IEI long-term romantic relationship partners

[salehieh]

Hi!

I'm wondering what you think the best types are for IEI's (specifically male IEI's) to get into a long-term relationship with. To summarize my own takes and what I've read here on this topic:

IEI & EII:

Pros:

* Big 5: this is seemingly one of the few relations wherein it's possible to match big 5 traits, which, according to Jordan Peterson (who references contemporary science), is one of the top factors in predicting long-term relationship success. (EII's are usually high in openness; conscientiousness seems to vary; extraversion varies--but EII's are usually homebodies (ime), as are many IEI's; EII's are seemingly often highly agreeable, but IEI's may vary (I'm not that agreeable); neuroticism varies, I guess. (I'm low) (If both have high => relationship bad). If one has low, they help the one with high to chill...) So it is possible to match them all, which I'd currently deem is about as important to a relationship as the whole of Socionics. (Perhaps compatability comes from roughly, and ofc varyingly, 30% socionics, 30% big 5, 10% "pure biology" and 30% nurture and interests. I don't know, what do you think?)
* Mutual respect, they admire my Ni, I admire their Fi. Sort of. I don't prioritise Fi over Fe in interactions, but I nonetheless like Fi and respect moral steadfastness and integrity.
* Very rarely any "real" fights.

Cons:

* Different perception =>

* Misunderstandings in communication, not as smooth as intra-quadra. Ime, we often intend different meanings in our wordings.
* Fighting over nothing
* Perhaps not the same sense of humor (??? I don't know how true this is. I find EII's laugh at Te stuff, which I don't find funny at all; and ofc vice versa with my Se. Also: EII's Fe-humor'n't... But, it's not like I never laugh with EII's. It's just... different. More serious? Forced? I don't know. I, for sure, laugh at different things for different reasons, as compared to when with, e.g., an SLE).

* Get along with their friends & family???

* LSE conflictors likely
* IEI supervisee ESE is their mirage, so likely friend
* and of course vice versa with my friends & family

Ah fuck it's getting late... It's been a blast to write, I'll finish this up quickly:

IEI & IEE:

Pros:

* ??? I'm stunned at the fact that I can't seem to come up with any pros off the top of my head. I guess and hope it's due to the fact that I'm tired...

* EDIT 221014 01:18: I have two IEE friends and they've shaped me into a better person, for sure. They can actually be very funny. Kind of the same sense of humor? But still not quite dual-like, nonetheless particularly good.

Cons:

* Muh extinguishment... The people on here seem vehemently opposed to this relationship... Which is in line with my experience. The two I've experienced went pretty much along the lines of extinguishment. Can it work though? I mean WORK-work. Without unnecessary suffering.

IEI & SLE:

Pros:

* Duality. Doesn't get better than this, in theory.

Cons:

* Low openness? But not really, now that I come to think of it. I have a friend who's SLE but has like 90 openness. However, he doesn't seem too interested in ideation, which I am not really, either, now that I come to think of it. Purposeful ideation I love, I mean look at what I'm writing! But, ideation for the sake of... ideation? I find that shit fucking dull and pointless. I guess it's my nonvalued Ne. Tangents... (double entendre, now that I regrettably, with regard to time, re-read) OK max 5 minutes:

* For IEI men and SLE women, gender stereotypes fuck shit up. Sort of. SLE women are "manly", IEI men are "nerds". Stereotypically. Now, I'd say I'm atypically chad for an IEI (rock hard surface, but pretty damn prideful (working on it) and sensitive. But nobody fucks with me. Pretty much ever. So I get very sensitive to the littlest of "slights". Tangents...) Nonetheless, I feel sort of emasculated by SLE's. Maybe it's just some fucked up thing in my head. To an onlooker, I'm "chad", but psychologically, they often really want to have the upper hand. Which is opposed to gender stereotypes, and a dynamic which feels strange. Not used to it, but one might grow into it?

Ok. I definitely could go on and on... I hope I'll soon find time and motivation to add to this. Excues any misspellings. Any kind of input would be highly appreciated!

