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Thread: INFp men / IEI males and being submissive in romantic relationships

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    Question INFp men / IEI males and being submissive in romantic relationships

    Is it common for IEI males to be submissive to their romantic partners? I am one and I have not been in a relationship once and if I were in a relationship, I would be submissive to my girlfriend/wife/etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Austin Narrative View Post
    Is it common for IEI males to be submissive to their romantic partners? I am one and I have not been in a relationship once and if I were in a relationship, I would be submissive to my girlfriend/wife/etc.
    I don't think "submissive" is the right term. Socionics states that some types are "Victims", in the sense that their natural partners are "Aggressors" the way that tigers and deer interact as Aggressor and Victim, if deer actually liked to be killed and eaten. In other words, Aggressors are sure of their interest and Victims decide whether to allow themselves to be conquered. Or if they prefer to run away.

    In the SLE-IEI duality, from what I've seen and heard, the SLE's just want to have sex with the IEI's and then go off and get drunk and listen to metal. The IEI's seem to want someone who is both strong and whom they can out-maneuver, if they wish.

    Some of this maneuvering could be seen as being manipulative by others outside that duality. IEI's can be very caring and supportive and they usually are extremely good with people, while SLE's struggle with all of those things. Withdrawal of their support is the ultimate IEI weapon, and is seen as betrayal or abandonment by the SLE's. IEI's can also direct some pretty wicked criticism towards others, if they wish to, IMO.

    I would not call IEI's exactly submissive, since they usually get what they want.

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    I would classify victims into 2 category:

    Result victims aka IEI and LIE: crying bitches
    Process victims aka EIE and ILI: masochists

    [
    and just to be fair same for childlikes:
    Result childlikes aka LII and IEE: needy babies
    Process childlikes aka ILE and EII: bizarre trolls
    ]
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    I'm a straight male, likely IEI, and no - I wouldn't say I'm mostly submissive. Somewhere in between more like it. In fact, I haven't really reflected on it until people mentioned it. I guess I tend to see me and my partner more as equals, like we are differently submissive/dominant depending on the matter at hand. 50/50. Sexually I'm more dominant than submissive, but that seems to be more due to the nature of things. IEIs are good at taking emotional initiative (but bad at taking practical initiative), so in that regard it would be wrong to call them submissive.

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    My bf is IEI and he's not submissive. For the sake of atmosphere or mood he falls quickly into that "you're the boss" kind of thing - and maybe he convinces himself temporarily - but in reality, while he's understanding of loved ones and not a take-charge type, he's pretty confident about his preferences, lets them be known, and is pretty solid about following his own (sometimes idiosyncratic) path and not outside orders.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Heretic 007 View Post
    I would classify victims into 2 category:

    Result victims aka IEI and LIE: crying bitches
    Process victims aka EIE and ILI: masochists

    [
    and just to be fair same for childlikes:
    Result childlikes aka LII and IEE: needy babies
    Process childlikes aka ILE and EII: bizarre trolls
    ]
    best post ever. Please do the caregivers too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Austin Narrative View Post
    Is it common for IEI males to be submissive to their romantic partners? I am one and I have not been in a relationship once and if I were in a relationship, I would be submissive to my girlfriend/wife/etc.
    If the female is Se they are likely to be submissive if she's not they are likely to behave like spoiled brats (this is more or less the same with females too). IME ofc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ragdoll Lynx View Post
    best post ever. Please do the caregivers too.
    Result caregivers aka ESE and SLI: exemplary figureheads
    Process caregivers aka SEI and LSE: upbeat organizers

    Result aggressors aka SLE and ESI: meat load coming through
    Process aggressors aka LSI and SEE: Wham Bam Thank You Mam
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    IEIs (like all Ips) tend to be defensive, not submissive. They do seem to admire knight-like boldness and confidence in people, and often pursue public images but become disappointed with the real person. They tend to prefer mates who'll conquer the countryside and make them feel proud while they hold down the fort. IEIs voluntarily allow people into their world but rarely submit to conquest. I can see IEIs willingly doing things for their partners but never kowtowing. All types will be submissive if they're desperate with broken wills......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    IEI males are like princesses who want to try taking a shot at daddy's throne and directing his armies around, leading to utter hell and confusion breaking loose. They won't submit or bow down often but they are 1000% crying bitches as @Heretic 007 said. IEI females are similar, but since they're female it seems all pro-feminist and cool almost.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    IEI males are like princesses who want to try taking a shot at daddy's throne and directing his armies around, leading to utter hell and confusion breaking loose. They won't submit or bow down often but they are 1000% crying bitches as @Heretic 007 said. IEI females are similar, but since they're female it seems all pro-feminist and cool almost.
    That's some serious projection

