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Any other INFps feeling useless?
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Last edited by kimchipancake; 07-09-2018 at 12:16 PM.
Hello Reyne!
Thank you so much for opening up and for sharing your story with me
I wanna give you a hug actually, so here you go, *hug* ^^
I'll mention that kindness and compassion to myself are historically *far more effective* at getting me to do anything, at all, when I'm feeling really bad, than any kind of tough talk.
Reason is a whore.
I think you are dramatizing a bit, it's just normal life. You think those people who are fighting for their grades will have nice jobs which they like and so on? Most of them will never pursue a career they learned and will change to something else they like or what they have motivation for. Many of them, for most of their lives will be thinking their job is bad and will hate every day and will burn out before 30.
School doesnt give you a ticket to nice highly paid job. You have to work hard to get there and after you finish school you will need probably a lot of practise to land a nice well paid job, it rarely happens just after school if you dont already have a major portfolio.
Lalalala negativity, I can't hear you.
“I want the following word: splendor, splendor is fruit in all its succulence, fruit without sadness. I want vast distances. My savage intuition of myself.”
― Clarice Lispector
a depression is not linked to concrete types
it the typology this emotional state may relate to redundant activity of superego over your superid functions
to get the job is easierOriginally Posted by kimchipancake
the problems are not only from situations you disliked, but more how you reacted to them later and behaved later
emotions are temporary. if you do not support them and do not follow them - they change
if you do nothing - you get nothing. when there is nothing -> you feel bad
when you do something and keep doing even after fails - you feel better. emotions adopt to your behavior in the significant degree
First of all I think it is a positive thing that you are unsatisfied with your current situation and that you are trying to make it better.
When you say that no one seems to care are you being objective or do you think you could be exaggerating a little bit?
Personally I have felt useless in the past. I've never really used medical terms to define my mental state so I wouldn't say that I went through depression but I can remember 2 chapters of my life that were characterized by an excessive inactivity and by how painfully disappointed I felt about everything in me and around me.
During these phases I remember thinking that I was alone and that nobody cared but that was an illusion. The thing is that the people around you are very likely to be just as confused about your inner state as you are and therefore just don't know how to approach you. In my case they didn't know if I even wanted to be approached
It doesn't mean that you are alone, it just means that it is up to you to reach out to whoever you can reach out to - kinda like you reached out to us. Throw the stone out there so that somebody can pick it up
Whoever is around you can help you. They won't just come up with some magical potion that will make everything better all the sudden, but working on your already existing relationships can help you rebuild your self-confidence.
When it comes to finding a job or getting better first I would say that you can do both at the same time. Finding a job will boost your self esteem but "getting better" should give you the right mindset and enough energy to succeed in your job search.
That's just my opinion but if your finances allow it maybe you could go back to school and get a quick degree which will allow you to access more jobs more easily. I know a few people who went back to school to get qualifications for basic business administration or even to work with children.
Whatever you decide there are a few rules that I think are worth implementing into your life right now. This list basically gathers the main things I wish I had been told when I was going through a similar situation:
- Try to hold on to a healthy diet and to excessive. You shouldn't underestimate how much your physical health impacts your mental state. Having a bad diet will only decrease your energy level which will make you even more inactive, which will lead you to overthink and to be less able to take the right steps in order to better your current situation.
- Any path of thinking that leads you to the conclusion that you are worth less than anybody else is flawed and should be completely disregarded.
- Your past does define you now but it is the steps that you will take from now on that will define your future. I believe you when you say that you've been through unfair situations but you can't let them ruin your whole life. They have been ruining your mood so far and that's enough.
- Think of the periods of your life when you felt the happiest. Identify why you were happy at that time and try to recreate the same settings, to indulge in similar hobbies or to simply adopt the same mindset that you had at the time.
- Remember that you are the shit and that you deserve everything you aspire to have. You just have to do what it takes to get there. The pleasure that you get from trying to turn your vision into reality feels just as good and is more profitable than the pleasure that you have from simply indulging in that vision.