Good night ^^

[AWellArmedCat]

For IEI men and SLE women, gender stereotypes fuck shit up. Sort of. SLE women are "manly", IEI men are "nerds". Stereotypically. Now, I'd say I'm atypically chad for an IEI (rock hard surface, but pretty damn prideful (working on it) and sensitive. But nobody fucks with me. Pretty much ever. So I get very sensitive to the littlest of "slights". Tangents...) Nonetheless, I feel sort of emasculated by SLE's. Maybe it's just some fucked up thing in my head. To an onlooker, I'm "chad", but psychologically, they often really want to have the upper hand. Which is opposed to gender stereotypes, and a dynamic which feels strange. Not used to it, but one might grow into it?

Actually I can assure you there's plenty of "girly" SLE women out there. A lot of them tend to be Christian horse-girls in my experience, but certainly not all of them. For sure, some SLE women are stereotypically "manly," but that's by no means the only way they present. Just like IEI men, lot of them are relatively "normal" from the perspective of western gender norms, but are simply very initiative-taking and straightforward in their relationships. I have dated an SLE girl in the past, and though things didn't work out, it was the easiest breakup in the world. She very plainly explained her reasons only once, and stopped engaging with me in the same way as before. I wasn't happy about it of course, but I actually got over it pretty quickly because she was so frank and unwavering with me. I wouldn't have called her manly at all. She was driven, fearless, and very outdoorsy, but not "manly" as I would define it.

[Clarke]

Basically, I'd go for a partner that has the following qualities:
-Some kind of compatible relationship in Socionics, preferably dual.
-Compatible Enneagram. I saw a resource once, which might be highly unreliable, that said that certain types got together more often than other types. For example, 8 males got together with 6 females far more often than 8 males with 5 females. There are other resources that say that people like partners along their lines of integration/disintegration, but that contradicts the first source.
-Compatible Instinctual Stack. Basically just go for one that has your main instinct as their first or second instinct. Probably don't go for someone that has your last instinct as their first instinct.
-Compatible SLOAN. I saw a source that basically said that getting someone with similar traits as yours is good for basically everything but C/L. L's like people that are a little more C and a little less C than they are. I'm not sure whether that resource was reliable.
-Compatible 4 Temperaments/Temperament Blends. I'm not sure about this one. I think that opposites might not be compatible. I've also read that Sanguines also don't get along with Cholerics (they annoy the Cholerics), so there's some non-opposite combinations that don't get along well. I think that resources kind of disagree on this.
-Compatible Attitudinal Psyche. This might be the most important one. Your conflictor will probably drive you nuts or just generally seem incompetent, based on personal experience. What you like/want also depends on the reactivity/dormancy of your third (insecure) aspect.

Basically try to summarize these among potential partners, and go for one that fits these the best. Or, if no one fits these, maybe just wait a while until you find someone that does. I think that generally, you should kind of instinctually know what you want in a partner, but then again I'm probably Sx first so that might not apply to everyone.

[The Banana King]

Basically, I'd go for a partner that has the following qualities:
-Some kind of compatible relationship in Socionics, preferably dual.
-Compatible Enneagram. I saw a resource once, which might be highly unreliable, that said that certain types got together more often than other types. For example, 8 males got together with 6 females far more often than 8 males with 5 females. There are other resources that say that people like partners along their lines of integration/disintegration, but that contradicts the first source.
-Compatible Instinctual Stack. Basically just go for one that has your main instinct as their first or second instinct. Probably don't go for someone that has your last instinct as their first instinct.
-Compatible SLOAN. I saw a source that basically said that getting someone with similar traits as yours is good for basically everything but C/L. L's like people that are a little more C and a little less C than they are. I'm not sure whether that resource was reliable.
-Compatible 4 Temperaments/Temperament Blends. I'm not sure about this one. I think that opposites might not be compatible. I've also read that Sanguines also don't get along with Cholerics (they annoy the Cholerics), so there's some non-opposite combinations that don't get along well. I think that resources kind of disagree on this.
-Compatible Attitudinal Psyche. This might be the most important one. Your conflictor will probably drive you nuts or just generally seem incompetent, based on personal experience. What you like/want also depends on the reactivity/dormancy of your third (insecure) aspect.

