How to attract ESFp women

[nanashi]

Nah all that 'song-and-dance' stuff is cultural, and just old-fashioned now. Not type related imo. if it was type related, I'd say it's an fi-value.

Hmm. Really? Why?

I think I might agree with you if you meant the personal relationship interaction aspect. I was referring to the ritualized forms the gestures are made in, even though the stuff has nothing to do with the two people involved and their (Fi) personal likes/relationship.

[Azeroffs]

Hmm. Really? Why?

I think I might agree with you if you meant the personal relationship interaction aspect. I was referring to the ritualized forms the gestures are made in, even though the stuff has nothing to do with the two people involved and their (Fi) personal likes/relationship.

Yeah, you mean like the guy asking the girl's father for a blessing or something like that. Yeah, I mean, depending on the culture you're suited toward, that may seen as the right thing to do, and it may be somewhat appalling that that standard isn't upheld even from say the girl's perspective, and it may be such an extreme that she loses respect and interest in the guy. I don't really know though. Like I said, it's highly cultural, and probably isn't even type related.

[carrina]

I have the idea that Ni types tend to set things up for people to come to them. Essentially they do everything without ever actually doing anything if that makes any sense. A good analogy would be that they set up the dominoes for Se types to knock down. Ni types secretly take control over situations without ever letting you know, and they're sneaky and a bit manipulative in that way. Maybe that's more the case for ENxjs who take a more active approach. They say and do the right things to make it seem like it was your decision when in reality it was them pulling your strings. I think it's more innocent than I made it sound, though. Ni-types just have strong insights into how what they do will affect the way things go, and they know the subtle buttons to push.

Omg this is why i love the ni's so much. But it's even more subtle than this. They are more suggestive and avoid being directive. I don't know if that's because they're afraid to tell people what to do, because they think it's rude, or what. But it is rather nice. It gives us se types a feeling of autonomy and control over ourselves. It's like "hey here are your choices and this is what each will bring" and the se types do it (hopefully it benefits all ni's too if they're smart enough ). I know this thread is probably long dead but it's in the quick links so just a suggestion: sometimes the se types very distracted so you can feel free to give a little push sometimes. They might not like it but it'll get their attention.
To answer another question about attracting them: if you spot them, like Marissa said, their eyes dart around because they're quick thinkers (disorganized). And confidence will get their attention but don't be aggressive. There are many cases when i put a guy on mental ignore because they've been too dominant with me. It's disturbing to say the least.

[blackburry]

what... the NiTe people I know are extremely direct. and can definitely be pushy.

[Beautiful sky]

I have an amazing SEE friend who needs a dual.

[End]

SEEs are the easiest type to attract IMO. They're usually quite social & end up doing all the work. Just don't come off as imposing or high strong around them & feed them lots of Ni.

Ok, then how exactly do you spot them? One must remember that the quasi-identical of the dual is the conflictor. This makes things... rather interesting as it's easy to mistype and thus land your ass in a hornet's nest. So what are the key features of an SEE that set them apart from the other types and how does an ILI best attract them?

[Sol]

rather interesting as it's easy to mistype and thus land your ass in a hornet's nest

But short relation with any type can be not bad if you keep psychological distance. If someone seeks for new impressions and not serious relations, a conflictor may to be interesting. If you'll understand the mistyping soon, the problem may be minimal.

So what are the key features of an SEE that set them apart from the other types

Look at preferences, values and model A.

how does an ILI best attract them?

Be ILI and don't try to be other.

[Eliza Thomason]

Ok, then how exactly do you spot them? One must remember that the quasi-identical of the dual is the conflictor. This makes things... rather interesting as it's easy to mistype and thus land your ass in a hornet's nest. So what are the key features of an SEE that set them apart from the other types and how does an ILI best attract them?

Yes, SEE will do most of the "social" work for you, very adeptly. Just notice and appreciate them! A compliment doesn't hurt, either!

