@Aki Defensive behavior is not welcome because as opposed to disagreement it does not contribute to a discussion in a civil manner. Being defensive implies that a member takes something personally. That and disagreeing are not the same thing. Under that condition you always had and still have the chance to verbalize your disagreement on my blog or in a pm.
Well, this is more like rethoric than some actual differentiation. Which is the limit in this case? If we are speaking about personal experiences, its well, personal. So it is your opinion or observations about the type against or opposed as mine or others. If I said "I disagree because this or that or my experience is different" you'd easily take it as me being defensive just because I'm the type you are talking about.Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot
@Aki Defensive behavior is not welcome because as opposed to disagreement it does not contribute to a discussion in a civil manner.
Being defensive implies that a member takes something personally. That and disagreeing are not the same thing. Under that condition you always had and still have the chance to verbalize your disagreement on my blog or in a pm
Second, I find rather you the one being defensive, this thread shows it. Plus I didnt even gave my opinion about anything you wrote. I even respected your entry and requirements. You did not the same. You were not happy with posting one, you went as far as including others ppls in there and repeating yourself and giving constructive to ppl that were posting stuff that went your way ( in your opinion?) while accusing me for doing it (?).
I was just including the literal words others used, you among them for asking some others opinions. Despite that, you invented a whole story and even said I was interpreting stuff about your entry when saying "SLI was the worst type", and it wasnt like that at all as I said in previous post. So, pretty much, who's being defensive when?
About your entry, I found several contradictions in your "intentions", for example why are you implying ppl is going to be defensive if you are not attacking them?
Being defensive implies a war mentality to a non war business, so you are beforehand knowing that someone is going to be defensive because you already know you are acting with a war mentality. If your intentions are clean and are being honest, truthful and peaceful, and your language use is constructive instead of destructive, why would you expect others being defensive?
All in all, I didnt get what the main intention was since you are speaking about your own type but then you are warning and giving advice to other ramdom ppl about SLIs...so its self improvement or its improvement of SLI or it is for warning others?
That entry in my perspective, seems more like a rant, hidden grievances against some SLIs in the form of unrequested advices and warnings about how to deal with such problematic SLI that you do nothing more than criticize and portray as some sort of monstrous childs. Like man, you even said ppl should avoid arguments with SLI because they were the kind of peopleHence the ppl joking in here. Wonder if it would be better if I literally posted your quotes.who will smile at you to hide their contempt or disagreement.
Anyway, not my own opinion, its the idea your writing is giving. None understood it differently, not me, not even ppl who antagonize with me since she even took it as far as commenting in your entry about my enneatype.
Then, unless those traits are your personal faults (which would be unfortunate), you seem to be judging and criticizing other SLIs and trying to read their intentions and giving some unrequsted advices and warnings to random imaginary strangers ( which consist more likely in avoid and ignore SLIs because they are crazy and mean, even when you say lack of open communication is a problem for SLIs) more than being interested in improvement of relations.
I think that entry would be a great personal self reflection, but if its not about your own faults and how did you improved them, but those from others (God knows who), how much value can it have? Its useful when you, yoursef deal with that personally and get effective ways to overcome that, saying how mean others are and how others should take them due their personality type is not very constructive neither improving imo.
Its as useful as you not even taking your own advices for dealing with SLIs ...for example you proceed to talking to me three times when at the same time you said this:
"The right approach (that does not hurt anyone's pride - especially the touchy pride of juvenile SLIs) is to leave them to their own devices until they change their approach and think that that they did it all on their own. "
...you even changed your words in some parts in there after some posters in here mentioned it, thats how trustworthy your observations were.
Lack of communication, hidden grievances, apprupt choices that seemingly come out of nowhere.
One of the most serious drawbacks of the SLI is his lack of open communication about anything that bothers him in another person or the relationship. Possible arguments that result from a direct approach can disturb the harmony of a relationship (which the SLI fears). Harsh words and confrontation will haunt the SLI for hours and days and can even worsen his health.Anyway, I'd go on an on. But not now. Hopefully it could help for some improvement, and you not taking it in defensive way.Lack of communication, hidden grievances, apprupt choices that seemingly come out of nowhere.
One of the most serious drawbacks of the SLI is his lack of open communication about anything that bothers him in another person or the relationship. Possible arguments that result from a direct approach can disturb the harmony of a relationship (which the SLI fears). SLIs don't back off from confrontation (3D-Se). In case of emotional downpours and loud accusations from their opponent the SLI won't allow himself to show any sign of emotion. He will stand like a rock. However, harsh words and confrontations that do wound him can haunt the SLI for hours and days and even worsen his health.
