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Thread: Extroverted Intuition Ne = Second guessing and doubts?

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    Default Extroverted Intuition Ne = Second guessing and doubts?

    I wonder if it's just me or if it's common for Ne egos to often feel doubtful and to second guess their decisions?


    I have a trouble making decisions and usually I avoid making them unless I am really pushed by some external pressure either coming from other people or extreme circumstances. Whenever I finally make a decision I immediately begin to doubt if it was really the right thing to do and I get totally lost in imagining how would other choices look like, what could happen if..., what could be if..., what should've done differently, why should have done it differently, etc... I do this even if the decision I've made seems "right" it's just frustrating for me to know that I rejected other options and I can never know what would happen if...


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    I know one (1) IEE who does ask a lot of questions about "How to do this? But what if that? Will that lead to?" Another (I think) IEE doesn't do that, but is significantly less annoyed by the first IEE's questions than I.

    I like to think that some choices just don't matter enough to be that deeply considered. Who cares what sandwich you had today? If it's a complete disaster you can eat something else now, or choose another sandwich next time. There is such a thing as 'good enough'.

    Conclusion: I'd claim it's existential and/or enneagram-related.
    Reason is a whore.

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    That's lack of Se +Te, decisions are about force + taking action. Ne can very well select what is best to do, other options only pop up when the best choice is lacking in some way.

    My personal input: I find decisions easy. I see what has the best potential (Ne), what relates well to me or others (Fi), what to do (Te). I only have problems with follow-through.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    That's lack of Se +Te, decisions are about force + taking action. Ne can very well select what is best to do, other options only pop up when the best choice is lacking in some way.

    My personal input: I find decisions easy. I see what has the best potential (Ne), what relates well to me or others (Fi), what to do (Te). I only have problems with follow-through.
    But don't you have a fear of missing out? Whenever I make a decision I fear that I miss out other woderful things, decisions are just so limiting to me.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay View Post
    But don't you have a fear of missing out? Whenever I make a decision I fear that I miss out other wonderful things, decisions are just so limiting to me.
    Only moderately. I trust my decisions to lead to a good result, opening even better possible options like a domino effect - that's not limiting. And I ain't enneagram 7

    My reasoning behind that: if there are other wonderful things - there always are - I can do them later or forget about them. The most memorable, impressive option is the one. Imagined wonderful things in my head are there but as I decide, I keep a realistic mindset instead of seeing paradise everywhere that I could miss out on. Decisions advance me and introduce novelty, change is good!

    It works like this: "When I decide this, that and that and that could happen. That's good for me. Sounds promising, go!". And boom, the decision is made, I move on. It's the chase that's exciting and it gives me a feeling of achievement.

    TL;DR: Too busy with my own lawn to check out if the grass is greener everywhere else

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay View Post
    I have a trouble making decisions and usually I avoid making them unless I am really pushed by some external pressure either coming from other people or extreme circumstances. Whenever I finally make a decision I immediately begin to doubt if it was really the right thing to do and I get totally lost in imagining how would other choices look like, what could happen if..., what could be if..., what should've done differently, why should have done it differently, etc... I do this even if the decision I've made seems "right" it's just frustrating for me to know that I rejected other options and I can never know what would happen if...
    That seems more like Ni to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay View Post
    I wonder if it's just me or if it's common for Ne egos to often feel doubtful and to second guess their decisions?


    I have a trouble making decisions and usually I avoid making them unless I am really pushed by some external pressure either coming from other people or extreme circumstances. Whenever I finally make a decision I immediately begin to doubt if it was really the right thing to do and I get totally lost in imagining how would other choices look like, what could happen if..., what could be if..., what should've done differently, why should have done it differently, etc... I do this even if the decision I've made seems "right" it's just frustrating for me to know that I rejected other options and I can never know what would happen if...
    Yes this is more about strength in Ni. High Ni (reflection and doubt) means low Se (confidence, action).

