Still questioning after a year of info gathering, so type me!

[ashermh]

I was certain that I was an IEI after a long time researching, but alas, I now again have doubts. Two doubts, to be exact. The first is: lack of emotional faculties. While an IEI would be very good at expressing and talking about their emotions, I am not. And when asked for emotional support, I find it hard not to give advice. The "It will all be okay" comforting is not something I'm good at or support, as giving people an unrealistic image of the future is never good. I am also strictly against limiting self expression for the sake of avoiding conflict. I was led to believe (and I still may be) that I was an IEI because my views and life are very emotionally centered and I value mine and the emotions of others very highly, but not high to the point where they get in the way of personal expression (art and other such things) or where they get in the way of a realistic point of view like when giving life advice, I believe there is, I stated before, to superficial comforting). I have an inkling as well that feeling may be a lower function due to my extreme reliance on my momentary mood. I almost have to pray that my emotions are in equilibrium so that I can have a good time. I am sure of the merry dichotomy though, no the real question of my type falls to which axis of perceptional functions I fall under. This brings me to doubt 2: the Alpha quadra and my perceptional functions. I started reading into the quadra relatively recently, and was surprised that I fell under beta as an IEI, when every single description of alpha I related to almost to a tee, and I relate to only some of what beta is described as. I also greatly relate to the judicious trait, which would put me as an Ne/Si user, and I've entertained being an SEI, but almost all of my thoughts are abstract so I ditched that thought. I also relate to the Si idea of momentary comfort and enjoying small, simple pleasantries, these being something I partake in often. But then, every description of Ni I see describes my thought process perfectly, and to my knowledge, I am not a solution/idea generating machine. I consider myself an aesthete actually, which is stereotypical of Ni.

So, in addition to this information, I will do a questionnaire to paint a better picture of me for you guys.

What is beauty? What is love?

I find nature and natural things very beautiful. I love to sit in my backyard and soak in the beauty of the trees and the sun, with little birds hopping around. Food is beautiful as well, and eating is almost spiritual for me. It blows my mind to think that over thousands of years, humans have found the perfect combinations of seemingly completely separate natural plants. Also, music is very beautiful to me. I can throw on a good record and drift off into another world of pure sensation. It's not so much thinking, though there is music for that(like technically complex music, which I find fun to decode), but a wash of sensation over me that I can't really describe. love is a feeling I have for the world around me and every person/thing, as I know that nothing someone does is purely malicious, but comes from deeply rooted sorrow or anger. love is also the world and how it treats everything with the same care. Mothers are genetically programmed across species to love and care for their young, and this is proof of natures inherent love, even if it is just in the interest of survival.

What are your most important values?

I value kindness and earnest attitude as well as logical consistency and good decision making. I tend to get angry when people make decisions I deem "dumb". I also value open mindedness and free thinking. If you cannot even try to understand others point of view, there is no getting along with me.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

I consider life a spiritual experience. I think that humans as a whole are too dumb to be correct about any higher power. I do like Christian values ("love thy neighbor" and such) but have a hard time throwing away whole life to something with holes in its evidence. Also, there is too much conflict of sides for me to immediately subscribe to it. If everyone was Christian and it was presented as fact, I would probably conform.

Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

War is inevitable is you put billions of humans in one place. To much ego and power conflict. Power seems somewhat unimportant for me, useful only to achieve a goal. I don't think I get a high from having power over others like many do, though I've never been in that position so who knows.

What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

I have long conversations about philosophy, relationships, everyday happenings, and random factual knowledge. I am interested in music primarily, as I consider it my calling. I also partake in many outside activities like hiking, cycling, and scuba diving(all allow me to observe nature). I am somewhat adverse to traditional exercise due to my lack of motivation and insufficient reward. I talk to people because I feel the connection between our minds, and I like my thoughts to be understood.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Health is somewhat boring to me I'd say, and I'd strive to be more focused on my body if not for my semi-frequent month long depressive episodes. I'd say that I know health is important factually but I don't really feel it to be true. If that makes sense.

What do you think of daily chores?