I'd think in directing at you some PM. From the chats we have had in the past I have never seen a truly interest in improvement such as you say you have, I dont know if something I could say would be helpful in any way. I've seen honest and pretty staightforward in my communication with you in the past (like now), even at expense of yours or others sympathies in here, but it doesnt seem to have so much positive effect. I may probably do it anyway later. In the meanwhile I'll leave open my box if you want to address something.
Last edited by Hope; 08-02-2018 at 03:40 PM.
@Aki,
I don't think you're helping Cosmic by taking her personal rants about herself out in the public, that's rather disrespectful. You say that what was commented of that list should make her reflect about how she's not an SLI, because someone, Reyne, made a list of how those were Beta traits, but well, Reyne thought to be Beta yesterday and now he's Alpha, and I honestly think he's still off... so maybe he's not the Bible. And seriously, those things you listed are taken out of context and it's easy to comment on them as Reyne did, harsh= Se, smuggy=no, pinkytoe= alpha, etc... (and they were rather Te definitions, "this goes here, that goes there"), but these traits don't make someone anything, socionically speaking. Anyway, I think the way you behaved towards Cosmic can borrow some of those adjectives now : p
Cheating: The cheating stereotype of SLI comes from SLIs need for space, they feel suffocated in close distances, so they can act cruely or ignore you to make you leave, if you don't leave, they might cheat. They can be really oblivious to people's feelings. If they want to do something, they do it, despite everything.
Know it all and fakery: The ones I knew didn't try to appear as someone they are not. They were knowlegable about their interests and shared that only with few friends.
Clouded and inefficient thinking style: Yeah their thinking can be clouded, especially in relation to people.
Ignorance: Not really. I think this is not type related.
Stubbornness: I used to convince my two SLI friends easily in any topic, one was quite aware of his weakness and trusted my words, so it was not a problem. But there was times, when he didn't want to accept some things and only believed his opinion, but if you explained to him in a factual way without mentioning sensivities of people or reactions, he would consider your opinion.
Lonely: Sometimes I think I might be autistic, but when I see an SLI, I change my mind.
Low self esteem: hungry for praise: This has some truth in my experience. In my interations with SLIs, we will be talking about a random topic, then out of nowhere, they say something negative about themselves but then they quickly say "forget it" or something else.
Prickly: With strangers, they're usually polite. But the closer you get to an SLI, the more possibility of them hurting you. I've had very strange memories with SLIs, when I was younger, I was with friends, and this SLI came to play with us, I remember it like yesterday, he told me cruel words even though he didn't know me, but the day after that, he came and fixed some of my stuff (their way of getting closer).
I'll add one:
Moody: Today they think this, tomorrow they think that, they're very hard to understand if not impossible, because they live in the present. They treat people around them according to their mood (often were in an irritated one).
Haha, ok?But, what personal rants about herself I speak out in public? The entry was not about herself, it was about SLIs in general and it was directed towards SLIs/ppl of other types since she gave warnings and advices about problematic SLI. I'd have zero problem if it were a list about herself, (which is not, is a criticisism about SLIs in general), I already said this to her in the post above.
Second I didn't knew I was the personal coach of someone in the forum. How do you think you and I could help her (besides taking sides in this matter) and in which area she needs to be helped on? Third, Cosmic scored LSI and started calling herself SLI after Adam confused her and I in a thread. Anyway, I didn't knew typing someone was forbidden. Or that saying I do agree stuff from the list seem a criticism from rational to irrational or Ti vs Te was forbidden too. I don't think there are rules against it, actually. I've said I don't know how adults care so much about that in this forum. And actually I care little what ppl self type, as others said, character matters more than type, and I think thats more certain than typings. But whatever? I think adults can get emotional over almost anything.
And about Reyne, he changing his type doesnt mean his analysis are wrong. You are practically saying nothing with your lines, he did. But I guess I shouldnt gave constructive? It is wrong too, like typing and asking for opinions.
About context, I could copy paste her literal words in the list, I doubt this would make it better. I dont know if you read the entry already or just went full to comment in here and take sides out of the blue, but I think the entry speaks for itself She saying "this are my observations and if you get offe ded you are being deffensive" doesnt change the context for good I think.
Anyway, don't worry, I get what you are trying to say, that others should be tip toe around others, even if they write warnings and say awful things about our type (not themselves but others because shes not like them), neither mention it ever, we should pretend it doesnt exist, and its not happening. We should also not speak up our minds unless we are dealing with sol, to whom you give your consent to bash about for totally non personal reasons.