The differences between an ESFp and ESFj are pretty strong. You just won't feel the same attraction to the ESFj, IMO. Below are a couple of links to discussions with people's opinions of the differences. First a few thoughts.

They are both interested in fashion, but ESFj looks more classic, and you will see a definite appreciation of quality. SEE likes fashion, too, but they often add something interesting, unique, eye-catching to it. Like purple rain boots with a skirt? Not something an ESE woudl do. My dh's SEE daughter is more classic, and she likes quality Coach bags, but she has a dramatic flair to how she dresses. Just more "flair" to a SEE. They can put together a real noticeable outfit, more than ESE.

The ESE's I know have all been willing to have me lean on them when I need help. Like my ESE friend who majored in Communication in college - whenever I would be at wit's end in a situation with my ex, she should offer lots of communication advice - all kinds of things I never thought about, very extensive and thorough, and I appreciated her help and she liked helping me. My ex was actually an ESE, but a Narcissist, so, being married to him, I later understood, I was merely "Secondary Narcissist Supply" so he did not like to help me, or even acknowledge me any more than he had to for that matter. However, he always LOVED helping the neighbors, and ANYONE at church, or any stranger he just met. He LOVED that - being seen as a helpful person.

While a SEE will be as helpful as anyone else, it is not their self-identifying characteristic.

In this link, which is people on this forum discussing what they see the differences are between ESE and SEE, I like #33 because it really describes the different ways a SEE and ESE might react in the same situation/conversation, making the distinction between the two quite clear. Also #67,#72, #74 describe some ESE distinctions accurately.

Here is an article that makes differences between ESFj and ESFp very clear:
http://www.sociotype.com/tools/type-comparison/ESE-SEE

[End]

@Eliza Thomason Ouch, married to a narcissist, that must have been hell emotionally. Damn bastards think they're gods and that you should just fall down and worship them already no matter how horribly they're treating you. You have my condolences. Thanks for the post BTW, quite helpful, will keep those points in mind when I'm out and about in the dating pool .

[Whoobie77]

when I'm out and about in the dating pool .

here's my advice: read Sartre

existence precedes essence

when you find a person you like, go from there. trust your gut, rather than trying to figure out if they are the right shade of purple that the debunked Soviet mind control site told you they should be

[End]

here's my advice: read Sartre

existence precedes essence

when you find a person you like, go from there. trust your gut, rather than trying to figure out if they are the right shade of purple that the debunked Soviet mind control site told you they should be

Lucky me, I already pretty much agree with existentialist philosophy . We make our own meaning in this shithole of a world. And I already trust my gut, hasn't failed me yet! Gotta love it as a program function, you get to see the future! Too bad it, like any special ability, has a cost. I know I did things, but I can't tell you when exactly I did them. Oh well, worth it IMO.

[Whoobie77]

Lucky me, I already pretty much agree with existentialist philosophy .

if you believe that you have a fundamental archetype which governs you behavior, you're doing it wrong

[hatesyardwork]

what... the NiTe people I know are extremely direct. and can definitely be pushy.

Speaking for myself.......Depends on doubt and attraction, if no doubt (or misjudged doubt) and true attraction, head first and direct. If not, then games to have them reveal interest first or prove they will work to keep your graces.

[hatesyardwork]

Omg this is why i love the ni's so much. But it's even more subtle than this. They are more suggestive and avoid being directive. I don't know if that's because they're afraid to tell people what to do, because they think it's rude, or what. But it is rather nice. It gives us se types a feeling of autonomy and control over ourselves. It's like "hey here are your choices and this is what each will bring" and the se types do it (hopefully it benefits all ni's too if they're smart enough ). I know this thread is probably long dead but it's in the quick links so just a suggestion: sometimes the se types very distracted so you can feel free to give a little push sometimes. They might not like it but it'll get their attention.
To answer another question about attracting them: if you spot them, like Marissa said, their eyes dart around because they're quick thinkers (disorganized). And confidence will get their attention but don't be aggressive. There are many cases when i put a guy on mental ignore because they've been too dominant with me. It's disturbing to say the least.

