LSI and not dualizing well--another thread on an often thought about topic.

[Disturbed]

Please comment on thread title. This is kind of entertaining to speculate with... LSI just don't dualize well. It's something that I think needs to be understood well, and what's talked about when using MBTI (where LSI are Thinkers and usually prefer to get as much bluntness and directness in return as they give and as little feeling in return as they give) gets it better.

Of course, it's partly subtype dependent, with the Se subtype being more loyal to logic and less concerned with objective morality and less altruistic (which is what EIE-Ni want them to be; despite EIE-Ni being Betas they tend to demand people be altruistic).

But there is a thing where LSI of both subtypes seem to be the type with very most difficulty with people and responding as each person wants.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's by an EIE-Ni. I'm not different from the MBTI ISTJ and/or LSI stereotypes of often avoiding people, needing peace/inner harmony, space, and time alone, being easily stressed and disturbed, having strong, aggressive sexual urges that are often not based on emotional connection, not really doing well with people, generally being irritated with others' emotions and what I think are errors of fact, too much sympathy or on the other hand deliberately trying to hurt people rather than being fair, reality-based, and balanced, and not really seeing much point in improvement of social skills, but more so technical skills and more independence... no matter what, independence is not something I've given up on. I will probably always be interdependent, maybe moderately independent in the future, but for me, independence is kind of like how Indiana Jones went after the Holy Grail in the Last Crusade... it's not something I can ever give up on so easily and EIE-Ni usually don't like that. I prefer strong independent women, and well, EIE-Ni ladies are not usually strong and independent... even if they're technically skilled/independent, they're seldom marvelous at it and they usually like groups and constant interaction with people.

I think i'm an LSI (although the Ti subtype). I think I'm LSI based on V.I. and one of my mother's brother's behavior, and I've never really got along SUPER well with EIE-Ni, or at least no better than with other types; I prefer to stay with reality and not adapt to peoples' emotions in close range (over the internet I'm a bit more emotionally expressive, in writing... and I like detachedly cuddling with beautiful people... a good cuddle or something that feels good to my body is more likely to gently stimulate me than EIE-Ni emotions) and ILE-Ti and SLE-ti are actually more entertaining anyway. I tend to find EIE-Ni as for the most part useless and I don't like meeting their demands and listening to their assumptions; occasionaly I find them entertaining but not as much as SLE-Ti and ILE-Ti. I really like individualism better (having to work collectively and where everything is out of a common cup has always bothered me), and EIE-Ni often prefer to be concerned about the collective, the group.

Don't get me wrong, I don't absolutely hate EIE, and I can tolerate them to a limit, but I like (other?) logical types better. I just don't like dealing with other peoples' emotions all that much. even though it's sometimes okay, I often hate it. I'm also easily bored. And there just comes times when I would explode at EIE-Ni, even moreso than at other types, and they don't take that well and then I don't want to have deal with it and then it just defeats the purpose of me, if I'm LSI-Ti, being Fe-dual seeking.

Thank you. Sorry. LOL.

[lavos]

Assuming you (and these EIE-Ni's) are typed correctly, this issue does not align with what it's supposed to come out of duality. But then again, it never does?

I myself am annoyed by some ESI-Fi behaviors, even their base function, but perhaps it's normal? Like, their superior dimensions in this element are supposed to bother a dual? Or perhaps bad usage of this element. Either that, or it's a health issue.

[FreelancePoliceman]

How do you like ESEs? I've seen ESE and LSI go after each other a lot, personally.

[Manatroid92]

I don't know anything about your history of being typed on here, but are you 100% certain you're not SLI or even ILI?

As Ti-base, you shouldn't really have to worry about 'dealing' with people's emotions, because given Fe is suggestive for them, they are generally uncritical/less critical of receiving it, especially over time. I don't think having Aspergers would make a difference.

Also these EIEs could just be IEEs. If they really are EIEs and both subtypes are giving you grief, it really sounds like you may have mistyped yourself. Don't rely too much on V.I., it should work as a means of corroborating, not as a one-and-done (especially if the source of the V.I. is from someone who doesn't know what they're talking about).

[Disturbed]

@FreelancePolicemanI find ESE's emotions even worse and more difficult to deal with than EIE's emotions.

@Manatroid92I could be ESI-Fi, but the reason I doubt I am is because of my maternal grandmother's behavior as well as that of one of her sons who had Se as his creative function. I'm sure I'm not SLI or ILI; but if I'm an LSI, and I go by DCNH, then I'm the harmonizing subtype, I simply didn't feel like constantly competing or even working, I never really have even though some people said I loved school, I didn't, I just felt the need to be accurate, I was sometimes competitive, but I preferred to do things myself or usually just preferred to have fun than to win, but I've always been primarily concerned with sensations, comfort. I don't like conflict much... a lot of LSI are like that. So that would make me the harmonizing subtype.

Anyway, I'm sure I didn't mistype the EIEs. If I were to mistype an IEE, then I'm not super likely to mistype them as EIE anyway. And EIE-Ni tended to give me even more trouble than the EIE-Fe.

