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Thread: Why I Always Seem Angry at Socionics

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    Default Why I Always Seem Angry at Socionics

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    Last edited by jason_m; 11-25-2019 at 03:51 PM.

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    You dictate the theory, as you are the creator of your own life.


    If theory dictates you, then the Russians have won...


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    Why are you even looking for a soul job? Follow the money. You are getting paid to do something. That is why we work. It's an exchange of labour. So that is all you should care about.

    Where can you put your talents and get the most out of it? That is what you should be asking yourself.

    Do what you love in your free time. Some people don't even need that. They are just happy getting paid. But that is a different subject.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Samson View Post
    You dictate the theory, as you are the creator of your own life.
    If theory dictates you, then the Russians have won...
    Ti confirmed

    Quote Originally Posted by COOL AND MANLY View Post
    Why are you even looking for a soul job? Follow the money.
    to feel good a human needs to follow own heart, - to the destination and individual values
    if you do what you do not like - it's a slavery and so makes not happy
    material property is not anything needed. for Si valued types it's lesser interesting

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    Humans are social creatures, it is natural to want or need to be connected to others at some level. However, if you don't have yourself, then you will always have no one despite of the number of people around you.

    Some people think that if they find the one, then all of their problems will go away or won't matter that much. That might be true to some extent for some time due to hormonal changes, however, then reality kicks back in. In socionics context the one equivalent to dual. Dual is going to cover all your problems, dual acts like you expect and you act as your dual expects others to act, it sounds like scam. No one is carrying their dual along with themselves 7/24, every person has got to deal with their own problems at certain times. If there is a person who carries their dual 7/24, then it is a problem itself. Duality is no magic, there are problems in every relationship. If someone hasn't dualized before, duality doesn't start and go on smoothly. Even though duals unconsciously communicate and provide each other needed info, they don't always consciously want or need them, they might consciously be against to their unconscious needs due to upbringing etc. It is great to be connected to someone, but there are always going to be problems. No relationship is problem free and there are other areas in life and they are also not problem free, relationships doesn't make them go away.

    People spend majority of their time at work, it would be better if more people would search for a compatible occupation. Most people endure their job because of the money or the need of money or just because others also endure it. I think there are multiple ways to accomplish a task and there are a great number of occupations. You can establish your own way instead of following the usual. We can establish our dual career instead of finding one. I think in order to establish a dual job, one must show solid effort and work even just to eliminate non-duals and take some risk. Dual job is also not served in a plate for most people.

    A lot of people feel alone. A lot of people search for other people that they could feel connected. A lot of people search for a purpose. A lot of people search for a purposeful career. A lot of people don't have dual person, career, etc. Some people aren't aware of some or all, some are aware but they sweep these under the rug. Some people are still searching for some and/or all. Some people are fine with what they have found. Once a person is aware, problems also don't go away, we have to do deeds. May Morpheus and Janus help us all.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
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    Very interesting please make more threads where retards delete the main post leaving me all disappointed

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    The most active socionist at this point, Gulenko, doesn’t even think he’s married to his dual. He’s also way too accessible and turdlordy. The rest of us don’t stand a chance.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    Very interesting please make more threads where retards delete the main post leaving me all disappointed
    I'll keep it brief: I keep finding the types that are 'Fe' always seem to value 'Se.' Therefore, it never works and I have no dual. In the end, if it's your type, you're both going to have to explain why your dual is always some kind of b*tch or jerk or wh*re, and why therefore I have no chance.

    Because of this theory, I have no dual, no soul career - really no career of any kind. It has just ruined my life, and there is no rational explanation why it should be this way...

    And I can keep hearing people: "go with peacemaker", "go with director", "go into philosophy" on and on. Sorry, two types and one career I couldn't give a sh*t about and there is therefore no dual and no kind of work for me at all. This has just ruined my life. Because of this theory, my life is now destitute...

