Alright! Unless there's any pressing counterarguments, let's tentatively put a line under this and call it IEE.
Thanks for coming back crAck, and also thanks to everyone else who contributed
@OP
Glanced at video, IEE>EIE. Or maybe IEI-Fe.
I think we "offload" both 1D functions.Originally Posted by crAck
I don't like criticism in either one, but in a different way.
Your thinking style and nonverbal impression are closer to EIE than to IEE.
To check between 2 types differing by quadras is easier by IR. Type people near you or use my types examples - and understand which people are closer to your soul.
I'm pretty sure my close friends are mostly delta. Definitely there's not a beta vibe anyway. And based on the forums, I feel more at home in the delta subsection. The Beta group NFs sometimes express similar values to me but I get a distinct impression of being more chilled out than them. I don't really know how to explain it but around people like the ones I see in that forum I generally feel tired after a while of being with them. They seem more switched on I guess.
I also think I know an SLI in real life and an LSI and distinctly prefer the SLI (even though all NTR stuff considered like age, common interests etc I should get on more with the LSI). But I'm hesitant to use that at the minute until I'm more confident in my typing skills. The vibe the forums give off is my my clearest example.
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
Do not hurry with the opinions about types of people as you are a novice. Give them tests, look at my types examples which mb more correct.
> And based on the forums, I feel more at home in the delta subsection.
Your thinking and nonverbal are not easy in perception for me like Fi types are. Your nonverbal is unusual and this mb the reason you having some shift to P types in behavior being J type.
In quadras subsections you may meet people of random types which assinged themselves wrongly those types. This makes your argument as not good. The examples are: Chae (EIE), ooo (IEI), FlutteringShyxx (SEI) - all of them had delta types in the last year in profiles; 2 of them have removed it at now, 2 of them are betas. Chae thought herself as IEE seems for several years. I met in quantity the mistakes between orthogonal quadras.
Another noticed "deltas". Delilah have written recently wrong EII in the profile while being Fe type and cosplays it to some degree. aster had EII for some time, but fits to ESI better and prefers to keep the profile clear now. Saoirse has EII but is not such and mb TS.
> But I'm hesitant to use that at the minute until I'm more confident in my typing skills.
You study to type during typing, making you closer to real types step by step. You assume a type (I recommend intuitive nonverbal method by dichotomies as the start) and think how a man fits to it, narrow the range of types he fits the most.
During IR checking of your own type you study the typing. In one moment you'll notice you get IR effects according to the theory and people behave close to the types you assigned to them. There will no be significant contradictions with the theory. This point means you've got your type and initial understanding of the types. This may take monthes.
From the theory use: dichotomies, 8 functions, model A (weak/strong, valued/nonvalued functions). Do not use other theory as it's more doubtful.
At now moment you mostly need to choose between IEE and EIE as your type. It should not be hard. Type people, use IR and you should to come that EIE fits better to IR.
There is nothing to add. Your part of the work starts.
Last edited by Sol; 07-23-2018 at 12:20 PM.
Yeah it's not so much specific people in the quadra subsections I like and more the vibe of the subsections in general. The reason I reference it is because the group feel comes across even in text and I think even if some people are mistyped, the vibe should still exist. Providing the majority of the subsection isn't mistyped anyway. I've lurked pretty far back in both the delta and beta sections and paid particular attention to them discussing how they are socially and IR posts. It's really hard to articulate what it is about the forums because it really is a vibe rather than something concrete.
The further back you go the better as well since I guess there were maybe less people on the forum so the same people post in every thread and clearly know each other well so you get a feel for group dynamics. Delta threads are really supportive - there's a LOT of posts about insecurities and people lifting each other up. The jokes are cute and everyone is down to earth. There's a bunch of jokes in older posts about how half the board is taken up by SLIs & IEEs struggling to find duality and looking for help. This comes from a lot of people make new threads that are basically therapy threads (i.e. an SLI will feel bad about something & make a post, other SLIs concur, a bunch of IEEs jump in and talk about how great SLIs are). Here's an example (from 2007 lol, told you I lurked). It feels a lot like my friend group (a bunch of insecure people oversharing with each other and saying nice things to help out). I know A LOT about a bunch of strangers on the internet I've never interacted with because of how in depth their share their problems and can tell you the relationship history and dynamic of several users.
