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Thread: Are typewriters the way of the future?

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    Default Are typewriters the way of the future?

    To improve productivity, save money, and to promote a "greener" workplace, some companies are seeking to phase out desktop computers in their cubicle farms and replace them with electric typewriters. A big concern is employees wasting valuable company time on Facebook, tumblr, etc. Could this trend be indicative of the direction modern technology is taking?

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    <Crispy> what subt doesnt understand is that a healthy reaction to "FUCK YOU" is and not

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    There is a dark force working to impinge upon our daily lives. That dark force is Typewriters. The nub of what I intend to say here is that Typewriters is a model of wanton sleaze, a perfect picture of ingratitude, a paradigm of vandalism. As such, Typewriters insists that anyone who disagrees with it is ultimately disingenuous. How can it be so blind? Very easily. Basically, I want to make this clear so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony—and you know who I'm referring to—can process my point.

    As far as I can tell, some people insist that to enter into philosophic disputations with such nettlesome (or at least, unpleasant) barrators is both censorious and self-pitying. Others contend that what really sticks in my craw is seeing Typewriters create an unwelcome climate for those of us who are striving to confront and reject all manifestations of ethnocentrism. In the interest of clearing up the confusion I'll make the following observation: Typewriters must sense its own irremediable inferiority. That's why it is so desperate to uproot our very heritage and pave the way for its own rotten value system; it's the only way for it to distinguish themselves from the herd. It would be a lot nicer, however, if Typewriters also realized that if we do nothing, it will keep on crushing any semblance of opposition to its foul expedients. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can name and shame Typewriters's collaborators for their crass-to-the-core acts of moral relativism.

    Fortunately, if you ever get into an argument with some of Typewriters's satellites about whether or not its ipse dixits are a masterpiece of randy isolationism, I have an excellent sockdolager for you. Simply inform the other party that if we don't do something soon, Typewriters's disrespectful memoranda will rise like a golem with a million hands on a million throats to choke the honor out of decent, hardworking people. Typewriters argues that it knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but the best I can do is the following: It has never been able to assimilate and accept the humane ideals, civilized aims, and social aspirations of its peers. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to carry out the famous French admonition, écrasez l'infâme!, against its utterances, I must explain to the population at large that its ability to capitalize on the economic chaos, racial tensions, and social discontent of the current historical moment can be explained in large part by the following. An armed revolt against Typewriters is morally justified. However, I claim that it is not yet strategically justified.

    Because we have the determination to see the truth prevail, we must never forget that I myself resent being exposed to insensitive heinsbies. End of story. Actually, I should add that when I hear it say that the government's policies should be at odds with the will of the people, I have to wonder about it. Is it thoroughly gutless? Is it simply being parvanimous? Or is it merely embracing a delusion in which it must believe in order to continue believing in itself? Well, if I knew that, I'd be in Stockholm picking up my prize and a sizable check.

    Never before have I encountered more bloatedly self-important prose than that which Typewriters produces. In public, Typewriters promises that it'd never declare a national emergency, round up everyone who disagrees with it, and put them in concentration camps. In private, however, it secretly tells its yeomen that it'll do exactly that. I think we've seen this movie before: It's called Business as Usual for Typewriters.

    The following theorem may therefore be established as an eternally valid truth: I normally prefer to listen than to speak. I would, however, like to remind Typewriters that it avers that it has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. As you can no doubt determine from comments like that, facts and Typewriters are like oil and water. I was thinking about how Typewriters is known for selectively editing quotes to make it sound like it would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a scary act. And then it hit me. Mankind needs to do more to advance freedom in countries strangled by tyranny. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that many members of Typewriters's camp believe that Typewriters has the trappings of deity. Even worse, almost all of Typewriters's spinmeisters believe that cell-phone towers are in fact covert mind-control devices that use scalar waves to beam images into people's brains while they sleep. (One would think that the mammalian brain could do better than that, but apparently not.) My point is that if Typewriters were paying attention—which it would seem it is not, as I've already gone over this—it'd see that it uses obscure words like "counterintelligence" and "heterochromatization" to conceal its agenda to impose ideology, control thought, and punish virtually any behavior it disapproves of. I, speaking as someone who is not a ribald proponent of sexism, find that having to process phrases with long words like those makes me feel hoodwinked, inferior, definitely frustrated, and angry. That's why I strive for utmost clarity whenever I explain to others that my sources tell me that Typewriters intends to siphon off scarce international capital intended for underdeveloped countries sooner than you think. Not on my watch! I personally am therefore calling upon all good citizens to shout back at its propaganda.

