I think I am going insane

[MidnightWilderness]

Unfortunately we think that craziness means dangerous and the films on TV about people with mental illnesses do not depict reality. There are too many myths about this thing and it is still stigmatized and misunderstood.

But even just defining things as mental illness without really thinking deeply on it is wrong... Unless the story you wrote involved actual people in your life there should have been no questions.

And just like... @Nobody without notifying or asking your dad about the situation?

[Nobody]

But even just defining things as mental illness without really thinking deeply on it is wrong... Unless the story you wrote involved actual people in your life there should have been no questions.

And just like... @Nobody without notifying or asking your dad about the situation?

That's what was so fucked up, it was a fictional story and they had no cause; and under Florida Baker Act law, they don't have to notify parents beforehand or talk to them. The most bizarre thing about it is that no one talked to me about the story at all, not even the psychiatrist. He just assumed I was mentally ill when really I just had issues. And this was all done and deliberated behind my back. I wish I had money to sue back then or that my parents cared about suing them, but they didn't.

[aixelsyd]

Yeah. The messed up part is someone can make something up that you are suicidal or misinterpret certain behaviors as suicidal and that's all it takes to lose your rights. It's why I hate the mental health system and have developed a disdain for psychology or at least how it's practiced here. At psychwards, they will diagnose you with some BS without taking the time to really talk to you or inquire about long term behaviors. It absolutely sickens me. People deemed as mentally ill have very few rights and few people are advocating on their behalf. People think psychwards are there to help but they just make things so much worse. Exceptions exist, but there is a lot of violation of free will just because some people won't mind their own business.

And it's messed up how teachers can Baker Act a kid without parental knowledge. The last time I was in the psychward, I could always hear the staff screaming at the kids. I mean wtf.

[jason_m]

A lot of what you're talking about sounds like clinical depression to me as well. Someone 'insane' would have problems with things like voices or odd beliefs or maybe just have huge elated feelings which last for hours and then 'crashes' that are filled with huge bouts of depression. Coming from someone mentally ill myself, I would just go to my family doctor and see if he/she could prescribe an antidepressant and take it from there...

[AWellArmedCat]

@MidnightWilderness
Go see a mental health professional. For real, mental illness is a serious issue and though it might make you feel better to vent (and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that) people online will not be able to adequately assess and treat the things you're dealing with. It sounds to me like you need help we simply can't give you. If you have a close family member or friend that you trust then please open up to them about how you're feeling, but remember that they're not a therapist. If you struggle with the idea of seeking professional help then see if said friend/family member will go with you at least the first time.
I wish you health and happiness. Please take care of yourself.

[MidnightWilderness]

Thanks for your concern @AWellArmedCat

And I knew that this forum would not help so much, but only give momentary catharsis.

Technically no I don't really have anyone to open up to, and I have tried talking to therapists, but it's very hard for me to explain my feelings.

I will try my best to just take care of myself at the current moment, like I always have.

[Djinn]

@MidnightWilderness
Hey, I hope you have had some more good days recently!

[Beautiful sky]

pandemic burnout?

[Sol]

I have felt unable to really connect with someone on a spiritual level ever since I was little...

It can be possibly to improve by a communication, where you imagine that becoming other human and perceive the world like him: think, feel and sensate. This process also happens in friends and love pair communication. It's significantly mb controlled by your will - to allow accept the personality of other human inside of you, to join with other human in one. It's alike to feel the connecton with other human (it indeed exists by telepathic format with anyone, the consciousness does not perceive this in common).
Psychologers use the similar approach for tuning to a client to get higher unconsciosnes trust to them and such get higher influence on other human.

For your unconsciousness by this technics you accept other human as a friend. If it's a human of other sex - this predisposes to get feelings to him. So don't choose inappropriate ones taking this possibility.

> I don't think I will ever be able to connect with someone

It may be harder, but not impossibly with more efforts. Any skill mb tried to be developed by a practice.
What you describe relates to neurotic problems. "Mad" people with psychoses have low selfcriticism.

To solve the described you need communications. If it's hard for you - try psychology or psychotherapy groups as a start.
You live among people. To feel better it's important to feel yourself as a part with them. By an isolation you may worsen the situation.
Check what people near you more look as potential friends. Try to establish useful for both communications and cooperations with them - on any theme. Check what clubs exist by different interests, this is a variant to find what you want.
If you can be useful for other people, those can be useful for you. If you do nothing and isolate - you loose the good what other people may give to you. That it's hard to start a cooperation - does not mean that you can't make it good with efforts and more flexible ways.