And then a thread pulled from Beta 2012 with a similar problem of understanding duals. Much more aggressive and jokey (swearing, "quit whining", get rich or get handsome, very little serious advice etc). I saw a similar one which I can't find now where an SLE was essentially complaining he had the worst duals because they're all lazy and other SLEs were replying in similar ilk (but the dualised ones saying it was worth it eventually). Its a real contrast to the delta "I don't understand my dual, but I'd like to - can you help?" There's a lot of banter style humour and mock competitiveness (which I distinctly say I don't like in my video). There was a thread about someone having sex with their dual for the first time (they just wanted to brag) and everyone joined in the bragging and high-fiving. They just feel like fire to me. Switched on, volatile, aggressive and, of course, a lot of fun. But also exhausting and unfamiliar. I know people irl who give me that vibe and I'm fascinated by them but usually find their company unfulfilling. I found an EIE's type me thread where her first post sounded a lot like my values (so much so I was going to share it here) but then the way she interacted with people in the comments was soooo much fiercer than me and the more I read the less I related to her.
uh so the tl;dr is just even without individual typings, delta quadra posts resemble my group more and feel more like how I would talk / interact with a group.
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
about what argument you are asking is not clear
her talking on the forum and my impressions from her nonverbal by video fit to IEI
she's often was chaotic in expressing the thinking - P. lesser restrained and polite in emotional expression than base Fi
has Se valued, what is evident there. she've deleted the message with her collage with her fantasy of killing her ex-lover. EII would not boast by Se valued inclinations to a violence
she's clearly not EII by the behavior on the forum and IEI on the sum of the known
and she thought her type as INFP for years what is IEI too
more details of the said - seek in her messages
there is nothing better to think her as EII. people show common conformism here and the lack of the competence. also not many ones saw her video, what makes harder to understand her type
by a knife. when he sleeps or alike
no way it's cute and fluffy EII
> shame her video is gone. oh well.
I talked with her a year ago and said about doubts her type to be EII as she talked closer to IEI. she've placed a clip with her so I'd watched it. and I've seen the common IEI
glad to see u people agree on something. btw it's mrrrmaid's thread, you could entertain your thoughts about my type somewhere else.
Se valued types have some sympathy to death as more think about time and better accept death's importance as part of life circle. They may to have more sympathy to what associates with death and decay. Hence jokes about violence and death are more common among them.
she's touchy about discussions about her type. she added me to ignore list for my arguments about her type not being EII
All F types can be highly defensive against _logical_ arguments which cross with their feelings. Overprotection of a weak region.
I've pointed that her opinion about own type mb due to her wish to have good IR with some guy and then she "oh uh. it was so rude -> ignore list"
> Then, even more, her being so fatalistic and blocking you.
niffer (also IEI) was annoyed by my arguments about her type too
*sigh* their type is nervous with Te. they have sweat dreams and then accidentally get "there are no unicorns. it's all bs. and you are not a princess". this hurts them a lot
maybe her being defensive was less about the Te and more about the continued insistence on retyping her even after she asked you to stop?
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
The idea that @niffer is IEI is just ridiculous. So yeah hahaha
I would think @ooo is not Fe creative either, she's just not interested in adapting to people's emotions. If Se valuing then ESI rather than IEI, but I won't discuss her typing here as it's off topic, just saying it's obvious she's not a Fe creative. Let alone niffer, loool
I guess basically if someone dares to disagree with Sol on his opinion on their typing, they are going to become IEI (what he thinks to be his conflictor)
Exactly, and a great example of how Socionics cannot explain every single people interaction like @Sol would like it to.maybe her being defensive was less about the Te and more about the continued insistence on retyping her even after she asked you to stop?
thx @Myst and @mrrmaid, I'm not responding because I was hoping they would stop to throw trash in this place, but apparently they can't help themselves when it comes to disrespecting others' demands.