Excellent post, really. Hit's the Ni/Se attraction perfectly. "Give her attention and then give her space.".............. "Why is he giving me space after getting my attention?" A little push describes it well. A nudge here and a nudge there, and then do nothing to get a reaction. It works, they will come if you interest them and don't crowd them. It's building, sustaining and peaking interest in both types, because it's all in your head........and the Ni is also protecting himself from rejection (sensitive) and getting an ego boost from the attraction which is building in him because he feels wanted and desired by the forceful Se. The Se attraction is building if there is any substance to the romance style of wanting someone worthy. Aggressor/Victim in a nutshell.

[End]

Excellent post, really. Hit's the Ni/Se attraction perfectly. "Give her attention and then give her space.".............. "Why is he giving me space after getting my attention?" A little push describes it well. A nudge here and a nudge there, and then do nothing to get a reaction. It works, they will come if you interest them and don't crowd them. It's building, sustaining and peaking interest in both types, because it's all in your head........and the Ni is also protecting himself from rejection (sensitive) and getting an ego boost from the attraction which is building in him because he feels wanted and desired by the forceful Se. The Se attraction is building if there is any substance to the romance style of wanting someone worthy. Aggressor/Victim in a nutshell.

I'm... gonna have to agree with this. The Ni victim wants above all to feel like they're wanted by someone. That someone actually noticed them and desired them for who and what they are, that someone saw them as worth the effort. Pity things like traditional gender roles and social expectations get in the way of that for many people...

[Olimpia]

It's building, sustaining and peaking interest in both types, because it's all in your head........and the Ni is also protecting himself from rejection (sensitive) and getting an ego boost from the attraction which is building in him because he feels wanted and desired by the forceful Se. The Se attraction is building if there is any substance to the romance style of wanting someone worthy. Aggressor/Victim in a nutshell.

Previously, I've dreamt about a handsome male SEE stalking me, haha. Your description reminded me of that dream.
I was at some mall with a female friend, and she kept looking over and pointing at that handsome guy on the other side of the room, who kept staring at me constantly. Usually, I either get annoyed or creeped out by some random guy staring at me, but because this one was somewhat familiar to me and exhibited an "Aggressor" vibe, I actually experienced delight in his attention. Like you said, the Ni type gets an interesting ego boost from feeling desired by a forceful Se type. I've also enjoyed seeing him missing the elevator I was in at some point; it was one made out of glass, so I could see him standing there, looking both frustrated and invigorated, because me getting away gave him a challenge. He kept showing up at each elevator stop, missing me by just a second each time, chasing me that way, haha. His pursuit gave me some kind of deeper enjoyment, without it being selfish; because I was expecting him to catch up eventually, I was looking forward to that. Though as long as that game kept going on, it was exciting to me.

[hatesyardwork]

Previously, I've dreamt about a handsome male SEE stalking me, haha. Your description reminded me of that dream.
I was at some mall with a female friend, and she kept looking over and pointing at that handsome guy on the other side of the room, who kept staring at me constantly. Usually, I either get annoyed or creeped out by some random guy staring at me, but because this one was somewhat familiar to me and exhibited an "Aggressor" vibe, I actually experienced delight in his attention. Like you said, the Ni type gets an interesting ego boost from feeling desired by a forceful Se type. I've also enjoyed seeing him missing the elevator I was in at some point; it was one made out of glass, so I could see him standing there, looking both frustrated and invigorated, because me getting away gave him a challenge. He kept showing up at each elevator stop, missing me by just a second each time, chasing me that way, haha. His pursuit gave me some kind of deeper enjoyment, without it being selfish; because I was expecting him to catch up eventually, I was looking forward to that. Though as long as that game kept going on, it was exciting to me.

