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Thread: How long does it take for duals to click

  1. #41

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    I totally agree with the creative function being attractive to duals. I got no legit words on this, all I got is my own experience and it has worked like a charm, before I knew socionics and after.

    There's a click I notice with duals and a click I don't notice until much later. The click I notice is that when I used my creative function both duals and mirage types react in the way I am secretly wishing someone to react. And it makes my antics feel appreciated in the exact way I intended them to be when I do them. With how ideal duals reactions can be to my creative it feels like a click, like wow this person is giving me the exact thing I have been looking for. And there is excitement when being around them because I know my efforts are gonna be satisfied and I guess for the Si user they might expect to be entertained or something, like "What's this silly boy gonna do next?".

    The click I don't realize until later happens when I'm talking to a dual or I just observe them talking to someone and they say something that I'm thinking or share a view on something that matches my own but they've never actually heard my view, and these things are usually very nuanced so it's kinda shocking to see someone have the same idea as you and never know you thought the same. It has a sensation like you are more similar than the other people around you, and makes you ask why is that? We aren't related, and this person doesn't know me well.

  2. #42
    I'm not hungry mommy bear BrainlessSquid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Pixel View Post
    I totally agree with the creative function being attractive to duals. I got no legit words on this, all I got is my own experience and it has worked like a charm, before I knew socionics and after.

    There's a click I notice with duals and a click I don't notice until much later. The click I notice is that when I used my creative function both duals and mirage types react in the way I am secretly wishing someone to react. And it makes my antics feel appreciated in the exact way I intended them to be when I do them. With how ideal duals reactions can be to my creative it feels like a click, like wow this person is giving me the exact thing I have been looking for. And there is excitement when being around them because I know my efforts are gonna be satisfied and I guess for the Si user they might expect to be entertained or something, like "What's this silly boy gonna do next?".

    The click I don't realize until later happens when I'm talking to a dual or I just observe them talking to someone and they say something that I'm thinking or share a view on something that matches my own but they've never actually heard my view, and these things are usually very nuanced so it's kinda shocking to see someone have the same idea as you and never know you thought the same. It has a sensation like you are more similar than the other people around you, and makes you ask why is that? We aren't related, and this person doesn't know me well.
    What's your type?
    You have described pretty much everything I had to say about my experience with someone I know (especially the world view part). I get this sensation/feeling of reward for applying my efforts on something I expected to be appreciated. It is as though the person knows exactly how to behave in a way that fits perfectly my idealizations/unconscious expectations. Even the way someone wishes me happy birthday seems different, like they know the exact words to touch my heart. She might not be a dual, maybe a mirage, but this is amazing

  3. #43

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    i don't totally agree b/c an ESI has turned my metaphorical head online just via their address to someone else. i mean, even older, married, sex-i'm-not-into ESI can impress me


    "Without libido and physical attraction, there's not going to be any great revelation or sudden rapture; duals tend to simply grow on one another in a slow, almost ponderous fashion, which is counter to the romantic ideals of more than a few NFs......

    a.k.a. I/O"

  4. #44
    f.k.a Oprah sbbds's Avatar
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    Yeah for me really all they have to do is exist and talk to me. I rarely feel annoyed by people, especially introverts talking to me too much. I am lonely and stuff. I think I might possibly come across as a stoic and unapproachable person. I am kind of detached. Once a good online IEI friend of mine (genders we are not attracted to) who met me IRL for the first time told me something like, "It's like the popular girl at school is talking to me and I'm starstruck."
    Last edited by sbbds; 04-18-2020 at 06:14 AM.