    I can also just hear people: "if you want money, just get a job you goldbrick." Here's a thought: because of socionics, no career works. Is getting what is now an office-esque job going to help save my life? I can now afford to buy what I want, but complete poverty is now replaced by an absolute dead-end job... That's why I look at my life and say: "How the hell did this happen? How could socionics cause this?"

    And I can just hear my 'dual': "You're not honest enough. That's why I don't like you." This post is me being honest. Do you like what you hear? Why do you think I'm usually not completely honest about things?
    Last edited by jason_m; 11-26-2019 at 06:43 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    I'll keep it brief: I keep finding the types that are 'Fe' always seem to value 'Se.' Therefore, it never works and I have no dual. In the end, if it's you, you're both going to have to explain why your dual is always some kind of b*tch or jerk or wh*re, and why therefore I have no chance. Make sense?

    Because of this theory, I have no dual, no soul career - really no career of any kind. It has just ruined my life, and there is no rational explanation why it should be this way...

    And I can keep hearing people: "go with peacemaker", "go with director", "go into philosophy" on and on. Sorry, two types and one career I couldn't give a sh*t about and there is therefore no one and no kind of work for me at all. This has just ruined my life. Because of this theory, my life is now destitute...

    I think you've invested just a tiny bit too much faith into socionics my friend. Socionics and theories regarding duality is should be taken as a guide not as the word of god in which your life is doomed if are this or that type.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    I'll keep it brief: I keep finding the types that are 'Fe' always seem to value 'Se.' Therefore, it never works and I have no dual. In the end, if it's your type, you're both going to have to explain why your dual is always some kind of b*tch or jerk or wh*re, and why therefore I have no chance. Make sense?

    Because of this theory, I have no dual, no soul career - really no career of any kind. It has just ruined my life, and there is no rational explanation why it should be this way...

    And I can keep hearing people: "go with peacemaker", "go with director", "go into philosophy" on and on. Sorry, two types and one career I couldn't give a sh*t about and there is therefore no one and no kind of work for me at all. This has just ruined my life. Because of this theory, my life is now destitute...

    And I can just hear my 'dual': "You're not honest about things enough." This post is me being honest. Do you like what you hear? Why do you think I'm not completely honest about things?
    Dude, if you are LII your dual has 4-dimensional Se. That is gonna show up one way or another. You are not ready for that? ESE do value Se to some extent. It's one of their strengths. What are you smoking my dude.

    As for your career choice, like I said. If you have no job then you are fucking useless. You can't support yourself. Find a stable job with a pay you can survive on and work yourself up from there. I have no idea about your current situation so I can't really offer any concert advice, but nothing really comes easy. No one is going to throw money at you for being X type. Even your dream job has requirements. How can you be so dense?

    Also, there is no right answer for these questions. You are not a droid. Maybe instead of blaming others for steering you the wrong way start planning your own life and making your own decisions.

    You are not lacking in self confidence so that is good, but you are crazy if you think things should fall on your lap just like that.

    “Success is when preparation meets opportunity."

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    Quote Originally Posted by COOL AND MANLY View Post
    Dude, if you are LII your dual has 4-dimensional Se. That is gonna show up one way or another. You are not ready for that? ESE do value Se to some extent. It's one of their strengths. What are you smoking my dude.

    As for your career choice, like I said. If you have no job then you are fucking useless. You can't support yourself. Find a stable job with a pay you can survive on and work yourself up from there. I have no idea about your current situation so I can't really offer any concert advice, but nothing really comes easy. No one is going to throw money at you for being X type. Even your dream job has requirements. How can you be so dense?

    Also, there is no right answer for these questions. You are not a droid. Maybe instead of blaming others for steering you the wrong way start planning your own life and making your own decisions.

    You are not lacking in self confidence so that is good, but you are crazy if you think things should fall on your lap just like that.

