Supervision Relations: Stories and Experiences

[Pierreuse]

Maybe all ISFps do this to people but the unpleasantness I feel from supervision is that they don't take me seriously. ISFps love me but see me as this sweet girl who can't look after her own needs and needs to be clothed and spoon-fed. It can actually be fun until they talk to me like I'm a real idiot because I refuse to button my coat up all the way when it's cold. With ESEs it's like they're itching to reach over and button it for me but will at least respect my decision and just keep saying, "Ooookay, buuuut..." Still they won't go through the trouble of dressing me themselves.

In the end the ISFp usually tells me what a good person I am and goes off to do something else, and I have to admit that I'm usually glad when they do. I feel myself holding back a lot of details about how I'm doing from them because I know they think I'm a bit "special" and might try to help me some more. Is this a supervision thing or just an Si-dom thing?

[consentingadult]

Maybe all ISFps do this to people but the unpleasantness I feel from supervision is that they don't take me seriously.

http://mavericksocionics.blogspot.nl...vs-iee-vs.html

[Azure Flame]

http://mavericksocionics.blogspot.nl...vs-iee-vs.html

So you're an SLE? No wait you're an IEE nvm.

[mikemex]

I get along with mi LII-Ne dad quite nicely. He doesn't value much what I have to say but I've got used to it.

I don't blame him, IEE gibberish can reach ridiculous levels sometimes. I can get lost when listening to myself, no wonder he does.

[willekeurig]

Aqua loves me

[Raver]

I generally get along with LIIs, but I always have that lingering feeling that they don't take what I say seriously. As for ESIs we get along well and I notice their faults, but I only point them out to help them if they ask for advice.

[Radio]

this one Se-ESFp E7 dude i know is really nice and tends to be very warm whenever i approach him (even if he's in a sour mood; the same cannot be said for myself). but he has this annoying habit of yanking me by the arm to motivate me to do something he thinks would be good for me, like he'd pull me along regardless of how much i protest. he also tends not to "get the hint" when he overdoes it, although i know he's only just being friendly so i can't really blame him. he's very physical, and plays around by shoving and mock-wrestling w/ people, which is cool but i don't partake in it because it's uncomfortable for me. for some reason, he respects this distance but doesn't really follow it with more ~formality~, which is a relief because it annoys me when people assume i'd be offended by everything they do/say and stop being candid around me.

anyway, this one ESFp is cool people. i don't know too many others as closely, so can't say.

[ClownsandEntropy]

I may sometimes talk to IEEs as though I need to explain everything to them or constantly remind them to make sure they finish task (okay, not all the time, but when I decide to help). But then again, I kind of have a tendency to do that all the time to everyone. I'm just so smugly superior.

[Pierreuse]

This is sort of making me wonder if I do anything bothersome to ILIs. I guess I do tend to playfully speak for them in awkward situations, saying things like, "(ILI) totally wants to punch me right now." which they could see as putting words in their mouth...

[consentingadult]

This is sort of making me wonder if I do anything bothersome to ILIs. I guess I do tend to playfully speak for them in awkward situations, saying things like, "(ILI) totally wants to punch me right now." which they could see as putting words in their mouth...

Perhaps an ILI wants to punch you, but it is never gonna happen ;-)

[Aquagraph]

Aqua loves me

I don't find our relationship entirely unpleasant, just demeaning.

[Scapegrace]

Perhaps an ILI wants to punch you, but it is never gonna happen ;-)

ILIs have weak skinny arms from being dorky. They can't punch anyone.

[Pierreuse]

Perhaps an ILI wants to punch you, but it is never gonna happen ;-)

This oddly sounds like a threat. Lol.

Well the one I'm thinking of will usually respond to me saying shit like this with something like, "Why are you saying that? I never said that." They probably think I'm pushing them to express themselves when they don't want to or don't think it's necessary. Just like those damn SEIs trying to get me to wear a scarf.