I'd be glad to talk about how I don't have a death fetish and why I think that doesn't make me a Se valuer in the sexual kink of the quadras thread.
If you have any other concerns I'll be glad to read them in the random thought, or in your typing of forum members threads.
If things will persist on here, don't count me in your trolling.
@Sol, a lot of your typing arguments consist strongly of
* how you respond to the person
* whether they match your previous typings
* how incompetent everybody else is at typing
These are common strategies on this site, so you’re not alone in this. But what about it is especially T?
LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”
Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”
LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”
what makes it T is whether that output is a result of a logical process or an emotional one. outwardly two people behave similarly,but it can be the result of very different internal workings. to make the more obvious case, Sol is not benefitting from strong ethics. where are his friends, his public reputation, etc. he is bound to the logical formula, the principle. and on that basis he has considerable work product, not of the ethical sort in the aforementioned forms, but in his library. if you can see this it has the reverse effect than seen here: sympathy not attacks
Yes extremely weird. Btw Sol didn't type niffer anything in DCNH, he doesn't use DCNH.
@mrrrmaid thank you for making a video, it was very informative. Didn't read the whole thread yet, but here are some observations from the video:
technical difficulties : low Te, or at least not much attention to it
open to suggestions: Ne
seems prone to boredom "I'm excited for the next thing"
"hippie campaigner"
mentions crying in public, seems expressive
a bit awkward
emphasis on free expression atmosphere
silly humor
dislikes insulting humor or play fighting (Se), sarcasm and dark humor (Ni)
stifled if she can't talk about her emotions or when people judge her as weird
moral high horse (likes it)
anxieties and vulnerabilities
couldn't be friends with people who "don't care" about social issues
bf: ESE or (less likely) Se leading. contrasts with her lower Se.
"sold out his values" to get a job and make money. so he probably had lower priority Ti / higher Te.
disliked bf: LSI
likes aesthetic things: room and clothes, makeup.
no "help with imagination" - big chaotic mess (what kind of imagination?)
ideas ideas ideas - no implementation. likes the conversational exchange.
always moving, favorite thing is to "create a space". but "terrible at cooking cleaning, chores, finances"
nervously quiet around new people
likes when people are nerdy and passionate about what others might find boring (Ne(Ti?))
"everyone is good" in their essence (Ne/Si)-bright, shining, good, loving, fun
as a kid would just sit alone in a playground
reading instead of playing outside
friends would take advantage of her (lower Se)
Overall it is very, very clear that you are an Ne valuing ethical type. The "goody goodiness" and extreme denial of any kind of negativity and darkness (eg your moral views on people) very strongly points against an Ni valuing type @Cosmic Teapot. So I would throw out the idea of being Beta NF completely.
There is also a somewhat subtler emphasis on an atmosphere of free expression: you say (on two separate occasions) that you feel stifled when you are not allowed to "be weird" — but actually more accurately to *act* weird. In my opinion this is actually Fe, not Ne, and thus is not something an EII would care about (since they have ignoring Fe), and would not state explicitly. Would an IEE? Maybe.
ESE doesn't really come to mind due to your general issues with taking action / being decisive.
okay, so you aren't good at health, cooking etc. I'm not going to say this is typical for an SEI but is it consistent? Hmm...
I secretly love drama and attention (like, I'm really socially awkward in social settings but great on a stage) and in more comfortable friendship group settings I'll happily take on doing a performance for the lols.Again, these things point strongly against Fe ignoring. Doing something to improve the mood of a situation is typically Fe+Si - not atypical for IEEs however.
Overall I think you are either IEE or SEI, with SEI being more likely.
That list just seems Intuitive preference to me
Why is it Fe?There is also a somewhat subtler emphasis on an atmosphere of free expression: you say (on two separate occasions) that you feel stifled when you are not allowed to "be weird" — but actually more accurately to *act* weird. In my opinion this is actually Fe, not Ne
Stereotypically weak Sensingokay, so you aren't good at health, cooking etc. I'm not going to say this is typical for an SEI but is it consistent? Hmm...