    We need to educate others about the shenanigans and nostrums of lousy, noisome grafters. Even more remarkable, I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness—not in a dark, mephitic world run by the most deluded polluters I've ever seen. As I make no claim to be an authority on the subject, I defer to the judgments of an Oxford University professor, who has observed that the doom-and-gloom, it's-too-late crowd always plays right into Typewriters's hands. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to it. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that Typewriters has conceived the project of reigning over opinions and of conquering neither kingdoms nor provinces but the human mind. If this project succeeds then lusk publishers of hate literature will be free to increase alienation and delinquency among our young people. Even worse, it will be illegal for anyone to say anything about how Typewriters generally tries to keep its distance from the wayward, garrulous braggarts who parlay personal and political conspiracy theories into a multimillion-dollar financial empire. However, it sees nothing wrong with destroying the heart and fabric of our nation. Ah the sweet, sweet smell of hypocrisy.

    Again, Typewriters says that sciolism and charlatanism are identical concepts. Such verbal gems teach us that communism, oligarchism, and obstructionism follow Typewriters's footsteps. Wherever it goes, such things are sure to sprout up. The implication is that if history follows its course, it should be evident that whenever there's an argument about Typewriters's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Typewriters's modes of thought are a clumsy, postmodernist circle that begins and ends with Typewriters. That should settle the argument pretty quickly. Everybody loves a good game of hide-and-seek: find the person, find the hidden item, or, in Typewriters's case, find the hidden agenda.

    I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but Typewriters's frequent vacillating leads me to believe that whenever it announces that the laws of nature don't apply to it, its satraps applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that Typewriters has been trying to trick people into believing that it can force its moral code on the rest of us and get away with it. Apparently, it has succeeded beyond its wildest dreams with batty popinjays; they're now fully convinced that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups.

    While there is inevitable overlap at the edges of political movements, if we don't remove the Typewriters threat now, it will bite us in our backside before long. What's scary is that Typewriters has had some success at defiling the air and water in the name of profit. Even worse, it seems likely that Typewriters will put the gods of heaven into the corner as obsolete and outmoded and, in their stead, burn incense to the idol Mammon sooner or later. Although things may seem dark now, Typewriters can't prevent the sun from rising. It can't prevent me from writing that the very genesis of its predatory, amateurish propositions is in Bourbonism. And it seems to me to be a neat bit of historic justice that Typewriters will eventually itself be destroyed by Bourbonism. The only thing bigger than the chip on Typewriters's shoulder is the grossness of its conclusions. Period, finis, and Q.E.D.

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    Yes. However, to compensate for the low computing power of an electric typewriter, companies should consider connecting them together ('network'). Once it is on a network, the device would be able to harness the power of a more powerful device ('server') for data processing and data sharing. At that point, companies should consider outsourcing the servers to a third party ('cloud service provider', also known as 'software as a service vendor').

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    I wrote a term paper with an electric typewriter when staying at my parents house. I quickly bought a PC for work thereafter. Why not switch to Windows 95, sub-1G processors, with 256 mb of ram? I think that might work better.
     
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    Since United States has the monopoly on helium, the German Reich could fuel their zeppelins with hydrogen.
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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I've also noticed a new development in certain trend-setting circles where older technologies are preferred - fixed-gear bicycles in lieu of multi-geared bikes or motorised vehicles, instant cameras instead of digital, facial hair tattoos on fingers instead of hair-growth technologies, and iPhones instead of superior HTC or Samsung smartphones.
    Interesting - I have seen people use Instagram to make photos look like they come from old fashion cameras, but not heard about the step back to film. Are retailers still processing films?

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    ...The point of instant cameras is that you don't need them to be processed
    I misread it as disposable camera. My bad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I've also noticed a new development in certain trend-setting circles where older technologies are preferred - fixed-gear bicycles in lieu of multi-geared bikes or motorised vehicles, instant cameras instead of digital, facial hair tattoos on fingers instead of hair-growth technologies, and iPhones instead of superior HTC or Samsung smartphones.
    You think the iPhone is a sign of simplicity? There's nothing in the world that is more widely known as a standard for the LATEST technology than the iPhone.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    My goodness... you people really don't like me.