Finally, wonder how and which traits you see on the list that are fitting me, I doubt you know me personally like for assuring such things. Btw, in which moment did I said this?
" You say that what was commented of that list should make her reflect about how she's not an SLI, "
This is a total invention of yours, I wonder were did you read that, honestly. Best part is that I actually know now that you don't preach with example, since you are not polite, not honest and certainly not fair. Wonder how you think that I can fix those traits that you are trying to fit in me since thats not even mentioned in her entry. Guess at least you should be thankful because unlike you I've never taken part and sides in your fights with forum members to invent stuff and say your an awful person. Thank you, I get it now
Last edited by Hope; 08-01-2018 at 12:30 PM.
All I can say about this is that @Aki should change her TIM to "IEEs sexbot" and @Cosmic Teapot needs to go decaf for a night.
We will all be friends again tomorrow morning.
@Aki
aha, it's different when you make a list of traits for a random type or if you make that list for your type, especially if you're giving negative traits. you're gonna be super personal in the list of traits, and this is quite obvious. then hers was a personal blog, and you took that out in here to ridicule it, and so ridicule her perception of herself, because "those things are not my type". that was a bit off, to me. anyway it was you to say "Hopefully it could help for some improvement... I doubt what I say could improve you...", above, yet by your first post the intentions seem really the opposite. I don't want to help Cosmic, just pointing out at the irony of all of this. It was you to open up a thread about how Fe people are wtv rude you said about them, yet it's not ok if someone says that of your type. It was always you to say how absurd it is to get salty over one's typing, but this is in here is just... getting salty over one's type. lol You're free to speak your mind, who's saying the contrary, just don't expect people to follow you wtv you say, don't expect people to not comment on it.
thx for the list of free insults ^^
Aki ignore
Ooo I don't see any difference with that being about yours or others type. If you are talking about a type you are including others there too, not just you. the big difference is I'm asking in this thread, I was asking in Fe thread, she was not asking, she was assuring those traits were from SLIs and NOT from hers but others. I dont get how difficult is to understand that, is there, she said it literal, those collection of negative observations were about SLIs. I dont recall posting a collection of negative Fe traits, it was just about asking if they used to do X thing, which others got wrong, too. Pretty much like now. The fact its in a blog doesnt change much, its the same shes posting it publicily, ppl read, comment and discuss about it anyway. Its like saying we should not discuss neither take Strats texts out of her blog because those are her personal observations of types and it'd be disrespectful.
Second I didnt took it to ridicule but to ask about it, since I didnt even mentioned her and most were not even reading/aware of her entry (you included), I said they deserved respect just in case ppl had read them. I'm perfectly fine with type observations if they are true, I think hers are not, asking if others have observed the same was the goal of this thread. You have a pretty retorted, negative and fatalistic view of others and you practically think that you are able to foresight their true intentions.-thats admirable (sarcasm).- Thats exactly the same reason why I think her entry was not good either. Is retorted, negative and fatalistic.
About the free insults, you are welcome? It wasnt me the one saying you fitted that ridiculous list, dear.
You'd do me a favor if you ignore me, honestly. Since its obvious your intromisions are more likely for creating conflict, separation and animosity between parts. Then I wasnt saying you could not "notice" neither disagree in whatever you like, different is making assumptions, guessing ppl intentions, insulting me and inventing stuff that I didn't even said.
Last edited by Hope; 08-02-2018 at 03:43 PM.
Aki you're delusional or smth, all I've conveyed in my last post is what you yourself have just repeated in here. And yeah, good luck in selling me that your initial post sentences weren't mocking said list and the "admirable people who suggested similar traits". Lol good trolling
Wait, what?"admirable people who suggested similar traits".
The admirable stuff was about you being able to foresight ppl intentions, and it was sarcasm, but obviously you didnt get it. Lol who's deludional?
And I do get now you cant understand what you read you just go full on assuming, inventing and imagining stuff. What I said was a response to you, I'm not repeating you.
Last edited by Hope; 08-02-2018 at 03:45 PM.
1. Iniquity - (wow, I've never heard of this word until now, and when I look it up on Google, constant bible definitions show up about immoral wickedness. o.o) But I've never seen this kind of behavior in my own personal experiences or with other SLIs.