Not selfish, it's all you can do and all you can be. It is what turns you on. We are not Se ego's, we think too much, and love to do so. Dragging the shit out, I love it and I know how frustrating it is for duals, but lack of patience shows weakness, or insincerity. I can't say it's manipulative, because for me it's reflexive, I can't be any other way. They often give up but I can't really NOT be passive and restrained, it feels natural and turns me on, and turns them on I have found. Often it plays out to an outright confrontation where essentially they throw themselves at me. She and I played it to the hilt and it's time to dual. They can't wait anymore, and you can't hold out anymore. This is the most satisfying thing ever.......when you see YOUR foresight realized with someone because you now feel safe allowing yourself be vulnerable because they put the work in and the sincerity is certain...... it's time to reward them with the only thing my autonomy values, and that is myself.

[End]

Previously, I've dreamt about a handsome male SEE stalking me, haha. Your description reminded me of that dream.
I was at some mall with a female friend, and she kept looking over and pointing at that handsome guy on the other side of the room, who kept staring at me constantly. Usually, I either get annoyed or creeped out by some random guy staring at me, but because this one was somewhat familiar to me and exhibited an "Aggressor" vibe, I actually experienced delight in his attention. Like you said, the Ni type gets an interesting ego boost from feeling desired by a forceful Se type. I've also enjoyed seeing him missing the elevator I was in at some point; it was one made out of glass, so I could see him standing there, looking both frustrated and invigorated, because me getting away gave him a challenge. He kept showing up at each elevator stop, missing me by just a second each time, chasing me that way, haha. His pursuit gave me some kind of deeper enjoyment, without it being selfish; because I was expecting him to catch up eventually, I was looking forward to that. Though as long as that game kept going on, it was exciting to me.

Damn @SisOfNight, replace the dude with an athletic looking girl with a predatory look in her eyes and... yeah, I'd like that for some twisted reason .

[hatesyardwork]

I'm... gonna have to agree with this. The Ni victim wants above all to feel like they're wanted by someone. That someone actually noticed them and desired them for who and what they are, that someone saw them as worth the effort. Pity things like traditional gender roles and social expectations get in the way of that for many people...

Hear hear!

[hatesyardwork]

Though as long as that game kept going on, it was exciting to me.

Quite the tease aren't you? This is definitively me.

[hatesyardwork]

Damn @SisOfNight, replace the dude with an athletic looking girl with a predatory look in her eyes and... yeah, I'd like that for some twisted reason .

@End Your male avatar is an elevator operator, not a handsome male SEE.

[hatesyardwork]

@SisOfNight Your male avatar is an elevator operator, not a handsome male SEE.

Shit my bad, I meant Ends avatar, disregard.

[End]

@End Your male avatar is an elevator operator, not a handsome male SEE.

My avatar is an elevator operator? It doesn't look like that, more like a weary soldier making camp with an interesting companion.

[hatesyardwork]

My avatar is an elevator operator? It doesn't look like that, more like a weary soldier making camp with an interesting companion.

bad joke.........sisnights SEE dream description of the elevator. I like your avatar, it is better than my joke

[carrina]

Excellent post, really. Hit's the Ni/Se attraction perfectly. "Give her attention and then give her space.".............. "Why is he giving me space after getting my attention?" A little push describes it well. A nudge here and a nudge there, and then do nothing to get a reaction. It works, they will come if you interest them and don't crowd them. It's building, sustaining and peaking interest in both types, because it's all in your head........and the Ni is also protecting himself from rejection (sensitive) and getting an ego boost from the attraction which is building in him because he feels wanted and desired by the forceful Se. The Se attraction is building if there is any substance to the romance style of wanting someone worthy. Aggressor/Victim in a nutshell.