Basically try to summarize these among potential partners, and go for one that fits these the best. Or, if no one fits these, maybe just wait a while until you find someone that does. I think that generally, you should kind of instinctually know what you want in a partner, but then again I'm probably Sx first so that might not apply to everyone.

You forgot compatible outlook/goals in life Duality means nothing if both parties have completely different ideas for the future in mind.

In practice I think it's just impossible to find someone that matches all of these IRL. However there is a natural tendency for duals/same quadra people to gravitate to each other, making the process not entirely random. But matching instinct, matching AP, etc. etc. is just impossible. You need to also think about physical attractiveness, what if they're a perfect match but you find them physically repulsive? Would you still be able to love them?

I would say a good socionics match is 50% of a good relationship, then similar attitudes to life or lifestyles are 25% and anything else is just icing on the cake (or small disagreements every now and then). On the other hand, a bad socionics match will always feel like a thorn in your foot, no matter how good you match otherwise.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I don't know. Pure sexual attraction wise, I've preferred SLE but in reality the idea of dating one doesn't work out. They are too disrespectful and they 'make my dreams come true' somewhat, but they often sometimes don't seem to know that a lot of fantasies are better left as fantasies lol. I think in theory, this is how duality is supposed to work - with 4D Ni the IEI teaches the SLE the power of how imagination itself can be great without pissing off people's boundaries in a sensor-y way, and the SLE actually sitting on the IEI's face when they want it and not being all moral and uppity about it like some social worker. ((or whatever, I'm only crude to make a point))

"I can make him to be a nicer person!" I loathe that 50 shades of gray cliche.

I don't feel like ethically baby sitting ppl all day on this, and likewise they get annoyed/fed up at trying to coddle me with Te stuff.

SEE is kinda the opposite. Me and SEE feel kinda comfortable with one another most of the time and semi-dual has a lot of natural affection which is nice, however when they make a move with me I feel weird like it's hurting the friendship too much lol. And in a way it's the opposite of a SLE's assholeness- they feel for me 'too much' and that gets in the way as well.

Anything in Delta, I don't like. Deltas think I'm more evil and serial killer ish than I really am, or they get annoyed at me that I'm not a serial killer or a real sexual offender and they can't use that against me or feel self righteous about it, so I'm their enemy. I get along with some of the IEEs though I guess, but they expect me to be too much of a SLI and I'm really awful at being a faux-SLI. I'm good at writing stories and making video games and making art and typical IEI Ni+Fe crap- I'm bad at painting their fence, sure I could learn- but it's not my natural talent.

The person I'm seeing now kinda is LSI- and it is working out pretty good with natural affection. Their Ne PoLR is awfully annoying sometimes though- but activity does something better for my natural health. When I get energy from a person, it scares me often and I just run away - but activity has a way of making me feel active, without triggering my paranoia or fears or delusions or common 'victim like behaviors' that tend to piss other people off- and so in a way it's refreshing. He's a common sensor jock lol and it works out compatible-wise in that sense.

Maybe I really am an evil EIE. /shrug

[Clarke]

You forgot compatible outlook/goals in life Duality means nothing if both parties have completely different ideas for the future in mind.

In practice I think it's just impossible to find someone that matches all of these IRL. However there is a natural tendency for duals/same quadra people to gravitate to each other, making the process not entirely random. But matching instinct, matching AP, etc. etc. is just impossible. You need to also think about physical attractiveness, what if they're a perfect match but you find them physically repulsive? Would you still be able to love them?

I would say a good socionics match is 50% of a good relationship, then similar attitudes to life or lifestyles are 25% and anything else is just icing on the cake (or small disagreements every now and then). On the other hand, a bad socionics match will always feel like a thorn in your foot, no matter how good you match otherwise.