What list? You mean the list of literally everything from the video?
Read my siteWhy is it Fe?
I hope that's not actually a serious question.
My point is that I don't think a lot of OP's stuff is Si ego or that it's Ni devaluing but rather just a general Intuitive preference.
I don't know where the relevant parts are on your site and don't have time to browse through it all. But it really just doesn't make sense... acting "weird" is Intuition related, not Feeling/Ethics.Read my site
uhh ok. There were a lot of observations there that didn't all have to do with the same thing. Ne valuing was just the most obvious aspect, to me.
@Myst in my understanding of socionics self-expression is Fe, not Ne. We talked about this a few days ago...I don't know where the relevant parts are on your site and don't have time to browse through it all. But it really just doesn't make sense... acting "weird" is Intuition related, not Feeling/Ethics.
I still hope you are not serious with assuming anyone wouldn't know that
Weird behaviour isn't expression of emotions.@Myst in my understanding of socionics self-expression is Fe, not Ne. We talked about this a few days ago...
Self-expression is too generic to apply it to Fe specifically, any information element can be used for self expression.
NF
Fi lead? You don't seem Fe ignoring at all.
Ni lead? You don't move and talk with the typical Pi lead calmness. You actually don't appear to be an introvert at all.
You value Si over Se. The only time you seemed to appreciate a Se-ish behaviour, it was because it was needed to preserve the ethics. Chaos and quietness>order and precision. You're a p, not a j. This would confirm IEE for you.
Beta NF
You seem IxFx leaning Fi lead. Clearly Sincere Communication Style. Soft-spoken Ethical Introvert. (As a comparison, ExFx communication style is "Passionate", more intense due to 4D Fe.) Making too long videos for typology is a common problem for people with weak Logic and/or Sensing. Your comments in the beginning about how the technology didn't work etc. is classic 1D Te problems.
ooh wow this thread really picked up again. Lot's to think about.
First thing that jumps out as something I'd need to correct is that I'm not usually this soft-spoken and often get told off by my pals for being too loud but there were other people in the house and I didn't want them to hear me talk to myself about myself for what ended up being an hour and a half.
I'm definitely willing to throw out Beta NF by this point - I've read about quadra values, read posts by Beta NFs and watched videos etc and yeah that's not me. I agree with @thehotelambush on the fact that my love of all things light & optimistic is at odds with that. I also don't have that Se bad-assery that was mentioned a few posts back and the clearest thing to me at this point is that I'm Si > Se.
Also re: hotelambush's post - yeah I had that bf I didn't like pegged as an LSI which was also one of my reasons for picking IEE over EIE (most of my friends like him and say he was a good guy and one of my better loves but I really don't have time for him - this is nothing to do with politics / lack of mutual interests / age or anything like that because we were pretty similar, which makes me think type related). BUT me being SEI could make sense in this point because he always admired me, was surprised that I didn't see us as compatible and tried to maintain contact with me after the relationship. If we were truly in conflict this would be weird (though he was a bit emotionally blind at times) but if I were his benefactor this would make sense as an asymmetrical relationship. Anyway definitely not my dual.
In terms of acting weird - I may have minced words here since I don't see the weirdness as the act but the normalness. So when I'm at work or with strangers I feel like I'm constantly restraining myself / being judged. With the "my imagination is a chaotic mess" what I mean is I often daydream whole conversations / scenarios. It's a way of sorting out my thoughts where I literally talk them out with an imaginary person to explain them and often I jump from topic to topic and always think I should write it down but never do. With other people I know like this we're always like "We should make a film / comic / essay about this topic" and plan it out and then never actually do. I can see how this is v Alpha but also I feel like it points to me needing an implementer instead of an ILE dual? Another point on this - and I can't remember if this is talked about in this video or my lost original video RIP so forgive me if I'm repeating myself - is in the background you can see a whiteboard which is where I dump long lists of everything I need to do today / this week / eventually (all in separate columns) and I rate my days based on a scale of 1-8 to try and track progress. The longer I go without updating the board the more of a mess my life is because I can't keep things in my head - my mind wanders way too much.
