@crazymaisy Haha a little blunt - but honestly, yeah I am irrational. I do build my own logical systems, but they’re flawed and somewhat rigid- they’re also not my whole world, I am not consumed by them and can exist outside of them. I also rely on some external input to build them up (Fe). I think my Ti shows up in my life in a way that is strong for sure, but not necessarily good. As in it’s still immature or childish in some sense.
By struggles with Fe I just mean being awkward and quiet, Im not the kind of person who can strike up a conversation with anyone. I use Fe as a tool, it feels like it can be turned off and on. It manifests as a desire to be liked and can turn into people pleasing, but only with strangers and acquaintances. I think this may also have something to do with not fitting in throughout life which has manifested in a sort of fear of being outcasted - I don’t think I’d have these behaviours if it were not for past experiences which are generally not linked to socionics. Im working on all of these behaviours to have healthier Fe in the future though.
When I’m with people I trust, who I know will love me regardless of whether I prove myself to them socially - or prove I have something to offer, my Fe kinda goes out the window and Im able to be more authentic. If I had to pick though, I definitely value relationships and desire social “power” over pure logic overall.