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    @Singularity @thehotelambushShouldn't Ni be more about predicting the future happenings? In order to make a prediction one has to reject other options of how a situation can develop. Also isn't Ni more focused than Ne? Ni seeing one ending, one cosnequence and one posibility instead of seeing many of them?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay View Post
    @Singularity @thehotelambushShouldn't Ni be more about predicting the future happenings? In order to make a prediction one has to reject other options of how a situation can develop. Also isn't Ni more focused than Ne? Ni seeing one ending, one cosnequence and one posibility instead of seeing many of them?
    You're considering other options, but you're still concerned with cause-and-effect, like "This would have happened if this happened, and this would have happened if that happened".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay View Post
    @Singularity @thehotelambushShouldn't Ni be more about predicting the future happenings? In order to make a prediction one has to reject other options of how a situation can develop. Also isn't Ni more focused than Ne? Ni seeing one ending, one cosnequence and one posibility instead of seeing many of them?
    I think I answered this question on WSS already (not sure if it was you).

    "Ni is not always "singularly focused." It can also be sort of wandering and complex. When you elaborate imagined scenarios in a way that doesn't draw on real-world data, and it comes completely from the imagination, that's Ni, not Ne. This is what people use to write stories."

    This is typical of IEIs.

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    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    I think I answered this question on WSS already (not sure if it was you).

    "Ni is not always "singularly focused." It can also be sort of wandering and complex. When you elaborate imagined scenarios in a way that doesn't draw on real-world data, and it comes completely from the imagination, that's Ni, not Ne. This is what people use to write stories."

    This is typical of IEIs.
    I don't post in WSS so it certainly wasn't me.

    I also wasn't talking about imaginary scenarios that are not based on real-world data. I was addressing more to scenarios of life choices such as...which university is the right one? If I choose this one will I regret not choosing the other one? What would have happened if I chose the other one over this one? Would I be happier? What would have happened if I chose that guy over this one? How would our relationship seem? What would have happened if I chose to work for this company over that one?
    Just the usual choices people have to make in every-day life.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Fay View Post
    I don't post in WSS so it certainly wasn't me.

    I also wasn't talking about imaginary scenarios that are not based on real-world data. I was addressing more to scenarios of life choices such as...which university is the right one? If I choose this one will I regret not choosing the other one? What would have happened if I chose the other one over this one? Would I be happier? What would have happened if I chose that guy over this one? How would our relationship seem? What would have happened if I chose to work for this company over that one?
    Just the usual choices people have to make in every-day life.
    Yes that would be some combination of Ne and Ni probably. But if the thinking gets to "I made a mistake" then that's more purely Ni.
    Last edited by Exodus; 01-28-2017 at 08:16 PM.

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    i'd say Ne is more like, wanting This and also wanting That, and why not go ahead with both even though they'd exclude each other? am I on to something.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Delilah View Post
    i'd say Ne is more like, wanting This and also wanting That, and why not go ahead with both even though they'd exclude each other? am I on to something.
    I think yes... Ne is probably like "I want this... I want that... wait... if I combine them... then I can have BOTH! Genius".

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    I find that INXjs are often doubtful and second guess their decisions because they're hypersensitive to consequence and tend to be idealists and perfectionists in their planning processes. Now ENXps have the same awareness but planning is not their highest priority so they don't suffer from this constipation; they tend to make quick decisions to get them off their plate. Ne by itself is not the cause.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    @Fay
    EII are in the 'Cause-Effect Thinking' group (with NeTi, TiSe, and SeFi).
    NeFi are in the 'Holographic-Panoramic Thinking' group (with FiSe, SeTi, and TiNe).
    Some of what you are talking about could be related to that.

    EII also have Ni demonstrative, which is stronger than their Ne, but not (typically) 'conscious'.
    I can see possible manifestations of Ni helping them initially feel sure about a decision, but then when they go to act on it suddenly feel swamped by other possibilities they could still choose from (or could have chosen from).
    (For myself, I'm not only seeing other options or approaches, but when I'm about to make a decision, I flip my POV on it, and see the cons against it. I can be so racked by indecision that there comes a point where I just have to 'hold my breath and dive in'. I think this is one way that IEE are tactical, yet EII are strategic.)

    Another possibility is a relation to e6. (For myself, what I described could also be related to e6w7.)