I'm still leaning towards IEE but I'll reopen SEI as an option and go explore that some more. My main reasons against it are that I see myself benefiting more from an SLI duality than an ILE duality - and generally I like ILEs from the get go rather than the weird, awkward figuring-it-out stage of early duality that I think I'd definitely have with an SLI. And that I'm definitely infantile > caregiver. Will go focus more on IEs to work it out though.
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
I also had an attempt with an IEE lol and I did have a lag in realizing that we were REALLY not compatible while the IEE did already figure that out. Then I was forced to fix the situation and I did a really thorough analysis to figure it out to see what he really meant, I ended up understanding it okay then, so no I didn't go as far as maintaining contact afterwards, I was actually the one who ended the relationship officially, the IEE was being a bit too hesitant there, he just let me know he was not seeing us as compatible blah blah but he didn't give up on it entirely yet lol. So the point is that if I hadn't consciously made myself to go and understand it right away I'd have stayed interested for longer, call it me being a bit blinded lol.
FWIW
yeah this sounds almost exactly like my situation. I worked out about three months into the six month relationship that it wasn't going to work but kept hesitating (I kept saying it was better to be in an okay relationship than no relationship since there was nothing wrong but also just nothing right). He always had trouble understanding why past girlfriends didn't work out and was prone to making the same mistakes in his relationships over and over, which is why I mentioned above that he might just be emotionally blind and not actually asymmetrical. He was also terrible at reading me and misjudged my likes and dislikes a lot so there's a good chance he was in a relationship with his ideal me rather than actual me lol
Funnily enough - a friend set us up in an attempt at duality without realising that was what he was doing (as in, this was someone not familiar with socionics - he was just analysing our strengths & weaknesses). He said the guy was very stuck in his ways, dating meek girls who never challenged him and lacked emotional nuance. However, he was grounded, practical, physical and good at housekeeping. On the other hand, I was someone who was scattered, anxious, terrible at anything practical and often emotionally volatile. But also I'm very independent, fun, empathetic and generally not accepting of the status quo. Therefore we'd meet perfectly in the middle as a grounded, practical couple who try new things and get each other out of bad habits. He got the NF/ST duality part I guess but accidentally did a conflict relationship rather than a dual.
Based on a few other ITRs, IEE still makes the most sense and ooo's description of Ne pretty much convinced me that that is my lead (more so than the description of Si lead mentioned a few pages back).
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
I was terribly emotionally blind too back then, but I was already working on the issue so that's why I decided so quickly to analyse out what he meant by the issues he brought up. The fun thing was that I told him very quickly after that that I'm done with the relationship and he truly did not seem to get it, not until I really spelled it out. Until then he kept throwing around options/possibilities for what we wanted to do previously. Um... it was real weird to me lol.
Out of curiosity, what mistakes was he repeating in his relationships?
Yeah right if you know MBTI, some people recommend ISTJ and ENFP go together... no way.Funnily enough - a friend set us up in an attempt at duality without realising that was what he was doing (as in, this was someone not familiar with socionics - he was just analysing our strengths & weaknesses). He said the guy was very stuck in his ways, dating meek girls who never challenged him and lacked emotional nuance. However, he was grounded, practical, physical and good at housekeeping. On the other hand, I was someone who was scattered, anxious, terrible at anything practical and often emotionally volatile. But also I'm very independent, fun, empathetic and generally not accepting of the status quo. Therefore we'd meet perfectly in the middle as a grounded, practical couple who try new things and get each other out of bad habits. He got the NF/ST duality part I guess but accidentally did a conflict relationship rather than a dual.
Eh yeah you VI'd closest to IEE in the video. I just mentioned the other options that could not be excluded entirely.Based on a few other ITRs, IEE still makes the most sense and ooo's description of Ne pretty much convinced me that that is my lead (more so than the description of Si lead mentioned a few pages back).
Lmao the frantic planning of alternative things to do instead of breaking up is something I've done in a different relationship.
