight-forward with me and give me definitive answers, but not everyone's like me. (I'm Ti-seeking.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Destroypuppy View Post
    So yeah, Please share about trust, how does trust work? Who, why, how.. until what?
    Good question! With me it's person-to-person, situation-to-situation, constantly in flux, depending on peoples' actions and reactions. (I'm Fi-ignoring.) That said, once there's love or even 'like' there's always love or even like... Short of someone killing my pet, the earlier good feeling remains.

    It takes a little time to recognize how you've been doing things and what you prefer in terms of Socionics... For me, a decade or so about did it
    Last edited by JuJu; 06-28-2014 at 04:14 AM.

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    i went through the same paranoia as you (definitely not as extreme as you tho) and this Stephen Colbert quote helped me

    “Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes'.”


    for me it was like opening pandoras box once i realized these other states of awareness i became overwhelmed by their meaning "can this guy who seems like an ESTp or w/e really be trusted ESTp cant be trusted right everything is an object to them im just a mass of atoms that moves to these psychopaths" my lack of understanding of the elements lead me to loose sight of what was really going on in reality and things that i didnt like became idealized as being very bad i became a cynic essentially thinking its not worth it
    even now i can remember how horrible i used to perceive reality as was and how true it feels its hard but if you never say yes nothing new will happen and the perception will stay the same

    and about typing dont think about it too much think about what you do figure that out and dont think too much about all the other stuff for some types the contradictions are ridiculous for instance take Ne ego types who may have given up on Si matters and looked around their room and said nope i dont give a flying fuck about cleanliness they may think they dont value Si but as you may know if you do Ne ego you do Ne ego
    another thing to consider is think of it like what fits best not fits perfectly this theory like im sure has already been stated may fuck you if you go looking for a perfect fit

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    Shame is my problem, this causes my social anxiety.
    That is why I use avoidance.
    EII

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Martrix View Post
    Socionics causes crises in me everyday. Sometimes I think I might be ENTj which is far cry from INFp.
    I was afraid of being IEE for a long time because I had a really annoying IEE friend and I didn't want to be the same type. Even though I knew that there are nice non-annoying IEEs.

    So now I am happily settled, for the most part, as the same type as H ******. Go figure.

    You are what you are. Your type name is just an an abbreviation of the great person that you are.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    If the problem is shame and the reaction is avoidance, then you're not neccessarily EII, you're just human. Confronting the issues that are causing shame isn't anyone's idea of a great time.

    Socionics shouldn't be part of diagnosing these "human all too human" problems. (Nietzsche -- "for when people are trying to sound vaguely well read and edgy. Use as directed."
    ) Socionics, you need to know, was mangled into so much noise by most of these English-speaking websites. Given the types you're throwing around, a site like "Socionix," which was founded by an old anarchist who didn't want to believe that he was in the same quadra as his beta father, is clearly an arch-culprit here... If you don't take that stuff with a grain of salt, then it can prevent you from understanding the over-riding messages of Socionics. Those in themselves are endlessly fascinating, but if you can't reap the practical benefits of applying Socionics then what the hell is the point?)

    I feel badly that you're suffering... And that these resources are failing.
    Last edited by JuJu; 07-01-2014 at 08:01 PM. Reason: Removed type advice

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    Quote Originally Posted by JuJu View Post
    If the problem is shame and the reaction is avoidance, then you're not neccessarily EII, you're just human. Confronting the issues that are causing shame isn't anyone's idea of a great time.
    Speaking from experience, this is too true. I think every type is capable of experiencing shame.
    You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek.
    But first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril.
    You shall see things, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... cow... on the roof of a cotton house. And, oh, so many startlements.
    I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the ob-stacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward.
    Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation
    .


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pukq_XJmM-k

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    Essentially, I'm wondering if your point in making this thread is to clarify your type or get advice about the other the other issues. (Obviously, the post is in "What's My Type," but given the nature of the problem, but I'm not sure how to move forward given the nature of what we're discussing.)

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    I have really bad social anxiety too, probably almost exactly the same problems with trust/social anxiety/provoking others. (I do this mostly from a safe distance writing disturbing fan fiction or badly timed jew jokes etc.)

    I remember when I first started work a couple years ago, every day for like months I threw up. I would get dizzy, my fear would run crazy. I just had to tell myself to calm down and that I was being irrational. But still the puke continued. It went on like this for about another year and a half until it finally went away. Now I still get nervous but only about every other day I have to go in and the vomit stopped completely. Also the dizziness diluted. Just like some uneasiness/butterflies. My only advice for this is you just have to stick it out and be uncomfortable for awhile until it gets better. Feelings feel so volatile but they're just feelings, not some core identity that you have. They just always pass through you.

    trust is never all or nothing. Nowhere in real life do I feel comfortable talking about my vulnerabilities much... if you want to build (minor trust) though I've found that sharing a story of how you were superficially physically hurt works a lot better than opening up an emotional/psychological wound. I can easily do this online because I understand most people are simply shy nerds like myself, but not in real life. But if you want to build empathy, human rapport with somebody talking about superficial hurts can help. People that I least expect it betrayed me before/was cruel & heartless so yeah trust isn't something you look for. I don't even really believe in it tbh... it's more like you just learn to trust yourself and you get stronger yourself slowly over time, what everybody else is doing is irrelevant. If you don't want everybody to know something about yourself, don't tell anybody it- it's that simple. No matter how much you think they are your 'dual/twu wuv soulmate.'

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    Quote Originally Posted by Iris View Post
    Speaking from experience, this is too true. I think every type is capable of experiencing shame.
    I believe the conclusion in this community was, at one time, that people with autism NTs Fi-PoLRs are incapable of feeling social emotions.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Holon View Post
    I believe the conclusion in this community was, at one time, that people with autism NTs Fi-PoLRs are incapable of feeling social emotions.
    what do you mean by "social emotions" ..?

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Martrix View Post
    Socionics causes crises in me everyday. Sometimes I think I might be ENTj which is far cry from INFp.
    You already have the evil scheming gaze.

    Nah, just kidding (or maybe not...).

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    Quote Originally Posted by MensSuperMateriam View Post
    You already have the evil scheming gaze.

    Nah, just kidding (or maybe not...).


    I can do the voice too

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    Quote Originally Posted by Destroypuppy View Post
    Shame is my problem, this causes my social anxiety.
    That is why I use avoidance.
    EII
    Not sure if this is your situation, but I have a friend that suffers a lot from shame. In her particular case, shame is not caused because she's not what she would like to be (you know, a standard person who feels frustrated because wanted level of self-development is not achieved). It is the idea of any person having a bad opinion of her what she cannot tolerate. She is unable to deal with the idea of being disliked.

    Many times she does things se does not want, or even choose others' benefit above her own. If not, she feels like a "bad person". But doing such things also makes her feel somehow abused by others, which also makes her feel shame. So she sinks in a circle or guiltiness and bad feelings.

    A calm person who puts certain objective, more impersonal, analysis of the facts of her life but simultaneously being emphatic (that is, providing the confidence of not being judged in any way) is what usually helps her more successfully. I have also tried to make her understand that having certain level of selfishness is not just acceptable, but legitimate and good. But I have failed about this.
    Last edited by MensSuperMateriam; 07-02-2014 at 02:38 PM.

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