2. Injustice - SLIs are pretty reasonable when it comes down to it, and won't move forward with anything without a said reason. Very set in their ways like that. No injustice within them personally, but depending on the circumstance could be perceived as well, especially if their known stubbornness comes into play. This resonates it with me, especially, and in a couple of SLIs I've seen.
3. Cheating - No personal experience with wanting to cheat, but have been cheated on. It's not fun. But the feeling sprouts from unfulfillment, boredom, regaining familiar feelings from the beginning, or feeling too confined, which I can see SLIs struggling with. No experiences with other SLIs being cheated on, to my knowledge.
4. Smugness - I don't personally pride myself with achievements. If it is, I use it in a joking sense. But I'm not a big fan of people being smug anyway.
5. Know-it-all: As a defensive move, yes. When others have tried to explain things to me multiple times that I feel I have sufficient knowledge in, it's annoyed me into thinking I'm incapable. But with my experience and a couple of SLIs I've come across, this behavior is almost uncommon.
6. Clouded and inefficient thinking style: Inefficient thinking? No. Maybe it's me being bias, but SLIs come to good conclusions and tend to be excellent problem solvers in general. Clouded though? Oh yes, especially when telling stories and describing people and their emotions.
7. Ignorance - Maybe to others perspectives and feelings when mad or upset. However, I think this can just be a universal thing, not necessarily type-related.
8. Stubbornness - YES. Ask my family, my best friend, my husband, they will all agree on me beating them in a most stubborn contest. Unless someone sits down with me and communicates sincerely, the stubbornness seeps in. With a few other SLIs, for sure, but a couple were really good at hiding it and being more adaptable with listening to their loved one's opinions, and not letting their stubborn natures get in the way.
9. Touchiness - SLIs appearance, at least in my experience, comes across cold and unapproachable. It can depend on upbringing, but I don't like touchiness from strangers and friends. I only really accept hugs from my best friend and husband and almost always receive them from my family. (even if they're awkward feeling xD)
10. Childishness - This can be more universal with any type honestly. With one SLI in particular, his stubborn arguments could come across childish because of their heightened angry or upset emotional state.
11. Lack of open communication/fear of confrontation: Lack of open communication.... with some, yes, and with others, no. It all depends on how developed SLIs empathy and sympathy is, and disregarding their stubborn mindsets in the process. It's SLIs wanting to trust someone enough to share with them. That's where the fear of confrontation can come in sometimes too. The SLIs I've known have had little to no problem with provoking confrontation when they think it's necessary. With me, I only have a fear of confrontation if it's someone I know who is capable of emotionally manipulating me into thinking I'm wrong or crazy to feel the way I do.
12. Special snowflake syndrome: Like the word syndrome strongly implies, this is universal for any type. xD
13. Manipulation - I've never felt like I have manipulated someone, and haven't personally seen SLIs try to. I honestly hope I haven't made someone feel like I have, or they think I did.
14. Untrustworthy - SLIs can be great listeners. They have the ability to console and be there for their loved ones, like anyone in the world, of course. I pride myself on being loyal to my family and friends. I don't share private information with their friends or family, because that's their business. I will often share them with my mom, mostly to garner advice and understanding of these secrets.
15. Unconstructive - Like the stereotype suggests, SLIs are pretty blunt. But this one rings true, with the few SLIs I've met and myself. SLIs generally share their criticisms and opinions, even when no one asks them to. But it depends on their upbringing on how quiet or loud they are about it. So unconstructive? No.
16. Misunderstood - Sometimes I do feel that way. But SLIs can be pretty private about their thoughts and opinions, so the fault is more likely to end up on them for misunderstanding. It mostly occurs with me trying to be sarcastic and humorous in general. The tone I take can sound too serious or too harsh, so misunderstandings occur occasionally.
17. Low self-esteem: hungry for praise - In my personal experience, I will use sarcasm and sometimes make jabs at myself in hopes that someone will reassure me otherwise. Maybe they'll think twice and take a full interesting second look at me. I'm not constantly looking for praise, but mostly reassurance on how I handle my emotions and problems with others. Low self-esteem is a universal thing, but I see SLIs can take a toll on themselves when monotony becomes too much and they think they won't amount to anything fun and exciting for themselves.
18. Lonely - Loneliness is universal for any type, of course. But I can get lonely from time to time, mainly with how much I struggle with festering hurt feelings. The privacy within SLIs can be damaging to a point to where they will feel lonely often until someone or something comes along and encourages them to open up more.
Hope this helps! ^_^
Yeah. I love Pokémon.
