LSEs and relationship problems... From my experience some LSEs don't get the point when someone is there for
them for just a brief time. "Here's the time
we have together, it's not much
. You'd like to stick to your usual business, well guess what, you wanted me here so we're both going to change our ways just a
little so we can make this time special together. It's not something we always do, just do it." And they always have disassociative issues with this. I think with
-PoLR, LSEs tend to picture the current situation staying the same and never changing, so when something situational comes up, like "hey I'm here now, we can do things" their weak
cannot interpret the fact that all this time that person has waited just to see them, may have some intenser feelings built up, and their schedule is only being interrupted for a short amount of time. Things aren't "going to be this way forever." Put an LSE in a setting where he/she can expect predictable results over and over and live with them. They don't understand the word "temporary," "this is just temporary." If it doesn't fit the usual bill, then they insensitively can just discard it, and that's the main reason ime they want to break out of relationships.
From my experience, LSEs need to communicate with their dual if they want relational success.
LSEs: ask the EII.
I tell you, some LSEs can be too shortsighted and simple and will come to the conclusion that their EII duals' answer is final, when the question
they asked was extremely simple or rushed, or that the EII just doesn't know, that they're being "unclear." Well, there is a lot more going on with the EII than you realize, as with all introverts there is lots of information: the access of that information is more difficult. With weak
you can't expect them to be clear when
as an introverted function is an unclear, often emotionally taxing, process and takes time to seed through and make sense of
. That's why you're there, to help her make objective sense of her feelings. Get it?
Duality. It's a complete relationship. is the logical answer to her problems. So I'll make it as simple as it gets for you: Fi is your dual's dominant function, that's why you need to stay attuned to it, ask good questions, and not settle on quick, cheap answers, like the ones you'll find here. She's there for a reason, she has a mouth, so you guys can help each other out. "Get it? It's a relationship." I think that' needs to be the catchphrase for LSE relations 101.
To the introvert, the extrovert is fast-paced and exciting. For the extrovert, it takes patience. But as all extroverts do, LSEs don't realize that they need
to help them balance their identity and shadow type, so they need to make the extra effort, which then becomes mental. Introverts realize it all the time because it's a clear weakness, but the effort is moreso physical or potential. LSE, you should help her clarify her problems, not presume you know the
or that the
doesn't exist underneath the quiet exterior. Yeah... it takes more time than the extrovert is used to. Sometimes the EII can seem like a waste of space. So to ease your duality for an extrovert, short answer: you have to make the mental effort, be communicative, constructive, and patient. The minute you stop doing that you're going to have problems. For introverts to ease their duality, they need to make the physical effort, to do the
work work, less thought and talk, more response. Don't flop around dead-seeming all the time,
be a person.
It's notalways going to stay that way. That's what I'm getting at with LSEs. When something is wrong with someone, LSEs, it's "temporary." Remember that word, "temporary." You have to help
her past it because she needs your
, advice and support. No matter if it's intense for very brief periods, it's not permanent. The rhythm of the introvert just takes more time to get into adaptive, sensible change and motion. Whatever problem she's having is not a permanent reality. This rage she's having is just her outlet for bad communication and it's being expressed, and for an introvert that's completely normal. It's a simple emotion, it probably has little to do with the deeper problem, and if she said she's sorry about it and you believe she wants to work past it, you just have to stay constructive and get deeper into communication with her and figure out what's going on. The looks and the actions are deceiving... you're dealing with an introvert, therefore you have to
communicate not judge based on certainties. I think this will confuse any newcomer to duality but you'll find it to be true.
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Originally Posted by Bluebird
to you (in a non-romantic way!)
I didn't read the whole thread.
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