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    That's some serious projection
    If you think it's projection then why type IEI LOL. Because that's the common consensus of what IEI males are like. Socionics is a system that calls them "victims", which is not far from "crying bitches", like what you're being right now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    If you think it's projection then why type IEI LOL. Because that's the common consensus of what IEI males are like. Socionics is a system that calls them "victims", which is not far from "crying bitches", like what you're being right now.
    I suppose you don't know that a) Reinin dichotomies are bs, and/or that b) the names of the dichotomies are not to be understood literally. Your personal experiences with any given type does not change that. But I'm not interested in having these Cluster B-level conversations with you, so I'd just advise you to seek help. See ya!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    I suppose you don't know that a) Reinin dichotomies are bs, and/or that b) the names of the dichotomies are not to be understood literally. Your personal experiences with any given type does not change that. But I'm not interested in having these Cluster B-level conversations with you, so I'd just advise you to seek help. See ya!
    "Seek help." Words of wisdom. You should listen. You do know that when you call someone "projecting", they should be obviously displaying the behaviors that they are projecting in some way, otherwise it just looks like you're randomly lashing out at what you don't like or what you're too dumb to rationally defend against, you dumb bitch.

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    PS @Armalite Do you know what a dichotomy is? Romance styles aren't dichotomies, you fucktard. You just owned yourself, like a typical victim NF dimwit.

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    It's probably more useful to look at the premise than just looking at the results.

    Some people may be submissive for whatever the reason, and therefore they might act submissively in relationships. Of course, that could change. Some people may be 99% submissive, some people might be 50%, some 30%.

    The fact is that this "submissiveness" and submissive behavior could go in any possible direction, because the future isn't determined yet. Or the future contains all of those possibilities, and not just one result. If we only look at the result, then we can only expect the exact same result to happen again, which is not true prediction. Let alone that even solves the problem of why people are submissive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    PS @Armalite Do you know what a dichotomy is? Romance styles aren't dichotomies, you fucktard. You just owned yourself, like a typical victim NF dimwit.
    My point still stands though. As I said, not interested in having these low-level conversations with you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    My point still stands though.
    Nope. You're too fucking dumb to prove it as well. You think I don't get tired of your low IQ? You're right, I don't, because it's fucking hilarious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    PS @Armalite Do you know what a dichotomy is? Romance styles aren't dichotomies, you fucktard. You just owned yourself, like a typical victim NF dimwit.
    And the gauntlet has been thrown down! Dual duel!

    Lol. Somewhere in this girl's past, she had to fight pretty hard to survive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    And the gauntlet has been thrown down! Dual duel!

    Lol. Somewhere in this girl's past, she had to fight pretty hard to survive.
    You have no idea how glad I am that my vagina is 1000s of kilometers away from this retard who doesn't know what a dichotomy is.

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    Yeah... I cannot be with a traditional woman. I don't want a servant, I'd rather be anally penetrated by rocks than fuck a submissive girl.

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    Vagina? You mean, if he knew what a dichotomy was, there'd be hope?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chryssie View Post
    Yeah... I cannot be with a traditional woman. I don't want a servant, I'd rather be anally penetrated by rocks than fuck a submissive girl.
    If you dated an SLE, you could have both.

    (Have a non-traditional woman, I mean.)

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    I can sniff the love

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    Vagina? You mean, if he knew what a dichotomy was, there'd be hope?
    Well, more than zero I guess. It's said we need to develop the HA enough to be able to communicate and relate well enough with the dual. Can't remember where. Can't believe that there are some total idiots out there that make IEIs like Singu look like a God. PS I have an IEI coworker now who's kind of like you @Singu . I have been having to work with him a lot and I can accept you more too now by extension. Being Ti-ful and intellectual needs to be preceded by the desire to be more intellectual, unlike the fucktard above there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Well, more than zero I guess. It's said we need to develop the HA enough to be able to communicate and relate well enough with the dual. Can't remember where. Can't believe that there are some total idiots out there that make IEIs like Singu look like a God. PS I have an IEI coworker now who's kind of like you @Singu . I have been having to work with him a lot and I can accept you more too now by extension. Being Ti-ful and intellectual needs to be preceded by the desire to be more intellectual, unlike the fucktard above there.
    Singu is IEI? Whoah. Would've sworn he was ILE--lots of Ti and he doesn't strike me as a clear Te PoLR. IEIs with well defined T are always a treat--they can move mountains. Good on him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alonzo View Post
    Singu is IEI? Whoah. Would've sworn he was ILE--lots of Ti and he doesn't strike me as a clear Te PoLR. IEIs with well defined T are always a treat--they can move mountains. Good on him.
    Do you hear that? You're a snack @Singu .

    He self-typed IEI before he turned into a dingus here for a while, but seems a little bit less annoying recently. Maybe he got a gf.

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    Singu is a girl btw

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    Singu's a straight guy lmao.