Actually you misunderstood what I said, because I was referring that to your op, where you say "This thread was inspired by the words and posts of some delta members and other things that other users have said in the past who deserve all my respect." I rephrased that line as admirable instead of respectable, oh my bad. Full on assuming, aha...
The admirable stuff was about you being able to foresight ppl intentions, and it was sarcasm, but obviously you didnt get it. Lol who's deludional?
And I do get now you cant understand what you read you just go full on assuming, inventing and imagining stuff. What I said was a response to you, I'm not repeating you. Lol
Assuming it seems. I don't recall being disrespectful at her, more than she saying I was because of liking posts didnt agreed with her observations (self defending where? and who was taking stuff personally?) and you seconded her putting words in my mouth (like now) changing and twisting stuff. I think we should stop this conversation now, its awful.
I hope you putting me on ignore and respecting that agreement in the future, and sorry if you truly got offended.
Yeah, I didn't put in your mouth anything you didn't say yourself. Just reread what you wrote? It's the fact that you've used her list without any mention of her, used that list to sort of prove how nothing in there fits an SLI, how rude that list was, and then ignored her first reply, to be disrespecting. And I'm criticizing this behaviour in here, not yourself. I want to believe you're better than this online drama. Adios.
I quoted you, you literally misread and then invented stuff I never said, you even had to corrected yourself. Incredible you denying this when the quotes are above.
No, those are your assumptions. Someone said drama?It's the fact that you've used her list without any mention of her, used that list to sort of prove how nothing in there fits an SLI, how rude that list was, and then ignored her first reply, to be disrespecting.
good, bye.And I'm criticizing this behaviour in here, not yourself. I want to believe you're better than this online drama. Adios.
I am sure individual SLE/LSEs on this forum won't throw a hissy fit because someone made negative statements about a type they just happen to belong to. Only Ethicals and especially Fi-leads take impersonal comments personally. As for ESIs, the reason they can get "hated on" sometimes is that they go out of their way to appear offended and outraged by things that are probably best ignored or taken in jest.
SLIs don't tend to push themselves into a situation that makes them enemies. They simply do their own thing quietly in the background, like nomads. This does make them more well liked in general than some other types, but also less well understood.
For the record, most of the supposed SLI traits OP listed are non-type related. There is a strong tendency on this site to draw inferences between Socionics theory and a whole raft of phenomena that have no relationship to it, often going so far as a person attempting to make observation fit theory and ignoring contrary evidence.
This exactly. SLI are introverts, its unlikely relating out there so much with random ppl as for those traits actually appearing in interactions. I'm not sure of SLI being liked more than any other type. Fe PoLR often makes ppl uncomfortable. One of the most likeable types are SEI, imo. I also don't think Fi>Fe takes more ofense than others about criticism of any kind in my experience.
@Aki thank you for reading my blog post and posting a response. As I stated the entry is a collection of observations of many SLIs and since I identify myself with that sociotype, too, it includes self-reflection. I wrote warnings at the beginning in hopes it would discourage anyone from acting so rashly.
Sadly I have a different opinion on our past interactions. I remember them as primarily negative and unpredictable. Talking to you is like walking on eggshells. I'll see that I include what I learned from this thread in future entries.
@ooo I apologize (to you) that this thread got out of hand. As far as I understand you're not taking sides but point out inappropriate behavior. Thank you for saying the things that I could not say and I appreciate your opinion. I too stepped out of line when I included Raver and MioQ and I'm relieved that both of them are forgiving enough to not call me out on that.
Last edited by Cosmic Teapot; 08-01-2018 at 04:09 PM.
I actually doubt those were from many SLIs, since you are kinda young and SLIs pretty introverted in real life interactions.
Then, I think is wrong for you criticizing them without taking a look and fixing yourself first. As I said, stuff is constructive when it comes from you as individual, not as type, and you talk about how did you improved your own character failures and tendencies (those were missed in your entry). Not when you write full rants about the negative traits of others in sites taking personality as an excuse, instead of talking at them directly about whats bothering you in you real life and looking if there is a way to fix your relations. Wonder how a list of how SLIs can be mean would make others act less rashly. I didn't saw any conciliatory discourse in there.
And about the eggshells, its not me the one saying you are being disrespectful in each ocassion, not even now, even when I think your list was unrealistic and fatalistic. But whatevs, keep writing rants about SLIs, I'd keep doing what I think is constructive for me. I think thats the idea of the forum. Sorry anyway if you took offense for me asking about your list in here.