Try soft antidepressant as Hypericum plant, drug stores may have it.

The help what this forum may give is mainly about types. Alike to identify it, in case you'll record a video. Hypothetically this may help to find people which are easier to connect with them "spiritually" - people fitting to your friendship abbility. To connect with wrong ones by types is lesser useful.

[MidnightWilderness]

@Sol

>It can be possibly to improve by a communication, where you imagine that becoming other human and perceive the world like him: think, feel and sensate. This process also happens in friends and love pair communication. It's significantly mb controlled by your will - to allow accept the personality of other human inside of you, to join with other human in one. It's alike to feel the connecton with other human (it indeed exists by telepathic format with anyone, the consciousness does not perceive this in common).
Psychologers use the similar approach for tuning to a client to get higher unconsciosnes trust to them and such get higher influence on other human.

Right, I can do that already but it can be hard to find someone whose worldview is similar to mine. Even my dual and I have sort of different worldviews and that can be annoying sometimes. I can understand him mostly, but still sometimes he bothers me to death.

>If you can be useful for other people, those can be useful for you.

I'm not even useful for my dual at all. I don't even contribute to our conversations and I only agreed to take care of him out of a sense of duty and the fact that if I don't work it means extra time for studies. I am not really sure what I could give anyone at this point... Relationships should not be thought of in terms of usefulness but rather how you think the relationship will work out in the long run, if your goals align and if you both enjoy spending time with each other.

>Check what people near you more look as potential friends. Hypothetically this may help to find people which are easier to connect with them "spiritually" - people fitting to your friendship abbility. To connect with wrong ones by types is lesser useful.

I should not do this, if the people in your IR test were correctly typed then my ability to see who looks more friendly to me from a distance is shit. I have to find out what a person is like by talking to them and gauging my comfort and investment in the relationship. It is very important not to use Socionics as a factor when deciding who to be your friend, because you can find boring and awful people of every type.

[14Raptor19]

You need stretches of unknown progress to make you feel good about the past, training yourself to face the dungeon of building and camping out on the fruit orchard to finish the grassland home of fences turned into lunchboxes, and teaspoons turning into gobs of cake. Maybe science can also add a motive or flux for extending the balance scales of life with far sighted glimpses of rose crowns and item finders. The ball point pen can even release some toxic and disrepair from the journal of combinations and aspects of a higher stadium. There is always room for growth and improvement, to glow when the tide is rushing with exhilaration and inspiration, a sprite for the whole mountaintop!!

[MidnightWilderness]

You need stretches of unknown progress to make you feel good about the past, training yourself to face the dungeon of building and camping out on the fruit orchard to finish the grassland home of fences turned into lunchboxes, and teaspoons turning into gobs of cake. Maybe science can also add a motive or flux for extending the balance scales of life with far sighted glimpses of rose crowns and item finders. The ball point pen can even release some toxic and disrepair from the journal of combinations and aspects of a higher stadium. There is always room for growth and improvement, to glow when the tide is rushing with exhilaration and inspiration, a sprite for the whole mountaintop!!

Hmm I don't particularly care too much about my past, I plan to just bury it and move on. Unknown progress I am guessing, is just room to expand into something new and gain higher knowledge. I already know what I can do to better myself, but I get a little exasperated because I can be a little slow to take action and to make a decision. I just feel like there is no one in my life right now that I know well that will understand this path that I must take in my life. I have no cheerleader standing next to me but my own self. I will make it through though, I just have to make things turn out in my favor. It seems to me that there is plenty of opportunities to do so if I can manage to make it work. It's very important that I do something soon and not procrastinate with decisions and work like I usually do!

[14Raptor19]

Hmm I don't particularly care too much about my past, I plan to just bury it and move on. Unknown progress I am guessing, is just room to expand into something new and gain higher knowledge. I already know what I can do to better myself, but I get a little exasperated because I can be a little slow to take action and to make a decision. I just feel like there is no one in my life right now that I know well that will understand this path that I must take in my life. I have no cheerleader standing next to me but my own self. I will make it through though, I just have to make things turn out in my favor. It seems to me that there is plenty of opportunities to do so if I can manage to make it work. It's very important that I do something soon and not procrastinate with decisions and work like I usually do!