That's it for my two cents.
Now good luck and be brave
Nice to see someone echoing my sentiments about typology. I've known it for about 12 years now, and I still haven't much certainty that I've typed myself correctly. It's easy for me to see certain traits in others that make them definable within the limits of a single type, but I can't really do that for myself. It's not that I don't know the theory, like some have said, but that I can't see myself well enough to type myself. And, it seems like, neither can anyone else. When I've asked for help from others, they seem right have an understanding that's more basic and superficial than my own most of the time. I wonder if there's anything to typology at all for this reason, but then again I've also had a number of remarkable observations over the years. That makes me think that, yes, there is something to it. I just wish it were easier to nail down sometimes. Especially my own type lol.
I finished my degree in English Literature, but at this point in my life I don't really feel like doing anything at all. It would have been nice if I'd been one of those people with one thing they're really good at that is also very marketable. But instead I just have an abstract ability to think about things that are utterly useless. And the idea of doing anything at all at this point in my life really just makes me sick.
I've worked the shitty jobs too. It sucks. Oh well. Last year, during the summer, I tried to get some work at a minimum wage place and couldn't even do that. Now, I'm not really interested and couldn't really care less. Or, at least, so I think.
When it comes to interests, I sometimes think to myself, "Is there anything I really like doing?" I mean, other than talking to people online about things like this and other random crap, I can't really think of anything that's been a persistent interest for me. I try to develop an interest, a skill, anything, but I'm not really interested. Some would say that's depression. But, I can't really see that myself. I don't even like that term anymore. It's been taken over and commodified by the "mental health" industry.
Last edited by Aramas; 07-01-2018 at 04:51 AM.
Hello YXPR!First of all I think it is a positive thing that you are unsatisfied with your current situation and that you are trying to make it better.
When you say that no one seems to care are you being objective or do you think you could be exaggerating a little bit?
Personally I have felt useless in the past. I've never really used medical terms to define my mental state so I wouldn't say that I went through depression but I can remember 2 chapters of my life that were characterized by an excessive inactivity and by how painfully disappointed I felt about everything in me and around me.
During these phases I remember thinking that I was alone and that nobody cared but that was an illusion. The thing is that the people around you are very likely to be just as confused about your inner state as you are and therefore just don't know how to approach you. In my case they didn't know if I even wanted to be approached
It doesn't mean that you are alone, it just means that it is up to you to reach out to whoever you can reach out to - kinda like you reached out to us. Throw the stone out there so that somebody can pick it up
Whoever is around you can help you. They won't just come up with some magical potion that will make everything better all the sudden, but working on your already existing relationships can help you rebuild your self-confidence.
When it comes to finding a job or getting better first I would say that you can do both at the same time. Finding a job will boost your self esteem but "getting better" should give you the right mindset and enough energy to succeed in your job search.
That's just my opinion but if your finances allow it maybe you could go back to school and get a quick degree which will allow you to access more jobs more easily. I know a few people who went back to school to get qualifications for basic business administration or even to work with children.
Whatever you decide there are a few rules that I think are worth implementing into your life right now. This list basically gathers the main things I wish I had been told when I was going through a similar situation:
- Try to hold on to a healthy diet and to excessive. You shouldn't underestimate how much your physical health impacts your mental state. Having a bad diet will only decrease your energy level which will make you even more inactive, which will lead you to overthink and to be less able to take the right steps in order to better your current situation.
- Any path of thinking that leads you to the conclusion that you are worth less than anybody else is flawed and should be completely disregarded.
- Your past does define you now but it is the steps that you will take from now on that will define your future. I believe you when you say that you've been through unfair situations but you can't let them ruin your whole life. They have been ruining your mood so far and that's enough.
- Think of the periods of your life when you felt the happiest. Identify why you were happy at that time and try to recreate the same settings, to indulge in similar hobbies or to simply adopt the same mindset that you had at the time.