Last edited by Hope; 08-01-2018 at 02:34 PM.
yeah sorry all, I guess I've overreacted over smth v stupid. peace x
I love my SLI husband and so do other people who meet him. He's kind, accepting, and enjoys other people and they him. My Dad was SLI and everyone always said, "I really like your Dad". Mellow, kind, not-judgmental. One of my brothers is SLI and he was always well-liked.Not a large social circle for any of those but totally loyal to family and the friends they do have. I have a friend who is a SLI; I have moved away from her now, but she is a very well-liked, quiet sort of person, and a few friends and colleaugues who are the devoted, quiet sort, in her unusual job, which is a tugboat captain - she does all her own maintenance on the boat! Engine and exterior. That latter is mostly the winter work, where all her colleagues for that work are male and not always so friendly about the woman in their midst doing man's work...
"A man with a definite belief always appears bizarre, because he does not change with the world; he has climbed into a fixed star, and the earth whizzes below him like a zoetrope."
........ G. ........... K. ............... C ........ H ........ E ...... S ........ T ...... E ........ R ........ T ........ O ........ N ........
"Having a clear faith, based on the creed of the Church, is often labeled today as fundamentalism... Whereas relativism, which is letting oneself be tossed and swept along
by every wind of teaching, looks like the only
attitude acceptable to today's standards." - Pope Benedict the XVI, "The Dictatorship of Relativism"
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This is true. My intention is not to offend, this is my honest opinion about them based on my experience. SLIs hide their flaws really well if they want to. They can be a devil to you and no one hear of that. I remember a member here named socio? wrote about her experience with an SLI and how he might have had narcissitic personality disorder, how he treated her like she didn't exist after being crazy about her, I had a kinda similar thing happen to me. It is really bad when SLI treat someone like that, then put the blame on them when they try to tell them about it, making the other seem like the bad guy and refusing to take responsibility for what happened. This is a pattern I observed in many SLIs, and to be sure of it, I have seen others talk about it in other forums. SLIs appear likeable to strangers and people who don't know them well but there is a dark side to them that they only show to a close person. This was a hard pill to swallow for me, but it's the truth about them...
I'm only writing this because when I see people thinking that SLIs are angels (unlike Se ego types for example), it seems wrong to me, ofcourse they have their good traits, but I guess this thread is made for the bad. I hope SLIs here don't get offended (this is all from my personal experience and what I heard from others, it is not directed at anyone).
I wouldn't call SLI the worst type ever.
My dad I'm pretty certain is an SLI. Probably the person I'm most certain about. I need to get out more and find more people of various types, but I can tell about my experience being raised by an SLI father, and how some things on the list pertain.
People consider him difficult to work with and kind of rude (common adjectives I hear addressed at his person: dick, asshole, screwball). Once some woman was acting kind of hysterical and crazy in front of him and he just stood there and watched, told her to 'go die' with a poker face and turned around and walked off. I wasn't there, but someone that was told me. I got a good laugh at it, because it is so my dad to do that. Whenever my mom calls him and starts going on about things, he literally hangs up on her. He wakes up in the middle of the night and sometimes would just start, as my mom put it, 'bitching'. He really liked calling my mom looney toons. He hurt her feelings a lot as she said, saying 'mean hateful things' to her. He used to have flares of anger when he was younger but he was never violent. He's settled down a lot more as he's gotten older.
I just want to say I love my dad, he's always been there for me when I needed him. I could call him now and ask him to help me with something, and he'd be right there. He hasn't exactly been faithful in his marriage to my mother, but he'd never leave her. I think maybe if she wasn't always on the go and never home, it wouldn't have happened. Even if my mother annoys the shit out of him, he still loves her and would never leave her in a million years. He's also kind of distant and secretive. Sometimes I get this feeling I don't know my dad that well. My husband has worked with him and I feel he knows him better. What are his views on religion, what's his favorite song? I couldn't tell you. I put in an Eagles CD with him in the car once and he liked that quite a bit. But I don't think he even generally listens to music.
He's a really hard worker, knows a lot about what he does, and does it well. But he knows how to relax and unwind in the evening and really knows how to enjoy life. Once he got a bunch of grape fruits (he has some kind of grapefruit obsession) and was telling me all about them and how I really needed to try the incredible grapefruit. Even though he really knows how to relax in the evenings, I wouldn't consider him lazy at all. He just takes life at a pretty good relaxed pace. He would spend times with me in the evenings after he quit working. We'd play checkers, darts, ping pong, battleship, video games...and it was actually a lot of fun.