Yes the other really cool thing is that once the friendship takes off there's a very pleasant feeling between the two. Not all duals and activity partners but for me it feels like a buzzing feeling. If the girl (or guy) is in touch with how they feel about people, it should take off nicely. (It's the latter stages that have problems ouch lol). Granted the maturity level should be somewhat matched. And if it doesn't work out, cut your losses. I view it as a positive thing. Basically the best way imo to not waste a bunch of unnecessary time in a relationship where two people aren't compatible mentally and emotionally is to let the relationship die when the other party starts acting like a child. You're gonna get that with some gamma sf's, a few examples come to mind.

[carrina]

Not selfish, it's all you can do and all you can be. It is what turns you on. We are not Se ego's, we think too much, and love to do so. Dragging the shit out, I love it and I know how frustrating it is for duals, but lack of patience shows weakness, or insincerity. I can't say it's manipulative, because for me it's reflexive, I can't be any other way. They often give up but I can't really NOT be passive and restrained, it feels natural and turns me on, and turns them on I have found. Often it plays out to an outright confrontation where essentially they throw themselves at me. She and I played it to the hilt and it's time to dual. They can't wait anymore, and you can't hold out anymore. This is the most satisfying thing ever.......when you see YOUR foresight realized with someone because you now feel safe allowing yourself be vulnerable because they put the work in and the sincerity is certain...... it's time to reward them with the only thing my autonomy values, and that is myself.

Wow slow clap for this commentary

[carrina]

I'm... gonna have to agree with this. The Ni victim wants above all to feel like they're wanted by someone. That someone actually noticed them and desired them for who and what they are, that someone saw them as worth the effort. Pity things like traditional gender roles and social expectations get in the way of that for many people...

I didn't know that end. Damn can i get an amen se-ni perfection. If all the ni ppl want is to be desired, well that works out perfectly. Se egos *have to get what they want* and its much better if it's not easy to get.
Se desires ni. Pokes ni. Ni looks up briefly. Se gets confused. Pokes ni. Ni gets confused too and runs away. Se chases. *Role switch* etc etc

[hatesyardwork]

Yes the other really cool thing is that once the friendship takes off there's a very pleasant feeling between the two. Not all duals and activity partners but for me it feels like a buzzing feeling. If the girl (or guy) is in touch with how they feel about people, it should take off nicely. (It's the latter stages that have problems ouch lol). Granted the maturity level should be somewhat matched. And if it doesn't work out, cut your losses. I view it as a positive thing. Basically the best way imo to not waste a bunch of unnecessary time in a relationship where two people aren't compatible mentally and emotionally is to let the relationship die when the other party starts acting like a child. You're gonna get that with some gamma sf's, a few examples come to mind.

Very wise. Starting a relationship within the quadra is hard given the trust issues inherent in us all, but leaving is easy for me if it gets stupid. Even with deep feelings involved, I know I can't get blood out of a turnip. The hope you see in the courtship is replaced with blackness, when you go deep and there are issues.

[hatesyardwork]

I didn't know that sis. Damn can i get an amen se-ni perfection. If all the ni ppl want is to be desired, well that works out perfectly. Se egos *have to get what they want* and its much better if it's not easy to get.
Se desires ni. Pokes ni. Ni looks up briefly. Se gets confused. Pokes ni. Ni gets confused too and runs away. Se chases. *Role switch* etc etc

It's like "you're not black you wouldn't understand" to understand the NiSe dynamic. It's so natural for me, that attraction dynamic which is best described as "dude you had to be there" I don't understand but I know I do it. I read "I don't like being called a victim, I have dignity" What? I read it and say "holy shit, I am totally a victim!" Chase me, I might let you catch me. I read the other quadra romance styles and go yuck. Tickling and cuddling and holding out sex to control behavior? I thought I played games. Give me Fi and Se please.

[hatesyardwork]

Wow slow clap for this commentary

That's some sexy shit huh? You must be a gamma.

[carrina]

That's some sexy shit huh? You must be a gamma.