I think Socionics might affect physical attractiveness, at least facially. That's how people seem to be able to VI.

I guess I kind of meant that you would want to balance the characteristics I listed. Maybe go for 50% compatibility in all fields, and adjust that percentage based on how large your dating pool is.

I don't really have any good insight into long term romantic compatibility. I know that platonically, I've had good relationships with Beta ST's, at least LSI's. In terms of understanding and interest, I've understood and have been interested in fictional characters that appeared to have Se or generally seemed powerful and capable, mainly low emotion Beta ST's and what I think are Gammas. These have all had what seemed to be compatible Socionics types (decent relations with my type), and compatible Instinctual Stackings. In some cases they also had very compatible Attitudinal Psyche types (these are the ones that I think I've been the most attracted to).

I know a non fictional person who has what seems like a compatible Enneagram type, a compatible Instinctual Stack type, a decently compatible SLOAN, and a pretty compatible Attitudinal Psyche. Our Sociotypes would get along fairly well theoretically. I guess they seem like an impressive, highly attractive person.

I guess that this means that the other systems probably affect attractiveness. If they don't affect physical attractiveness, maybe the person would be interesting enough in other ways to override that somehow.

Edit: I'm 3E in Attitudinal Psyche.

[Clarke]

and the SLE actually sitting on the IEI's face when they want it and not being all moral and uppity about it like some social worker. ((or whatever, I'm only crude to make a point))

I'm intrigued about this. How can you get moral and uppity about sitting on someone's face?

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

I'm intrigued about this. How can you get moral and uppity about sitting on someone's face?

I was kinda poking fun at ultra Te Ted Talk professionals who make everything about Super Ego and contributions to society, science and data facts over ID impulses.

[YnysAfallach]

As much as I am tempted to find comfort in the thought that intertype relations aren't really strict rules that allow us to make definitive qualitative comparisons between relationships (to any degree), I lack all ability to do so. Unfortunately, that's exactly what they are.

I feel obligated to communicate this simply because if I didn't, I would feel like I was genuinely making the wrong decision: If Socionics ever could make claims about intertype relations at all, then they must be making claims that are capable of producing these qualitative comparisons. It is not possible to have it both ways.

The only answer to this question that I can communicate - because it's the only answer to this question that exists - is that the "best type(s)... for IEI's ... to get into a long-term relationship with" is their dual, the SLE.

I cannot react any other way to the brute reality of a truth with this much significance for how we should approach (romantic) relationship building than to share it (awkwardly, if necessary - I'm sorry haha) so that I can know I doing as much as I can.

Just so that I don't leave this understated; whether you are an IEI, SLE, or any other type, if you are looking for some direction in the often overwhelming task of finding the right person to spend your life with, understanding this or even just learning how to identify your dual is perhaps the most impactful thing you can do to increase the odds that you find someone who ends up being your soulmate (i.e. predict ceiling for longterm compatibility). To be clear, it's not a catch all solution and the standard rules, limits, and strategies of dating still apply - they are still your necessary tools, and you must engage with them to pursue your goal all the same. But your efficiency with the tools is significantly improved if you learn when and when not to apply them.

[Manatroid92]

As much as I am tempted to find comfort in the thought that intertype relations aren't really strict rules that allow us to make definitive qualitative comparisons between relationships (to any degree), I lack all ability to do so. Unfortunately, that's exactly what they are.

I feel obligated to communicate this simply because if I didn't, I would feel like I was genuinely making the wrong decision: If Socionics ever could make claims about intertype relations at all, then they must be making claims that are capable of producing these qualitative comparisons. It is not possible to have it both ways.

The only answer to this question that I can communicate - because it's the only answer to this question that exists - is that the "best type(s)... for IEI's ... to get into a long-term relationship with" is their dual, the SLE.