My boyfriend's mom is SEI and while I was staying with them recently she kept forcing me to put on mittens, a hat and scarf when we went out (to be fair it was cold, but not THAT cold) and I would stash most of it in my bag until I actually needed it. At one point my boyfriend (IEI) pulled me aside and was like...

him: "She saw you're not wearing the mittens. You might want to put them on."
me: "I don't need them though."
him: "But she says it's cold outside."
me: "I'm already wearing four layers plus a coat, scarf and hat. It's fucking overkill."
him: "Of course it is. How do you think I feel everyday?"

In the end I didn't put them on. Instead I held his hand, which his mom found adorable. Still, it was a close call.


Edit: This is how I think of SEIs.

[consentingadult]

This oddly sounds like a threat. Lol.

Well the one I'm thinking of will usually respond to me saying shit like this with something like, "Why are you saying that? I never said that." They probably think I'm pushing them to express themselves when they don't want to or don't think it's necessary. Just like those damn SEIs trying to get me to wear a scarf.

My boyfriend's mom is SEI and while I was staying with them recently she kept forcing me to put on mittens, a hat and scarf when we went out (to be fair it was cold, but not THAT cold) and I would stash most of it in my bag until I actually needed it. At one point my boyfriend (IEI) pulled me aside and was like...

him: "She saw you're not wearing the mittens. You might want to put them on."
me: "I don't need them though."
him: "But she says it's cold outside."
me: "I'm already wearing four layers plus a coat, scarf and hat. It's fucking overkill."
him: "Of course it is. How do you think I feel everyday?"

In the end I didn't put them on. Instead I held his hand, which his mom found adorable. Still, it was a close call.


Edit: This is how I think of SEIs.

My GF is SEI, and towards me, she doesn't behave like that. But then again, I'm her semi-dual.

[krieger]

i don't think it's in any way contrary to canon theory to view supervision (from the receiver's point of view) as an outright positive relation: tips on how to navigate outside of your comfort zone (PoLR function) from a person who speaks your language (their Creating is your Base).

[consentingadult]

i don't think it's in any way contrary to canon theory to view supervision (from the receiver's point of view) as an outright positive relation: tips on how to navigate outside of your comfort zone (PoLR function) from a person who speaks your language (their Creating is your Base).

Usually supervision relations are easy to start, because of the reasons your state. And thus such relationships are quite common. But in the long run, interaction at close psychological distance becomes frustrating for both parties. It can work, as acquaintances or not so intense friendships.

[FDG]

i don't think it's in any way contrary to canon theory to view supervision (from the receiver's point of view) as an outright positive relation: tips on how to navigate outside of your comfort zone (PoLR function) from a person who speaks your language (their Creating is your Base).

Yeah. This topic has ben reharsed plenty of times. The general conclusion is, that the real problematic situation could be one where the supervisor is your boss and/or someone that needs to evaluate your work on a frequent basis.

[wacey]

@FDG, what is wrong with rehashing "old topics"? Some of the forum members have not been here as long as you and have not had a chance to talk about these topics in the first place. The16types.info is becoming like an old growth forest - beautiful, majestic towering trees- where many generation old giants block out all the sun for the forest floor. No new plants and trees can take root and reach out for the sun because the old growth trees have blocked the canopy. Biodiversity stagnates, even while the forests stability improves as the dominating species create more favorable conditions for themselves.. It's not just you, it's really apparant for us new trees struggling to reach the sun that all the old trees have already "been there, done that". When a graduate finishes univeristy, they can either stay behind and teach (with benevolence), or they branch out and start there own venture. I am speaking for myself, but am sure others feel the same way, when I say that I are more then happy to hear you rehash socionic topics. Because when a old growth forest reaches that point of no new growth, a forest fire is the only thing that brings new growth and diversity. I love old growth forests by the way and they should and can be protected by laws and governments.

In regards to feeling demeaned by a supervisor, yeah I have felt that way. It is especially hard because often times they are correct, I just feel their approach need not be so "harsh".

[Beautiful sky]

Asian mom video[/video]

hee hee I love people. I see a common theme...Eat, eat, it's cold outside

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TW_-b5FVVU

[Beautiful sky]

I love my SEE friends

[Absurd]

What you wrote sounds pretty homosexual, Wacey.

[wacey]

Oh, that's nice. What you wrote sounds pretty douchey, Absurd.

[Absurd]

Well, everything I write is intentional, no unintentional faux pas there.