Betas tend to doubt my type a lot, I'm not sure why that is. If I knew nothing about my maternal grandmother and the son I just mentioned, then I would think I'm an ESI. But the way that son could go for his defense of his property and go against common interpretation of the laws just so he could build his barn and practically the whole town would go after him and he didn't care and he kept on fighting and being convinced that he was right and the fact that his wife was EIE-Ni (she annoyed the fuck out of me) is why I think I'm LSI. My maternal grandfather was EIE-Ni and I hated him. My dad is EIE-Fe but I'm the same type as my mom and her mom. And neither the uncle I just mentioned nor my mom are bothered by strong Fe emotions, they're either insensitive to them or they like them, my mom usually just offers practical services to get my dad out of them.

I have multiple disabilities and I'm almost certain my IQ isn't above average... and that's a source of frustration for me, that Ti is supposed to be working for me, but it isn't.

Also, I think the EIE-Ni who diagnosed me with asperger's did so because I was clumsy. Dyspraxia would've been a better fit as i actually wasn't all that detail oriented and there were some people I was really interested in and really cared to close the psychological/emotional distance with, wanted to be close friends with. the older i get, the less autistic i feel; i have a much more empathic and people-oriented brain and i'm not always comfortable with it, even though i'm somewhat accommodating. i also feel like i have always had borderline traits.

[Squirrel]

@FreelancePolicemanI find ESE's emotions even worse and more difficult to deal with than EIE's emotions.

@Manatroid92I could be ESI-Fi, but the reason I doubt I am is because of my maternal grandmother's behavior as well as that of one of her sons who had Se as his creative function. I'm sure I'm not SLI or ILI; but if I'm an LSI, and I go by DCNH, then I'm the harmonizing subtype, I simply didn't feel like constantly competing or even working, I never really have even though some people said I loved school, I didn't, I just felt the need to be accurate, I was sometimes competitive, but I preferred to do things myself or usually just preferred to have fun than to win, but I've always been primarily concerned with sensations, comfort. I don't like conflict much... a lot of LSI are like that. So that would make me the harmonizing subtype.

Anyway, I'm sure I didn't mistype the EIEs. If I were to mistype an IEE, then I'm not super likely to mistype them as EIE anyway. And EIE-Ni tended to give me even more trouble than the EIE-Fe.

Betas tend to doubt my type a lot, I'm not sure why that is. If I knew nothing about my maternal grandmother and the son I just mentioned, then I would think I'm an ESI. But the way that son could go for his defense of his property and go against common interpretation of the laws just so he could build his barn and practically the whole town would go after him and he didn't care and he kept on fighting and being convinced that he was right and the fact that his wife was EIE-Ni (she annoyed the fuck out of me) is why I think I'm LSI. My maternal grandfather was EIE-Ni and I hated him. My dad is EIE-Fe but I'm the same type as my mom and her mom. And neither the uncle I just mentioned nor my mom are bothered by strong Fe emotions, they're either insensitive to them or they like them, my mom usually just offers practical services to get my dad out of them.

I have multiple disabilities and I'm almost certain my IQ isn't above average... and that's a source of frustration for me, that Ti is supposed to be working for me, but it isn't.

Also, I think the EIE-Ni who diagnosed me with asperger's did so because I was clumsy. Dyspraxia would've been a better fit as i actually wasn't all that detail oriented and there were some people I was really interested in and really cared to close the psychological/emotional distance with, wanted to be close friends with. the older i get, the less autistic i feel; i have a much more empathic and people-oriented brain and i'm not always comfortable with it, even though i'm somewhat accommodating. i also feel like i have always had borderline traits.

I see nothing prevents you to be ESI

ESI ( especially Fi Subtype ) is the least involved in conflict compared to other Se types , just go and read subtype descriptions and you will find that ESIs hate imposing themselves on others

Advice : don't type yourself based on DCNH , find your type first then look for the DCNH Subtype

[Disturbed]

@Missmessy @ everyone else Yes, thank you. I misunderstood what my mom said about my uncle, and my maternal grandmother's average to low level of conflict (until she got alzheimer's) and the fact that she didn't seem good with Ti things was more like that of an ESI-Fi. Based on valued IMs and my weakness in Ti and some behaviors of other Gamma Fi egos I'd say I'm much more likely to be an ESI-Fi. I don't think V.I. is a great way of typing either, it does tend to throw me off for most types... ILE-Ti look and sound a lot more similar to each other, but when looking at LSI, it's not a great way to type them.

Anyway, I made this thread because LSI (especially LSI females) are usually fun enigmas to me and I thought it would also be useful to others to explore LSIs widely reported relationship problems so they can feel better... I see them as so different from myself (and that's more evidence that I'm not LSI) and so, well, beautiful and sexy, like they really get me stirred up in such a good way (even more than their SLE-Ti mirrors and ILE-Ti supervisors). To me, it seems like they're from a totally different world than me, and I've always liked people who were highly different from me. Of course, there are ESI-Fi who are also quite different from me, but not as different from me as I perceive LSI to be from me.