I cannot react any other way to the brute reality of a truth with this much significance for how we should approach (romantic) relationship building than to share it (awkwardly, if necessary - I'm sorry haha) so that I can know I doing as much as I can.

Just so that I don't leave this understated; whether you are an IEI, SLE, or any other type, if you are looking for some direction in the often overwhelming task of finding the right person to spend your life with, understanding this or even just learning how to identify your dual is perhaps the most impactful thing you can do to increase the odds that you find someone who ends up being your soulmate (i.e. predict ceiling for longterm compatibility). To be clear, it's not a catch all solution and the standard rules, limits, and strategies of dating still apply - they are still your necessary tools, and you must engage with them to pursue your goal all the same. But your efficiency with the tools is significantly improved if you learn when and when not to apply them.

Yeah, I agree. Asking a question of which relations are 'best' for a given sociotype on a Socionics forum should give you an obvious answer: it's always the Dual. Disagreeing with the answer means that you don't view Socionics as a typology based on providing the answer for which people are optimal partners for you, it instead becomes another way of describing people (which to me, while maybe still valid, is far less interesting and useful).

Now that being said, it comes with a caveat: Despite duals being 'the best' intertype relation, if you are not in a position to properly utilize or learn from Duality (and/or your Dual isn't, or won't be, either), then it stands to reason that other kinds of relations are much more suited to you. It's always better to have a kind of relationship that is 'less optimal' if you are otherwise satisfied/content with it, than it is to forever force Duality upon yourself and others like a wrecking ball.
This isn't just my own speculation on the matter either. Quadras exist within the socion for a reason: to help people work out what other types can work for them, too. Moreover, if Duality really was the only kind of ITR that could make a partnership happy, no-one would bother with trying to figure out the rest of the type relations, and every facet of Socionics would be focused solely on getting people to find their appropriate Duals instead.

All that having been said, outside Duality, I think things probably become a bit more subjective. Someone people seem to enjoy Activity relations more than others, for example. Some people find Semi-Duality easier to 'get into' than Duality itself. It sems to me, quite often, that it depends on the kind of environment someone grew up in, and what kind of people/types treated them best and/or worse.

[Bethanyclaire]

As a woman...I'd go with dual or semi-dual.

Super-ego- difficult because SLI and IEI can be awkward weirdo types
Illusionary- good but might be hard to start up
Look-a-like, fine but might feel like something is missing. I know an IEI male with an SEI female- they both have great jobs and seem happy. I personally have a soft spot for this ITR. It irks me that it's described as having something missing because in some ways it feels like perfection? Maybe I’m vanilla lol. (I guess that’s the point-perfection isn’t possible, if we had perfection we’d get bored). 'Nothing to fight for' they say, but maybe that is true love? True love to a true romantic? I'm sure there are some wonderful moments in this matching.. I think short term, not suitable forever look-a-likes could be great..long term matches can be fine but it's a weird one..teases you with perfection but doesn't give it to you? Lol. I reckon it's quite good..
Kindred- feel like we'd end up resenting each other over something. But could be good if you're both quite happy and healthy. I’m not she which I’d choose between kindred and look-a-like. Probs look-a-like as I don’t mind having something missing, if I get to have an SEI lol
Contrary- fine for short term
Identical- fine
Activity- I feel like some LSIs would end up being scary. There is the sweetest softest LSI guy at my work- so not necessarily but I think I'd resent them getting frustrated at me.
Conflict type- fine for short term.
Benefit with ESI- ok short term, sexy
Benefit with LII- this could have been fun short term
Supervision with LIE- sexy but risky and bad long term.
Supervision with ESE- find me a male ESE to crush on! not good long term, similar to above but I don't know about sexy. ESE art is my fave so I'm sure I could get swept off my feet by an ESE artist..
Quasi identical- darlings who I can have faux crushes on
Mirror- hot but I don't think this pairing works out in the end

[YnysAfallach]