Anyhow, for supervision examples (real ones?) you need few willing participants that are going to paint a story of them supervising and how they have been supervised, right? Right.

That means 16 different sociotypes sharing their stories.

Let's say you volunteered already with that comment of yours dealing with your supervisors, great. I think you said you self-type EII, great.

Maritsa self-types EII too and her "story" is completely different from yours, not so great.

As for the theory to which labcoat alluded - somebody must be wrong.

Relations of Supervision can give the impression that Supervisor is constantly watching every step of the Supervisee. The latter usually feels this control even if the Supervisor does not say or do anything. The explanation for this is that the Supervisee weak point is defenceless against the Supervisor's strong point. This makes the Supervisee nervous and expect the worse.

Although the Supervisor can seem self-satisfied, petty, faultfinding and narrative, the Supervisee pays attention to their actions and considers the Supervisor as consequential. The Supervisee normally wants to gain recognition and commendation from the Supervisor. However, it may seem like the Supervisor always undervalues the abilities of the Supervisee. This stimulates the Supervisee into proving their own worthiness with various actions, yet there is little chance that they will succeed.

The Supervisor sees the Supervisee as quite interesting and capable, but incomplete and therefore in need of some help and advice. The Supervisee does not respond to this aid as expected and this will often increase the Supervisor's attempts to change the Supervisee. Because the Supervisee naturally does not understand what it is that the Supervisor wants from them, this may irritate the Supervisor, who thinks that the Supervisee simply does not want to understand.

In relations of Supervision it may also appear as if the Supervisor patronises the Supervisee, which can be quite obtrusive for the latter. When there are more than two people present, the Supervisee often attempts to release themselves from the control of the Supervisor by starting arguments for the sake of it or by attempting to manoeuvre themselves into the commanding position. Unfortunately, these attempts lead nowhere. The Supervisor may think instead that the Supervisee simply requires more attention.

Even when one takes into account this type of relations is called something different in Mother Russia, for I've seen labels like 'audit' thrown around, there must be an 'auditee.'

[wacey]

16 types for 7 billion people, inmeasurable generations and our "stories" will all be the same?

And it is blatanly obvious what you write is intentional. Although, what you are trying to find out for yourself isn"t so apparant.

[Absurd]

I didn't realise this site harbours 7 billion people and you want to measure them all. Furthermore, I didn't realise those 7 billion people actually have Sociotypes and I'm sure they do not realise it themselves.

I'm looking for buried treasure just like you...

[wacey]

...Well okay then. Anyway what you write about the theory being wrong I don't think so. Socionics is an art, not a science. BUT you still need the qualities scientists have, discernent, skeptsism, curiousity, the ability to change your mind, and good spelling, which I seem to lack.

I would share more stories, Absurd, but people keep shooting me down and saying I am to personal (although I have seen posts here from years ago and people have always been personal here) and some other person keeps posting my sentiments shared in pm"s on the rest of the forum. Also, people are quite cruel here, in a flippant and flaky sorta way. Which is fine because it takes 16 types, but it has the effect of making me leary of sharing.

This also, consequently, is excactly how SEE"s make me feel: not "able" enough to share my thoughts. That my thoughts do not really count. In one way they are correct, but that inner world is my treasure. I am not looking for it, I am looking to share the treasure I have. SEE seem to brush this aside with a careless hand, imo. Let the blustering ensue.

[Absurd]

I didn't write it is wrong. It reads both of your accounts on being supervised are not the same thing. While Maritsa loves her supervisors what is evident in her typing list, you don't.

[wacey]

So? Then they are different. Doesn't make anyone right or wrong. Or the theory, or our self typings.

You asked me my thoughts on supervisor, and there they are. I never stated I disliked them, I stated I disliked some of their approaches to me. They make my assessments or sentiments feel "useless" or unworthy. Like I have by being myself, done something wrong. I cannot relate to saying I love this type or that type, for, if one individuals behavior is so contrary to what I think is right or normal or acceptable or human or torable- and the beauty of ignoring people is you can tolerate a lot- or ignorant (and I am talking behaviors beyond the scope of socionics), then no I would not like them, EVEN if I understood them or their sociotype. SOMETIMES personalities types clash because of intertype relations, that's the excitment of seeing this in action. More often not life experinces that have shaped the individual is what causes most behavioural reactions (I am not including instinctual human behaviour here) BUT not liking a person does not mean I could not get along with them, or even appreciate some of the things about them. Socionics is an art.