    “Success is when preparation meets opportunity."
    My "4-dimensional Se" is a function I hide and don't like. When I use it, this is what comes out AND I CAN'T STAND IT. THAT'S WHY AND I DON'T USE IT! If I were to use it, I would just crush people, so I don't. When I see it used on other people, I don't like it either. Whether it's my weakest function or not, for the reasons stated, it's my least valued function.

    I also find your advice on career to simply be finger-pointing. Do you have any actual innovative, intelligent advice about finding a career? That I'm 'useless', 'lacking self-confidence', 'blaming others', etc. is not really helpful. I would rather have something I could take to the bank and make a career out of...

    The real problem for me is that most careers are not creative and involve tedious, repetitive work - simply feeding data into the computer for hours. I really need something creative or innovative - "architect," "scientist," "inventor." However, those jobs are simply few and far between, so I might be stuck with what is just office work, which now feels like hours of drudgery. I do not know what to do...
    Last edited by jason_m; 11-26-2019 at 07:16 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    I'll keep it brief: I keep finding the types that are 'Fe' always seem to value 'Se.' Therefore, it never works and I have no dual. In the end, if it's your type, you're both going to have to explain why your dual is always some kind of b*tch or jerk or wh*re, and why therefore I have no chance.

    Because of this theory, I have no dual, no soul career - really no career of any kind. It has just ruined my life, and there is no rational explanation why it should be this way...

    And I can keep hearing people: "go with peacemaker", "go with director", "go into philosophy" on and on. Sorry, two types and one career I couldn't give a sh*t about and there is therefore no dual and no kind of work for me at all. This has just ruined my life. Because of this theory, my life is now destitute...

    I can also just hear people: "if you want money, just get a job you goldbrick." Here's a thought: because of socionics, no career works. Is getting what is now an office-esque job going to help save my life? I can now afford to buy what I want, but complete poverty is now replaced by an absolute dead-end job... That's why I look at my life and say: "How the hell did this happen? How could socionics cause this?"

    And I can just hear my 'dual': "You're not honest enough. That's why I don't like you." This post is me being honest. Do you like what you hear? Why do you think I'm usually not completely honest about things?
    I think therapy would be more useful than socionics at this point.

    Maybe it's best to take a step back and leave the theory alone for a moment.

    Using socionics to learn about yourself and gain confidence should precede using it to find a "soulmate" or a carrer path. Otherwise you risk to undermine your sense of self-worth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    My "4-dimensional Se" is a function I hide and don't like. When I use it, this is what comes out AND I CAN'T STAND IT. THAT'S WHY AND I DON'T USE IT! If I were to use it, I would just crush people, so I don't. When I see it used on other people, I don't like it either. Whether it's my weakest function or not, for the reasons stated, it's my least valued function.

    I also find your advice on career to simply be finger-pointing. Do you have any actual innovative, intelligent advice about finding a career? That I'm 'useless', 'lacking self-confidence', 'blaming others', etc. is not really helpful. I would rather have something I could take to the bank and make a career out of...

    The real problem for me is that most careers are not creative and involve tedious, repetitive work - simply feeding data into the computer for hours. I really need something creative or innovative - "architect," "scientist," "inventor." However, those jobs are simply few and far between, so I might be stuck with what is just office work, which now feels like hours of drudgery. I do not know what to do...
    No function is evil by itself, and that doesn't mean you can't learn to tolerate it or use it yourself, not according to socionics anyway. You are aware of it, so that is the first step. You need a little Se in your life just as much as anyone else.

    I don't have a magical hat. Tell me your age, current job/field of study, are you homeless or not, who pays your bills, what are your ambitions in life.. then maybe I can give you something specific.

    The careers you listed are not impossible to get into. But do you honestly think you will find yourself in these jobs and why? Do you have any experience in these jobs? Any work that shows your potential? And can't you find another outlet for your creativity outside of your career? Like a hobby or something? Have you heard of FIRE? You don't have to work forever. Some people retire at 30 or 40 and create their own business.