Now that being said, it comes with a caveat: Despite duals being 'the best' intertype relation, if you are not in a position to properly utilize or learn from Duality (and/or your Dual isn't, or won't be, either), then it stands to reason that other kinds of relations are much more suited to you. It's always better to have a kind of relationship that is 'less optimal' if you are otherwise satisfied/content with it, than it is to forever force Duality upon yourself and others like a wrecking ball.
This isn't just my own speculation on the matter either. Quadras exist within the socion for a reason: to help people work out what other types can work for them, too. Moreover, if Duality really was the only kind of ITR that could make a partnership happy, no-one would bother with trying to figure out the rest of the type relations, and every facet of Socionics would be focused solely on getting people to find their appropriate Duals instead.

All that having been said, outside Duality, I think things probably become a bit more subjective. Someone people seem to enjoy Activity relations more than others, for example. Some people find Semi-Duality easier to 'get into' than Duality itself. It sems to me, quite often, that it depends on the kind of environment someone grew up in, and what kind of people/types treated them best and/or worse.

Yes I think I agree with most of this, if I'm understanding it correctly. It would just be false to say that "duality [is] the only kind of ITR that could make a partnership happy." People find love and fulfillment in every ITR, it's just that duality is the ITR that gives you the best shot at it.

In other words, every other ITR besides duality will make it harder for you to achieve happiness in the relation, all other things held equal. Now to be clear, this is a very different statement that saying the fact that somebody is your dual makes them a better vehicle for happiness in your relationship than some other person who isn't your dual. The dual you're looking at could be a shitty person and the semi-dual/activity could be a wonderful person. But if you hold all the shittiness/wonderfulness constant, you find that the dual always wins.

This is very important during the early stages of dating to realize. You should be actively filtering people out who aren't your duals when the cost is low and it is easy.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Rational duals seem much better and easier to start than Irrational duals - regardless of the quadra. Irrationals expect too much, or don't expect enough - make everything about them too much, instead of just getting over themselves fucking already and going on a date at the restaurant like a normie and letting things outside of yourselves evolve the relationship, so others can help you too- and not have it be so emotionally chaotic and narcissistic.

Irrationals FUCKING SUCK - in that sense. It's like there's not a magical formula, u just need to get brain surgery and change into a rational type.

Lol. c'mon u know I'm right.

Am I? u can tell me. but plz be gentle, I'm fragile

[YnysAfallach]

Rational duals seem much better and easier to start than Irrational duals - regardless of the quadra. Irrationals expect too much, or don't expect enough - make everything about them too much, instead of just getting over themselves fucking already and going on a date at the restaurant like a normie and letting things outside of yourselves evolve the relationship, so others can help you too- and not have it be so emotionally chaotic and narcissistic.

Irrationals FUCKING SUCK - in that sense. It's like there's not a magical formula, u just need to get brain surgery and change into a rational type.

Lol. c'mon u know I'm right.

Am I? u can tell me. but plz be gentle, I'm fragile

In her page on wikisocion about SLE-IEI duality, Stratiyevskaya mentions "As in any irrational dyad, partners here at first coordinate their sensations and perceptions"

If duality begins by the coordination of the base/suggestive functions, I can see this being a process that is much more wild than coordinating rational functions. It's more entropic; more fluid and messy and coordination can happen either very quickly or just by chance end up mismatching and being mistaken for deeper incompatibility.

By definition, rational functions are about figuring out which constraints properly bound and limit ways of interacting with other people. On the other hand, irrational functions are about discovering negative constraints (roll with my impromptu term) in the sense that the irrational functions attempt to find the principles that remove constraints towards more accurately capturing and representing reality in a way that allows the most freedom (least friction) in belief and action.