One other thing a SEE does specifically would be to brush this sort of train of thought aside as pointless^. Not the content but the method. Its like, imo, they are looking for the depth of an INTp, which is also in the EII, and the objective mindset of the INTp, which when viewing the EII, they mistakenly see only the subjective. What they don't seem to realize is that for EII minds, being subjective IS our objectivity.

[Absurd]

In a way it doesn't and in a way it does. Let's imagine(?) I am Maritsa and EII, and after reading what you wrote on particular Socionics topic I'm going to disagree with you and claim that in no way you are EII, for you're not like me, and I would behave completely differently when faced with the same set of scenarios in real life regarding, say supervision/conflict relations.

Theory aside, for it just says how intertype relations are bound to manifest. Theory doesn't allow any room for error, it's perfect, it's an idea.

[wacey]

Then I would say, that is nice. And if our relationship allowed between us the candid sharing of thoughts I would say that other groups have taken their beliefs as absolute truths before. The catholics were no less fervent when they tortured and killed hundreds of thousands of people during the inquestiton. Nor the Jews when they condemmed a heretical man to die naked and bloddy on a wooden cross. Nor the chinese revolutionists who saw only one voice, one way to build a society, as they murdered all who disagreed. Even their violins. I would say the hutus who murdered their neighbors that they did not realize theywere of the same blood as their neighbors. I would say the converted think this way. I would say perhaps it was time to step back and take perspective. Return when the heart tells you its okay now.

Maybe we cannot even see the overall pattern , but that doesn't mean that the supervision scenario didn't play out in a similar fashion. The internet is not a perfect medium for describing incredibly complex situations.

Anyway, I like when people can speak for themselves and not have others put words into their mouths.

[Absurd]

This doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I don't know what Catholics, Jews and Chinese have to do with supervision, unless you mean the Catholics were supervised by the Protestant, Jews supervised Jesus and Chinese people supervised Tibetans.

[Azure Flame]

This doesn't make any sense whatsoever. I don't know what Catholics, Jews and Chinese have to do with supervision, unless you mean the Catholics were supervised by the Protestant, Jews supervised Jesus and Chinese people supervised Tibetans.

LMFAO

[Pierreuse]

Re: not feeling like a supervisor lets us be ourselves, I've never exactly felt that with SEIs. More like, they're practically on the edge of their seat waiting for me to stop sucking at Si, grow up and be really good at it. I'm not saying that that means other EIEs don't feel that way. I tend to just pretend Si doesn't exist and do things if they're interesting/fun or I could time them really well, not for the reasons Si-egos seem to. For instance, my ESE mom as well as my SEI friends spend a shitload of time eating snacks and comfort food, watching movies and doing things that bring feelings of tranquility and well-being, but that's something I just can't do. Half the time I can't finish a movie once it gets boring (my Fe has to really latch on hard to something in it which rarely happens; either it feels too fake or it's too depressing usually) and I don't understand how my alpha SF friends have seen all of theirs literally dozens of times. I think my mom has seen the movie Galaxy Quest over twenty times and still watches it regularly. That sort of existence just feels like death to me. The thought of doing something "just to relax" is insanely depressing and feels like a huge waste.

When people DO notice that I can't really do that stuff seriously (even my Si-DS friends get disappointed by it, but it's just how I am, so...) I actually feel relieved, like maybe they won't expect me to do it again in the future now that they know where I stand. The only time this wasn't the case and I got a really strong negative reaction was from an SLI friend who got really pissed at me for pretending to be tired and leaving his family get-together early because their idea of fun was to watch a That 70s Show marathon in complete silence while sipping canned soda. Maybe I just haven't spent enough time around SEIs my own age since older ones usually baby me. If anything, I don't feel like I'm disappointing them by not living up to their standards, just that I'm probably being really really rude to them by acting like their "world" isn't important.