Again, my actual skill with regards to relationships is average as many ESIs can't predict how their relationships are going to go, are still at the mercy of other people, and sometimes have a hard time maintaining them. But my skill in determining what I like and don't like and hate and how attracted I am is much better than I am with logic and I'm better with Te than Ti anyway... and I tend to take everything emotionally/personally and deal with everything in terms of like/dislike and attraction/repulsion. I don't need groups or religion or anything to manage relationships, I never did... I've always managed the psychological distance myself and that was the way I preferred it. Throughout my life, having been attracted to and loving mainly Ti egos particularly the creative function subtypes, I wasn't always successful, but I was successful sometimes.

[EIE H]

What I have learned is that you’re not going to mesh with every dual. It’s usually either you’re going to get along or clash based on maturity level, life experiences. There are some LSIs I want to punch out and others I can’t get enough of their presence.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

ime LSIs get kind of hateful and self-righteous and smug and arrogant like with others until the other person proves themselves a lot in some way- and even then it feels like a constant battle idk. LSis need Demi Lovato to sing 'I don't wanna break your heart, I wanna give your heart a break' to them or something.

They also don't believe in the inherent goodness and innocent of others enough. Yeah it's true we're all evil scum and all that- but sometimes people are just innocent and not 'up to something' like they think- both LSIs and SLIs think this way too much of others and it's silly/annoying/pointless/unhelpful etc. If somebody is actually bad or wrong then correct them, but don't think they are bad or wrong when they are not being bad or wrong and they actually are good - but ur just jealous of this goodness cuz ur not an ethical type.

[EIE H]

ime LSIs get kind of hateful and self-righteous and smug and arrogant like with others until the other person proves themselves a lot in some way- and even then it feels like a constant battle idk. LSis need Demi Lovato to sing 'I don't wanna break your heart, I wanna give your heart a break' to them or something.

They also don't believe in the inherent goodness and innocent of others enough. Yeah it's true we're all evil scum and all that- but sometimes people are just innocent and not 'up to something' like they think- both LSIs and SLIs think this way too much of others and it's silly/annoying/pointless/unhelpful etc. If somebody is actually bad or wrong then correct them, but don't think they are bad or wrong when they are not being bad or wrong and they actually are good - but ur just jealous of this goodness cuz ur not an ethical type.

Man, this is so true and maddening. The minute you are about to give up, they start to soften and kind of chase you. Lol

[Disturbed]

@ShazaamYeah, it seems LSI and SLI are that way, and it's a shame because they're so beautiful and because I usually mean well or at least no harm... most LSI really take the upper hand in relationships or any dealings with people due to their trust issues. I really do believe that people are good in general, I don't usually have issues with trusting other people; unless I'm in a terrible mood or the person has done something terrible, or has an occupation that I think is evil or that I hate, I generally think peoples' intentions are good or neutral. I trust people unless and until they give me a reason not to, but if trust is lost, it's hard for me to trust that person again unless it's someone I absolutely had to have (which is so many people). I've usually valued my personal space and time, and I don't want to give that up so easily; relationships would require that and so I'm selective about who I'd want to and no EIE I've met meets that criteria for marriage for moving in, just not exciting or smart enough for me personally... LIE with compatible values are, ILE-Ti also are, most logical types are often enough for me to want to give up my personal space and time. I tend to see EIE as more self-serving and less accommodating than most types; even if I sharply disagree with LIE, I tend to see them as having purer more accommodating more forgiving hearts, especially the intuitive subtype of LIE compared to the intuitive subtype of EIE. I don't see ILE (either subtype) as very self-serving or if they are then it's understandable; they're simply going by what they need for their well-being like i do. And there are EIE-Ni whom I see as having good intentions, they're just not as common as the ones who are super greedy and domineering. But they're just not all that fun for me to want to date.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

@Disturbed

I thought you were ESI? Or didn't you used to type as that.

well I don't know too many LSIs... I was mainly going by one LSI I know irl, but with my 4D Ni I can usually psychoanalyze a situation pretty accurately without being there.

I was probably being too mean and bitchy and critical, even tho it also made me feel like 'haha I got 'em. I surprise myself at how brilliant I am' etc. one good thing about the LSI is how they valued Fe fairness - but they used a lot of Ti rules 2 try and achieve this fairness.

[pastor andy lee]

[Disturbed]

@ShazaamThank you. Yes, I think I'm ESI-Fi, but I'm generally better at typing others than myself. I seem to value Fi much more than Ti although I see Ti as sometimes important especially when it helps with practical things; and my Ti isn't very good, my Fi is much better (I've always had more trouble with logic than with emotions) and I'm not good with classic Ti things (e.g., chess, philosophy, building structures, physics, math, laws/legislation, creating and following rules, analyzing the fuck out of every detail like with computer programs; I usually just go with what gets me a good result and when I do use Ti it's more for fun, my analysis and understanding of things aren't very original).

LSI are quite common though, I think they're more common than ESI.