So he seemed to keep going out with the same sort of girl (which is why our mutual friend recommended me to get him out of the rut). They were always dependent and clingy. He had lots of stories about them being jealous and insecure. But he would always assume that that was them and his only fault was that he had bad taste in women. But when I dated him I noticed that he started to make me thing along those lines too (which is weird for me). The most obvious example was one time he announced he was going to a wedding and when I asked whose wedding he (very defensively) informed me that it was his ex-girlfriend's sister's wedding and he was going as his ex-girlfriend's date. Which, in itself, I didn't have a problem with but I DID have a problem with the fact that he didn't ask me if that was okay and also how defensive he was as though I was overstepping my mark for asking. I don't know if that makes sense? Like the way he didn't tell me and then got defensive made me think there was something wrong, even though I wouldn't normally have a problem. His defensiveness made me think I needed to be attacking him to warrant his defence. Also his previous gf had been very clingy and read his text messages because she thought he was texting other girls, which he got defensive about, but she was totally right to worry because he was texting me (the girl he was lining up to be his next girlfriend) on a daily basis. So yeah he was dating clingy girls but he gave them good reasons to be anxious imo.
Another thing he did, which I alluded to, is he had set formulas for good dates regardless of whether I'd like them or not. So he offered to take me to a spa (which he'd done with previous girlfriends) even though I have no interest in spas (as discussed on the last page actually). He also took me to "a really nice cafe" that'd I'd definitely love which was in a small village (I hate small villages - they're really boring), full of old middle class people (who took one look at my garish outfit and made no attempt to hide their distaste), had pictures of the royal family and conservative politicians on the wall (I'm left-wing, liberal and anti-royalist) and specialised in cream tea (I'm vegan). He got really annoyed at me when I poked fun at everything and tried to get him to explain how he could think I'd like the place. So yeah he was just empathetically tone deaf and wouldn't adopt his behaviour regardless of who he was dating or how it was making people feel.
Some type related stuff that's not just him being a bad person to be in a relationship with - he had lots of inane rules and categories that I hated and loved to see destroyed or picked apart (which I'm guessing is Ti-polr on my behalf). He also would brag about working 13 hour days and say he could never sit at home whilst work needed doing because it would stress him out and he couldn't relax. But imo if your contracted 8 hours and it takes you 13 hours to do the work that's not something to brag about? That's just inefficient and means you're bad at your job (no one else in his office worked these hours). And more generally I just found him very boring
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
God, is that some IEE thing for whatever reason?
God lol, looks like he had zero boundaries / had zero idea about how to pay attention to them. Hence the defensiveness (is my guess), even if he was not actually cheating on you with the ex.So he seemed to keep going out with the same sort of girl (which is why our mutual friend recommended me to get him out of the rut). They were always dependent and clingy. He had lots of stories about them being jealous and insecure. But he would always assume that that was them and his only fault was that he had bad taste in women. But when I dated him I noticed that he started to make me thing along those lines too (which is weird for me). The most obvious example was one time he announced he was going to a wedding and when I asked whose wedding he (very defensively) informed me that it was his ex-girlfriend's sister's wedding and he was going as his ex-girlfriend's date. Which, in itself, I didn't have a problem with but I DID have a problem with the fact that he didn't ask me if that was okay and also how defensive he was as though I was overstepping my mark for asking. I don't know if that makes sense? Like the way he didn't tell me and then got defensive made me think there was something wrong, even though I wouldn't normally have a problem. His defensiveness made me think I needed to be attacking him to warrant his defence. Also his previous gf had been very clingy and read his text messages because she thought he was texting other girls, which he got defensive about, but she was totally right to worry because he was texting me (the girl he was lining up to be his next girlfriend) on a daily basis. So yeah he was dating clingy girls but he gave them good reasons to be anxious imo.