[Korpsy Knievel]

I worked for and lived in the same house with an EIE for a year and a half and despite a few blowups stemming from the both of us being headstrong assholes we are still on good terms. Supervision isn't shit. Stop giving people magical control over your life "becuz socionics".

[FDG]

@FDG, what is wrong with rehashing "old topics"? Some of the forum members have not been here as long as you and have not had a chance to talk about these topics in the first place. The16types.info is becoming like an old growth forest - beautiful, majestic towering trees- where many generation old giants block out all the sun for the forest floor. No new plants and trees can take root and reach out for the sun because the old growth trees have blocked the canopy. Biodiversity stagnates, even while the forests stability improves as the dominating species create more favorable conditions for themselves.. It's not just you, it's really apparant for us new trees struggling to reach the sun that all the old trees have already "been there, done that". When a graduate finishes univeristy, they can either stay behind and teach (with benevolence), or they branch out and start there own venture. I am speaking for myself, but am sure others feel the same way, when I say that I are more then happy to hear you rehash socionic topics. Because when a old growth forest reaches that point of no new growth, a forest fire is the only thing that brings new growth and diversity. I love old growth forests by the way and they should and can be protected by laws and governments.

Caaaalm down. Nothing particularly wrong with rehashing old topics, it was just a very small comment in a short post, so I believe this reaction is a bit unwarranted.

[wacey]

Caaaalm down. Nothing particularly wrong with rehashing old topics, it was just a very small comment in a short post, so I believe this reaction is a bit unwarranted.

Really I was cool as a cucumber when I wrote that. If I write that much or say that much it means I am interested. Usually I just woundnt say anything at all. I can see that you were somewhat annoyed and I apologize for any misuderstanding, guy. (:

[wacey]

I just want to clarify a point here. I am not saying supervision is bad or good. That the process is right or wrong. I am simply offering my point of view in regards to how my particular feelings are about supervision relations. I think I have adequatly described both the benefits I feel from a supervisor and some of the negatives. I have also described how those negatives make me feel. In the world of introspection ( I deem the act of researching personality types an act of introspection), all feelings are open to being valid. They may not be validated by others, but as a grown up human being that is okay to me. If a person expresses a particular view of an intertype relation, I think there can be something to be gained from listening without the need to compare to ones own experinces, at least initially. To assume that because I have had a negative experinces with a supervisor does not equal supervision is bad. It simply supports the notion of why that relationship played out in that manner, and how both parties may possibly feel. There is no intrinsic value being ascribed to an intertype relationship when someone shares their experinces of that relationship.

People are social creatures and have a deep desire to share. People just want to be heard, mostly. That was a glib conclusion I came too after years of volunteering for a crisis line. If people feel they are really heard, then they feel validated, EVEN if what they said I personally disagree with.

[wacey]

To validate someones experinces feels like a real gift when you are on the receiving end. Validation, IMO, is a key component of a supervision relationship. The supervised may have a hard time feeling validated when the supervisor instructs them about some issue and because the supervisee process, or actions was not validated they may feel that the relationship itself is lopsided. This effect is amplified if the supervisee lacks self-reflection enough to recognize the inherent personality imbalance. They may see there was a "correct" way of viewing that situation, or behaving in that event and by nature of ones super-ego weaknesses are effected either positively or negatively depending on individual worldview and outlook. This lopsidedness is felt by the supervisee because hi/her psyche perhaps does value the supervisors most used Information Elements, starting with the leading function, yet may lack sufficient resolve and life skills to adequately implement mastery over these information elements.

The supervisor invalidates the supervisee by using communication blockers. Each communication blocker is different for each sociotype ( so this is why it is such a opportunity to read posts on this website because it is a chance to get into the heads of other sociotype, without all the real world messy observations of intertype relationships that are affected by me the viewer).

A supervisor more often than not is correct about the supervisee, but even so, they invalidate the supervisee by using these communication blockers.

Some examples include the following.

1.) ADVISING; giving the other person the solution.