    You are not stuck. There are plenty of options. You just have to change your mindset and decide, where you want to be and what are you willing to sacrifice to reach there. Is it time, is it money, or your first born son?

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    I want to explain a little more about Se: it can be used in a heroic way: there are movie heroes, police officers, and military personnel who use it in a good way. Those people I completely respect. The problem is when it is used in such a way that is sick. To abuse or belittle others, to torture others in some way with it, to bring it to someone's life in a way that is sick or twisted just enrages me. And then that creates a problem: should I use it? If I were to use it, I would come down so hard on the people who are using it, I would just shatter them, but then I would feel ashamed. And then using it makes me feel like I'm like them in some way - even using it in any way makes me feel ashamed. A big part of it is because I cannot find the right dose - I either cannot hit back hard enough or I come down so hard that I just destroy someone, and I therefore hate using it, so I do not use it.

    It's not the only function that makes me angry: there is also crackpot religion and crackpot spirituality that I see sometimes being used in a sick way: reincarnation or karma in someone's life who is supposed to be Christian, near death experiences where people come back saying that ****** taught the Jews a 'lesson', karmic practices where spirits 'vote' or 'bet' on someone's fate, 'psychics' with phony smiles and phony demeanors who really have nothing nice to say. The notion that 'all evil is forgiven,' no matter how rank the issue is, including matters such as the Holocaust and Apartheid. People with mental issues not getting the right spiritual treatment, because they're 'clinging to the ghosts.' Satanists and Luciferians whose religious practices involve abusing others. (Those people are not 'Se', but I absolutely cannot stand them.) Fast food spirituality, such as Sylvia Browne or James Van Praagh. Someone mentally ill experiencing 'hallucinations from ghosts' that are supposed to have 'spiritual meaning' or 'significance.' Stupid, pedantic ideologies such as 'it's a cardinal sin to go to church only during the week, but not on Sundays' (That one was Se.) Most of these things don't enrage me, but the logic behind them is so bad that I just want to vomit...
    Last edited by jason_m; 11-26-2019 at 10:10 AM.

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    This is why you’re an IEE dude. Obviously Se and Ni devaluing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    The most active socionist at this point, Gulenko, doesn’t even think he’s married to his dual. He’s also way too accessible and turdlordy. The rest of us don’t stand a chance.
    Duality in socionics is a lie.

    The entire relational aspect of socionics is moot, human relations are far too complex to describe in the manner in which socionics tries to.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chakram View Post
    Duality in socionics is a lie.

    The entire relational aspect of socionics is moot, human relations are far too complex to describe in the manner in which socionics tries to.
    I don’t think it’s a lie, but its effect is non-significant enough to only be considered a small factor in most circumstances.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chakram View Post
    Duality in socionics is a lie.

    The entire relational aspect of socionics is moot, human relations are far too complex to describe in the manner in which socionics tries to.
    Of course relations are much more complex than socionics, I don't think anyone who knows socionics would disagree with that. Socionics is not even trying to describe relationships in its totality. It makes a typology of relationships because intertype relationships is a important contributing factor to the basic chemistry between people, although not the only factor.

    And duality is not that hard to experience if you date a lot, and many people have experienced it already, including myself.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallmo View Post
    Of course relations are much more complex than socionics, I don't think anyone who knows socionics would disagree with that. Socionics is not even trying to describe relationships in its totality. It makes a typology of relationships because intertype relationships is a important contributing factor to the basic chemistry between people, although not the only factor.

    And duality is not that hard to experience if you date a lot, and many people have experienced it already, including myself.
    The main problem with the relational aspects is that it is entirely unquantifiable, not entirely unlike socionics as a whole but at least with just the information elements there are noticeable patterns that are less muddied by other factors.

    What are the factors that you consider when determining or thinking that someone is your dual?