The battle was never alone for me, because I have strong links to higher divine watchers. But with people, there is no hope, no redemption, no color to add which drowns away any of the merciless entailment of misery and suffering. 1 thing I do with the angel world is myth making, trying to see the telescope of stardom and splendor in thinking and art. By not enhancing and rectifying the pyramid structure of evolution and calculation, we can feel overcome, burdened, annihilated. But when the steps all fall into place, the feeling is other worldly, breathtaking, theatric.

[MidnightWilderness]

@MidnightWilderness
Hey, I hope you have had some more good days recently!

Well currently my days seem to be better than when I made this post, but I really feel lethargic and worn out.

I guess I just have to start making things turn out better otherwise I will spend all my nights panicking with crippling doubt. If I make a pros and cons list that will help me figure out which option to pick, and then from there I can figure out how to make that option less shitty. Then I will be able to sleep at night.

Thank you.

[Sol]

it can be hard to find someone whose worldview is similar to mine

Anyone's worldview differs. The task is to integrate this difference in yourself to become and to feel closer to other human. To establish that "spiritual" link, to feel other human and youself as joined in one, with lesser borders between you.
With some of people, as those having good IR, this is easier and more pleasant, but possibly with anyone with some efforts. If you do not feel the connection with someone and you want this - make efforts to feel alike that human feels. It's called as introjection, partly relates to emotional compassion. It should be able to be trained and developed as anything.
The other what to do - is to feel yourself as a part of a group. People which have similar thoughts and emotions organise a "field". You may connect to such fields and to feel integrated in it. A field of the ones who likes some cookies, a nation, people in some factory, etc.

Also. As the link with other people exists permanently it's not obligate for introjection excercise to have a human near you to try to feel his state in now moment. It's easier to do when you see him. But you may do the similar in other time too. Choose people which you liked IRL. When you talk or see them - tune to them to read them, remember your state. You may return this feeling of being tuned to them when don't have them near too.
A variant. Imagine a ball of energy near your heart and send it to a human to fill him. Then get the same of his energy inside of your heart. The energy contains an information. By this way you may understand the state of other human, to feel what other human feels. You may imagine stable link with him too. Your task is to imagine that you accept his emotions, thoughts and sensations as own ones, - to become this human, to perceive the world as he: to think, feel and sensate as he. It's important to have an attirude to accept and to like what he has in the mind, so the process was easier for you. Later your mind will process what was goten, same as you do with a food.

That you have troubles with a feeling of a connection does not mean you can't. There is a lot what people need to study even for years. Someone something studies quicker, other ones slower. Someones had past conditions better to get some skills, other ones worse. By a practice you may develop skills better.
Same as people train to get physical results in a sport, the same they may develop intelligence and psyche traits.
There are who have better inborn abbilities for something and better external conditions to get some of skills, but to achieve an average level should be possibly for anyone. That skill just need to have a possibility for development. I'm sure that what relates to a compassion and related - can be trained.
For example. If an average human can run 1 km for some time, then almost anyone will can this with a training. What is needed - efforts. Everyday practice in a skill and to check a result after a time.

> if the people in your IR test were correctly typed

IR test is only about Jung types, what is not all for friendship feelings evaluation.
IRL communication is much better and longer than a test to understand a human. Also IR test needs improvements, being raw.

Usage of Jung types is not obligate to notice people which you like. If you'll want to use - that needs a training as anyhing. With understanding typology basics (dichotomies, 8 functions, IR theory) you may get initial typing skills by typing people near IRL and checking your possible type by IR effects. If you'll get positive check with >10 of people, - such skill exist. This should be enough to type well known people with acceptable chance to be correct.
To understand your type is useful to make a video and to get opinions.

The recommended plant may reduce the irritability which you mentioned. It can be placed with tea-strainer in common tea cup.

Try to do and see if it helps. Nothing to add.

[DEAD]

Well the only problem with Ti is that it jumps to conclusions too quickly sometimes...

Jumping to conclusions is my one half of my personality.

The other half is me being an overopinionated, sarcastic jerk.

What you get depends on... ehh...



Your question, ya know?

[FreelancePoliceman]

@Sol

I’m curious; was what you expressed in your post the product of your own thinking? Or was your mindset influenced by certain books or people?