- Remember that you are the shit and that you deserve everything you aspire to have. You just have to do what it takes to get there. The pleasure that you get from trying to turn your vision into reality feels just as good and is more profitable than the pleasure that you have from simply indulging in that vision.
That's it for my two cents.
Now good luck and be brave
Thank you so much for your understanding, sharing, and advice (:
It really helped
And btw I heard your songs on soundcloud! they're really gooood.
INFps have trouble recognizing that when objective decisions (especially bad ones) are made, they're not necessarily a personal affront. INFps tend to take everything rather personally and develop siege mentalities where they think everyone is against them or not helpful. They really do need to find welcoming environments but their pursuit of overly idealistic goals often cause them to end up in inhospitable situations, which can cause real tailspins when they've no support. Developing psychological issues is an indication that fuel is being added to the fire. All Ips seem have difficulty being objective about their situations; they have to find ways to see over the walls that they often construct themselves. Eps do seem to have a knack for getting over walls.....
a.k.a. I/O
INFps have trouble recognizing that when objective decisions (especially bad ones) are made, they're not necessarily a personal affront. INFps tend to take everything rather personally and develop siege mentalities where they think everyone is against them or not helpful. They really do need to find welcoming environments but their pursuit of overly idealistic goals often cause them to end up in inhospitable situations, which can cause real tailspins when they've no support. Developing psychological issues is an indication that fuel is being added to the fire. All Ips seem have difficulty being objective about their situations; they have to find ways to see over the walls that they often construct themselves. Eps do seem to have a knack for getting over walls.....
a.k.a. I/O
I'm more likely than not an EII. But I wanted to say that I appreciate your work on the forum, and would love to see some material regarding EIIs in the future.
“I want the following word: splendor, splendor is fruit in all its succulence, fruit without sadness. I want vast distances. My savage intuition of myself.”
― Clarice Lispector
It's my pleasure mate.Hello YXPR!
Thank you so much for your understanding, sharing, and advice (:
It really helped
And btw I heard your songs on soundcloud! they're really gooood.
And thank you <3
INFP feel useless. INFJ are useless (only advanced INFJ can notice that).
I have read somewhere that positive quotes can help IEI in tough times, so I'm giving you one I like in hope it helps.
Attachment 13442
There are people who care about you, even in the darkest of times, they are the stars up in the sky.
Lift up your head to look up at the moon and remember, it shines because the sun is still somewhere, waiting for its time.
Even when the moon goes dark, it is for the changing of times, the stars remain.
When the skies go cloudy and thunder roars, it showers the dry earth and bring a freshness to the the ground.
A cold winter day is merely an excuse to cuddle and stay in the warm.
I have read that depression is merely a plea from your body to stop, take care of yourself, and allow for the healing process to take charge.
When we feel useless, we are usually blind to the true impact of our words, our actions on others, even this thread has brought conversations, ideas, the possibility to help, as yes, people who love helping need people to help.
It can bring people together, which we likely will never know.
It has gotten my head out of silly concerns and focusing on something that seems more important to me.
Thank you so so much, Northern Rose!
I feel useless on a daily basis. I was a failure to launch story and now i work at a car wash and drive a 22 year old car. I feel like I never impacted my environment enough to attain success at the right ages. now I'm pushing thirty and I still haven't gone back to school or graduated high school. I feel like an impostor Se ego type.
LSI-Se 836 Sp/Sx
My LSI little brother would probably relate. He did go back to school and got a business degree but doesn’t care about it. And no matter what he accomplishes he seems to feel useless often. He actually does a tremendous amount though and discounts it/himself though.
Squash some ants outside and revel in how powerful you are. To them, you are like a walking Empire State Building. You could also blow something up, like an old sofa, by mixing household chemicals together and then igniting it by clicking stones together like a caveman.
Trust me, it's an instant fix.
If you still don't feel cheerful, start laughing. This may seem forced and somewhat maniacal for a few minutes, but then the mirth will start to flow more freely and you will begin to feel better.
And if all else fails, you can put up ads advertising for a boyfriend.
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