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    Quote Originally Posted by jason_m View Post
    I want to explain a little more about Se: it can be used in a heroic way: there are movie heroes, police officers, and military personnel who use it in a good way. Those people I completely respect. The problem is when it is used in such a way that is sick. To abuse or belittle others, to torture others in some way with it, to bring it to someone's life in a way that is sick or twisted just enrages me. And then that creates a problem: should I use it? If I were to use it, I would come down so hard on the people who are using it, I would just shatter them, but then I would feel ashamed. And then using it makes me feel like I'm like them in some way - even using it in any way makes me feel ashamed. A big part of it is because I cannot find the right dose - I either cannot hit back hard enough or I come down so hard that I just destroy someone, and I therefore hate using it, so I do not use it.

    It's not the only function that makes me angry: there is also crackpot religion and crackpot spirituality that I see sometimes being used in a sick way: reincarnation or karma in someone's life who is supposed to be Christian, near death experiences where people come back saying that ****** taught the Jews a 'lesson', karmic practices where spirits 'vote' or 'bet' on someone's fate, 'psychics' with phony smiles and phony demeanors who really have nothing nice to say. The notion that 'all evil is forgiven,' no matter how rank the issue is, including matters such as the Holocaust and Apartheid. People with mental issues not getting the right spiritual treatment, because they're 'clinging to the ghosts.' Satanists and Luciferians whose religious practices involve abusing others. (Those people are not 'Se', but I absolutely cannot stand them.) Fast food spirituality, such as Sylvia Browne or James Van Praagh. Someone mentally ill experiencing 'hallucinations from ghosts' that are supposed to have 'spiritual meaning' or 'significance.' Stupid, pedantic ideologies such as 'it's a cardinal sin to go to church only during the week, but not on Sundays' (That one was Se.) Most of these things don't enrage me, but the logic behind them is so bad that I just want to vomit...
    I wanted to go back to this since I used to relate to this so much when I was younger. This might have as well been me writing it.

    I remember if I had to fight, especially with someone I like, like family members, I would just cry uncontrollably. Even if it was over something silly. I didn't want to fight. But I'm also very territorial about my stuff and my independence. I cannot bring myself to give up that part of me no matter how much I tried. It's essential to my well being. I would have to kill myself to deny that part of me.

    But I hated that I had to fight to assert my rights. That people wanted to mess with me. It's like you said. I didn't enjoy it, so I looked for ways to end it fast. I remember getting into martial arts for a while, but that didn't change how I felt about confrontations, so I dropped it.

    Eventually I realized I'm not that person. I can't force people to do things for me. I don't want that. But I also realized that what I feared most about confrontations is alienating the people I like, that no one would want to be around the angry/hysterical me. But some people won't respect that you are an independent person and will try to control you every chance they get. It's how they lived their whole lives. They are not used to resistance. These are the people you need to cut from your life. Especially if you feel powerless when they are around. Unfortunately these are usually your family members. I can take so much shit from strangers and give it back, but it's harder with family. I get emotional. I love them.

    I had to tell my father that I don't want him in my life anymore when he threatened to disown me. It wasn't easy. I still love him. But I haven't spoken to him for 7 years. He came by a few times and was laughing uncontrollably saying "I'm your father. You can't stay mad at me forever." I'm not, but I can't tell him that. I knew this man for 20+ years and he has no intention to change. I don't want to be in that kind of toxic relationship. He did give up eventually and moved on.

    This experience changed me a lot. I used to forgive a lot of people for the way they treated me because I didn't want to ruin my relationships with them. I would go out with them because we have been friends for years. Even though I didn't feel great when we went out. They made me feel like shit. I stopped doing all of that. If I get disrespected by anyone and I see a pattern, they are done. People who don't appreciate you do not deserve your time. I may sit around and laugh with them when we are at work, but we would never meet outside of work even if they were my superiors. Our relationship will stay formal. I don't invest in anyone who can't accept me for who I am. I'm not saying this the ideal way to handle things, but that is what I did.