They are necessary, and about half the time I like them, but the other half of the time I kind of have to force myself to do them. I guess it depends on how good of a mood I'm in.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

My favorite book is The Stranger by Albert Camus. Another favorite is Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein. I have not gotten into literature enough to know many lesser known books, so my book-vocabulary is somewhat small. I like all move genres, but I haven't watched anything recently that has left a lasting impact on me that I can remember. I usually like movies and TV shows with a really heady plot and moral/philosophical bent.

What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

I cry usually when I feel like I've been treated unfairly or if I feel like no-one cares about me. That phrase seems to play on repeat in my head. I smile especially at wholesome things, like a baby saying something cute or a dog being affectionate. These things really tug at my heartstrings.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

I feel a sense of belonging with the natural world. I usually fell the best with my close friends, family, or in nature. A calm breezy day with nothing to do is the best kind of day. I feel my worst when pressured to do work or think quickly to solve a problem.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

People see me as flaky sometimes, or not serious enough. Internally I am very serious but I tend to take life less seriously than most. This bothers people when I am "wasting my potential". I also am bad at dealing with emotions, and expressing how I feel is very fickle and I get uncomfortable quickly. I get frustrated with my dependence on my mood and my emotional instability.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

I am seen as very intelligent and very funny. I like my humor, and I like making others laugh, especially a group.

In what areas of your life would you like help?

I would like help with my emotional instability. I want someone to be there and comfort me. Also, it would be great if someone did all my work for me.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

I get into month-or-two long depressive moods where it feels impossible to do anything. I usually try my best to complete daily tasks and then drown myself in sensual pleasures to take my mind off of it. This results in me being functionally sedentary for months at a time.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

I dislike apathy for others' emotions and general coldness in other's I like warm, kind people and people with good morals(which I sometimes lack). I like people who will accommodate for others and are strong willed. I get along with theoretical or abstract minded people mostly.

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

Romance is great and I can do superficial acts of affection very well. Sex was always fickle with me, but I have grown more confidence on that front. I want a partner that accepts me for who I am and is kind but also calls me out on anything I may be doing wrong. I want a partner that is up for good natured discussion about any given topic. I want someone who is willing to try and fix issues between us rather than letting the hang in the air.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

I would try to raise them to be courteous and kind first and foremost. I will let them go down whatever path they want and will support most things. I would take measures to not hurt them with any outbursts I may have.

A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

I would try to get them into a discussion about it. I am fine with agreeing to disagree, but if they refuse to have a real talk about it, things can reduce to yelling. Inwardly I am angry only if their belief clashes with my fundamental beliefs about the world. Anything more shallow than that can usually be forgiven unless that persons argument is particularly abhorrent.

Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

I see society as a collection of different people who must interact to survive. I am just another person in society, if not a little weird in comparison to most. I consider narcissism to be a prevalent social issue. I think people put themselves on too high of a pedestal.

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

Friends kin of just fall into my lap. I would not say that I have ever actively searched for friends. Real life circumstances have put me together with other people and through that a friendship is sometimes developed. I behave very jokingly some of the time and very serious other times depending on the conversation topic. I behave very zanily and jovially usually.

How do you behave around strangers?

I am somewhat awkward around strangers. This effect is pronounced if I am feeling depressed. I can usually be somewhat sociable but I do not seek out conversation most of the time. I have come out of my shell a lot compared to when I was younger.

If you read all the way through that, thank you, and if you have any questions just ask. Thanks!

[Not A Communist Shill]

@ashermh I'm sorry no one's replied to your post yet.

While I think questionnaires such as this are useful for typing purposes, I've long lost my confidence in my typing ability as well as the usefulness of Socionics itself. I can only point you to the tests in my signature and hope that one of those members who have the skill and energy to interpret your questionnaire answers will do so! (Possibly the availability of such people is highly variable on a forum that is only moderately active).

[ashermh]

Thank you vey much for taking the time to reply. I appreciate the kind words I took the Splendid Socionics Test and got IEI as I always do, so I guess I should just accept that I probably am one and drop the whole thing.

[thegreenfaerie]

Hi Asher, based on your questionnaire I think you definitely value Fe over Fi, which it sounds like you probably already know. Although you make a good case for alpha quadra, overall it sounds like you are NF rather than SF so probably IEI > SEI. Maybe even EIE. Just my opinion, I'm not great at this.

[ashermh]

Thank you, I’ve been thinking my alpha values are just a very strong Ni insight into what is important, so naturally they would predominate in my personality.