    If he 'identifies' as something else now though, idk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Nope. You're too fucking dumb to prove it as well. You think I don't get tired of your low IQ? You're right, I don't, because it's fucking hilarious.
    My point still stands yes, as the names of the romance styles are not to be taken literally. 'Victims' are not literal victims, and so on. That's very much the same for dichotomies, a 'Merry' type is not literally merry as we otherwise understand the word (as evidenced by you). It seems to me like you've possibly had a bad relationship with an IEI male and then project your feelings about him onto IEI males as a whole... But what do I know.

    And by the way, please keep your vagina out of this conversation - I'm trying to eat.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Singu's a straight guy lmao.

    If he 'identifies' as something else now though, idk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    My point still stands yes, as the names of the romance styles are not to be taken literally. 'Victims' are not literal victims, and so on. That's very much the same for dichotomies, a 'Merry' type is not literally merry as we otherwise understand the word (as evidenced by you). It seems to me like you've possibly had a bad relationship with an IEI male and then project your feelings about him onto IEI males as a whole... But what do I know.

    And by the way, please keep your vagina out of this conversation - I'm trying to eat.
    Are you eating fish scented porridge right now? Mate. Spoon it up

    Your point does not stand because you are comparing romance styles to dichotomies when they are not. Some dimspired unmental process must've made you make that fatal error. You alone don't get to cherry pick and decide what of socionics is to be taken literally and the extent to which it is.

    You're projecting your idiotic emotions onto my way of expressing myself. I don't think IEI males suck as a whole. Just some. I've had some iffy experiences with IEI males, but they were always at the very least, entertaining.

    "What do I know" indeed... so just shut the fuck up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    Are you eating fish scented porridge right now? Mate. Spoon it up

    Your point does not stand because you are comparing romance styles to dichotomies when they are not. Some dimspired unmental process must've made you make that fatal error. You alone don't get to cherry pick and decide what of socionics is to be taken literally and the extent to which it is.

    You're projecting your idiotic emotions onto my way of expressing myself. I don't think IEI males suck as a whole. Just some. I've had some iffy experiences with IEI males, but they were always at the very least, entertaining.

    "What do I know" indeed... so just shut the fuck up.
    No, I'm not comparing romance styles to dichotomies. I'm just saying that the names are not to be taken as literally as you seem to take them. I'm obviously not the one who gets to decide what's to be taken literally or not, but the classical description of "Victim" for instance does not mention anywhere that they are actual victims the way you present it. I think you're the one who's misunderstanding me actually. And no, I'm not projecting my emotions onto your way of expressing yourself, as I recognise that we are all individuals and don't feel a need to judge a given type due to negative (or positive) personal experiences with them.

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    my IEI bestie is far from a crybaby and more close to a jerkish peterpan, he's also Gemini tho, not a very emotional thing

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    @Armalite You LITERALLY SAID "That's very much the same for dichotomies" in your post before. Available for everyone to see your dimwittery. Wtf does "comparing" even mean in your mind??

    Done af, don't want to be seen interacting with you on a public forum.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    You LITERALLY SAID "That's very much the same for dichotomies" in your post before. Available for everyone to see your dimwittery. Wtf does "comparing" even mean in your mind??

    Done af, don't want to be seen interacting with you on a public forum.
    I likened them to each other in one sense, but that was to prove a point at how literally and therefore falsely you seem to be understanding the romance styles, as the same mistake is often done when trying to understand the dichotomies (which I don't agree with, but that's another topic). You seemed to look beyond that and make the claim that I was primarily comparing romance styles to dichotomies, as if I was saying they are somehow the same, and that therefore my point could be refuted - which was not the case.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ooo View Post
    my IEI bestie is far from a crybaby and more close to a jerkish peterpan, he's also Gemini tho, not a very emotional thing
    "Jerkish peterpan" is a really accurate image.

    I think the crying was mostly an exaggeration, but I did once make an IEI ex of mine public cry on the train. We weren't dating anymore then and he had been being a chode.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Armalite View Post
    I likened them to each other in one sense, but that was to prove a point at how literally and therefore falsely you seem to be understanding the romance styles, as the same mistake is often done when trying to understand the dichotomies (which I don't agree with, but that's another topic). You seemed to look beyond that and make the claim that I was primarily comparing romance styles to dichotomies, as if I was saying they are somehow the same, and that therefore my point could be refuted - which was not the case.
    You have been primarily, FALSELY comparing them. Read your posts.

    Stop ironically victim-cardly targeting my posts, and following them up with asinine easy to see through logic and half-assed replies, or I'm putting you on ignore.

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    damn sniffa :/

    yeah crybaby is just an image to define them as sentimental and perhaps a bit dramatic sometimes, my friend is not much like that, he's more internally emotional and it backfires on him easily since he's been on different treatments through the years, trying to manage his emotions properly

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    In suggestive region all types are kind of submissive. People there are not "adults" which are sure in themselves and show good skills.
    They may disagree and oppose, but it's not strong. It's unconsciousness region, so this may happen not in a moment. After a time people often accept or seriously think about other goten views.

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