Member Questionnaire (PunkSailor)
What is beauty? What is love?
Beauty can convey some sort of emotion. I have found very sad things have a dark beauty to them, while more traditional things like flowers, landscape, cottagecore, are very beautiful as well. I have always been at odds with love, if it's romantic love I can’t say I would know anything about it. But familial love is very nice and warm, my love for my family is very sacrificing because I would do anything to try to make them happy.
What are your most important values?
Loyalty, Honesty, Order, reliability.
I have a “snitches get stitches” type of policy. I don't strike fear into people, I just don't like people with loose lips. I appreciate people that know when it's best to not speak and cause problems.
Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?
I was raised religious, to this day I still hold it very dear to me as the belief that God is real. I also keep up with my practice because it does give me hope to keep on trying to do my best and remember to live humbly.
Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?
I think war is dumb at times because at least as I have learned in history it was mostly just pride or greed. There are problems that have been solved with peaceful comparing and contrasting, communication does wonders. Militaries seem fine to me, at the end of the day protection is important. As for Power, it means having influence, and control. I don't really see a need to have power over other people.
What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?
There isn’t one set thing I have ever talked about for an extended amount of time. I gossip at times, talking about others, their situations things I have no business in at times. But when it’s mostly just a flow of whatever. I like to watch youtube mindlessly, fashion, cooking, baking, documentaries, drama videos of influencers.
Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
I don't think so, I do call people out for eating unhealthy or when they don’t sit straight as it’s bad for you back. When it comes to my own body I’m trying to exercise but it’s not going well. I’m also sensitive to the weather, so I learned my body’s cold limits.
What do you think of daily chores?
I do them but very slowly, my level of cleanliness doesn’t match with the people I live with so it causes conflict. My least favored chore is cleaning the bathroom, I find it tedious.
What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?
I cry when I’m stressed and it can be from work or even from fights I have with people I care about. I smile about food, buying new stuff, and being with family and friends.
Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?
I feel one with my environment when I am being relaxed and having a good time whether it be by myself or with another person, going to a museum or theater, or even eating good food.
What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?
I hastily dismiss people and do not care about their problems, so I come off as inconsiderate and self-absorbed. I have been told that I stick to the same thing, so I seem unadventurous. I dislike that I'm often falling behind my peers because of my laziness.
What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?
My ability to be cutthroat, I don’t regret things that I have done even if it seems as bad. I did what I did, don't look back. I'vee grown up to be an open-minded person, that wasn't so when I was younger. I like that I can be unbothered by other people's problems, my ability to mind my own business really surprises me.
In what areas of your life would you like help?
Everywhere. I don’t personally feel like I have a handle in any area of my life, I am definitely not a productive person in society.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.
I find it difficult to find a reason to keep going, right now in my life I keep falling behind and don't feel like I can catch up to my peers. I just want to give up, I just sit there still waiting for something to change without actually doing anything. Went on autopilot for a while doing my work as it's important, but I've had headaches because of the stress and not to mention my anxiety skyrocketed.
What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?
I gravitate towards people I find unproblematic and have a sense of lightness to their gentleness, easy-going individuals. I don't like arrogant people or sissy men.
How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?
I never liked romantic things when it comes to my relationship, I don't like getting close to people in that way. The closeness makes me nervous and I prefer to keep people at arm's length. I don't like sex, having relations with another person makes me woozy and uncomfortable. What I look for in a partner is someone to essentially just take care of me, working a 9-5 is not something I am built for the long term. I am not very good at many things, with my lack of skills I need someone that can handle work while I just take care of the house.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?
I won’t want my child to be concerned with having to live up to some sort of standard set by other people. I want them to be able to exercise their own boundaries and generally grow up to be an emotionally and mentally healthy person. I don’t want them to feel obligated to follow the conventional idea of success and just enjoy themselves.
A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?
I probably won’t acknowledge it much, that their opinion is wrong at the end of the day. The most I would do is tell them how I think they are wrong before changing the topic to something else. If they don’t drop it I would get angry and just ignore them till they stop.
Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.
I hate it, I wanna be left the hell alone. People want to blame someone else for a problem, just because they don’t want to be guilty of something. A person that tries to be innocent/play the victim is pathetic.
How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?
As I get to know them I can tell if I would like to be around them, but I don’t have a set way to do it. My friends now are kinda childish but know when to get serious. When I'm with them I’m emotional, colorful, easy-going, I like getting them involved in what we are doing. I would say I'm motherly also as I am giving them advice and telling them what they should watch out for.
How do you behave around strangers?
I'm silent, I don’t engage with people unless I have no other choice. I can be very cold hearted and inconsiderate. Talking to strangers makes me sweat, very unpleasant. I sometimes give a warm appearance if it's for work and at the request of someone I care for, but I can’t keep it up for long and people point it out at times.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?
I don’t like conflict but I don’t shy away from it even if I get nervous. If someone insults me it would fall into analyzation, categorizing whether their claim is true or not. If it’s true, then alright it’s true so I can’t do much about that. If it’s not I find them ridiculous. If someone attacks I would try to restrain and maybe choke them out, break their nose, poke their eyes.
How do you dress or manage your appearance?
During the winter I tend to be semi-casual. I like pencil skirts, collar shirts, warm boots, fleece leggings. Summer fits are different especially when I’m out with friends, they are more active so I wear a t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers with them. When not with them I stick to the skirt and shirts with pumps.
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Originally Posted by PunkSailor