An SEE says to her LSI friend, "The house is always a mess when I come home. I try to talk to my husband but every time I start to talk he just gets up and leaves. I don"t understand! I mean he leaves whenever I open my mouth.". The LSI supervisor, responding with her leading function, offers her advice "maybe it feels like you are nagging him. What you should do is talk with him when he is relaxed maybe after supper or something. Then just talk with him without yelling or screaming or accusing. Then make sure you have laundry baskets set up for certain clothes, whites in one, colours in another. All shoes come off before he enters the stairwell......" In this instance the SEE was simply venting her emotions, she wants to be heard and not be advised about her situation. She knows he is right but does not appreciate the approach.

2.) MORALIZING; telling others what they should do.

A confused SLE talks with her ESI cousin,"I feel so guilty. My best friends boyfriend called me last night and he wants just the two of us to go out sometime. I told him yes, but now I don't know what to do." The ESI, seeing the dilema the SLE has walked into offers an answer from her ego block. "The right thing to do is tell your best friend what has happened. It's wrong to go behind her back like this." With this moralizing statement, the SLE feels unsure and unvalidated about about the implications about what she has done. She did not want to hear the ESI message because it tugs at her ethically bereft base functions. Even if the ESI solution and judgment of the SLE actions are correct she still feels uncomfortable with its implications. Moralizing is a communication blocker the ESI's unwittenly use to invalidate her supervisee, the SLE.

3.) EXCESSIVE QUESTIONING; closed or irrelevent questions that move the person away from the issue or their feelings.

Two sisters, an LII and IEE discuss their families. The IEE sighs, "I'm so tired of trying to take care of everybody. My husband, my kids, my mother; everyone seems to need something from me. When do I get time for myself?" The LII quickly and cooly addresses what she believes to be the problem, " Do you ever get a day off? Have you ever tried telling your family "no"? Can you find yourself a good baby sitter? Would your husband mind if you had a housekeeper?" Clearly, the IEE understands she could find solutions to her issues that would change the outlook of getting days off. She feels powerless and disconnected from her base function Ne at times like this and wants that validated. Her supervisor sister has done exactly what the IEE does not appreciate at moments like this: asked to many questions that pull the IEE away from her overwhelming feelings and focus instead on "irrelevant" questions asked by her LII sister, who herself cannot understand why the IEE puts so much on her plate to begin with. The IEE knows she can handle anything regarding her family, just sometimes it can be a lot. Using her creative Fi function, the IEE is trying to find the source of her unease. The LII sister has used a communication blocker to steer the conversation from what is relevent, the feeling of being overwhelmed, towards the content, or what can be done, which the IEE feels is less important.

4.) DIVERTING; switching from the other's concerns to your own topic.

Long time and close coworkers sit down for lunch. The younger of the two, an SLI admits, "I just don't know what to do! I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't do anything but think about what my wife is doing since we have separated." His intertype supervisor, the ESE, sees the obvious turmoil his work mate is in, quickly he responds, "It sounds bad but I know that it took me a couple of years to get over that stage after my wife left. It just didn't do me any good to worry about him SO I started to blah blah blah blah blah........". The ESE, in best intentions has moved the topic to himself. This makes the SLI feel unsure about his already confused feelings, which he is normally unaware of to begin with. He wants a chance to discuss HIS predicament because it is weighing heavily on his mind. He knows in his gut things should be addressed because he has slide far away from his base Si by not eating or sleeping, both activities he does not normally avoid. Without his wife in his life, he has few others he can turn to for an open ear and instant validation. To help out his friend, the ESE has tried to "cheer him up" in the present moment by using his confident leading Fe function. This is not the way an SLI wants to resolve his feeling of breavement. He quickly swallows his comments, he needed recognition for verbilizing his feelings in the first place. Although appreciative that the ESE has been in a similar situation, he has been invalidated. He pastes on a mechanical smile for his ESE coworker.

5.) DIAGNOSING; analyzing, psycologizing.