    I still see some of these people. I even see my father in the few family gatherings I attend. But they know our relationships can't be restored just like that. The few people who really wanted to be in my life are still welcome, they earned it. But the aunt who still looks at me like I'm some lunatic in need of being locked up because I chose to leave the religion doesn't get more than a "Hi". She still asks about my life but I just walk away. I have no respect for these people. Keep it formal or I will ghost your ass.

    I find myself less concerned with the things that would usually stress me when I limited my availability to the few people I can tolerate. I have a friend that I would drive hours if he asked me to, but some family members will not even get a call from me, not in a million years. I had a period where I was severely depressed but even in that period I refused their help. I didn't want to own anyone anything. I pulled myself up alone because I didn't want them to come uninvited back to my life once I sorted my shit, which I did.

    Protect yourself at all costs. Being in a healthy mentality and free of self doubt is far superior to me than anything anyone would offer.

    just my 2 cents

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    This is why you’re an IEE dude. Obviously Se and Ni devaluing.
    If I am, then my Ne then clashes with Te. I always dream of having a really innovative career - doing something really cutting edge, at the forefront of new knowledge. As I said, architect, scientist, innovator, etc. Nothing is worse than dry, routinized office work. Hours of filing, filling out papers - accounting, banking, finance - just crushes my dreams. SLI work isn't any better - working in a plant, factory, or farm - it could not get worse than that. Even discussion about menial work brings a glazed over look to my eyes...

  23. #23
    jason_m's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    This is why you’re an IEE dude. Obviously Se and Ni devaluing.
    I supervise that 'Ni' - and 'Fi' as well: 'psychology': Dr. Amen: treatments that cost thousands of dollars that I suspect don't work. Psychologists that give lectures that sound like a motivational speaking seminar. A large number of odd studies (like the Stanford Prison Study) that cannot be replicated at all, and I therefore wonder if they're simply made up. Social psychology textbooks that are filled with left-wing politics. 'Therapy' that is nothing but self-help. 'Warm', 'caring' psychologists that are nothing but just fake laughs and fake smiles that could care less about your problems... It's almost the same state of affairs as the fake spirituality to me... For some reason, this is what most people who are 'Fi' to are like to me, especially 'IEEs'...

  24. #24
    mindless Aeris's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by COOL AND MANLY View Post
    Protect yourself at all costs. Being in a healthy mentality and free of self doubt is far superior to me than anything anyone would offer.
    Thank you for this specific part.

  25. #25
    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chakram View Post
    The main problem with the relational aspects is that it is entirely unquantifiable, not entirely unlike socionics as a whole but at least with just the information elements there are noticeable patterns that are less muddied by other factors.
    I notice the different qualities in chemistry, common feelings, moods or reactions that go with certain relationships. But these also have to be contrasted to other factors that create chemistry such as subtypes. But that's a different level of chemistry.

    What are the factors that you consider when determining or thinking that someone is your dual?
    Same as with any type. It is just a myriad of things, nothing special. My own inner reactions and the kind of elements the person seem to be using consciously. There are so many ways that our minds react to the types and how we recoqnise them. The types are a natural phenomenon and I think I've learned to see them automatically, just as we all can tell what sex someone is without much intellectual work.

    Then with duality there is the possibility of developing quite fast a really pleasant connection, where things seem to happen by itself and you enjoy the company in a way that's hard to put into words. But mostly I don't use this for typing, although it has happened with some duals I have spent more time with.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

  26. #26
    Seed my wickedness The Reality Denialist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    The most active socionist at this point, Gulenko, doesn’t even think he’s married to his dual. He’s also way too accessible and turdlordy. The rest of us don’t stand a chance.
    He wanted to marry family doctor but ended up with nietzsche.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
    idiosyncratic type
    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

    Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org

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