Lmao yeah gamma sf. Oo

[carrina]

It's like "you're not black you wouldn't understand" to understand the NiSe dynamic. It's so natural for me, that attraction dynamic which is best described as "dude you had to be there" I don't understand but I know I do it. I read "I don't like being called a victim, I have dignity" What? I read it and say "holy shit, I am totally a victim!" Chase me, I might let you catch me. I read the other quadra romance styles and go yuck. Tickling and cuddling and holding out sex to control behavior? I thought I played games. Give me Fi and Se please.

Took me a minute to get what you meant with the black thing i almost thought you were pulling a race card on me... Jk
I almost understand the caregiver attitudes and then i date an SLI and cringe. I'm a grown ass woman please do not even try cutting my steak for me i will put you in friend zone so quick...
Also, when people try to court me assertively my response internally "HELPPP"
Lmao yeah the romantic attitudes are very accurate.

[carrina]

The best way for me to illustrate the ni victim attitude is that it feels like constant challenges being thrown at me which is very good. Previously (before Socionics) i did not know or have words for these preferences. It was just a bunch of confusion and me thinking that i was a jerk but i just really don't appreciate the gender roles. I strongly dislike being chased.

[carrina]

Very wise. Starting a relationship within the quadra is hard given the trust issues inherent in us all, but leaving is easy for me if it gets stupid. Even with deep feelings involved, I know I can't get blood out of a turnip. The hope you see in the courtship is replaced with blackness, when you go deep and there are issues.

Honestly you shouldn't take my relational advice too much to heart I'm generally against dating and courtship

[carrina]

what... the NiTe people I know are extremely direct. and can definitely be pushy.

Well, you know what they say about opinions everybody's got one.

given the relational associations that you and I share, it doesn't surprise me that you would be replying to all my comments and disagreeing with everything I say. Don't be surprised if you keep this up when I block you on the social media outlet that you and I share and further conflagration the issue in all the ways that you would hate the most. Jealousy and revenge is a bitch.

[carrina]

here's my advice: read Sartre

existence precedes essence

when you find a person you like, go from there. trust your gut, rather than trying to figure out if they are the right shade of purple that the debunked Soviet mind control site told you they should be

True that

[blackburry]

Well, you know what they say about opinions everybody's got one.

given the relational associations that you and I share, it doesn't surprise me that you would be replying to all my comments and disagreeing with everything I say. Don't be surprised if you keep this up when I block you on the social media outlet that you and I share and further conflagration the issue in all the ways that you would hate the most. Jealousy and revenge is a bitch.

A) I would've replied to anyone regarding my different experience with types when I read general statements. I've nothing agsinst you or what you said. Relax. I quite mean what I say about the NiTes I know being very direct.

B) also what social media are you talking about? And not sure what relationship association you are talking about.... Our types? Feel free to PM to enlighten me.

[Olimpia]

I almost understand the caregiver attitudes and then i date an SLI and cringe. I'm a grown ass woman please do not even try cutting my steak for me i will put you in friend zone so quick...
Also, when people try to court me assertively my response internally "HELPPP"
Lmao yeah the romantic attitudes are very accurate.

This one made me laugh, haha!
My ILE brother always looks like he needed help with cutting his steak, hahaha. Sometimes he even has troubles with just preparing a Sandwich, haha! The Si-seeking is real.

I could see many Aggressors putting the Caretaker into the friendzone first, but I've noticed most (male) Beta Aggressors end up allowing the (female) Caretaker (usually Alpha) to become a romantic partner, because they have been simply persistent and pretty enough, haha. This dynamic is the most common with LSI-Ti guys and ESE women who relentlessly did not leave them alone.
Perhaps Gammas are less prone to giving in like that, because of their Fi valuing?

And yes, I also used to not be able to put into words what it is I am truly looking for, while knowing exactly what it is not, haha.
I'll just quote this:

They know on an almost subliminal level exactly who they are looking for, and anyone who does not fit the bill will be subjected to a rather flakey, hot-cold game of courting tag.