He rarely came to my extracurricular activities at school. My friends couldn't believe I had a dad since he was MIA a lot, but I actually didn't mind. He was never that overbearing or over-involved parent, which I appreciated. And I don't know...I kind of got it. My dad and I are actually quite a bit alike in a lot of ways.
He does things for people, like if someone is sick he'll take care of them. When my grandma, his mom died, he went down south to my grandfathers house and saw it was in bad shape and cleaned the house for him and mowed, and never said a word about it to anyone. But I saw what he was doing and thought it was really considerate and nice. He does things like that for people to show he cares, because I think he has a hard time expressing it. He gets really awkward about saying I love you to people. His voice gets real low and he gets all bashful.
He can be kind of touchy, like if I don't come around for a while, he'll be like 'who's that?' to my mom when I'm talking to her on the phone. It's like he gets offended, but you might not even know about it, but he says side comments here and there to let you know.
But SLI, the worst type ever? Nah. Maybe difficult to work with or understand, but I guess that's why they are IEE's dual
Or, more likely, they don't "govern" at all.
Yeah but all Te types are a bit like you describe, or at least those are the "standard" complaints you hear about people regarding Te doms or creative.I wouldn't call SLI the worst type ever.
My dad I'm pretty certain is an SLI. Probably the person I'm most certain about. I need to get out more and find more people of various types, but I can tell about my experience being raised by an SLI father, and how some things on the list pertain.
People consider him difficult to work with and kind of rude (common adjectives I hear addressed at his person: dick, asshole, screwball). Once some woman was acting kind of hysterical and crazy in front of him and he just stood there and watched, told her to 'go die' with a poker face and turned around and walked off. I wasn't there, but someone that was told me. I got a good laugh at it, because it is so my dad to do that. Whenever my mom calls him and starts going on about things, he literally hangs up on her. He wakes up in the middle of the night and sometimes would just start, as my mom put it, 'bitching'. He really liked calling my mom looney toons. He hurt her feelings a lot as she said, saying 'mean hateful things' to her. He used to have flares of anger when he was younger but he was never violent. He's settled down a lot more as he's gotten older.
I just want to say I love my dad, he's always been there for me when I needed him. I could call him now and ask him to help me with something, and he'd be right there. He hasn't exactly been faithful in his marriage to my mother, but he'd never leave her. I think maybe if she wasn't always on the go and never home, it wouldn't have happened. Even if my mother annoys the shit out of him, he still loves her and would never leave her in a million years. He's also kind of distant and secretive. Sometimes I get this feeling I don't know my dad that well. My husband has worked with him and I feel he knows him better. What are his views on religion, what's his favorite song? I couldn't tell you. I put in an Eagles CD with him in the car once and he liked that quite a bit. But I don't think he even generally listens to music.
He's a really hard worker, knows a lot about what he does, and does it well. But he knows how to relax and unwind in the evening and really knows how to enjoy life. Once he got a bunch of grape fruits (he has some kind of grapefruit obsession) and was telling me all about them and how I really needed to try the incredible grapefruit. Even though he really knows how to relax in the evenings, I wouldn't consider him lazy at all. He just takes life at a pretty good relaxed pace. He would spend times with me in the evenings after he quit working. We'd play checkers, darts, ping pong, battleship, video games...and it was actually a lot of fun.
He rarely came to my extracurricular activities at school. My friends couldn't believe I had a dad since he was MIA a lot, but I actually didn't mind. He was never that overbearing or over-involved parent, which I appreciated. And I don't know...I kind of got it. My dad and I are actually quite a bit alike in a lot of ways.
He does things for people, like if someone is sick he'll take care of them. When my grandma, his mom died, he went down south to my grandfathers house and saw it was in bad shape and cleaned the house for him and mowed, and never said a word about it to anyone. But I saw what he was doing and thought it was really considerate and nice. He does things like that for people to show he cares, because I think he has a hard time expressing it. He gets really awkward about saying I love you to people. His voice gets real low and he gets all bashful.
He can be kind of touchy, like if I don't come around for a while, he'll be like 'who's that?' to my mom when I'm talking to her on the phone. It's like he gets offended, but you might not even know about it, but he says side comments here and there to let you know.
But SLI, the worst type ever? Nah. Maybe difficult to work with or understand, but I guess that's why they are IEE's dual
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
No, Te types are perfect, they're never wrong and they're always kind and nice because all bad things are Se in socionics.
fixed, let's not omit the culprit of all obnoxiously loud & evil things in the world
It's puzzling that an SLI can accomplish all of these feats when they are asleep 98% of the time. How do the accused plead?