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    I like you.
    The end is nigh

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I do love how every iPhone is preinstalled with a randomly triggered Cracked Screen app.
    Do you work for Apple or something...?
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    I do love how every iPhone is preinstalled with a randomly triggered Cracked Screen app.
    I hate to mention this, but I got a hand-me-down iphone from a relative and some water got under the screen without any kind of direct water exposure. It then proceeded to randomly explode a few days later upon limited exposure to cold weather. It comes far more equipped than any of us had imagined
    (I'll never possess a smart fragile phone again)
    Quote Originally Posted by tcaudilllg View Post
    My goodness... you people really don't like me.
    Whenever I read a discussion about electrical typewriters I usually think the exact same thing. Let it pass, and try to read about laptops if you can

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    Um, do you?
    No but that's not an answer lol
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Not really, you seem to be mentioning them in a positive light overall.

    If I worked for Apple, it would be for the same reason They are a pretty sketchy company, filing lawsuits left and right over sketchy patent issues to try to corner the whole market, plus they use what is possibly one of the most inhumane production facilities on the planet called Foxconn, if you google it you will find all kinds of articles about people killing themselves.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Capitalist Pig View Post
    To improve productivity, save money, and to promote a "greener" workplace, some companies are seeking to phase out desktop computers in their cubicle farms and replace them with electric typewriters. A big concern is employees wasting valuable company time on Facebook, tumblr, etc. Could this trend be indicative of the direction modern technology is taking?
    Hmmm, if they really wanted to save money and promote a greener workplace, maybe they should consider phasing out most uses of the written word. This might also increase job availability...though hiring more employees might be an added expense. But think of all the office supplies they wouldn't have to buy, have stolen, nor replace..and the office equipment they wouldn,t have to invest in only to have it quicly outdated, including outdated software and maintenance fees and energy costs.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Hmmm, if they really wanted to save money and promote a greener workplace, maybe they should consider phasing out most uses of the written word. This might also increase job availability...though hiring more employees might be an added expense. But think of all the office supplies they wouldn't have to buy, have stolen, nor replace..and the office equipment they wouldn,t have to invest in only to have it quicly outdated, including outdated software and maintenance fees and energy costs.
    text2speech way of the future. You might have just killed literacy rates, like, everywhere.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atlast View Post
    text2speech way of the future. You might have just killed literacy rates, like, everywhere.
    But it might improve verbal communications rates, which would include communication efforts overall.
    Think of how much concentration is required to follow verbal communications, AND to express one's self clearly, as well as to alter one's communications to be better understood by a particular audience. (rather than writing it out without accessing immediate feedback of understandability.)
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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    Seriously??? I said hipsters like them even though they're shit compared to other smartphones, and I made a joke about how easily their screens crack... I need to work on my snark tone
    Oh lol I thought you meant an actual app lol, there is such a thing as a cracked screen app, it makes it look like the phone is broken but its just a graphic.

    The iPhone isn't bad, its just overpriced. The shittiest thing about them, and Samsung for that matter, is that they use Foxconn. Pretty fucked up shit, plz Google and share...
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilly View Post
    Oh lol I thought you meant an actual app lol, there is such a thing as a cracked screen app, it makes it look like the phone is broken but its just a graphic.
    Oh..i misread too, but in the different direction. I was scanning the comments and had read hers as coming with a code to crack the system...meaning being able to use that crack in the coding to allow the item to do more than what apple had limited it to. (I think what i am referring to is called jail-breaking.)

    This reference would have suggested that these apple products needed improvements to make it less restricting.
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    This is seriously a pointless convo lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by octo View Post
    Well, I'm not the one promoting their products here... the opposite, really. Did you mean to ask me if I worked for HTC? I don't, but that would be awesome. I would work for Apple to destroy them from the inside.
    Like Nine Inch Nails style?

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    I just noted that some of the posters in this thread are ones in which I clearly remember their posts, yet they have a relatively low post count in regards to their join date.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae2point0 View Post
    This is seriously a pointless convo lol
    Wait. I thought that was the point.
    Which would make this pointless conver a non-pointless conver.
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    Wait. I thought that was the point.
    Which would make this pointless conver a non-pointless conver.
    ps. your mom x infinity =(

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    lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jadae2point0 View Post
    ps. your mom x infinity =(
    That would be infjinity to the likes of You!
    IEE 649 sx/sp cp

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    Quote Originally Posted by anndelise View Post
    That would be infjinity to the likes of You!
    omg. you win, lol. that was pretty good

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    the conversation about the pointless conversation having a point and the pointless convo itself are different convos :]

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ms. Kensington View Post
    the conversation about the pointless conversation having a point and the pointless convo itself are different convos :]
    Ms. Kensington! So good to see you again!


    I don't pay attention to the whole forum all of the time so - is it just me or have you suddenly reappeared out of thin air?
    Oh, to find you in dreams - mixing prior, analog, and never-beens... facts slip and turn and change with little lucidity. except the strong, permeating reality of emotion.

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