An ESI neighbor takes the beer offered by an IEE. He sips it slowly and puts the bottle down. "My wife has been really distant lately. The only thing I can think of is that I've started playing ball again. It takes me out of the house a few nights a week. Maybe she doesn't like that." The IEE looks out the window then with wistful and knowning look says to the distraught ESI, "Your problem is that you don't spend enough time with your wife. You should take her out for a nice dinner tonight that would help. She feels as though you don't care enough for her to make romantic gestures anymore". The ESI isn't so sure the IEE assesment of his situation is right. Besides hadn't the ESI thought of doing that already? The IEE is invalidating the ESI by psyco-analyzing the ESI and his wife. Who knows what the wife is really thinking or doing? The leading Ne function of the IEE has gotten carried away by opportunities to change the ESI situation by offering the solution of going out for dinner when the IEE lacks critical information, information that the ESI feels the IEE is not privy to as neighbors. The ESI thinks "let the IEE analyze what I do, knowing my wife, she wouldn't even realize I spend much of my day thinking about her wellbeing anyway". The communication blocker of diagnosing is something the IEE does when supervising his ESI neighbor. The ESI feels invalidated, even if she she can agree dinner might be a quick solution to an chronic problem.

6.) CRITICIZING; negative evaluation of the other person.

The LSI's Mom is an ILE, his supervisor. He seems sullen and quite all through dinner, so she approaches him. He says something has happened at school with his friends. "I feel so bad, I told a secret about my bestfriend to a girl I though I could trust, and now there are rumours about her all over the school." The ILE's Mom can see the obvious remorse her son feels, but responds with habitual excaserbation, "That was really mean of you to tell a secret, you should feel bad." The LSI rarely gets involved in lunch time gossip and ever time he does he ends up getting "in trouble". He often feels unsure about others feelings towards him and usually he is unconcerned with rumours anyway. The ILE has invalidated her LSI son by using her leading function Ne, which is very comfortable imagining all sorts of possible outcomes when revealing a secret. She would have already guessed the secret would get out and become a rumour, even before sharing it. She sees her son struggle with this sort of imagining possible consequences his whole life. She feels she needs to educate him, but has yet again said something that has invalidated his effort. Next time he just won't say anything at all.


7.) REASSURING; trying to stop the other person from feeling the negative aspect of their situation or concern.

"I am worried about going back to Toronto tomorrow, I'm scared of flying, " an ESE confides in her IEI friend. The IEI replies, "Oh, it will be okay. Planes are really safe now. You don't have to worry about anything!" The ESE knows her IEI friend is right, and she is always amazed by how sure her IEI friend is of what is going to happen tomorrow. She still however, feels worried. She has been invalidated by her IEI, who could have instead offered her to help pack her suitcases and babysit the dog. The supervisee in this case admires her IEI friends optimism and appreciates the attempt to reasure her worries. Somehow though, it seems lopsided, how does the IEI KNOW the plane won't crash?!

8.) ARGUING; attempting to convice the other with an appeal to facts of logic.

A younger rookie coworker finds partner in the coffee room. Being a chatty type SEI, he complains: "The boss totally jumped down my throat today. I was half and hour late for work, that's all, half an hour late and this is the way she treats me!" Quick to offer his two cents, the LSE intertype supervisor responds. "Well, it sounds like you are at fault here. After all you are the one who was late for work". The SEI replies, "yeah but....", trailing off, he sees the LSE is right. But the SEI wasn't looking to argue with his boss and his coworker! He is invalidated and feels the LSE will just argue him anyway, with that straighforward leading Te, "why even bother?" the SEI thinks.

Nine: WITHDRAWING; implies unacceptable ;leading the other person to believe that their problems are insignificant and that negative emotions should be avoided.

*will come back to this later

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

is this a russian translation?

[wacey]

No, I wrote it, based off real crisis line calls. I used communication blockers that I have observed different IE leading types used. It is in no way fact, but I feel the over all impressions are accurate. I cannot really think of what type would use withdrawing, but I suspect SLE"s use this when supervising.

I tried to focus on the negative aspect and imagine real world scenarios where supervision would take place. Because the leading function of the supervisee is the supervisor's creative function AND the the supervisor's leading function is the supervisee polr 4th function, I wanted to portary how the supervisee both accepts the advice, yet rejects it too. Thje creative function/leading function connection feels like "yeah okay what they are saying is valid". The leading/polr function connection feels like "this is lame and er please stop it".

Maybe I did bad, IDK.

Also I messed up on some of the terms.