[Sol]

Was what you expressed in your post the product of your own thinking? Or was your mindset influenced by certain books or people?

Any thought is the result of both: own thinking + info from external sources.
Even what has an identical form with an external source was critically processed to be accepted and selected to be used, what makes it as your too.

Among influences is the decription of love state taken from Altynov's book, ideas of New Testament and other (mind field/egregore, IR, etc). And my experience with states close to love, little esoterical practice, dealing with different types.

[Lycantrope]

I'm not even useful for my dual at all. I don't even contribute to our conversations and I only agreed to take care of him out of a sense of duty and the fact that if I don't work it means extra time for studies. I am not really sure what I could give anyone at this point... Relationships should not be thought of in terms of usefulness but rather how you think the relationship will work out in the long run, if your goals align and if you both enjoy spending time with each other.

>Check what people near you more look as potential friends. Hypothetically this may help to find people which are easier to connect with them "spiritually" - people fitting to your friendship abbility. To connect with wrong ones by types is lesser useful.

I should not do this,

You are overthinking too much, no wonder you are going crazy. Just chill for a second please.

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

Quick PSA: Some people whether intentionally or unintentionally are using socionics for gaslighting others.

Here are some reasons as to why I think I am going insane:

1. I forget to even take the minimal amount of care to myself, I got sick yesterday because I gave myself chronic dehydration.
2. I am constantly getting headaches and I am starting to have trouble relaxing or sleeping.
3. I am having mood swings all the time from feeling ok to feeling like my mind is going to implode and shut down.
4. My self esteem is getting so low that I am starting to feel worthless and useless, that I will never be able to change anything and I have so many complexes now.
5. I can't even pretend to be happy and bubbly anymore.
6. I feel so alone and I feel like no one ever listens to me, I feel like I am constantly being under attack. (Paranoia?)
7. I feel detached from everyone and I have trouble being present in a conversation.
8. I am afraid of expressing my feelings or thoughts in speech, my speech feels stunted and I feel like a child that is mute. (Again might be paranoia)
9. I get defensive, again I feel like everyone is attacking me or wants me to change...
10. I get bitchy moods all the time where I only want to complain and have another person just listen to me and not try to cheer me up (Jeez I'm selfish)
11. I have done heartless things to people and ignored or forgot their feelings.
12. Not answering messages straight away, wanting to be left alone, pushing away people who try to help me...
13. Taking people for granted...
14. Did I mention that I have been moody and felt low self esteem for my whole life?
15. An extreme amount of cognitive dissonance...
16. And here is the biggest one, I have felt unable to really connect with someone on a spiritual level ever since I was little...
etc.


I think I have a disorder... That would be one of my worst nightmares come true if so... Then I don't think I will ever be able to connect with someone, I will have to stay far away from everyone else and just self isolate... I feel lonely and pathetic and desperate for writing this but I need a little catharsis...

Are you mewing? Your symtpoms are cognitive decline of using facial muscles that collapse your skull on your brain.

[MidnightWilderness]

Are you mewing? Your symtpoms are cognitive decline of using facial muscles that collapse your skull on your brain.

No it actually has nothing to do with that... I think I was just panicking and exaggerating a little there when I made this post. I'm starting to understand my problems but it's hard to express what exactly in precise words externally... without sounding crazy. It's more of an internal personal crisis I have to solve.

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

No it actually has nothing to do with that... I think I was just panicking and exaggerating a little there when I made this post. I'm starting to understand my problems but it's hard to express what exactly in precise words externally... without sounding crazy. It's more of an internal personal crisis I have to solve.

Depression reduces cognitive functioning by collapsing the skull on the brain to stop it from funcitoning because the functioning needs are not met from the outside which would cause it to errode. And if you actually know what mewing is and you are doing mewing, then that's it.

[14Raptor19]

There is always another special sun glimmering and peering through the night owl's chronicles of higher choices and an aroma of bandwidth perception shouting through the roof of frosty climaxes and an edge of steel to gift the blushing silver meadow in an retracted hyper radiant aura!!

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

There is always another special sun glimmering and peering through the night owl's chronicles of higher choices and an aroma of bandwidth perception shouting through the roof of frosty climaxes and an edge of steel to gift the blushing silver meadow in an retracted hyper radiant aura!!

Can you feel it tho? It's only there for some. And not always
If there's always that, there's always another worse.