  5. #45
    &papu silke's Avatar
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    Not long

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    Quote Originally Posted by Megatrop View Post
    I have seen stories of duals who have taken many months, possibly years (like some SLI-IEE), whereas in some cases like the one described by a well-adjusted photographer had a magic instant love like reaction upon meeting his dual ("I know it's strange, but I love you", he said after meeting her for the first time!). So I am asking how long does it take for duals to enter their "honeymoon phase" and to just click. I mean, when other people can notice the living nature of dual relations.
    Please, tell me everything you know about it.
    5 miliseconds

  7. #47

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    In my one dual experience, Id say very quickly. But I think a lot of things come into play. I was younger (23) and he older (27). I admired his talent and work ethic right from the beginning. We had social media to communicate with one another otherwise I think we would have just passed by each other. He did dress terribly/very overweight and wasn’t the most romantic in the courting phase. I felt the connection and could see he was changing for the better and that he really appreciated my efforts and what I brought to the table. He also offered me a life that I deemed better than my current one and so within 2 months of meeting him I packed my belongings up and moved to be with him. I felt that us meeting, the stars just aligned and everything just fell into place easily. You just feel 100% supported and anything can be done when you are together. I did not know Socionics at the time and am only able to come to these conclusions from self reflection years after the fact.

    I came to another realization, wouldn’t the fact of the person being out of your league effect the rate of attraction? To be at the same level of attractiveness and economic level could make things quicker to happen. At the time meeting my dual, I felt that I was in a better position economically and more attractive than him. But he had a more exciting life, well liked/lots of friends, and lived in a cooler city. At the time there was very little to lose, he had someone cute on his arms and I wanted a more exciting life and for that it happened in an instant.
    Last edited by Samantha; 07-05-2020 at 02:00 AM.

  8. #48

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    if i'm an ESI, then i don't ever really click with my duals, i don't like them all that much. but they're better than EIE, i never really click with them but they just won't stay away from me; they call me buddy all the time when they don't care i'm not interested and they just continually keep using their base function to get me to like them and then i just have to act like i care about them; i hate what they do to try to get me to like them. i'm most attracted to SLE and ILE-Ti (i really don't want to ever wind up with anyone other than those two), but most of the sle and just about all the ile-ti don't like me much in return and they aren't really very aware that they don't like me in return. ILI are too rigid otherwise i would be attracted to them.
    Last edited by Disturbed; 07-13-2020 at 09:16 PM.

  9. #49
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    @Disturbed The people to whom you refer must be really physically attractive in your eyes. The ESIs that I've known expressed a fair amount of disdain toward and didn't trust the SLEs and ILEs with whom they had to work very closely. They seem to find them too self-serving and cold, which I found rather ironic coming from ESIs.

    a.k.a. I/O

  10. #50

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    My husband of 33 years and I clicked immediately and yet were so different immediately.

    Is he my dual type? My only answer to that is we have lasted the distance.

    He over I would insist we are duals.

    However...despite some shit in this life we are still together...

  11. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Disturbed View Post
    if i'm an ESI, then i don't ever really click with my duals, i don't like them all that much. but they're better than EIE, i never really click with them but they just won't stay away from me; they call me buddy all the time when they don't care i'm not interested and they just continually keep using their base function to get me to like them and then i just have to act like i care about them; i hate what they do to get people to hang out with them. i'm most attracted to SLE and ILE-Ti (i really don't want to wind up with anyone other than those two), but most of the sle and just about all the ile-ti don't like me much in return and they aren't really very aware that they don't like me in return. ILI are too rigid otherwise i would be attracted to them.
    I've had the experience of EIEs always calling me buddy not not really treating me very well, also. They have problems being alone, so they'll latch onto anyone who will let them hang around. Then they'll be just as selfish as they've always been, coopting the so-called buddy and roping then into things they want to do, ignoring their friend's desires.

    I've hung out some with SLEs and ILEs. It tends to go south eventually. But it's not as bad as some relationships. SLEs I've had worse experiences with than ILEs.

    Some ILEs I've met have been kinda nice, moreso than the average. I feel like I should pay more attention to them and be nice to them, but I end up dismissing them for whatever reason. The nice ones I've met seem like they would make good friends, better than most of the other people I've met. But nonetheless I end up turning them away....

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