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Thread: ESFP-SEE's Romantic/Erotic Behaviour

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    IQ over 150 vesstheastralsilky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    @vesstheastralsilky, I've been meaning to make a gallery of faces for my own edification, but I can't imagine where I would post them on-line.

    Anyway, the shift from ESI to SEE is a gradual one, going from
    ESI-Fi: https://i.imgur.com/1BFkIaY.jpg
    to
    ESI-Se: https://i.imgur.com/Epk3jvX.jpg
    to
    SEE-Fi: https://i.imgur.com/Rb0Ai7N.jpg
    to
    See-Se: https://i.imgur.com/whSdbVl.png

    All of these women have different enneatypes, but you can see the Se and the extroversion ramp up.

    Ok, I don't know about the others but I can definitely see myself not getting along well with the last one. She reminds me of my sister I was typing ESI but never had her take a type test.
    ~* astralsilky



    Each essence is a separate glass,
    Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
    Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
    A thousand colors, but the Light is One.

    Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet


    Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by vesstheastralsilky View Post
    Ok, I don't know about the others but I can definitely see myself not getting along well with the last one. She reminds me of my sister I was typing ESI but never had her take a type test.
    The last one is Azealia Banks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Jv9fNPjgk

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    I'm still flirting with the SEE at lunch on Fridays, but something bad is happening.

    I originally approached her because I thought she might be ESI. She is tall, thin, and l like her face. But in my initial onslaught of getting to know her, I quickly realized that she is SEE, at which point I thought, "OK, she's nice and fun to talk with, but she's basically off-limits because she's not a dual." So, my approach since then has been to go and see her (I'm starved for Gamma Fi), but with the clear (personal) understanding that we will never get serious and anything closer than "Hi, how are you doing?" is impossible.

    This, however, seems to be exactly what she's looking for.

    Before lunch, I found myself looking forward to talking with her, because I had unconsciously moved from seeing her as an objective to seeing her as a supportive friend.
    At lunch, she came out from behind the counter (it was slow that day) and we talked about sports, her Art classes, how her face quickly recovered from surgery, how I used to run track, how her body is less that of an athlete and more of a dancer's, and I was feeling good about all this. No pressure, just friends.
    Then she gave me this weird, kind of wide-eyed practical look and turned to her boss and announced "I'm hungry. I want to eat something."

    And I thought to myself, I'm not sure that this is going the way I had planned.

  4. #124
    IQ over 150 vesstheastralsilky's Avatar
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    SEEs take sexual initiative, and actively engage in behaviors that are impulsive, risk-taking, and without much fuss about the quality of environmental conditions for comfort.

    "Wham, baam, thank you ma'am" is their style.
    ~* astralsilky



    Each essence is a separate glass,
    Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
    Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
    A thousand colors, but the Light is One.

    Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet


    Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by vesstheastralsilky View Post
    SEEs take sexual initiative, and actively engage in behaviors that are impulsive, risk-taking, and without much fuss about the quality of environmental conditions for comfort.

    "Wham, baam, thank you ma'am" is their style.
    That's BS not inline with reality, unless the goal of your typology is to conveniently class folks one doesn't like into an undesirable category - assuming it's a feature of the personality as opposed to some defect.

    There's an important level of EQ necessary to adjudicate this.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Soupman View Post
    That's BS not inline with reality, unless the goal of your typology is to conveniently class folks one doesn't like into an undesirable category - assuming it's a feature of the personality as opposed to some defect.

    There's an important level of EQ necessary to adjudicate this.
    I was speaking from much real life experience. It was also comparative with my own style standards and preferences and those of others.
    ~* astralsilky



    Each essence is a separate glass,
    Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
    Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
    A thousand colors, but the Light is One.

    Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet


    Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    The last one is Azealia Banks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3Jv9fNPjgk
    Who are the others? I don't see Se in those pix.
    ~* astralsilky



    Each essence is a separate glass,
    Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
    Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
    A thousand colors, but the Light is One.

    Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet


    Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...

  8. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by vesstheastralsilky View Post
    Who are the others? I don't see Se in those pix.
    The first one is Thora Birch. The second and third pics are random internet pictures.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I'm still flirting with the SEE at lunch on Fridays, but something bad is happening.

    I originally approached her because I thought she might be ESI. She is tall, thin, and l like her face. But in my initial onslaught of getting to know her, I quickly realized that she is SEE, at which point I thought, "OK, she's nice and fun to talk with, but she's basically off-limits because she's not a dual." So, my approach since then has been to go and see her (I'm starved for Gamma Fi), but with the clear (personal) understanding that we will never get serious and anything closer than "Hi, how are you doing?" is impossible.