[Bethanyclaire]

I keep thinking about how ESE/SEI couples are common and some seem really happy (or happy at least). I can only really picture IEI with SLE or ILE, as in I think these matches would be common. Maybe Alphas can handle the drama of a mirror relationship better. I’m a bit jealous lol. It’s probably not as good as it looks though and to be fair I think it’s their success and status I’m more jealous of, than the ITR. I feel like ESE/SEI are the equivalent to dual celebrity couples. Successful individuals but still not actual celebrities, and I think the mirror dynamic adds a bit of celebrity style drama to the relationship. Or maybe the drama of the relationship is what gave them drive to succeed. Watching closely to see which ones divorce. But they’re successful so no matter lol

[Beautiful sky]

I keep thinking about how ESE/SEI couples are common and some seem really happy (or happy at least). I can only really picture IEI with SLE or ILE, as in I think these matches would be common. Maybe Alphas can handle the drama of a mirror relationship better. I’m a bit jealous lol. It’s probably not as good as it looks though and to be fair I think it’s their success and status I’m more jealous of, than the ITR. I feel like ESE/SEI are the equivalent to dual celebrity couples. Successful individuals but still not actual celebrities, and I think the mirror dynamic adds a bit of celebrity style drama to the relationship. Or maybe the drama of the relationship is what gave them drive to succeed. Watching closely to see which ones divorce. But they’re successful so no matter lol

I’ve also observed the relationship between ESI and SEE as being successful long term too to add to your list. I’ve seen LSE and SLI but these two are not very warm and affectionate but also not life long lasting; I’ve seen EII and other LSE lifelong lasting. LSE and SEE among the super wealthy who can maintain their own quarters for self independence and even LSE and IEE. As long as the IEE does cheat to leave.

[Bethanyclaire]

@Beautiful sky hm yeah my sister (SEE) only had ESI boyfriends before meeting her dual. Maybe it’s something about SEI/ESI..I think there is something special about those types.

Also it’s interesting to think about which pairs seem to be drawn together..what makes those pairings more romantic(?). Some sort of pull. SLI/ESE also seem common but they don’t seem so outwardly romantic as a couple

[persimmonism]

Friendships or otherwise, my absolute best relationships have always been with ILEs or SLEs, nothing else can really come close

[Sol]

It's common to think duality, activation and semiduality as good for a marriage and alike. Other types should be worse principally, but in different degree.
The initial Socionics idea is that nothing is good except duality. May to be. But as Jung type is only one of significant factors - the practical influence on relations with those good IR should not be so evident.

> Perhaps compatability comes from roughly, and ofc varyingly, 30% socionics, 30% big 5, 10% "pure biology" and 30% nurture and interests. I don't know, what do you think?

Without expriments for friendship and marriage pairs the degree of Jung types influence is not known, and in which conditions it exists as high. What is known points that types influence is and should be significant, the experience of what supports the interest to Jung types in some people for years.

What good IR should do is to help with establishing love state, friendship relations. When two people join minds and lifes in high compassion, become as two parts of one (alike two hands of one human), perceive interests of each other same important as own, share by conscious contexts, do much together. Good for other human the compassion and mutual dependency makes good for you too, same for problems of other one. The more a human has similar values/sympathies and more he (and mutually) may support you where you are weaker or where a help is useful - the better you and he may feel in friendship relations.
Not only Jung type influences on the possibility for good friendship, but different traits and external situation. Anything what relates to the abbility to care about your (and of other in the pair) interests, to cooperate with you in deals for both. Including lesser egocentric attitude. What practically people do for mutual care and to make both feel happier. What are external conditions to be good friends: for example it's important to be near, - to exchange by an information, to care about each other, to do deals together.
Also as we talk about the pair, so sexual attraction is important for your emotional state there. Sexual attraction additionally motivates to care about other one, to make friendship better. Sex helps to exchange by info with unconscious processes, besides being a pleasant activity. Sex can be thought as physical process representing joining of minds. To feel good kids are important too, as it's instinctual wish following from sexual attraction. Kids also add possibilities for a cooperation, what helps to perceive each other as friends and hence to feel better. Symbolicly and genetically kids express joining of two people, - physical representation of love in which two people join minds with each other and on other levels.
A common family pair gives maximum conditions for good friendship and love state. Just useful to choose the ones more fiting you and to care better about each other.