[Olimpia]

The best way for me to illustrate the ni victim attitude is that it feels like constant challenges being thrown at me which is very good. Previously (before Socionics) i did not know or have words for these preferences. It was just a bunch of confusion and me thinking that i was a jerk but i just really don't appreciate the gender roles. I strongly dislike being chased.

As a Victim type, it is good to see some people actually appreciating the "challenge" I make myself to be. Those who don't like it just judge this behaviour as "playing hard to get". But they don't get it. I am not playing; this is real and authentic, I can't be anything else! I am not even consciously thinking to myself: "Okay, I will do this and that just to play hard to get." I do it naturally, unconsciously. I believe this idea of "having to play hard to get" is a realization by non-Victim females, whose crushes were Aggressor males disinterested in someone not "challenging enough" (and likely too Caretaker-ish).

I could see most other Victims relating to this feeling that oneself is the main challenge, and the little challenges in order to "get me" are the steps towards the top. Essentially, those challenging tasks are ways to test the strength and worthiness of the (Se) pursuer.

Now, in regards to male Gamma NTs with female Gamma SFs... Their challenging is much more subtle, than the one employed by female Beta NFs with male Beta STs.
As @hatesyardwork has illustrated, male Gamma Victims show their challenge in being (mostly) unapproachable, and (seemingly) unfazed by most of the things anyone does to "seduce" them. @carrina has nicely described the Aggressor's response to that as this endless "poking". The Gamma Aggressor keeps poking the Gamma Victim. Especially the female SEE will do so, and with the male ILI she'll think all the while: "Why is he not responding like a normal human being, is he dead?! (I have to find out!)" Gamma SFs find great pleasure in "(re-)animating" the Gamma NT. By being physical with the ILI (e.g physical touch), the SEE will try to bring the ILI out of their physical apathy and immobility, first and foremost. Whereas the main goal of the ESI will be to "animate" the LEI's conscience (Fi) through ethical stirring: "Do you really think that way? Don't you have a heart? It's truly immoral, you should know better! This is how it is right..."

So... I could see SEEs, male or female alike, being attracted to people who seem "immovable" and removed from the natural flow of life. Someone who seems very much to be their own microcosm internally (Ni lead). You could say, someone who has an "otherworldliness" about them. (SLEs and LSI-Se are likely to find this intriguing, too.)

The ESI may find a similar despondence attractive as well (esp. when Se subtype), but their main attraction would be to someone who seems to be in need of help with matters of the heart and/or morality. Someone who seems so polished, accomplished, knowledgable, directive (Te lead), but has got that vulnerable soft spot they guard so strongly (weak Fi).

EIIs are drawn to a similar person, given their dual is also Te lead and Fi-seeking. The way the interaction with their Dual, the LSE, plays out is different, though. The EII will attract the LSE by exuding a Childlike disposition, someone in awe of wonders in the world, while being extremely concerned with properly taking care of people/humanity, usually through humanitarian efforts (pseudo-caretaking). The LSE will take on the responsibilities of a practical Caregiver more and more the closer he gets with the EII, thereby removing the stress that has accumulated in the EII. Also, the LSE won't "play games" as much as the LIE will. The LIE is much more more "immovable" like the ILI (Ni/Victim), and by doing so tests the ESI. The LSE may seem "immovable" emotionally because of weak Feeling, but not physically nor erotically – the latter applies much more to the ILI and LIE-Ni. There is no to little "testing" of strength with the LSE; their Dual is not supposed to be "strong" anyhow, having Vulnerable Se. When the LSE is interested, they are more prone to let it be known, whereas it can be a guessing game with the LIE for as long as you have not "convinced" them of your worth yet (Victim mindset). EIIs will be confused by such an attitude and likely experience low self-esteem as a result, whereas ESI will find it intriguing and stimulating, making them want to "prove themselves".

[carrina]

@SisOfNight good response thanks