Yeah sounds like a really unhealthy LSIAnother thing he did, which I alluded to, is he had set formulas for good dates regardless of whether I'd like them or not. So he offered to take me to a spa (which he'd done with previous girlfriends) even though I have no interest in spas (as discussed on the last page actually). He also took me to "a really nice cafe" that'd I'd definitely love which was in a small village (I hate small villages - they're really boring), full of old middle class people (who took one look at my garish outfit and made no attempt to hide their distaste), had pictures of the royal family and conservative politicians on the wall (I'm left-wing, liberal and anti-royalist) and specialised in cream tea (I'm vegan). He got really annoyed at me when I poked fun at everything and tried to get him to explain how he could think I'd like the place. So yeah he was just empathetically tone deaf and wouldn't adopt his behaviour regardless of who he was dating or how it was making people feel.
Yes it does sound IEE, there is this IEE guy I know (not the one I tried to date) that keeps picking at LSIs for all this lol...Some type related stuff that's not just him being a bad person to be in a relationship with - he had lots of inane rules and categories that I hated and loved to see destroyed or picked apart (which I'm guessing is Ti-polr on my behalf). He also would brag about working 13 hour days and say he could never sit at home whilst work needed doing because it would stress him out and he couldn't relax. But imo if your contracted 8 hours and it takes you 13 hours to do the work that's not something to brag about? That's just inefficient and means you're bad at your job (no one else in his office worked these hours). And more generally I just found him very boring
Does he not do more work than others do in their 8 hours? : o
Yeah I'm guessing something to do with Ne in panic mode. For my first bf we broke up three times and kept getting back together and I'd have a list of possible solutions to all the problems to justify it.
And tbh I don't know what he did for 13 hours. He always seemed more stressed than anyone else and still failed to meet deadlines in time. He was always very pessimistic and blew small problems out of the water so whenever he talked about how much work he had to do and how he could't possibly do it in the set hours I always assumed that was in his head. I guess that's another maybe TR maybe not thing - he was always complaining but never seemed interested in changing the situation, or maybe didn't believe it was possible to change? I hated the complaining for the sake of complaining
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
Ah that makes sense.
He could've been overly perfectionistic doing the tasks.And tbh I don't know what he did for 13 hours. He always seemed more stressed than anyone else and still failed to meet deadlines in time. He was always very pessimistic and blew small problems out of the water so whenever he talked about how much work he had to do and how he could't possibly do it in the set hours I always assumed that was in his head. I guess that's another maybe TR maybe not thing - he was always complaining but never seemed interested in changing the situation, or maybe didn't believe it was possible to change? I hated the complaining for the sake of complaining
As for the last part: maybe his brain needed way more processing to be able to get somewhere. I don't like to just call people's stuff "complaining for the sake of complaining", though sure it can look a lot like that sometimes.
One more quick q: do you have examples of what "inane rules and categories" he had that you tried to pick apart? How did he react lool. Like I said, I know this IEE that keeps going against LSI stuff, he doesn't usually pick on anything concretely for me but it happened before, it was mildly annoying lol. If you have examples of how you expressed these criticisms, I could see if it's anything similar to that IEE. To add to your typing stuff.
You guys’s stories are funny. My LSI husband had an IEE girlfriend for a few months before we met and had a similar issue to what @Myst describes. He showed me a couple of her last emails, hope that doesn’t sound mean ... he was still confused by what happened.
They were about things they still needed to do and questions about how he wanted to handle things like a toaster he had happened to buy her when hers broke, the kind of thing he would never think twice about. But mostly the tone was sort of like they hadn’t broken up. It had worried him.
@mrrrmaid, if I were involved with someone and they said they were going to a wedding as their ex-girlfriend’s date, I would not be okay with it in a thousand billion years. I would tell him directly, NO you are not going to do that. Because who does that? It’s beyond inappropriate and you just don’t do it, it’s insane. I would feel threatened, but I also would feel like I needed to protect him from a crazy plan, so the message would be
* we can’t be a couple if you do this because I am not in a couple with someone who does this
* even if we split up you still shouldn’t do this unless you want to resume your relationship with your ex-gf
I’m not saying my values are the only right ones, btw. I’ve been around people who are socially progressive, hippie-ish, etc, and make things like that wedding date work. But my more rigid values automtically kick in, in my particular relationship with an LSI.
LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”
Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”
LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”
Weird, what you're describing sounds like someone with weak Te and weak Ni both. . .
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