    This, however, seems to be exactly what she's looking for.

    Before lunch, I found myself looking forward to talking with her, because I had unconsciously moved from seeing her as an objective to seeing her as a supportive friend.
    At lunch, she came out from behind the counter (it was slow that day) and we talked about sports, her Art classes, how her face quickly recovered from surgery, how I used to run track, how her body is less that of an athlete and more of a dancer's, and I was feeling good about all this. No pressure, just friends.
    Then she gave me this weird, kind of wide-eyed practical look and turned to her boss and announced "I'm hungry. I want to eat something."

    And I thought to myself, I'm not sure that this is going the way I had planned.
    You have turned duality into the holy grail. With this attitude I have no doubt you use this as an excuse to not get close to someone. In the end if you do finally meet someone you click with you will type them a dual whether they are or not. The alternative is you will spend the rest of your life alone in search of the holy grail. Either paths are fine but seriously these kinds of posts are so repetitive. Same situation, different person, always the same, "not my dual". Perhaps you are more gun shy than you care to admit.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    You have turned duality into the holy grail. With this attitude I have no doubt you use this as an excuse to not get close to someone. In the end if you do finally meet someone you click with you will type them a dual whether they are or not. The alternative is you will spend the rest of your life alone in search of the holy grail. Either paths are fine but seriously these kinds of posts are so repetitive. Same situation, different person, always the same, "not my dual". Perhaps you are more gun shy than you care to admit.
    I wonder about that myself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I wonder about that myself.
    It is worth considering. I wouldn't blame you for being gun shy.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by Soupman View Post
    That's BS not inline with reality, unless the goal of your typology is to conveniently class folks one doesn't like into an undesirable category - assuming it's a feature of the personality as opposed to some defect.

    There's an important level of EQ necessary to adjudicate this.
    Out of curiosity what is wrong with what she said in regards to not fussing about the quality of the environmental conditions for comfort? What she said is also in line with how I view SEE, so I am curious about the discrepancy and how to understand it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Finaplex View Post
    Out of curiosity what is wrong with what she said in regards to not fussing about the quality of the environmental conditions for comfort? What she said is also in line with how I view SEE, so I am curious about the discrepancy and how to understand it.
    Because for anyone with a high or decent EQ for that matter, it is rational to be aware of the environmental conditions for comfort given that people are heavily influenced by the state of their well-being. People in a state of comfort are more easily influenced and open themselves to be influenced - volitional influence is easier onto a receptive environment.

    Furthermore being sensorics types they are more objectively aware of the present; therein aware of physical conditions. So coupled with their desire to influence/manipulate relations with others, it easier for them to capitulate unwelcome opposition preemptively with tact - focus on how comfortable others are.

    Nevertheless to contradict my own point, I cede and accept that hostility and indifference could also be exercised if deemed to be appropriate in a befitting case in point.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    You have turned duality into the holy grail. With this attitude I have no doubt you use this as an excuse to not get close to someone. In the end if you do finally meet someone you click with you will type them a dual whether they are or not. The alternative is you will spend the rest of your life alone in search of the holy grail. Either paths are fine but seriously these kinds of posts are so repetitive. Same situation, different person, always the same, "not my dual". Perhaps you are more gun shy than you care to admit.
    I have conflicting emotions because I simultaneous agree and disagree with exactly what you say, which makes no sense on my part even to myself, but at least I'll tell you guys.

    *On one hand, getting close to someone is something I find inevitably easy, given that evolution is always working against us through fooling us to easily fall in love with a person (providing they meet our superficial criteria and heuristics). We have a natural tendency to easily fall for the idea, the fantasy, of the person we conjure up as opposed to their reality. After several months (if being lucky) or three years maximum, the reality of the person we loved becomes apparent and unfortunately we get to learn that we've wasted with the person we were with. It's super annoying to learn that you had fallen in love with a fantasy.

    *Yet I'm also aware that there's no perfect person out there, people come with their issues - some issues are more readily apparent than others. So quintessentially it's a matter of choosing the best among-st one's options.

    *Nevertheless, I find the principle of "duality" fascinating; I do mean duality as a concept as opposed to pigeon-holing myself to what becomes nonsense taking socionics 8 dual pairs to heart. I have what I've come to see as complementary personality opposites and similarities illuminated via the concept. There are personalities I'm actually on the look out for, and I've actually experienced these personalities before never quite understanding the way they made me feel in retrospect but I do now. The more I've understood my own nature, the better, I've gotten at understanding others with complementary traits.