This is just a personal anecdote but Fe PoLRs don't make me feel uncomfortable, more the reverse.
ILEs I tend to have a relatively natural flow of information with (I could be one, although I am now leaning towards IEE, for a number of reasons I prefer to leave my type empty), while SLE can find me annoying, a little too frivolous and chaotic. However, I kind of feel a bit sorry for them, the men anyway, as they have IEI women as duals
Aesthetically, SLI has a kind of earthy wildness, again like a nomad or lone wolf. I relate to their individualism and find their harmony with the natural world very appealing. LSI is also grounded in this way, but has a rigid, binary style that I find off putting if over-exposed to.
Well Se egos will tell you directly what they think of you while Si egos are more likely to give you the silent treatment and just shun you.
I prefer the latter approach in general - less drama is created that way and oftentimes it is better to just mind your own business.
Hm I'm not sure this is Se/Si related, I have seen other types being like you described an Se ego and some Se ego like ISxj who give you the silent treatment.
But SLIs have a way of cutting off people that is really off-putting, out of nowhere (when they feel suffocated in a relation) they will do something that hurts the other person. This is a behavior that needs a serious treatment and it is not mentioned here in this forum maybe because most SLIs don't allow themselves to be that close to people, as to prevent this from happening.
But you can turn a curse into a blessing and the opposite too. There is no sociotype worse than the other. If you find an SLI who is aware of this in himself and fights it even if he fails, then he is an amazing person (I have great sympathy for this kind of SLIs), but if you find an SLI who thinks this behavior is normal, then there is a problem here.
I had similar experiences. Stratiyevskaya has many descriptions on her own blog that support your pov. In her stories SLIs can act horribly if they want to. All in all they're just human. And humans can be repulsive and flawed. The problem is that those descriptions are not translated yet.
edit: most notably the SLI-EIE-conflict relation
Last edited by Cosmic Teapot; 08-02-2018 at 11:49 AM.
I think you're missing the point for the sake of a joke
There are good and bad versions of every type, usually dependent on how they were raised and or their early influences. No type is the best or worst, because every configuration has its strengths and weaknesses. SLIs tend to to be defensive and will parry any offenses that they might perceive, real or imagined; they rarely start confrontations but they can certainly be effective at ending them. I've met many upstanding SLI in whom people could actually entrust their lives; however, they may not be as good as other types at manufacturing social facades.......
a.k.a. I/O
So ... having ended up in this thread when in retrospect I wish I hadn't, I'm going to make a post that probably will make me at least one enemy. Sorry.
Unless I'm missing or misconstruing something, it looks like @Aki, you created a thread with a provocative title, basically a highly negative yes-or-no question, followed by a list of extremely negative traits. And this was mostly based on, and/or mostly in response to, a blog post by @Cosmic Teapot.
The post was not presented in a balanced way, such as, "SLIs, the good and the bad," with a transparent statement of the context that you disagreed with Cosmic's blog post.
Okay. Such things happen. But here's my point:
If I reread that list of characteristics, interestingly I do feel manipulated by this thread's pretext. I found the thread very unclear, and the attitudes driving it unfortunately seem smug, stubborn, childish, and so on. Therefore the thread has not disproven Cosmic's observations and may instead support them.
Of course any "type" can behave these ways--I certainly can. It may all be NTR, but I'm struck by the irony.
LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”
Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”
LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”
Ghosting
No, it is just wrong that individual faults, which can apply to any type are erroneously grouped together as if those are inherent within a particular type, but are just projections of our own stereotypes and biases of what we think the type represents. It adds to the already overstereotyped perceptions that go well beyond the empirical realities.I think you're missing the point for the sake of a joke
Socionics: The art of projecting our perceptions. We all are prone to it.
@golden thanks for your input I'm very sorry to hear that this thread is making you feel that way. The entry you mention didn't presented the good and bad of the sociotype either. Anyway, the title was not based in the entry. It was based in this post.
I'm sorry if this thread is annoying you or if I'm giving the impression that I was trying to humiliate CT, it was not my intention at all and I stated that in the OP. I'm very sorry if the list is making people uncomfortable. I was curious to see if others had experienced what's on the list with SLIs too. In fact, it was just based in the negative traits observed by those members and their literal words.
Last edited by Hope; 08-02-2018 at 03:28 PM.
Thanks for being receptive to what I said. There's no serious problem, I just don't want to inadvertently participate in a conflict. (I want to know when I'm in one so I can tear the house down good and proper!)
LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”
Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”
LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”
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