    And then there's the psychological phenomenon known as FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). It's typically described in terms of social media usage, but I believe the underlying factors would extend FOMO out to other aspects of life. Especially when making major decisions, as you are deciding what experiences you might have. Example, the experiences and understandings you'd have pursuing a teaching degree will differ from what you would get from a psychology degree which is different from what you'd get as a NASA technician. Differences in locations you choos to live in would influence your cultural experiences, as well as weather related experiences (cold north leads to differing experiences than warmer south; earthquakes vs tornados, etc), and even political influences between a primarily blue region vs a primarily red region.

    And looking at one's present circumstances and how they may have come to be, one can see how major decisions in the past affected one's life, and how having made different choices could have led you somewhere other than where you currently are. These considerations can cause decision paralysis.

    And finally, it's rather well known in psychology that there is such a thing as too many options, and that the more options there are, the more difficult it is to decide from amongst them.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    @Fay
    EII are in the 'Cause-Effect Thinking' group (with NeTi, TiSe, and SeFi).
    NeFi are in the 'Holographic-Panoramic Thinking' group (with FiSe, SeTi, and TiNe).
    Some of what you are talking about could be related to that.

    EII also have Ni demonstrative, which is stronger than their Ne, but not (typically) 'conscious'.
    I can see possible manifestations of Ni helping them initially feel sure about a decision, but then when they go to act on it suddenly feel swamped by other possibilities they could still choose from (or could have chosen from).
    (For myself, I'm not only seeing other options or approaches, but when I'm about to make a decision, I flip my POV on it, and see the cons against it. I can be so racked by indecision that there comes a point where I just have to 'hold my breath and dive in'. I think this is one way that IEE are tactical, yet EII are strategic.)

    Another possibility is a relation to e6. (For myself, what I described could also be related to e6w7.)

    And then there's the psychological phenomenon known as FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). It's typically described in terms of social media usage, but I believe the underlying factors would extend FOMO out to other aspects of life. Especially when making major decisions, as you are deciding what experiences you might have. Example, the experiences and understandings you'd have pursuing a teaching degree will differ from what you would get from a psychology degree which is different from what you'd get as a NASA technician. Differences in locations you choos to live in would influence your cultural experiences, as well as weather related experiences (cold north leads to differing experiences than warmer south; earthquakes vs tornados, etc), and even political influences between a primarily blue region vs a primarily red region.

    And looking at one's present circumstances and how they may have come to be, one can see how major decisions in the past affected one's life, and how having made different choices could have led you somewhere other than where you currently are. These considerations can cause decision paralysis.

    And finally, it's rather well known in psychology that there is such a thing as too many options, and that the more options there are, the more difficult it is to decide from amongst them.
    What you said makes a lot of sense. I also noticed that we're the same enneagram tritype, I wonder if that's also the reason why I relate to what you said a lot.


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    All depends on what I'm deciding on.

    My IEE friend does say that decision making is my disease lol

    I can forcast in long term what has great potential for a specific person thereby being able to read them and their desires as well as capabilities intuitively. I can also mentor them, motivate them to keep going. My support usually comes from being patient
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    469 probably is often a doubting combo, especially if p6, not cp.

    I think Ne's relation to possibilities might be playing out with a particular flavor given your enneagram. I personally wouldn't say I'm a doubting type, though I do something similar to it; I do race through even seemingly crazy, fantastical possibilities while exploring something to be sure about it, but I'd not characterize this as doubting my decisions. I don't experience a tremendous amount of doubt, I mean, it's more like I may not know how to figure something out, but I'm usually pretty sure whether I have figured it out or not.
    My struggle is more a frustration with being forced to act when it seems unreasonable and kind of crude to act at all, given it would simply be better to wait until there's no room for doubt. But it's not like I have much doubt when that happened that it has happened. And, BTW, this doesn't mean I don't realize that there may be a grand realization later which recasts all I know in a new, superior light. That happens from time to time. But, one has to proceed in bite-sized chunks, and I usually know what a fair terminus is to my given thought process....maybe it'll even lay the issue at rest forever, but at least for the conceivable future.

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