    I sort of believe in duality.

    However, I have also learnt to not delude myself in judging someone to be my dual on the basis that I like them and instead focus more on looking at substantiated traits I personally know are complementary.

    //Lost my thought process in this meandering oh well, hope that has helped others

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    "I quickly realized that she is SEE, at which point I thought, "OK, she's nice and fun to talk with, but she's basically off-limits because she's not a dual." "

    Wow really? I would never use socionics in that way. I've had positive (non-romantic) relationships even with Gammas. @Adam Strange

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    "I quickly realized that she is SEE, at which point I thought, "OK, she's nice and fun to talk with, but she's basically off-limits because she's not a dual." "

    Wow really? I would never use socionics in that way. I've had positive (non-romantic) relationships even with Gammas. @Adam Strange
    That sounds great, @thehotelambush. How are those relationships doing?

    *EDIT*
    Sarcasm aside, the SEE is off-limits romantically, but it's open season on friendship. I actually like her a lot. I might ask her out, just to explore the realm of Activity relations. But I'm not going to sleep with her, no matter how hungry she gets. (I hope that is the case, anyway, but I'm not made of stone.) I intend for this to be a Buddy movie, if it is anything.

    And yes, I've had positive (non-romantic) relationships with Alphas (mostly LII's). They can be great people. I'm just not going to marry one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    That sounds great, @thehotelambush. How are those relationships doing?
    Some of them ended, others are still doing fine. My sister is Gamma and we've gotten closer over the years.

    *EDIT*
    Sarcasm aside, the SEE is off-limits romantically, but it's open season on friendship. I actually like her a lot. I might ask her out, just to explore the realm of Activity relations. But I'm not going to sleep with her, no matter how hungry she gets. (I hope that is the case, anyway, but I'm not made of stone.) I intend for this to be a Buddy movie, if it is anything.

    And yes, I've had positive (non-romantic) relationships with Alphas. They can be great people. I'm just not going to marry one.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Some of them ended, others are still doing fine. My sister is Gamma and we've gotten closer over the years.

    My relationship with my Alpha sister is also good. Probably the best one I have with any family member.
    I still say my sister is LII. My earlier description of her might not have been a good picture of her when she's operating more normally.
    One of her husbands was a tall, great looking guy in the Coast Guard. (She prefers tall, good-looking men. Another BF was a pilot, another was a lineman for the Electric company. She likes physical, emotionally expressive guys.) The Coast Guard guy made great money and lived near Washington, DC, but he was always broke. When they married, she put him on a budget and in two years, they were free of debt. She has a very good head for numbers and is very self-disciplined. Unfortunately, the same week they got out of debt, he went out and charged about $12k of computer equipment to his credit card, and she moved out that same day and filed for divorce.
    I'm thinking that that might be the behavior you'd expect from an LII who is tuned to dealing with ESE's.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    That sounds great, @thehotelambush. How are those relationships doing?

    *EDIT*
    Sarcasm aside, the SEE is off-limits romantically, but it's open season on friendship. I actually like her a lot. I might ask her out, just to explore the realm of Activity relations. But I'm not going to sleep with her, no matter how hungry she gets. (I hope that is the case, anyway, but I'm not made of stone.) I intend for this to be a Buddy movie, if it is anything.

    And yes, I've had positive (non-romantic) relationships with Alphas (mostly LII's). They can be great people. I'm just not going to marry one.
    adam holding his virginity like a king

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    The SEE (whom I'm flirting with) is off-limits romantically, but it's open season on friendship. I actually like her a lot. I might ask her out, just to explore the realm of Activity relations. But I'm not going to sleep with her, no matter how hungry she gets. (I hope that is the case, anyway, but I'm not made of stone.) I intend for this to be a Buddy movie, if it is anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    adam holding his virginity like a king
    Lol, @Number 9 large. I was thinking about this very thing this morning.

    The problem, as I see it, isn't that I can't have fun with non-duals, or learn something about myself or them or some completely random thing while partnering with them. The problem is that it is just like every other non-optimal activity. You can spend your time eating roadkill and you'd find out a bunch of things about eating roadkill, or you could spend your time in manual labor jobs (they have their attractions, I can tell you) instead of owning the company or going into academia, but none of these things necessarily lets you be the best person you can be.

    My brushes with duality suggest that it is pretty sweet with minimal downsides, and I want that.

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